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(Salon) Hero Dying teen passes on trip to Bahamas, swimming with dolphins, pity sex from supermodels to get his only wish: establishing an orphanage in Nairobi   (salon.com) divider line 241
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staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 02:39:38 PM  
When I die I want all you to chip in for the "staplermofo memorial stapler museum and brothel", unless it's far enough into the future that "sexporium" doesn't sound hokey.
I'm leaving my entire estate to it, which should finance a pretty nice cardboard box for the staplers. I expect you guys to take care of the rest.

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 04:23:54 PM  
I have hypertensive brain damage, venous stasis and a host of doctors telling me I should be dead.
Feel free to donate money, buildings or legal help now. The staplermofo memorial stapler museum and brothel foundation thanks you.

 
Skail [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 05:02:13 PM  
Stupid kid. I'd be all about the pity sex from supermodels.

 
dettigersnw22 2008-12-21 05:59:49 PM  
Why?

 
DerPups 2008-12-21 06:00:16 PM  
what kind of supermodel?

 
pzippy 2008-12-21 06:02:14 PM  
staplermofo: When I die I want all you to chip in for the "staplermofo memorial stapler museum and brothel", unless it's far enough into the future that "sexporium" doesn't sound hokey.
I'm leaving my entire estate to it, which should finance a pretty nice cardboard box for the staplers. I expect you guys to take care of the rest.


I'm not sure why, but I found this hilarious. Quirky humor: I love it.

 
food_eater 2008-12-21 06:05:18 PM  
"Maybe the mission videos he'd seen at church planted the seed"

Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.

 
Quantum Apostrophe 2008-12-21 06:07:14 PM  

"and that is when my journey with God began.""


Oh for fark's sake, the same "god" that gave you a crap brain, and let thousands of people before MRIs suffer in ignorance?


 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2008-12-21 06:08:04 PM  
I'd have gone with pity sex from the dolphins.

 
starlost 2008-12-21 06:08:56 PM  
"excuse me..hello. hi. where is the orphanage?"

....down a rocky dirt road not far from the airport in Nairobi, Kenya. Her stomach turned from the stench of rotting garbage and raw sewage mingling with exhaust fumes and the acrid smoke from sizzling meat peddled by street vendors.

 
Midnight_Sun 2008-12-21 06:09:33 PM  
food_eater: Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.

Well doesn't that just make you as closed minded as the super-religious types you appear to detest?

 
BeSerious 2008-12-21 06:11:35 PM  
hehe I love to watch the athiests squirm! Look at them go! trying to rationalize moralistic behavior! OOh look at Quantum go he cant stop wriggling! Im no bible thumper but this 15 year old kid just made you all look pretty farking stupid.

 
DeRosso 2008-12-21 06:11:55 PM  
Midnight_Sun: food_eater: Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.

Well doesn't that just make you as closed minded as the super-religious types you appear to detest?


Being unwilling to subject one self to mental torture does not constitute close mindedness

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:12:39 PM  
pity sex from supermodels

Anyone who passes on that is a img1.fark.net

 
Cowkitchen2 2008-12-21 06:12:44 PM  
texastag: DerPups: what kind of supermodel?

That's a good question. Not all supermodels are hawt. Some are downright scary!


Please, please tell me that's a photoshop.

 
BoBoTheMonkeyBoy 2008-12-21 06:12:52 PM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I'd have gone with pity sex from the dolphins.

I'm lucky to get pity sex from myself.

 
toobsok 2008-12-21 06:12:54 PM  
Quantum Apostrophe: "and that is when my journey with God began.""


Oh for fark's sake, the same "god" that gave you a crap brain, and let thousands of people before MRIs suffer in ignorance?


Hey man, I'm not religious at all, but I don't hate on people who are. If it made him happier to have a god to look to, then all the power to him. It helped him focus on positive aspects and not negative ones. He helped people when he died.

How do you have a problem with this?

 
bugmn99 2008-12-21 06:13:00 PM  
food_eater: "Maybe the mission videos he'd seen at church planted the seed"

Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.


You sure showed that dead kid!

 
TheBigBadCrystallineEntity 2008-12-21 06:13:31 PM  
texastag: DerPups: what kind of supermodel?

That's a good question. Not all supermodels are hawt. Some are downright scary!


I usually see pictures like that from US solders liberating nazi concentration camps. Get that woman a samach!!!!

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:13:38 PM  
BeSerious: hehe I love to watch the athiests squirm! Look at them go! trying to rationalize moralistic behavior! OOh look at Quantum go he cant stop wriggling! Im no bible thumper but this 15 year old kid just made you all look pretty farking stupid.

