It's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throat Warbler Mangrove".

There's nothing funnier than mediocre people doing useless things in a vain attempt to "separate themselves from the herd".

/wanna see my new tat?

I'm not surprised. I knew a guy in the UK who changed his name when he got married. He took her surname because he was in a long running fight with his Dad and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, in some cases it's forgiven. Seriously, who names their kids Dakota London?.

I don't know how easy it is to change your name here in the US but when I was 19 and living in England I changed my last name to my mother's last name (she'd died when I was a kid). It was extremely easy and needed me to do nothing more than write to everyone I knew and everyone I did business with, informing them of my name change.

Why not take it one further? I know someone in England who got ACAB (stands for all coppers are bastards) inked across his forehead

My wife used to be a teacher, and there was little funnier than the things parents named their kids. Examples I have witnessed from her classes are:

> Lear family that named their daughter Shanda

> Bacon family that named their son Egon

> Barr family, daughter named Candy, son named Steele

> Back family, son named Stan

> Kart family, son named Orson

> Green family, son named Winson (mother gave birth while father was in prison named Winson Green)

> Conquest family, father named Norman

> In the just plain awful department, a little boy named Murcott Bullpit who had flaming red hair. Black-haired mother had five different children by five different fathers. When asked if Murcott's father had red hair, her reply was, "I don't know - he didn't take his hat off."

/all true

my mother had a student in her class named "Fallopia" i shiat you not.

"The ability to apply to change one's name from a computer or mobile phone at any time appears to have contributed, indirectly, to some of the more exotic name changes, despite the £33 charge."

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

If I ever have children, and they're either twins or two boys, I'll name them Caine and Abel, see how that turns out.

/Not really
//Children's names shouldn't be like giving names to pets
///It might be hilarious to you, but you might ruin the kid's life
////The name must have some meaning

For you non-UK Farkers, spanner = wrench.

I work for a printing company. We've collected hundreds of business cards with WTF names. South Carolina government employees are the worst.

/Only one off the top of my head is "Handsome Major"

I went to school with 4 Dank Funguspunchers, 3 Dildo Amaretta Fbbbbtts and a Growing Bulbous Pus Factory, III.

Well, you'd better cut down a little then.

Listen, it's really quite simple. I take "Lord Bravery," she becomes "Helen's Bake Shop," Helen's Butcher Shop becomes "Rudy's Butcher Shop" because Rudy's Hardware and Twine changes to "Hank's Hardware and Twine," and Hank's Tires becomes "Terry's Tires," and Terry's Intimate Apparel changes to "Wendy's Intimate Apparel," requiring Wendy's to change to "Johnny's," Johnny's to "Ellen's," Ellen's to "Frank's," Frank's becomes "Enrique's," and Enrique's becomes "Bill's," which meeaaaans all you have to do is change your name from Bill's World of Paint to something else.
/Never fear, Lord Smoked Meats and Fishes has arrived! (pops)

Probably someone with a Death Note around, so they're just trying to protect themselves.

"I don't know how easy it is to change your name here in the US but when I was 19 and living in England I changed my last name to my mother's last name (she'd died when I was a kid)."

I changed my last name a few years ago in an attempt to correct the terribly mangled spelling that occurred when my great grandfather passed through Ellis Island. Grammatically it involved adding a few vowels and shuffling the consonants, legally it involved quite a lot of work. I had to write petitions, provide documented research (ship logs), and then when all that was done I had to go to court to have a judge approve the matter. And that doesn't even begin to address changing bank accounts, credit cards, utility bills and (most difficult of all) PayPal.

From start to finish my little whim took just over 90 days and several hundred dollars to complete. Needless to say I probably should have just hired a lawyer like everyone recommended.

/Of course lawyers were constantly asking me for advice throughout this process.
//They didn't know much more than I did. They just got paid better.

When I was teaching I had a female student with the first name of Titaporn. Honestly the worst name EVAR!

