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(Some Girl) Cool Two 21 year old women grab their bicycles and camera and take a 2,500 mile trip around the United States. In 1944. But I'm sure your summer playing with your Wii was as tough and rewarding   (mjgradziel.com) divider line 195
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staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:28:52 AM  
So much for the theory that people were better authors back then.
Stuff like: "Oh, tell them we are just 'bums on the plush,'" Doris replied. "If we need any trail stake they can help us out."
practically forces me to pretend this is all slang or code for something else.
It's like that oysters and snails scene from Ben-Hur, but with a lot more Hur.

 
TheOther [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:35:16 AM  
I guess enlisting and service was no longer fashionable. The war was soooooo 1942 by then.

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:35:34 AM  
staplermofo: So much for the theory that people were better authors back then.
Stuff like: "Oh, tell them we are just 'bums on the plush,'" Doris replied. "If we need any trail stake they can help us out."
practically forces me to pretend this is all slang or code for something else.
It's like that oysters and snails scene from Ben-Hur, but with a lot more Hur.


It always comes down to seafood for you, doesn't it?

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:44:28 AM  
LaChanz: It always comes down to seafood for you, doesn't it?

Ok, you're right, the movie was Spartacus, not Ben-Hur. You don't need to be such a jerk about it.

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:47:55 AM  
staplermofo: LaChanz: It always comes down to seafood for you, doesn't it?

Ok, you're right, the movie was Spartacus, not Ben-Hur. You don't need to be such a jerk about it.

I
am Spartacus.

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:48:05 AM  
"Well, look what we've got here!" He exclaimed. "You look like health poster girls! YWCA? Sure, that'll be easy to find." His hearty voice boomed out directions, and his hands gestured the turns and number of blocks. We thanked his grace and took our leave to the city "Y".
* * *
June 28, 1944
The comfort of white sheets and springs kept us in bed


COME ON! WHERE IS THE PORN!? WHAT IS THIS CRAP!?

 
AeroSquid [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:54:50 AM  
COME ON! WHERE IS THE PORN!? WHAT IS THIS CRAP!?

C'mon ! These were wholesome young girls with traditional morals. Any mention of their wild sexual adventures with fishmongers, zoot-suited draft dodgers and soldiers home on leave were carefully omitted for general consumption.

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 08:55:15 AM  
Returning, he handed Doris a bottle of pink fluid.

"Thank you Dr. Fong. I hope it is the cure."


THIS IS RIDICULOUS! There's no porn anyway! Not even a shower scene. They go elbow deep in a tub of water and that's as good as it gets!
I'm calling my 8th grade teacher to let her know how disappointed I am with learning to read. Books aren't like tv at all!

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:00:58 AM  
AeroSquid: C'mon ! These were wholesome young girls with traditional morals. Any mention of their wild sexual adventures with fishmongers, zoot-suited draft dodgers and soldiers home on leave were carefully omitted for general consumption.

But they keep teasing us!
With stuff like this:
"A buxom girl sitting on a counter in the back of the room was watching another buxom girl pounding a "
NO, NOT ANOTHER GIRL! NOT EVEN A STAPLER! IT WAS A MOFOING TYPEWRITER! WTF!? WHY DOES SHE EVEN BRING UP THAT THEY WERE BUXOM!? IT'S INSANITY!

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:05:16 AM  
staplermofo

If it makes you feel better, you can make up your own stories about how they got those long rides in trucks.

The cultural difference between there and then and here and now is amazing. People were kind to strangers. (Here for me is Boston area, by reputation not the nicest part of the country.)

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:07:49 AM  
ZAZ: People were kind to strangers.

Why did she say they were buxom, why?
I'm starting to think this thing is fake.

 
skinink 2008-12-28 09:09:51 AM  
Well if my employer would give me a paid summer opff then I'd go have an adventure myself. And yes, playing with my Wii has made it tough, and it is rewarding.

 
schattenteufel [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:10:17 AM  
Oh yeah? I'd like to see them do it again now.
Not so hot now that you're 85, are ya, ladies?

 
AeroSquid [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:15:15 AM  
Omitted: "The farmer said his boy was a lackwit and therefore did not earn the the attention of the buxom soda-jerk girls. This saddened us. The next morning the boy was all smiles and sunshine. Then we rode our bikes to he next farm."

 
wild9 2008-12-28 09:16:30 AM  
I would totally boink the one on the left.

/boink
//boink

 
hamiltonjdavid [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:16:41 AM  
Ugh.

Those two are uglier than a hatfull of assholes.

