Beavertown Beavis Caught Snowballing With Motorists

/lol... "Marching"

dj42: Beavertown Beavis Caught Snowballing With Motorists

/lol... "Marching"

Leave it it Beavis.

Willie? What the hell happened to your eye?

Good. Some hipster douchebag was doing this on Sandy and NE 39th (that's Portland) last weekend during the worst of the road conditions. Different guy, but somebody needs to pay. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PAY!!!!

It's Oregon. We do shiat like this when we're bored.

PoopStain: I have picked up exactly five hitchhikers in my life. Four of them were in the 1980's. Two were drifters just wandering and two people actually needed a ride to work for whatever reason.

The fifth one I picked up in 1999. He was my last. He was a jackass named Leyrond Mitchell. Farker robbed me at gunpoint but didn't take my car. After I gave him my wallet and he took all the CD's I had in the car, I drove a mile up the road and called 9/11. Leyrond Mitchell was such a dumbass that the police found him not 100 yards from where he got in, robbed me, and got out. He still had my wallet on him.

Congratulations, Leyrond, you're farking famous, you goddamn farking douchenozzle. I hope one of your drug buddies eventually put a bullet in your head.

I don't pick up hitchhikers anymore.

I used to walk really long distances all the time and hitchhike on occasion, and sometimes when its really cold out there and there's a long distance between where I am and where anything else is, and hundreds of cars are passing without slowing, I would think to myself, goddamn you, Leyrond, goddamn you for ruining everything.

I live in Wilsonville, so I'm really getting a kick...

I would have given him a ride. Not sure why I'd be on 205 at 3am.. but I would have helped.

For the people not from this area, West Linn/Wilsonville/Lake Oswego can be quite the snobby area. People aren't exactly "helpful" for the most part. Let me tell you, if you need a jump start in this town you can sit for hours getting told no by people who are too awesome to help you. If he were lying on the road frozen to death I think most people wouldn't even pull over their X5 to shine their headlights on him.

I might sound bitter, but it's true. Often during the snow season, I pull people out of the ditch or off the road because nobody else will, and they're waiting hours for a tow truck. In Forest Grove ( a world away from this area) you don't see that, because when someone hits the ditch there are about 4 rednecks stopping to pull them out within 20 minutes.

Just sayin, yeah he should have had cellphone, but I can understand his frustration just a little.

why i was initially SUPER stoked on this article:

imagine my disappointment when i read the actual headline...

Unixfreak: I live in Wilsonville, so I'm really getting a kick...

I would have given him a ride. Not sure why I'd be on 205 at 3am.. but I would have helped.

For the people not from this area, West Linn/Wilsonville/Lake Oswego can be quite the snobby area. People aren't exactly "helpful" for the most part. Let me tell you, if you need a jump start in this town you can sit for hours getting told no by people who are too awesome to help you. If he were lying on the road frozen to death I think most people wouldn't even pull over their X5 to shine their headlights on him.

I might sound bitter, but it's true. Often during the snow season, I pull people out of the ditch or off the road because nobody else will, and they're waiting hours for a tow truck. In Forest Grove ( a world away from this area) you don't see that, because when someone hits the ditch there are about 4 rednecks stopping to pull them out within 20 minutes.

Just sayin, yeah he should have had cellphone, but I can understand his frustration just a little.

You seem like a nice guy, but if you pick up or help people marching down the freeway throwing snowballs at cars, you ought to be a monk or nun. or something. or be raped by crazy hitchhikers.

trenteatspeople: why i was initially SUPER stoked on this article:

imagine my disappointment when i read the actual headline...
'
Seriously. You have Maddox and Homestar that high priority? I see "Bank" there, but, come on. You only check the best page in the universe once per year or two at this point. As for Homestar, that's seriously a priority for you?

If it wasn't for your appropriate image post, I'd think you were a moron.

By the way, how does your obsessive Myspace lifestyle, retarded account with Wells Fargo (stupid banks and TARP), wasting money on Ebay, and viewing shiat on Youtube work for you?

/"It's a TARP" (someone please "it's a trap" photoshop that, put Bush in it, please).

dj42: trenteatspeople: why i was initially SUPER stoked on this article:

imagine my disappointment when i read the actual headline...
'
Seriously. You have Maddox and Homestar that high priority? I see "Bank" there, but, come on. You only check the best page in the universe once per year or two at this point. As for Homestar, that's seriously a priority for you?

If it wasn't for your appropriate image post, I'd think you were a moron.

You're an arrogant fark. Shut your mouth and go back to being a stupid drunk!

dj42:
You seem like a nice guy, but if you pick up or help people marching down the freeway throwing snowballs at cars, you ought to be a monk or nun. or something. or be raped by crazy hitchhikers.