I encountered a guy named Wu Tan Chan once. Best name ever.

fredcat: I don't know how easy it is to change your name here in the US but when I was 19 and living in England I changed my last name to my mother's last name (she'd died when I was a kid). It was extremely easy and needed me to do nothing more than write to everyone I knew and everyone I did business with, informing them of my name change.

it varies, per the 10th amendment (the one that says the federal government cant do anything it wants that the states have more powers than they do) its a state right. Some states like california you can do this at the DMV when you apply for an ID card or drivers license just use any name you want. Its a common law name change state so if you use only the new name for 7 years its legally changed, or you can goto a judge. Some states require that you goto a judge, but usually the requests are not turned down so long as the change is not for fraudulent means.

My wife used to be a teacher, and there was little funnier than the things parents named their kids. Examples I have witnessed from her classes are:

> Notreal family that named their daughter Mynameis

> Bullshiat family that named their son Thisis

> Seriously family, daughter named Notreal, son named No

> In the just plain awful department, a little boy named Farkoff who had flaming red hair. Black-haired mother had five different children by five different fathers. When asked if Farkoff's father had red hair, her reply was, "I don't know - he didn't take his hat off."

/all true

All members of the Silly Party of course. Walrus-Titty

Election Night

If you're calling me a liar, Satan_Himself, just come right out and do it so everyone can see what a coont you are for accusing someone you don't know. If you're trying to be ironic or funny, you FAIL. Either way, go eat a bowl of flaming dicks.

I tried to name my daughter Godiwishyourmotherwasbetterlooking, but my wife refused.

ElPresidente: If you're calling me a liar, Satan_Himself, just come right out and do it so everyone can see what a coont you are for accusing someone you don't know. If you're trying to be ironic or funny, you FAIL. Either way, go eat a bowl of flaming dicks.

Oh come on. You're obviously full of shiat.

Yeah, no one speaks Mexican and British. Mexico is in America. You're like 5 race grades from even being able to acknowledge they exist.

Aw, I thought Satan_Himself was at least mildly funny.

/I worship Satan though.

Somebody should name their daughter "Fra-gi-le."

It's Italian..!

Hey! Fraegeelee!

You know, I'm so broke right now that if someone offered me a truckload of cash to change my name to "Grandma's Unsulphured Molasses" or whatever I would do it.

It's not like my name matters or anything. My friends would still call me Food-Eater.

There is an artist in Juneau, Alaska, who goes by the name "Cha" (short for Charmiane or...some variation of that spelling), and she wanted to be listed that way in the phone book, with just ONE name, like "Cher" or "Madonna."

But the phone company would not comply, stating that they were required by law to list two names for people -- a first name and a separate last name. Personally, in her shoes, I'd have gone for Cha Cha. But no, nothing that cute or mundane would do for this artiste!

You see, her last name is a registered trademark. So her solution, in the end, was to legally change her last name from the apparently far-too-ordinary Johnson to "Rnacircle."

Srsly. Look it up. Very, very goofy.

food_eater: if someone offered me a truckload of cash to change my name

$5 if you fax me the court papers showing your name changed to "staplermofo's Biatch."
The S in staplermofo has to be lowercase, and it has to be in bold.

Farked-up names anyone?

+1 Subby

boombaladee Quote 2008-12-27 11:38:01 AM
my mother had a student in her class named "Fallopia" i shiat you no

So basically, what I'm hearing is that a lot of you have 0 imagination, and cling to tradition.

Names are arbitrary-- why should a bunch of Northern Europeans adopt the name from a collection of fairy tales written by a bunch of psychotic herdsmen from the Middle East?

Daniel-- WTF kind of name is that? Or Benjamin, for Christ's sake? Ruth? Samuel? Aaron? Ezekiel? WTF kinds of names are that?

What you're saying is that it's OK if a bunch of people do it, but don't differentiate yourself! That's weak.

/it's all what you're used to
//nothing wrong with being provincial
///as long as you aren't a douche
////imho

fyrewede: There is an artist in Juneau, Alaska, who goes by the name "Cha" (short for Charmiane or...some variation of that spelling), and she wanted to be listed that way in the phone book, with just ONE name, like "Cher" or "Madonna."

