"the financial system is in utter chaos. At one point a teenage girl in Worcester, Mass., attempts to withdraw $25 from an ATM and winds up acquiring Wells Fargo."

Funny Stuff

That was a good one, including the political coverage.

For those of you (that would be ALL of you) who would like to read this link on ONE page, click here^

Once I did that, I LOLed.

Very funny summary of a bizarre and depressing year.

Too bad there is a flash ad that covers the whole article when I loaded it, and won't go away even after I hit 'close'...ugh

/rage
//*refresh*

Ennuipoet: For those of you (that would be ALL of you) who would like to read this link on ONE page, click here^

Once I did that, I LOLed.

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.

I luvs me some Dave Barry.

Uninspired, generic comdey. Perfect for Farkers.

Ninja Wicked: Ennuipoet: For those of you (that would be ALL of you) who would like to read this link on ONE page, click here^

Once I did that, I LOLed.

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.

Yeah, no joke....awfully decent of you. Thanks!

/This IS fark, right??

Comedy. Sorry.

beaudanker: Uninspired, generic comdey. Perfect for Farkers.

sneer (snîr)
n.
1. A scornful facial expression characterized by a slight raising of one corner of the upper lip.
2. A contemptuous facial expression, sound, or statement.
v. sneered, sneer·ing, sneers
v.tr.
To utter with a sneer or in a sneering manner.
v.intr.
1. To assume a scornful, contemptuous, or derisive facial expression.
2. To speak in a scornful, contemptuous, or derisive manner.

see: beaudanker
see also: Dictionary, use it mutherfarker

Too many *gasp* clicks....arghhhh, sploot, spoof, spew.

I NEVER VOTED FOR ANYBODY111111111111111111.

/Not my fault bro.
//We cool?

I almost smiled a few times during that piece, and actually said "heh" once or twice. Not at the same time, though. Twas mildly amusing. The OJ references were . . . present.

Funny stuff, good to see that the great state of IL is well represented!

Meh.

"Meanwhile John McCain, at a strategy session at a golf resort, tells his top aides to prepare a list of potential running mates, stressing that he wants somebody 'who is completely, brutally honest.' Unfortunately, because of noise from a lawn mower, the aides think McCain said he wants somebody 'who has competed in a beauty contest.' This will lead to trouble down the road."

"Meanwhile John McCain, still searching for the perfect running mate, tells his top aides in a conference call that he wants 'someone who is capable of filling my shoes.' Unfortunately, he is speaking into the wrong end of his cellular phone, and his aides think he said 'someone who is capable of killing a moose.'"

This honestly made me laugh - I can ALMOST see it happening...

johnny_vegas: beaudanker: Uninspired, generic comdey. Perfect for Farkers.

sneer (snîr)
n.
1. A scornful facial expression characterized by a slight raising of one corner of the upper lip.
2. A contemptuous facial expression, sound, or statement.
v. sneered, sneer·ing, sneers
v.tr.
To utter with a sneer or in a sneering manner.
v.intr.
1. To assume a scornful, contemptuous, or derisive facial expression.
2. To speak in a scornful, contemptuous, or derisive manner.

see: beaudanker
see also: Dictionary, use it mutherfarker

Wow! My first success at trolling. Thanks!

Dave Barry is funny. Read it out loud. That is AT LEAST excellent stand-up. While being completely family friendly.

That is funny comedy writing, anyone who says otherwise is hating for the sake of hating. These people should either write something as funny, or shut their pie-holes.

/Dave Barry was a favorite of mine as a young child (7-12) even though I didn't get it. His history of the United States is hilarious.

The United States, the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Russia and China convene an emergency meeting, during which they manage, in heated negotiations, to talk France out of surrendering.

Come on Dave, we know you're hiding here on Fark somewhere.

I actually laughed my ass off while reading that, but mostly because of Fannie and Freddie starting a Herbalife franchise. After that I just had the giggles.

Well done DB

/Grandma used to try to get me to sell that shiat with her. I wonder how much of her money they took.

I injured myself laughing...

a12b40: "the financial system is in utter chaos. At one point a teenage girl in Worcester, Mass., attempts to withdraw $25 from an ATM and winds up acquiring Wells Fargo."

Funny Stuff

The irony of that is that Wells Fargo is the most stable bank this country has thanks to not getting caught up in the sub prime mess.

/with the possible exception of US Bank

Hmm, I thought this article was funnier in its first incarnation as the 1974 Year in Review.

the fourth Indiana Jones movie, Indiana Jones Experiences Frequent Nighttime Urination.

Got a good chuckle out of me

CornFedIowan: The United States, the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Russia and China convene an emergency meeting, during which they manage, in heated negotiations, to talk France out of surrendering.

Come on Dave, we know you're hiding here on Fark somewhere.

Actually, I'm traveling.

I've always found Dave Barry hilarious, and this is no exception

See, Jim Caple? This is how you write an amusing year in review.

"The economic news is also gloomy for the U.S. automotive industry, where General Motors, in a legally questionable move aimed at boosting its sagging car sales, comes out with a new model called ``The Chevrolet Toyota.' "

Haha, laughed out loud at that one.

This piece was funny. I got several chuckles from it. I also like his Christmas Gift Round-up. I look forward to those every year.

I sure miss his weekly column, though. I can't remember laughing as hard as I did (at something in print) when he described the antics of his dogs.

/Earnest.

Lar Jorgen: This piece was funny. I got several chuckles from it. I also like his Christmas Gift Round-up. I look forward to those every year.

I sure miss his weekly column, though. I can't remember laughing as hard as I did (at something in print) when he described the antics of his dogs.