 
PunGent 2008-12-28 09:17:11 AM  
"I guess enlisting and service was no longer fashionable. The war was soooooo 1942 by then."

Yes, working dawn to dusk in a nursery full of armament worker's toddlers is completely relaxing...

 
Hester Prynne 2008-12-28 09:17:52 AM  
"Can I leave out those rubbers Mother said to take?"

At least the Mom had their safety in mind. Leave it to them to throw caution to the wind!

 
Wonko Fortytwo 2008-12-28 09:18:46 AM  
Can't open link behind the Golden Wall of Great Protection here in Nanjing.



\Leaving 14 Jan

 
AeroSquid [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:18:50 AM  
Those two are uglier than a hatfull of assholes. Bad photography and topical birth control powder.

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2008-12-28 09:28:36 AM  
staplermofo: So much for the theory that people were better authors back then.
Stuff like: "Oh, tell them we are just 'bums on the plush,'" Doris replied. "If we need any trail stake they can help us out."
practically forces me to pretend this is all slang or code for something else.
It's like that oysters and snails scene from Ben-Hur, but with a lot more Hur.


Know how we can tell you're gay?

 
mdbuff12 2008-12-28 09:29:33 AM  
Suck it subby, I broke 230 in bowling last night, and I had a beer in my other hand the entire time.

 
kenposan 2008-12-28 09:29:51 AM  
They never had to deal wii knee. but they did have to ride bicycles in skirts, which I would think is someone difficult?

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2008-12-28 09:30:48 AM  
staplermofo: "Well, look what we've got here!" He exclaimed. "You look like health poster girls! YWCA? Sure, that'll be easy to find." His hearty voice boomed out directions, and his hands gestured the turns and number of blocks. We thanked his grace and took our leave to the city "Y".
* * *
June 28, 1944
The comfort of white sheets and springs kept us in bed

COME ON! WHERE IS THE PORN!? WHAT IS THIS CRAP!?


Pr0n was a lot more subtle then, with a 'plot' and everything. You need to read between the lines. But seriously, haven't you ever "been to Baltimore"? Sheesh

 
towatchoverme 2008-12-28 09:31:06 AM  
Wonko Fortytwo: Can't open link behind the Golden Wall of Great Protection here in Nanjing.

\Leaving 14 Jan


It's open, you just can't read on account of the smog.
\Got back earlier this month

 
simusid 2008-12-28 09:33:05 AM  
What I learned is that in the 40's, 21 year old girls ate prunes...

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2008-12-28 09:33:24 AM  
hamiltonjdavid: Ugh.

Those two are uglier than a hatfull of assholes.


Is it the sharp knees that put you off?

 
Johnny Swank 2008-12-28 09:34:35 AM  
Man, I think that was pretty badass myself. Crappy road conditions (hell, how much was even paved?), HEAVY bikes and gear, and just general badassary all around. I tip my drink to you two ladies.

I've thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail and paddled the Mississippi River, and I'm telling you, nothing beats a long trip like that to get your shiat in gear.

/www.sourcetosea.net (new window)

 
bigpeeler [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:35:53 AM  
This thread reeks of morons.

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:36:00 AM  
Sylvia_Bandersnatch: Know how we can tell you're gay?

Please tell me. Finding out if I am would make life so much easier.

 
soze [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:38:01 AM  
kenposan: They never had to deal wii knee. but they did have to ride bicycles in skirts, which I would think is someone difficult?

Nope.

I would put the difficulty of riding a bicycle in a skirt below both Starfox 64 and Super Star Wars, and above Wii Paper Mario or drunken Rabbids.

 
magicalOne 2008-12-28 09:38:10 AM  
I live in the Fredonia area, mentioned in the first leg of their trip. I've never heard of this. It's wonderful.

hardcore!

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:39:51 AM  
Most major roads in the East were paved before WW2. Roads paved in the 1920s might have only two ten foot concrete lanes. I don't know if the modern standard for rural two lane roads, twelve foot lanes and wide shoulders, came in the 1930s or 1950s.

 
Tyee 2008-12-28 09:41:17 AM  
Cool.

 
Malinki 2008-12-28 09:43:25 AM  
Wonko Fortytwo: Can't open link behind the Golden Wall of Great Protection here in Nanjing.

i204.photobucket.com

 
black_knight 2008-12-28 09:44:00 AM  
No onions tied to belts?

 
whatabrotherknow 2008-12-28 09:48:23 AM  
Sal Paradise & Dean Moriarty are not impressed.

 
rumpelstiltskin 2008-12-28 09:48:31 AM  
A "trip around the United States"?
Submitter must work for ESPN.

