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(London Times) Strange Scotland wants to reintroduce moose, wolves, and bears to the countryside. What could possibly go wrong?   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 70
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Coronach 2008-12-28 09:25:25 AM  
Scotland has meese?

 
zymurgist 2008-12-28 09:33:46 AM  
A Moose one bit my sister...

 
2wolves 2008-12-28 10:18:26 AM  
More wolves are always a good idea.

 
Generation_D [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:24:08 AM  
Moose crap in my malt whisky. Thanks guys, can't wait.

 
SirGnarls [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:33:27 AM  
Canada called, they want their wildlife back

 
wvann 2008-12-28 10:46:32 AM  
Well, they were colonized by wankers.

 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:48:45 AM  
submitter: moose, wolves, and bears

oh my.

 
Gridlock 2008-12-28 10:49:06 AM  
A dingo ate my baby!

 
UncleCal 2008-12-28 10:49:46 AM  
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
Wølf bites Kan be pretty nasti tøø...

/Came for the møøse reference, left grinning...
//What? No squirrel to go with the moose?

 
WienerButt 2008-12-28 10:51:07 AM  
Sarah Palin will move to Scotland?

 
Fat_Bongo 2008-12-28 10:53:17 AM  
The Highlands are figging empty anyway, who gives a shiat what they put there? There's also an over-population of deer now ni Scotland, that some wolves could assist with.

 
MasonL87 2008-12-28 10:54:35 AM  
Moose, wolves, and bears all reintroduced to one area? Like at the same time? Dude, that'd be awesome! *grabs popcorn*

 
UNC_Samurai [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:54:52 AM  
They will feast on Health and Safety officials?

 
MonkeyVegetables [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:57:42 AM  
Fat_Bongo: The Highlands are figging empty anyway, who gives a shiat what they put there? There's also an over-population of deer now ni Scotland, that some wolves could assist with.

Ni!

 
whereisian 2008-12-28 11:03:13 AM  
They're just jealous of the Newfies.

i42.tinypic.com

 
opiumpoopy 2008-12-28 11:09:46 AM  
Fat_Bongo: The Highlands are figging empty anyway, who gives a shiat what they put there?

I know some sheep who would beg to differ.

 
Koggie [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 11:15:45 AM  
opiumpoopy: I know some sheep who would beg to differ.

Intimately?

 
HeadLever [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 11:20:10 AM  
2wolves: More wolves are always a good idea.

Unless you are in the ranching buisiness. Then, not so much.

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 11:21:17 AM  
translation : Scotland wants to reintroduce bears to the countryside

//they seem like the apex predator, right?

 
worlddan 2008-12-28 11:24:33 AM  
I support this concept entirely provided that a can have a cabin on a pond where my mother brings me home baked cookies six days a week and where I can write books appealing to inexperienced yet romantically inclined boys.

 
worlddan 2008-12-28 11:25:37 AM  
Damnit. That *I* can have***

 
aresef 2008-12-28 11:25:50 AM  
zymurgist: A Moose once bit my sister...

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist," "Fillings of Passion," "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...

Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...

 
peon36 2008-12-28 11:28:12 AM  
What the rewilders want is nothing less than the reversal of thousands of years of domestication,

So we should let our dogs go feral then?

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 11:28:13 AM  
I think there will be a decline in the sheep population, then.

 
Oldiron_79 2008-12-28 11:30:37 AM  
I came here for some Colbert threat down and was disappointed.

 
swamp_of_dumb 2008-12-28 11:34:12 AM  
I can't think of a downside to reintroducing large predators to an area that hasn't seen them for five hundred years.

www.dailyhaha.com

Consider that pic a happy placeholder for all the gruesome pics that come up with a GIS of "bear attack".

 
Desert Sledder 2008-12-28 11:38:28 AM  
UncleCal: Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
Wølf bites Kan be pretty nasti tøø...


Those responsible for submitting comments have been sacked.

 
Bwahaha 2008-12-28 11:39:56 AM  
moose were introduced to Newfoundland a little over a hunndred years ago. By an unfortunate coincidence, it was around the same time as the eradication of the Newfoundland wolf. Having no natural predators, the moose flourished. There are now over 100,000 moose on the island of Newfoundland. They caused seven hundred car accidents last year, many of them fatal.
importing moose is a stupid idea.

 
Oldiron_79 2008-12-28 11:43:50 AM  
You know, Europe once had lions and leopards too. They should so introduce them.