/Earnest.

Don't forget the small auxiliary dog Zippy.

DKinMN: His history of the United States is hilarious.

My favorite will always be Dave Barry Does Japan.

"Abroad, Fidel Castro steps down after 49 years as president of Cuba, explaining that he wants to spend more time decomposing. In selecting his successor, the Cuban National Assembly, after conducting an exhaustive nationwide search, selects Fidel's brother, Raúl, who narrowly edges out Dennis Kucinich."


Show me something written by another comedy writer this week that's funnier than that paragraph.

susannah_mio:

Don't forget the small auxiliary dog Zippy.

I did forget about Zippy! Thanks for the reminder!

"Tactical Field Burrito" will always be my favorite Dave Barry phrase.

dstanley: "Tactical Field Burrito" will always be my favorite Dave Barry phrase.

HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF!

Lar Jorgen: susannah_mio:

Don't forget the small auxiliary dog Zippy.

I did forget about Zippy! Thanks for the reminder!

You're welcome.

susannah_mio: You're welcome.

Pffpt, YOU! :-P

My favorite line:

Congress, responding to the financial pain of the American people, goes into partisan gridlock faster than ever before, with Republicans demanding that the oil companies immediately start drilling everywhere, including cemeteries, and Democrats calling for a massive effort to develop alternative energy sources such as wind, the sun, tides, comets, Al Gore and dragon breath, using technology expected to be perfected sometime this millennium.

Dave Barry is the shizzle.

\Also loved "Does Japan"
\\"Corn on pizza?!?!"
\\\Brazilians are on the bus!

FEBRUARY
. . . when, amid much fanfare, Congress passes, and President Bush signs, an 'economic stimulus package' under which the federal government will give taxpayers back several hundred dollars apiece of their own money, the idea being that they will use this money to revive the U.S. economy by buying TV sets that were made in China. This will seem much more comical in the fall.

my favorite line.

susannah_mio: Lar Jorgen: susannah_mio:

Don't forget the small auxiliary dog Zippy.

I did forget about Zippy! Thanks for the reminder!

You're welcome.

I had a large, main dog (Mason) and a smaller, auxiliary dog (Sampson) so I don't know why I forgot it.

wow, i gotta say, this year in review is surprisingly... accurate

On the Democratic side, the surprise winner is Barack Obama, who is running for president on a long and impressive record of running for president. A mesmerizing speaker, Obama electrifies voters with his exciting new ideas for change, although people have trouble remembering exactly what these ideas were because they were so darned mesmerized. Some people become so excited that they actually pass out. These are members of the press corps.

In politics, Barack Obama addresses the issue of why, in his 20 years of membership in Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, he failed to notice that the pastor, Jeremiah Wright, is a racist lunatic. In a major televised address widely hailed for its brilliance, Obama explains that . . . OK, nobody really remembers what the actual explanation was. But everybody agrees it was mesmerizing.

. . . tensions run high in the Pennsylvania Democratic primary, which all the experts agree is extremely crucial. Barack Obama gets into trouble with rural voters for saying that rural Americans are 'bitter' and 'cling to guns or religion.' Responding to charges that this statement is elitist, Obama responds: ``You are getting sleepy. Very sleepy.'

. . . Barack Obama, having secured North and South America, flies to Germany without using an airplane and gives a major speech -- speaking English and German simultaneously -- to 200,000 mesmerized Germans, who immediately elect him chancellor, prompting France to surrender.

. . Barack Obama, continuing to shake up the establishment, selects as his running mate Joe Biden, a tireless fighter for change since he was first elected to the U.S. Senate in 1849. The Democratic Party gathers in Denver to formally nominate Obama, who descends from his Fortress of Solitude to mesmerize the adoring crowd with an acceptance speech objectively described by The New York Times as ``comparable to the Gettysburg Address, only way better.'

Obama, ahead of McCain by double digits in the polls and several hundred million dollars in money, skips the debates so he can work on his inaugural address. The New York Times declares his performance ``masterful.'

. . . Barack Obama, in a historic triumph, becomes the nation's first black president since the second season of 24, setting off an ecstatically joyful and boisterous all-night celebration that at times threatens to spill out of The New York Times newsroom

wow, i gotta say, this year in review is surprisingly... accurate

At first I thought; "dude's dead"...then remembered, Lewis Grizzard, the Ultimate Philosopher, recently deceased.



Miss Lewis!


.

Right on Mr. Barry. [The truthful, honest Barry.]

neonfish07: Too bad there is a flash ad that covers the whole article when I loaded it, and won't go away even after I hit 'close'...ugh

/rage
//*refresh*

Y'know, I didn't want to install AdBlock Plus, but things like this didn't leave me much of an option. "Oh, that was an untrustworthy ad partner" is a crappy excuse, when it happens on YOUR site.

Internationally, the big story is the Olympic games, which begin under a cloud of controversy when journalists in Beijing, who were promised unfettered Internet access by the Chinese government, discover that no matter what address they enter into their browsers, they wind up on Chairman Mao's Facebook page (he has 1.3 billion friends)

Best line of the bunch for me, along with the aforementioned teenage girl acquiring Wells Fargo.

thebigmike1983: susannah_mio: You're welcome.

Pffpt, YOU! :-P

You know you lurve me. ;)

FARK_the_poor!:
wow, i gotta say, this year in review is surprisingly... accurate

did you quote me or something?

I keep meaning to ask, how is this guy still so funny? I mean, hasn't he been doing this non-stop since the Carter Administration or something?

Yes Brew; the timing was just right.

Maybe someone else will do the McCain bits; I think the veep search quotes are entirely TOO accurate!