Obvious Troll is obvious.

 
Selector 2008-12-21 06:13:46 PM  
BeSerious: hehe I love to watch the athiests squirm! Look at them go! trying to rationalize moralistic behavior! OOh look at Quantum go he cant stop wriggling! Im no bible thumper but this 15 year old kid just made you all look pretty farking stupid.

Way to not refute the point that Quantum Apostrophe makes at all, and instead go on a wharrgarble rant.

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:14:46 PM  
Cowkitchen2: texastag: DerPups: what kind of supermodel?

That's a good question. Not all supermodels are hawt. Some are downright scary!

Please, please tell me that's a photoshop.


It is. In the real picture she's not quite so chunky.

 
beoswulf 2008-12-21 06:14:53 PM  
He showed John's parents the thing in the boy's head, a black spot in the middle of the image of his skull. Joanie thought it looked like a little bomb had exploded in there.


Intelligent design!

"My mom came out 10 minutes later and gave me a big hug and kiss," John wrote later in a journal he started keeping. "I was stumped. What was wrong? My mom told me I had a tumor then, and that is when my journey with God began."

If God wanted an orphanage so bad couldn't he just send the kid a vision?

 
Midnight_Sun 2008-12-21 06:15:03 PM  
DeRosso: Midnight_Sun: food_eater: Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.

Well doesn't that just make you as closed minded as the super-religious types you appear to detest?

Being unwilling to subject one self to mental torture does not constitute close mindedness


Reading a story about a great kid who happened to believe in God is mental torture? Give me a farking break.

 
Selector 2008-12-21 06:15:33 PM  
toobsok: Quantum Apostrophe: "and that is when my journey with God began.""


Oh for fark's sake, the same "god" that gave you a crap brain, and let thousands of people before MRIs suffer in ignorance?

Hey man, I'm not religious at all, but I don't hate on people who are. If it made him happier to have a god to look to, then all the power to him. It helped him focus on positive aspects and not negative ones. He helped people when he died.

How do you have a problem with this?


"It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have got it."

- Edmund Way Teale

 
wildcardjack 2008-12-21 06:15:53 PM  
For my dying wish, I would like to be buried alongside my first wife. Even if you have to bury her kicking and screaming.

 
gamempire 2008-12-21 06:16:09 PM  
Touching story and all (we've built a school in Ghana)...but in this day and age people need to learn: God will not save you from your tumor. And faith healers be damned.

 
BiggusDickus 2008-12-21 06:17:43 PM  
However it came about, the kid set something good in motion. Good for him. Too bad most of us do nothing of the sort our entire lives.

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:18:19 PM  
Quantum Apostrophe: "and that is when my journey with God began.""
Oh for fark's sake, the same "god" that gave you a crap brain, and let thousands of people before MRIs suffer in ignorance?


Yeah! You tell him! High five!

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:19:02 PM  
That's a pretty amazing story and I'm a biatchoked up.

Also, this is a 15 year old who had a tumor in his brain, and chose to spend what little time he had left helping poor children he'll never meet. Those of you making this about how smart you are because you're an atheist or agnostic, and have, from the comfort of your mothers basement, reasoned things out that a 15 year old who was dying could not, are totally awesome. Pat yourselves on the back, you are the height of reason and logic. You totally schooled this dying child. Awesome.

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:19:08 PM  
gamempire: God will not save you from your tumor.

I just had a mental image of an old man with a beard and a white robe wielding a sword and shield doing battle with a tumor carrying a net and trident. And it was awesome.

Just thought you all should know.

 
Dumle 2008-12-21 06:19:26 PM  
TheBigBadCrystallineEntity: texastag: DerPups: what kind of supermodel?

That's a good question. Not all supermodels are hawt. Some are downright scary!

I usually see pictures like that from USRed Army solders liberating nazi concentration camps. Get that woman a samach!!!!


FTFY. But really, a finalist in Auschwitz' Top Model?

 
Greymalkin 2008-12-21 06:19:30 PM  
Oooh an orphanage in Nairobi, do we have a "pissing into the wind" tag?

Should have done the supermodels (assuming such a thing was really on offer), it would have been more likely to have lasting societal change and positive influence on the world.

 
wxgeek [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:19:34 PM  
toobsok: If it made him happier to have a god to look to, then all the power to him. It helped him focus on positive aspects and not negative ones. He helped people when he died.

How do you have a problem with this?


+1. Regardless of your feelings about Christianity, this kid took his fatal illness and used it to save people who would otherwise die.

