Another proud moment in Missouri politics.

Although I admire their passion,
They'll fail if they're planning to cash in.
Their movement to act
Ingores one simple fact:
That smoking has fallen from fashion.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!

Novelty lighters raped my mother, and castrated my father!

facepalm

I have this:

You can't legislate common sense. Otherwise, jackasses like this wouldn't be in government.

As always, I cringe when I see a headline from my home state on Fark... it's never a good thing.

The proposed law would specifically prohibit lighters that look like cartoon characters, animals, vehicles or food products.


But this is still cool, right?

They can take them from my cold slightly warm and flashing dead hands!

Yeah, because whenever I saw a lighter as a kid the last thing I ever wanted to do was play with the cool thing that makes flames.

How about mandatory child safety devices on lighters? Keeps little kids from using them, but you can usually disable them if you really don't like them.

Dadburns: As always, I cringe when I see a headline from my home state on Fark... it's never a good thing.

Move to Florida, after awhile you get used to it.

Implements of DESTRUCTION more like it!!



Sadly, I live here.

So anything that might possibly be a danger to children must be banned from all of society? God forbid we try letting parents take responsibility for their kids instead.

My favorite novelty lighter is from the Ozarkland store in Kingdom City, Missouri. It has a Confederate flag and says "Darn Tootin' I'm a Rebel" on it.

Eh... Didn't read the article... but as a Missourian... I find myself strangely indifferent.

Stuff like this is another reason why people with children should pay more in taxes than non-parents, rather than the exact opposite.

But... when are my fun-shaped Avon cologne bottles going to be worth something??

Sybarite: The proposed law would specifically prohibit lighters that look like cartoon characters, animals, vehicles or food products.


But this is still cool, right?

The thought processes of the guy who invented this lighter is painfully transparent.

Step one: Flick my BIC! ad generated by advertising agency.

Step two: Ad airs.

Step three: Dinguses all over God's Creation think "Flick my dick!". Huh, huh, huh. I thought dick!

Step Four: One Dingus slightly smarter than the rest things: wouldn't it be cool if my BIC was a DICK. Then I'd have a big dick in my pocket.

Step Five: Mae West impersonator says "Is that an illegal novelty lighter in your pocket or are you having a very, very small happy moment? Very, very small. Micro-dick shaped novelty lighter tiny."

It'll be a cold day hell before I recognize Missoura!

WHat kind of puckermouthed Lutherens run this state?

NANNY STATE

mikebellman: Implements of DESTRUCTION more like it!!



Sadly, I live here.

And in one fell swoop they throw out a pic of everything stereotypically redneck about MO.

/except the star and ladybug
//farking stars and ladybugs
///live here too.

MaxxLarge: Although I admire their passion,
They'll fail if they're planning to cash in.
Their movement to act
Ingores one simple fact:
That smoking has fallen from fashion.

How do you farking do that so fast?

If, through action or inaction, you allow your a child to play with a lighter or matches of any sort without a primer on fire safety, you deserve what happens next.

/as a kid, I saw an episode of Webster where the house burned down...freaked me out for years.

//also had a wood-burning stove in the living room, and was allowed to light the kindling as far back as I can remember, so I had an early education about burning things.

Only a decade ago an article like that would be considered satire.

gorgor: It'll be a cold day hell before I recognize Missoura!

I live in Missery and I don't like it one bit.

Are you all animal rapists? I just wonder if the rumour is true or not.

You asshats go ahead and make your fun.

Having seen enough news stories over the years where children have burned down their residences because they were playing with matches/lighters, I agree with the firefighters who say that that these novelty lighters should be banned.

Meh, i think we should create MORE so called dangerous objects that look like toys or candy etc.

Kids need to learn themselves that just because it LOOKS like a toy doesn't mean it is. Just because it's shiny and makes a pretty noise, doesn't mean you get to pick it up and fark about with it.

What's next? Banning sales of soft toys due to the fact that they teach children that bears and tigers and the like are cute and cuddly. I suggest we get this one into motion because apparantly "if it save only one life then it is worth the convienience".

I'm quite prepared to sacrifice a few random children to Darwin if it means that the rest of us get to live without this crap.

If parents kept a better eye on their own kids, or taught the little sticky fingered horrors not to pick up and play with everything that catches their eyes like some sort of demented farking magpie, or simply not leave "dangerous" stuff lying around, then there wouldn't be any danger to kids.

Phil Moskowitz: Are you all animal rapists? I just wonder if the rumour is true or not.

We are. Don't all Americans do that? Is it really just us?

Clonod: My favorite novelty lighter is from the Ozarkland store in Kingdom City, Missouri. It has a Confederate flag and says "Darn Tootin' I'm a Rebel" on it.