But the phone company would not comply, stating that they were required by law to list two names for people -- a first name and a separate last name. Personally, in her shoes, I'd have gone for Cha Cha. But no, nothing that cute or mundane would do for this artiste!

You see, her last name is a registered trademark. So her solution, in the end, was to legally change her last name from the apparently far-too-ordinary Johnson to "Rnacircle."

Srsly. Look it up. Very, very goofy.



I think it's short for 'Chairface'

Gervaise Brook-Hampster approves

I can change my login to staplermofo's Biatch if you TOTAL*FARK me. Let me know how to go about it.

You're in Chicago too, I see. I could probably just walk the papers over and give them to you in person. Then you could just biatch slap me as a sort of "congratulations".

/One dollar per biatch slap.
//Really poor here. Spent all my $ on Xmas presents for 4ssholes who did not reciprocate.
///Thanks Mom and Dad.

in b4 Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel

food_eater: ///Thanks Mom and Dad.

Well, now I feel awful.

Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon approves.

I mean, F--- Censorship.

ElPresidente: It's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throat Warbler Mangrove".


I came here for this :)

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dingle -dangle -dongle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker - thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser - kurstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -ein -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mitz -weimache - auuber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker-kalbsfleisch -mittler -aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

Apeiron's 10 Commandments of Child Naming (new window)

1) Thou shalt not give thy child a first name that is a last name (Kennedy, McKenzie) or the name of a place (Dakota, Madison).
Exception - If the place was named after a person (Virginia, Georgia).

2) Thou shalt not make up a name. Pick an established non-stupid name. If want to give your child an "ethnic" name, PICK A NAME FROM THAT ETHNICITY. Don't make up something! You might think you're ever so clever or that you're "keepin' it real", but you're ensuring that your child will never be taken seriously (Orangello, DaShawn).

3) Thou shalt not give thy child a name containing any punctuation (N'Fume, Billy-Joe).

4) Thou shalt not give girls a boy name, even if you give it a cute spelling. When a boy's name is used for a girl, it is no longer usable for boys: Dana, Ashleigh, Tracy and Stacy were all male names, forever made a gay joke by parents trying to be cute.

5) Thou shalt not come up with a cute spelling of an established name (Brandi, Lacee), nor shall you add a syllable to an established name (LaShandra. LaJeff).

6) Boys names shall be one or two syllables, unless the name is usually shortened. Alexanders are usually called Alex. Girls names may be longer because they can handle learning more than one syllable at a time. If you name your child Alexis or Alexandra, don't call her Alex! Cute, yes, but traumatic for boys named Alex!

7) Thou shalt give thought to what names your child might be called based on their name, and also to what their initials will be. If you are naming a daughter, her last a initial might change.

8) Thou shalt do a search to see how popular a name is with other parents and then refrain from giving your child any of the names in the top ten. Unless you have a very cool last name.

9) Thou shalt not refer to thy child by their initials, no matter how cute you think it would be.

10) Thou shalt research names that strippers use as stage names and refrain from naming thy daughter such lest she become a stripper herself.

brewssuds: Oh come on. You're obviously full of shiat.

I've got a bowl full for you too, twunt.

staplermofo

Did you just sponsor me? That's the best present EVAR.

I tried to change my login, but it won't seem to let me, so how 'bout I just end all my posts with "staplermofo is my personal lord and savior. Love, staplermofo's Biatch" for a month?

staplermofo is my personal lord and savior. Love, staplermofo's Biatch

In my younger days doing telemarketing (incoming calls only - I had some pride even then), I spoke to a guy named Richard Harder. He said "I go by 'Dick'."

Came for Hitchhiker's references, leaving disappointed.

3825968: Came for Hitchhiker's references, leaving disappointed.

Hot Black Desiato

Do not give your boy a Girls name like Ashley, Stacey, Jamie, Kelley, Sue etc.

Your kid will get beaten on a daily basis and will not end up NORMAL. Your kid will either end up a homophobe or a homosexual. There is no possibility of a normal well adjusted life.

/homophobe named Ashley.