 
DrSandyBeech [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:49:14 AM  
AeroSquid: Omitted: "The farmer said his boy was a lackwit and therefore did not earn the the attention of the buxom soda-jerk girls. This saddened us. The next morning the boy was all smiles and sunshine. Then we rode our bikes to he next farm."

As we approached, the avenue to the main house was long. The boy suddenly appeared over the crest of the hill dressed in a red leather tutu ans stiletto heels. We contained our laugh until we could no longer. Felicia burst out with a hard roar as the boy stopped between us. "Guffaw all you want, you miserable biatches, I will have the last laugh." He then rode up the long road to the mysterious house faintly visible over a grassy hill.

The two gilrs were amused by the reprimand the boy had laid upon them. Voluptua said " Lets follow that queer and show him some good stuff." Vaginosa responded with a sneer "I will enjoy stomping his little butt to pieces!"

They mounted their bikes and rode hard after the boy. Curiously, after peddaling for over 15 minutes, Voluptua and Vaginosa saw that the kid was nowhere in sight. All that was visible was the tall walls of the house on the hill. Where might he have gone? Surely he couldn't have gone too far in the short time he had left them.

Voluptua was looking around, trying to capture a glance of the boy. Vaginosa, pissed that she had missed him said "How the hell can such a scrawny lad side so far in such a short time?" Voluptua remarked "It is impossible! We should ask at the house about him, just in case he went there."

As the two women approached the house, the weather began to deteriorate. The wind swooshed and picked up, thunder cracked over the horizon. Voluptua got to the door and used the brass knocker to summon someone who could help them. The door slowly creeked open sending shivers down Vaginosa's spine. The sound was exactly as she remembered from the hinges on her mothers chastity belt.

A shadow appeared at the door. Upon better inspection, the women could see that it was a nun at the door. "How may we be of service?" said the nun in a gravely voice, raspy from smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. "We were following a boy through the road" remarked Voluptua, a feeling of dread dripping through her body at the sight of the specter in the yellow and white dresses. The nun looked at them suspiciously and said "I am Sister Gouda, we did open our doors to the strange boy. He is in the priory with Sister Brie and Mother Superior Havarti." Sister Gouda opened the door and......

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2008-12-28 09:50:36 AM  
::sigh:: Sunday morning Farkers. No coffee yet, boys?

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:51:01 AM  
DrSandyBeech: The sound was exactly as she remembered from the hinges on her mothers chastity belt.

That line made me laugh.

 
wsommerv 2008-12-28 09:53:26 AM  
TheOther: I guess enlisting and service was no longer fashionable. The war was soooooo 1942 by then.

Considering most yanks showed up late for that one, I'm going to cut them some slack.

 
Coronach 2008-12-28 09:53:28 AM  
Wow. I used to live with a girl of this sort. She was great.

/but she had a truck
/and a habit

 
Cthulhain 2008-12-28 09:53:48 AM  
Interesting stuff, though it would be a pain to sit and read the whole thing at my desk. Bookmarked for future consumption.

 
Amigajoe [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 09:56:08 AM  
-That was really an amazing tale. What cool story. What a different time and country it was! (except for Baltimore)
Is the uber-cynical, shallow, glib 'FARK' attitude really the best
response here? I tell myself it's mostly pose and you guys aren't really that brain/soul-dead, but sometimes I wonder...

 
CowboyUpCowgirlDown 2008-12-28 09:57:14 AM  
I would have pinned them on the wall like Bettie Page, licked them like S&H Stamps, and then rented their asses to GIs in a hospitality tent.

That would have given them something better to do.

 
A Drunken Clam 2008-12-28 09:58:46 AM  
Hong Kong links loud and clear.

Colour me disappointed, no porn :(.

Disappointment is apparently somewhat sepia toned.

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:03:18 AM  
Are you trying to tell me that two young women, in that day and age, could simply grab their bikes, some camping gear and a few buck and traipse all over hell's half acre? Of their own free will?

Surely they were chained to a stove and pregnant or oppressed by all the men they met.

Kinda makes magazines full of lipstick ads and whining about leaving the toilet seat up seem silly, dunnit? : )

 
i8dbbq 2008-12-28 10:03:50 AM  
I thought it was a good story. What an adventure!

 
40yoVirgin [TotalFark] 2008-12-28 10:07:17 AM  
I am dying to hear more DrSandyBeech, please continue!

 
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