I was just there this weekend. The shop owners must have given you a weird look for purchasing the classiest item they had.

Phil Moskowitz: Are you all animal rapists? I just wonder if the rumour is true or not.

I prefer goat.

Phil Moskowitz: Are you all animal rapists? I just wonder if the rumour is true or not.

No, not all of us.

/can't rape a willing soul.

MaxxLarge: Although I admire their passion,
They'll fail if they're planning to cash in.
Their movement to act
Ingores one simple fact:
That smoking has fallen from fashion.

are you taking a poetry class this semester or something? seems you like to practice on alot of threads...

Fark Me To Tears: You asshats go ahead and make your fun.

Having seen enough news stories over the years where children have burned down their residences because they were playing with matches/lighters, I agree with the firefighters who say that that these novelty lighters should be banned.

What? novelty matches?

Don't leave your kids unsupervised, teach them not to mess with stuff thats not theirs, teach them fire is bad then they won't burn your residence down.

I would bet 2009's salary on the fact that 95%+ of all the fires started by kids accidently messing around with lighters/matches, were started with normal everyday still to be legal fire starting implements.

In fact the article lists a whole 3 incidents for the last 2 years for the whole of the US (well I'm assuming the whole of the US as it mentions Arkansas and Oregon), while at the same time says that in 2007 there were 26 fires started with lighters by juveniles youger than 16 in Missouri alone.

Phil Moskowitz: Are you all animal rapists? I just wonder if the rumour is true or not.

I can't run fast enough to catch them anymore. Unless you count roadkill...

Pegeen: gorgor: It'll be a cold day hell before I recognize Missoura!

I live in Missery and I don't like it one bit.

But Missery loves company :)

Fark Me To Tears: You asshats go ahead and make your fun.

Having seen enough news stories over the years where children have burned down their residences because they were playing with matches/lighters, I agree with the firefighters who say that that these novelty lighters should be banned.

Were these novelty matches? Is there some reason the parents in question were utterly incapable of keeping matches out of reach of children? And why should a childless adult like me be told "If it's too dangerous for a three-year-old to play with, you can't have it either?"

Dadburns: As always, I cringe when I see a headline from my home state on Fark... it's never a good thing.

Same. I usually think 'Oh what now....'. Bonus, they even played the think of the children card.

They made this one that was a jukebox and when we were teenagers my friends and I would buy two, pop them open, and put them on either corner of the dashboard. They had this very, very bright and rapidly flashing blue color that flashed quickly a few seconds then stopped a few seconds.

People would pull over and get out of our way. Helped us get places faster.

Found it!

vudukungfu: MaxxLarge: Although I admire their passion,
They'll fail if they're planning to cash in.
Their movement to act
Ingores one simple fact:
That smoking has fallen from fashion.

How do you farking do that so fast?

The power of . We get access to the articles way before you liters.

/and hookers
//well I say hookers, they're liters we keep in the basement

Fark Me To Tears: You asshats go ahead and make your fun.

Having seen enough news stories over the years where children have burned down their residences because they were playing with matches/lighters, I agree with the firefighters who say that that these novelty lighters should be banned.

When I was a kid I played with sparklers and lighters and I liked it! Sure, I burnt my house down and lit my dog on fire a few times, but it was FUN.

Business acumen, they have none.

Next thing you know they will try to ban guns that look menacing.

Novelty lighters will never go down in price. I'm in for a hundred!

/I can light my tulips on fire with them

Sybarite: The proposed law would specifically prohibit lighters that look like cartoon characters, animals, vehicles or food products.


But this is still cool, right?

A penis that shoots a burning flame would be a good reminder to always use protection.

Pinko_Commie: Meh, i think we should create MORE so called dangerous objects that look like toys or candy etc.

Kids need to learn themselves that just because it LOOKS like a toy doesn't mean it is. Just because it's shiny and makes a pretty noise, doesn't mean you get to pick it up and fark about with it.

What's next? Banning sales of soft toys due to the fact that they teach children that bears and tigers and the like are cute and cuddly. I suggest we get this one into motion because apparantly "if it save only one life then it is worth the convienience".

I'm quite prepared to sacrifice a few random children to Darwin if it means that the rest of us get to live without this crap.

If parents kept a better eye on their own kids, or taught the little sticky fingered horrors not to pick up and play with everything that catches their eyes like some sort of demented farking magpie, or simply not leave "dangerous" stuff lying around, then there wouldn't be any danger to kids.

here, here. This.

and I actually kind of like the Springfield/Branson area, but I am from Arkanslaw so..

Missoura, Missouri, Missery...

I live in the state, but was not born here, so I have to ask - what *is* the proper way to say it, anyways? I've always pronounced it "mizz-ur-ey" and cringe whenever people say "mizz-ur-uh".