Really? You put together a giant "Top Five" list of people who can't sing, and you lump Celine Dion in with Fred Durst?

Weak.

You did NOT just diss Lou Reed.

sens: Really? You put together a giant "Top Five" list of people who can't sing, and you lump Celine Dion in with Fred Durst?

Weak.

Thank you. Celine Dion is a ham and I don't particularly like her songs or style but the woman can sing.

phenn: You did NOT just diss Lou Reed.

Yep, that's totally incorrect. Lou Reed NEVER sang, ever. Lou Reed READ his lyrics. In his best monotone voice.


the best damned lyrics ever written too, btw

the difference I think is that there is singers that are meant to sing well but cant.

But then there is singer where their abilities are irrelevant to the task at hand. And what they sing about transcend their actual performance: Hence Johnny rotten/Lydon

FRED DURST
Here's another one of these "I think I'll sing a ballad 'cause I can rap" dudes.

Ummmm... he can?

Why isn't that douchebag from Radiohead listed?

Johnny Rotten sang exactly like he was supposed to.

HappyHarryHardOn: the difference I think is that there is singers that are meant to sing well but cant.

But then there is singer where their abilities are irrelevant to the task at hand. And what they sing about transcend their actual performance: Hence Johnny rotten/Lydon

And then there are the singers that have decent voices but have no soul versus those whose music is thoroughly infused with it. And I don't mean "soul" in the genre sense.

Soul: Aretha Franklin, Mary J. Blige, Bob Dylan, Jeff Buckley, Marvin Gaye, Amy Winehouse, Otis Redding, Freddie Mercury, Billie Holiday

No soul: Beyonce, Norah Jones, Usher, most American Idol winners, Leona Lewis, James Blunt, etc.

chemical_angel: Why isn't that douchebag from Radiohead listed?

listen to "There There" from "Hail to the Thief" at least 3 times in a row and you will know why there is so much Radiohead love.

/or not, it's my fave.

coco ebert: Norah Jones

BOOOO. Norah Jones sings adult contemporary perfectly.

Also, Celine Dion sings incredibly. I just happen to dislike her music.

I don't think Lydon would argue with you that he can't sing. In fact, what makes him such a character is how forthcoming he is about his flaws.

Robo73: chemical_angel: Why isn't that douchebag from Radiohead listed?

listen to "There There" from "Hail to the Thief" at least 3 times in a row and you will know why there is so much Radiohead love.

/or not, it's my fave.

I downloaded it and am listening now. Sorry ... I hate it. This guys vocals sound like a yard full of cats being tortured with a lawnmower.

GavinTheAlmighty: coco ebert: Norah Jones

BOOOO. Norah Jones sings adult contemporary perfectly.

My point exactly. Very meh.

John Lydon, Tom Verlaine, Lou Reed, Captain Beefheart, Ozzy and Henry Rollins sounded exactly the way they wanted to.

Captain Beefheart, never even pretended that he knew how to sing.

Nor did Lou Reed.

However, Kanye West, Pee Doody (or whatever that asshole's name is this week), and legions of the other descendants of vanquished tribes who try to rhyme their 50 vocabularies, referring to themselves as "musicians", offends a great many of us.

Robo73: listen to "There There" from "Hail to the Thief" at least 3 times in a row and you will know why there is so much Radiohead love.

/or not, it's my fave.

They're douches who are propped up by the brainless rag that is the modern Rolling Stone that play crappy music and have NEVER made me like them since "Creep." I prefer talent, musical ability and ACTUAL substance to whiny music and faux emo emotion.

coco ebert: Soul: Aretha Franklin, Mary J. Blige, Bob Dylan, Jeff Buckley, Marvin Gaye, Amy Winehouse, Otis Redding, Freddie Mercury, Billie Holiday

No soul: Beyonce, Norah Jones, Usher, most American Idol winners, Leona Lewis, James Blunt, etc.

I would switch Beyonce and Amy Winehouse. Winehouse is a gimmicky, husky voice. Her cover of "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" -- a truly beautiful song -- makes me cringe.

On the other hand, I think Beyonce sells her act really well. "Crazy in Love" is easily one of the decade's best pop songs.

So what?
Since when has pop music ever been about talent?

I just came in here to say FU subby for dissing Lou Reed. If you want to here recitation of lyrics, listen to William Shatner. And if you want to shiat on talented artists who may not have the prettiest voices in the world, why did you leave out Willie Nelson?

fark Lou Reed, he can take care of himself, you farking leave Cohen out of this!