 
El_Swino 2008-12-28 11:48:48 AM  
I'll be impressed when they reintroduce the aurochs.

 
farkeruk 2008-12-28 11:48:58 AM  
Fat_Bongo: There's also an over-population of deer now ni Scotland, that some wolves could assist with.

Humans could also do the job quite well.

Look - none of these animals benefit humans in any way and are a downside to our well-being. Given a choice between some hippy crap, and having venison on my plate, I'll take the latter.

 
Lumoclear 2008-12-28 11:53:43 AM  
Canada. Let's copy it.

 
Dubai Vol 2008-12-28 11:55:13 AM  
It's a complex question, for sure. I am not familiar with Scotland, but if they are anything like North America, the deer are becoming a nuisance because there are no predators to keep them down. introducing wolves is one solution, but as noted above, wolves also eat sheep.

Well-regulated hunting is the option that many American regulatory agencies employ. The places where it is failing are suburbs. Too densley populated with humans to allow hunting, too sparsley populated to preclude foraging by deer.

Hey venison is delicious. I am allowed to harvest deer on my land in Tennessee without so much as a hunting license. There are plenty there. They love the tangled brush in the bog. I had a nodding acquiantance with a doe and her faun last year. She knew when hunting season started and disappeared before i could put her in the freezer. Fair enough.

If it matters, I chased off coyotes and feral dogs that were harrassing her several times. No way was I going to let them eat "my" deer.

The web of life is complex.

 
Gussie Fink-Nottle 2008-12-28 11:56:30 AM  
Fat_Bongo: There's also an over-population of deer Old People now ni Scotland, that some wolves could assist with.

/FTFY

 
ultrachronic 2008-12-28 11:57:28 AM  
Ah hell... this should be fun...

 
Mrakattack 2008-12-28 11:59:25 AM  
If Scotland can sustain these animals without their being a detriment to the human population, then great!

But if there are going to be dangerous predators around, then I assume those who live in rural areas will be given opportunity to purchase powerful firearms to defend their families, herds, pets, etc. In particular, bears aren't to be trifled with. Even black bears (the smaller and less aggressive kind) have been known to attack people.

But this is Europe. Presumably they'll release dangerous animals into people's environments and tell them to just farkin' deal with it because they're not getting a gun.

 
TheHoodedClaw 2008-12-28 12:11:37 PM  
Mrakattack: If Scotland can sustain these animals without their being a detriment to the human population, then great!

But if there are going to be dangerous predators around, then I assume those who live in rural areas will be given opportunity to purchase powerful firearms to defend their families, herds, pets, etc. In particular, bears aren't to be trifled with. Even black bears (the smaller and less aggressive kind) have been known to attack people.

But this is Europe. Presumably they'll release dangerous animals into people's environments and tell them to just farkin' deal with it because they're not getting a gun.


Contrary to what you may have read on the internet, it's perfectly possible to own a shotgun or rifle in Scotland. Just not handguns.

 
binnster 2008-12-28 12:15:05 PM  
Mrakattack: But this is Europe. Presumably they'll release dangerous animals into people's environments and tell them to just farkin' deal with it because they're not getting a gun.

Believe it or not, I have family living in rural Scotland, and they already have guns.

 
Mrakattack 2008-12-28 12:19:09 PM  
Ha, all I hear about Britain and weapons ownership is that they've gotten guns out of the hands of the populace and they're working on knives next. Guess that's only in the more densely populated areas.

 
good_2_go 2008-12-28 12:20:44 PM  
lh4.ggpht.com

 
TheDogsBollox 2008-12-28 12:21:05 PM  
If Scotland can sustain these animals without their being a detriment to the human population, then great!

But if there are going to be dangerous predators around, then I assume those who live in rural areas will be given opportunity to purchase powerful firearms to defend their families, herds, pets, etc. In particular, bears aren't to be trifled with. Even black bears (the smaller and less aggressive kind) have been known to attack people.

But this is Europe. Presumably they'll release dangerous animals into people's environments and tell them to just farkin' deal with it because they're not getting a gun.


It's not illegal to own a big farking gun in Britain, there just isn't much need for one in normal circumstances.. That said, if they introduce bears and wolves into my neck of the woods, I'll be first in line for one of those.