I hope someday I have that much character.

Though I could do without the brain cancer.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:20:13 PM  
I Said: That's a pretty amazing story and I'm a biatchoked up.

I hate fark for the filters

wildcardjack: For my dying wish, I would like to be buried alongside my first wife. Even if you have to bury her kicking and screaming.

I love fark for the comments.

 
halfjack 2008-12-21 06:20:19 PM  
Guys, i'm as non-religious as they come, but I dont understand the hate going on here. This guy is the most hardcore mofo ive ever heard of, ffs! yes, he may have gotten the idea from a church, but as long as the orphanage isn't also a mission/conversion center, I don't see the problem here.

The kid has done the world a net good with his dying wish. I hope that i might be HALF as badass as this kid was.

 
Ringshadow 2008-12-21 06:20:25 PM  
Good for the kid, may he rest in peace, but really... I don't think this has anything to do with god. It would have been just as nice a deed without the churchy overtone in the article.

 
evajyna 2008-12-21 06:20:53 PM  
beoswulf: He showed John's parents the thing in the boy's head, a black spot in the middle of the image of his skull. Joanie thought it looked like a little bomb had exploded in there.


Intelligent design!

"My mom came out 10 minutes later and gave me a big hug and kiss," John wrote later in a journal he started keeping. "I was stumped. What was wrong? My mom told me I had a tumor then, and that is when my journey with God began."

If God wanted an orphanage so bad couldn't he just send the kid a vision?


God works in mysterious and prickish ways. Like how have the boy's mom cancer in the song Christmas Shoes just to teach the singer a lesson about the meaning of Christmas.

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:21:02 PM  
Selector: "It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have got it."

- Edmund Way Teale


Well, shiat. If EDMUND WAY TEALE said it, then I'm totally with you, now.

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:21:43 PM  
I Said: I Said: That's a pretty amazing story and I'm a biatchoked up.

I hate fark for the filters


I just thought you meant that this story made you want to choke a biatch.

 
food_eater 2008-12-21 06:21:52 PM  
Midnight_Sun
food_eater: Ugh. I'm sure he did a nice thing but I stopped reading after that.

Well doesn't that just make you as closed minded as the super-religious types you appear to detest?


1. Nice try.
2. Believing in God doesn't make you a "super-religious" type. Where did you get that idea? I'm afraid you read all sorts of hate into my comment that wasn't there.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:22:01 PM  
BeSerious: hehe I love to watch the athiests squirm! Look at them go! trying to rationalize moralistic behavior! OOh look at Quantum go he cant stop wriggling! Im no bible thumper but this 15 year old kid just made you all look pretty farking stupid.

Please don't think Quantum speaks for atheists, and we won't think Pat Robertson speaks for all religious folks.

 
thalidomide new and improved 2008-12-21 06:22:15 PM  
CAN WE...uh......get more details on the pity sex from supermodels?

 
Selector 2008-12-21 06:22:17 PM  
The issue that I (and probably other atheists) have with this is that now people will point to the situation as the epitome of the strong moral fiber that Christians have, when in reality it has nothing, really, to do with it. Sure, he was a hell of a kid who happened to believe in God, but not because he believed in God. If you can't be a good person without God, well, there was never much hope for you in the first place.

 
evajyna 2008-12-21 06:22:25 PM  
have = he gave. I need to lay off the nog.

 
edgar1981 2008-12-21 06:23:13 PM  
fair play to the kid, but surely IF there IS a 'god', that 'god' is responsible for all those africans starving to death. stop interfering with 'god's' work, kid.

 
Selector 2008-12-21 06:23:19 PM  
Relatively Obscure: Selector: "It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your money as long as you have got it."

- Edmund Way Teale

Well, shiat. If EDMUND WAY TEALE said it, then I'm totally with you, now.


Got a legitimate criticism, instead of puerile whining??

 
savedbymonkeys [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:23:34 PM  
Interesting choice for a teenager - nothing for himself but a wish for kids he would never meet. Very unselfish - now that's different in this day when everyone is out for themselves first. Good for him.

 
hypers36 2008-12-21 06:24:14 PM  
jmsoul.files.wordpress.com

/Hot like the models he passed up.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-12-21 06:24:37 PM  
Ringshadow: Good for the kid, may he rest in peace, but really... I don't think this has anything to do with god. It would have been just as nice a deed without the churchy overtone in the article.

The kid seemed really religious from the quotes, so considering the tone is from he child, IMO that's not really a preachy article. It reads the way a religious child would want it to: He did a great deed and was inspired by his religion to do so.

 
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