And Roger Waters! (oh, you did)

Funny how the very best vocalists often can't sing, innit?

JerseyTim:
On the other hand, I think Beyonce sells her act really well. "Crazy in Love" is easily one of the decade's best pop songs.

That's kinda like being the smartest kid in special ed.

TommyymmoT: Captain Beefheart, never even pretended that he knew how to sing.

Nor did Lou Reed.

That's it. You're going out. On the dirty boulevard.

El Freak: That's kinda like being the smartest kid in special ed.

Do you think there's such a thing a great pop music?

Gavino: fark Lou Reed, he can take care of himself, you farking leave Cohen out of this!

And Roger Waters! (oh, you did)

Funny how the very best vocalists often can't sing, innit?

Do you mean "lyricists"?

Weaps: TommyymmoT: Captain Beefheart, never even pretended that he knew how to sing.

Nor did Lou Reed.

That's it. You're going out. On the dirty boulevard.

That's OK. I was gonna go there anyway.

/Just waitin on my man.

I don't think Henry Rollins' intention was ever to sing.

Because he's a liar.

coco ebert: Gavino: fark Lou Reed, he can take care of himself, you farking leave Cohen out of this!

And Roger Waters! (oh, you did)

Funny how the very best vocalists often can't sing, innit?

Do you mean "lyricists"?

I didn't, actually. I meant in terms of ellicting a response from the audience, the ability to sing in a formal sense seems to sometimes be inversely proportional to the emotional conveyance. Sometimes. Or something.

JerseyTim: El Freak: That's kinda like being the smartest kid in special ed.

Do you think there's such a thing a great pop music?

Yes, just not any pop music made in the last 10 years.

Gavino: coco ebert: Gavino: fark Lou Reed, he can take care of himself, you farking leave Cohen out of this!

And Roger Waters! (oh, you did)

Funny how the very best vocalists often can't sing, innit?

Do you mean "lyricists"?

I didn't, actually. I meant in terms of ellicting a response from the audience, the ability to sing in a formal sense seems to sometimes be inversely proportional to the emotional conveyance. Sometimes. Or something.

Nah. That's like saying that actually learning how to play the guitar, or piano...or whatever, prevents you from playing it with any kind of feeling.

Hey, ya know what we used to call people who could feel the music, yet could not play a note?

Appreciative audiences.

Kanye isn't really autotuning his voice to fix bad singing, he uses autotune to achieve the same effect as using a vocoder with a touch of talkbox thrown in.

John Lydon can sing, when he wants to (pops)

WhyteRaven74: Kanye isn't really autotuning his voice to fix bad singing, he uses autotune to achieve the same effect as using a vocoder with a touch of talkbox thrown in.

John Lydon can sing, when he wants to (pops)

Agreed. The way an autotuner works (if you're somebody who shouldn't be allowed to touch any of the knobs), is that it picks out all incoming notes, and automatically corrects pitch.

If you have it set on full, it's like turning a slide guitar into a piano.

-1 for pathetic headline, shlubby.

ANYBODY can sing.

YOU can only decide if you like hearing it or not.

TommyymmoT: If you have it set on full, it's like turning a slide guitar into a piano.

I'll admit I dig the vocoder effect from autotune, other uses of autotune? Not really. Then again most of what I hear people talk about doing with ProTools makes me want to strangle them.

I saw this story on Yahoo this morning and debated for about 1 second whether it was submittable. Apparently it was.

Its a stupid list, I don't even know where to begin. Anthony Kiedis? Really, you're gonna single out him? Maybe he isn't Luciano Paverotti but he's got a fine voice for a Rock band. Its nice and distinct to. I mean if you're gonna hate on Mr. Kiedis then why not Robert Smith, or any other rock singer for that matter. Rock singers don't generally pretend to try to sing like a Sinatra. They sing how they can and singers like Kiedis sing just how they should for their type of music. You don't want Barry White fronting a Punk Band. Its just dumb rag on singers whose singing isn't meant to be great. Celine Dion on the other hand, does try to sing for real. My mother was/is an opera singer, and her professional opinion of Celine Dion is that her singing is awful. While maybe she can sing better than I can, she can't sing well enough to deserve the fame she's got. Unlike a Kiedis or a Smith, Miss Dion isn't singing songs that she's written so there isn't any reason to listen to her when you could hear the same song sung by a better singer.