Yeah, I just try to be a decent person. I guess the fact that I'm 6'-2" and 250lbs decreases the chance of easy roadside sodomy, but doesn't eliminate it completely. It's all a roll of the dice really.

Unixfreak: dj42:
You seem like a nice guy, but if you pick up or help people marching down the freeway throwing snowballs at cars, you ought to be a monk or nun. or something. or be raped by crazy hitchhikers.

Yeah, I just try to be a decent person. I guess the fact that I'm 6'-2" and 250lbs decreases the chance of easy roadside sodomy, but doesn't eliminate it completely. It's all a roll of the dice really.

I would say so. If I'm a hitchhiker intent on raping someone that picks me up, I'm assuming they are going to be a burly man that needs some rectal action and will cry about it later.

Cop hate thread?
Come on, somebody here has to hate on the cops in this article.
It's what Fark is known for.

trenteatspeople

My initial guess is that you did not upgrade to v3.454235

you know...the second i posted, i regretted letting my shameful secret of inappropriate firefox button prioritizing out to the world.
i wish there were words to convey how ashamed i am...but there just aren't.

trenteatspeople: you know...the second i posted, i regretted letting my shameful secret of inappropriate firefox button prioritizing out to the world.
i wish there were words to convey how ashamed i am...but there just aren't.

For your admittance of fault and having The Onion that high up, you receive forgiveness.

dj42: trenteatspeople: you know...the second i posted, i regretted letting my shameful secret of inappropriate firefox button prioritizing out to the world.
i wish there were words to convey how ashamed i am...but there just aren't.

For your admittance of fault and having The Onion that high up, you receive forgiveness.

you can't possibly know how much that means to me. thank you for your understanding. thank you all.

This is all the fault of the cops. They think they're so awesome with their guns and OC spray, and tasers....nothing but a bunch of kids who got picked on in highschool and joined the "force" to get back at people.

Harumph.

Seacop: This is all the fault of the cops. They think they're so awesome with their guns and OC spray, and tasers....nothing but a bunch of kids who got picked on in highschool and joined the "force" to get back at people.

Harumph.

You have to be trolling. Here's the quote from TFA:

Sgt. Neil Hennelly, West Linn police spokesman, said Kelly was seen shortly after 3 a.m. walking in the fast lane of southbound Interstate 205 in West Linn, jumping toward vehicles to try to make them stop. One of the vehicles he jumped toward was a FedEx tractor-trailer rig.

Officers said they found him "marching" back and forth along the fog line, with snowballs in both hands. He also was walking in the center of the fast lane, throwing snowballs at vehicles passing him in the slow lane.

So the guy is jumping at cars, throwing snowballs at them, marching around and generally being a douchebag.

Even he wouldn't have Myspace as his primary link in Firefox!

/sorry, I added you as a friend because your response was funny, but seriously. Myspace is your first link?

NEVER trust someone whose neck is bigger than his jaw, which is bigger than his forehead. Throw in those crazyeyes, and I would run screaming and shrieking like a ninny if that dude even came within 20 feet of me.

Thankfuly, West Linn is for biatches anyway. Souffeast PDX or geddafukout.

dj42: You have to be trolling. Here's the quote from TFA:

Sgt. Neil Hennelly, West Linn police spokesman, said Kelly was seen shortly after 3 a.m. walking in the fast lane of southbound Interstate 205 in West Linn, jumping toward vehicles to try to make them stop. One of the vehicles he jumped toward was a FedEx tractor-trailer rig.

Officers said they found him "marching" back and forth along the fog line, with snowballs in both hands. He also was walking in the center of the fast lane, throwing snowballs at vehicles passing him in the slow lane.

So the guy is jumping at cars, throwing snowballs at them, marching around and generally being a douchebag.

Yeah ! SO! Did he cause any permanent damage? No? But now his damn near flawless record will be ruint over a young man having a young man time.

In the words of Dean Martin, "It's a marshmallow world in the winter, When the snow comes to cover the ground, It's the time for play, it's a whipped cream day, I wait for it all year round.

Why do you hate children?

dj42: Even he wouldn't have Myspace as his primary link in Firefox!

/sorry, I added you as a friend because your response was funny, but seriously. Myspace is your first link?

haha...for what it's worth, i'm in a band and these days booking agents and other bands do everything via myspace in lieu of traditional email or simply the phone. so yea, unfortunately i have to check my band's myspace a couple times a day to get back to people in a timely manner.
not much of an excuse, but an excuse nonetheless...
as for maddox...i have no excuse. i should really get rid of it.

Is there no middle ground in public drunkenness? Either charmingly hilarious or very stupid. That's it. I once saw a bum offering his 40inabag to a stop sign, getting offended at the signs refusal, and arguing with said sign, all while standing in the road drunk and swaying.

unless you're cute and gothy I'm not giving you a ride.

