If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(HelenaIR.com) Scary 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house / My roommate was stirring up sh*t like a louse / When, what in my rupturing eye should appear / But a sharp paring knife bringing holiday cheer   (helenair.com) divider line 17
More: Scary  

17 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
monsieurstabby [TotalFark] 2008-12-27 04:55:38 PM  
When did "above the eye" and "in the eye" become the same thing? I was wondering why the hell the victim refused medical treatment until I realized the author was just an idiot.

 
MsInterpreted 2008-12-27 05:11:00 PM  
I was hoping this was the pineapple story...

 
eff ewe 2008-12-27 05:56:20 PM  
Hey, subby (and would be subbies)... Xmas is over. Move on.

 
skinink 2008-12-27 05:58:28 PM  

"Presley, who also was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of possession of dangerous drugs, is being held in the Lewis and Clark County Detention Center in lieu of $5,000 bond."


Everybody on whole cellbock was listening to his jailhouse crock.


 
zvoidx 2008-12-27 05:58:50 PM  
FTA: A Helena man is in jail after he allegedly stabbed his friend in the eye during a brawl on Christmas Eve.

Jonathan Presley, 33, faces a felony charge of assault with a weapon for the attack, according to Helena Police Chief Troy McGee.

I sure hope they do assaults on a bodily rating system. Like arm: a month, leg: 3 months, eye: 5 years, groin: 50.

 
The baby the cats THEN me 2008-12-27 06:00:09 PM  
eff ewe Quote 2008-12-27 05:56:20 PM
Hey, subby (and would be subbies)... Xmas is over. Move on.

Hey eff ewe... Get over it. It was funny. That's what we get for calling it "The Holiday Season" instead of just "Christmas".

The way I see it, we have until the end of Kwanzaa to make "holiday" themed jokes. Maybe even Chinese New Year.

/Funny stuff submitter

 
emnar 2008-12-27 06:06:06 PM  
Haha, subby nailed the meter in that headline perfectly. Way better than most attempts on here.

 
eff ewe 2008-12-27 06:11:37 PM  
The baby the cats THEN me: eff ewe Quote 2008-12-27 05:56:20 PM
Hey, subby (and would be subbies)... Xmas is over. Move on.

Hey eff ewe... Get over it. It was funny. That's what we get for calling it "The Holiday Season" instead of just "Christmas".

The way I see it, we have until the end of Kwanzaa to make "holiday" themed jokes. Maybe even Chinese New Year.


I'll get right on those Thanksgiving submissions.

/to start, why don't you gobble gobble goble this?

 
mavrickatubc 2008-12-27 06:31:20 PM  
I enjoyed this headline greatly and send it my Festivus greetings.

/still have not been pinned yet.

 
doobiebrother 2008-12-27 06:49:02 PM  
"dangerous drugs" ????
350 aspirin?
crushed and dried belladonna?
rum?
gulf war vaccine?
republikan kool-aid?

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-12-27 06:58:33 PM  
Time to go to Helena handbasket...

 
mrEdude 2008-12-27 07:39:15 PM  
haha i came here to apparently echo doobierother...

dangerous drugs?
what? Vioxx?

 
mynameist 2008-12-27 08:38:22 PM  
that's a stabbin

 
Gridlock 2008-12-27 09:17:28 PM  
Sweet, so when does the eye-stabbed roommate get Mutant Powers of telekinesis and a wristband-sized time travel device?

img139.imageshack.us

What? It doesn't work that way?

// Squishes radioactive spider that just bit me and now rushes off to the hospital Emergency Room.

 
RubHerDuck 2008-12-27 11:42:34 PM  
I love the last part of the url:

http://www.helenair.com/articles/2008/12/27/top/80lo_081227_eyestab.txt

 
COMALite J 2008-12-28 12:42:07 AM  
eff ewe: Hey, subby (and would be subbies)... Xmas is over. Move on.

Technically, Xmas lasts through January 5th. The Twelve Days and all that.

 
Gridlock 2008-12-28 01:28:34 AM  
COMALite J: Technically, Xmas lasts through January 5th. The Twelve Days and all that.

I thought Christmas was only one day.

Now you're saying it is TWELVE DAYS?

// And I thought Hanukkah was overly drawn out.

 
Displayed 17 of 17 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

[Continue Farking]