But really, the dumbest thing on the list is the inclusion of Rappers. Fred Durst and Kanye West are both tremendous douche bags (in Fred's case I can only speak to his public persona he may actually be a pretty decent fellow in reality, not Kanye though), but anyway, they aren't "singers who can't sing", they're Rappers that can't sing! The reason the word rapping exists is because what rappers do can't really be described as singing. In the days of Run DMC and Grandmaster Flash it was often more shouting than anything. Rappers need to stay off this kind of list as long as Afrika Bambaataa isn't playing the lead at La Scala. Just because a Rapper like Durst or West tried to sing, that doesn't make then a singer, desperate, maybe, but not a singer.

happy harry hard on
Yep, that's totally incorrect. Lou Reed NEVER sang, ever. Lou Reed READ his lyrics. In his best monotone voice.


THIS!

/ my fav. lou reed albums: "transformer", "berlin", "Metal Machine Music" (what?), "Coney Island Baby", "Street Hassle", "New Sensations", "New York" [well half of the last two are good...]

GavinTheAlmighty
Also, Celine Dion sings incredibly. I just happen to dislike her music.

THIS!

I think she has an amazing voice and range, I just really, really hate the songs she sings.

[i find it's funny how she can sing pretty darn well in english, yet her english whilst talking --- at least in the 90's, from an interview i saw --- is mediocre.

my list of other singers/people [not on article list] who (supposedly) "can't sing"

Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits)
David Byrne (Talking Heads)
Tom Waits
that lead singer guy named Conner from "Bright Eyes"
the lead singer of Can
Mike Oldfield
Iggy Pop
Wayne Coyne [spelling?] from Flaming Lips

What about drummers who can't drum?

/deep in my heart, I do be-leeeeeve...

People who sing badly on their own are 1000000000000000000x more respectable than anyone who has ever used an autotuner.

Captain Beefheart?


Are you outta your fukcing mind subby?
Or just retarded?

He sounds almost exactly like Howlin' Wolf. (and then some)

From a 1970s article on the man:


"....record companies eagerly seek the Beefheart voice with its unprecedented four and one half octave range"

and...

"His first release on A&M was a new version of "Diddy Wah Diddy" made popular by Bo Diddley. It featured his own style of frantic harp playing and an incredibly "low down" voice hitting notes at least half an octave lower than the lowest notes ever sung by any other rock performer"

Subby is far beyond moronic.

the lead singer of Can

Mooney?
Suzuki?

"All my favorite singers couldn't sing"

I always thought Malcolm and Damo were both quite extraordinary.

A certain quality of singers is to just simply sound interesting.

Well, if you go by opera singer standards, fully most of the singers we listen to, "can't sing".

craigdamage:

I always thought Malcolm and Damo were both quite extraordinary.

A certain quality of singers is to just simply sound interesting.

I don't disagree, I was responding to "the lead singer of Can".

John Lydon, Tom Verlaine, Lou Reed, Captain Beefheart, Ozzy and Henry Rollins

You know who it is as soon as you hear a syllable.

Compare that to your generic America Idol Mariah Carey wannabe screamers.

Celine Dion can sing. She just chooses to sing crap.

Lou Reed can't sing, he is a very sloppy guitar player, a mediocre songwriter, and (by most accounts) a dick. How he still managed to produce so much amazing music is one of the great mysteries in life.


/Robert Quine playing with Lou is the best thing ever

chickyraptor
Lead singer of Can.
Mooney? Suzuki?

whoops! sorry.
i meant Suzuki, i just couldn't think of his name...

actually, can i pick BOTH ? lol

ok ok that's not very fair of me...
i've only heard one or two songs from the Can albums w/ Mooney.

Call me crazy, but I think Suzuki actually became a BETTER singer over the course of a few albums.
on Tago Mago he was meh...
on "Ege..." he was a bit better...
and then on "future days" he actually had pretty good vocal melodies going on there... and i could understand most of what he was saying lol

PLEASE NOTE:
on my list above, i put "who (supposedly) can't sing".
I like all the people i put in my list,
and I like all of their voices,
and believe it or not, i think most of them CAN sing.

just so you guys don't think i put them on there to put them down.
that was def. NOT the case.

thank you.
T_U_E