The great thing about living in Scotland is you have access to some of the most beautiful countryside in the world and there is nothing there that can kill you (except the odd snake which you'd be hard pushed to find). There are plenty things that can piss you off - the midges can definately make you feel like you're about to die, but nothing a net and a smoky fire can't handle..

I spend my summers, and the occasional winter, walking and fishing my way round the lochs and mountains - like a lot of us do - and we take great pride in the fact that we have a right of access to all that land. Hordes of rich English aristocratic wankers planning to fence off large portions of their estates is something that is not welcome and will be fiercely opposed. Not to mention the future risk of potentially lethal creatures eventually making their way into rural towns and villages.

Stupid idea by rich twats who think they're being eco friendly but are really looking to make a bit of easy cash out of their inbred school chums.

Won't happen.

 
Smarshmallow 2008-12-28 12:23:34 PM  
farkeruk: Look - none of these animals benefit humans in any way and are a downside to our well-being. Given a choice between some hippy crap, and having venison on my plate, I'll take the latter.

You're a pussy who wants a nice safe, sterile world. Nice job, pussy.

 
ChadManMn 2008-12-28 12:25:41 PM  
We moose, wolves, and bears here. They're rarely much of a problem. We also have coyotes and a few cougars. Our terrain is also much more accessible than Scotland.


/dont see the problem

 
Lord Summerisle 2008-12-28 12:29:33 PM  
This is a good idea in a vast country, a stupid idea for a small, crowded country.

How about repopulating the highlands with the human beings who were cleared off the land by the Scottish aristocracy to make way for sheep? We could get a few shiploads of Scots-Canadians and reintroduce them to the wild!

 
binnster 2008-12-28 12:29:33 PM  
Mrakattack: Ha, all I hear about Britain and weapons ownership is that they've gotten guns out of the hands of the populace and they're working on knives next.

I guess that narrows you down to troll or Fox news viewer. Maybe both.

 
Pinko_Commie 2008-12-28 12:32:14 PM  
This is a good idea. This is going someway towards my ultimate plans of introducing tigers to the UK. I think it'll keep the numbers of chav's and other annoyances down to a minimum. I mean who wants to hang around outside of off-licences and on street corners if there is a chance that 500lbs of fur and teeth and claws will leap out and savage them :-)

 
schattenteufel [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 12:33:38 PM  
Just happy it's not Pottsylvania:
upload.wikimedia.org

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 12:47:55 PM  
Most people know that wolves were reintroduced into the western U.S. some years ago (about 15 years ago, now). They're doing great, and except for some livestock predation, don't bother too many people. They haven't attacked anyone, don't roam the streets of towns looking for prey, and when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a pack of wolves does NOT materialize, waiting for you to get out of the car to take a pee so they can eat you.

I think the western U.S. has a lot more room for these critters, though. One rule of a high-level predator is that it needs a lot of room to roam, and since I'm too lazy to check out the statistics on Scotland, I don't know if there's room to have animals like these around.

This attitude so many people have of 'well, if there's going to be predators out there, I'm going to be packing!' is farking retarded. I've been wandering around the mountains for 20 years, never been threatened by anything (except people), and never felt like I needed a gun. If you're so intimidated by the big scary wild animals, you know what--stay home and play Cabela's hunter games. The woods is not going to miss you.

 
Sgian Dubh 2008-12-28 01:02:29 PM  
an mus uair giota mo deirfur.

/close enough for fark

 
SharkTrager 2008-12-28 01:22:40 PM  
cryinoutloud: Most people know that wolves were reintroduced into the western U.S. some years ago (about 15 years ago, now). They're doing great, and except for some livestock predation, don't bother too many people. They haven't attacked anyone, don't roam the streets of towns looking for prey, and when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a pack of wolves does NOT materialize, waiting for you to get out of the car to take a pee so they can eat you.

I think the western U.S. has a lot more room for these critters, though. One rule of a high-level predator is that it needs a lot of room to roam, and since I'm too lazy to check out the statistics on Scotland, I don't know if there's room to have animals like these around.

This attitude so many people have of 'well, if there's going to be predators out there, I'm going to be packing!' is farking retarded. I've been wandering around the mountains for 20 years, never been threatened by anything (except people), and never felt like I needed a gun. If you're so intimidated by the big scary wild animals, you know what--stay home and play Cabela's hunter games. The woods is not going to miss you.


The wolves haven't attacked anyone in the US yet, but there is one confirmed kill in Canada.

 
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