/gotta have standards!

and female! wanted to make that clear

12inpianist: Is there no middle ground in public drunkenness? Either charmingly hilarious or very stupid. That's it. I once saw a bum offering his 40inabag to a stop sign, getting offended at the signs refusal, and arguing with said sign, all while standing in the road drunk and swaying.

Middle ground doesn't make headlines

Inanimate moving objects?

/Smartass

DoctorJuice:

Middle ground doesn't make headlines

It doesn't make real life terribly often, either.

/In my experience
//your XP may vary

trenteatspeople: why i was initially SUPER stoked on this article:

imagine my disappointment when i read the actual headline...

Hey! We use the same FF theme.

/I'm, uh, stoked

Heh. Walking in the fast lane? I'd a hit him...
Dumbass, in auto vs. pedestrian the AUTO ALWAYS WINS

/and wut the hell is with his face?
//not his 1st time playing in the road?
///ERtraumaslashie!!!121ty

djslowdive: unless you're cute and gothy I'm not giving you a ride.

/gotta have standards!



I hope you drive a pickup truck. Full size, that is.

Kelly had been drinking, but appeared lucid.

=]

Begoggle: Cop hate thread?
Come on, somebody here has to hate on the cops in this article.
It's what Fark is known for.

Sorry... that applies usually, and more so when you add the "Oregon hippies" variant weight into it... but this guy is such an unusually talented jerkoff that he actually negates the majority of the "cop ridicule" points we would normally have assigned.

It's a really complicated formula.

madmann:
It's a really complicated formula.

Bring a slide rule.

Zack Laughlin Kelly

Guess he ain't Laughlin now!

Day_Old_Dutchie: Guess he ain't Laughlin now!

you know, when Laughlin, NV (a small podunk town 90 min outside Las Vegas, where i live, that boasts a handful of resorts and a significantly larger number of meth labs) announced they were changing their city "slogan", i wrote in with the suggestion "Who's Laughlin Now?", assuming my brilliant suggestion would bring in record tourism dollars, thus making the statement even better.
They ended up going with "Laughlin: It's Like You Own The Place".
I'm still kind of bitter, actually.

Officers said they found him "marching" back and forth along the fog line,

In more ways than one.

Day_Old_Dutchie: Guess he ain't Laughlin now!

also, meant that i live in Las Vegas. Not Laughlin as it may seem.

No.

Definitely don't live in Laughlin....

Anger leads to hate.... hate leads to snowballs.... snowballs lead to the Dark Side....


/ or something like that

I was out shoveling my driveway last night and a couple of guys were running around my neighborhood looking for kids who had thrown snowballs at their car (or so they claimed). Since they couldn't find the kids who did it, they decided to start yelling at anyone they saw. They started in on some kids who had just come down the hill to do some sledding, and then started in on me when I asked what was going on. "Yeah, and we chased them into your back yard!" Yeah, right. No kids live here and there were no footprints in the yard when I checked later. It sucks having people throw snowballs at your car, but these two were not earning any sympathy points by playing tough guy with everyone they ran into.

Not a fan of the west hills, but these freakin rednecks in SE PDX and Clackamas aren't any better.

Thatguy: Good. Some hipster douchebag was doing this on Sandy and NE 39th (that's Portland) last weekend during the worst of the road conditions. Different guy, but somebody needs to pay. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PAY!!!!

At the starbucks?
Or PoorRichards? LOL

So Zack my friend, why were you in this prison put?

"trenteatspeople: you know...the second i posted, i regretted letting my shameful secret of inappropriate firefox button prioritizing out to the world.
i wish there were words to convey how ashamed i am...but there just aren't.

For your admittance of fault and having The Onion that high up, you receive forgiveness."

haha. somebody's bored.

inanimate *moving*

My dictionary says:
inanimate (adj): 1) not moving
*moving* (adj): 1) moving

Uriah Faber, what happened to you?!

Day_Old_Dutchie: Zack Laughlin Kelly

Guess he ain't Laughlin now!

Thank you. I was resisting the urge to say that our of some misguided sense of dignity.

Thank you oh green light gods of Fark. You have humbled me and made my day.

madmann: Begoggle: Cop hate thread?
Come on, somebody here has to hate on the cops in this article.
It's what Fark is known for.

Sorry... that applies usually, and more so when you add the "Oregon hippies" variant weight into it... but this guy is such an unusually talented jerkoff that he actually negates the majority of the "cop ridicule" points we would normally have assigned.

It's a really complicated formula.

further muddied by the fact that the cops cut him a break the first time. Don't think that would fly around here. So they got him off the highway, let him go, and dumbfark goes back. That's grounds for a nightstick massage, followed by a taser to thaw him out.