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(CNN) Amusing CNN reporter is nostalgic for the day when Christmas toys were "magical." Y'know, back in the days of Lawn Darts, lead paint, and the Bag O' Glass   (robots.cnn.com) divider line 130
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co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:07:38 PM  
www.whiterose.org

"Johnny Human Torch" was a best-seller.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:08:00 PM  
I grew up with three brothers, two sets of lawn darts, and a veritable arsenal of weapons. Lawn darts are not nearly as dangerous as the pellet guns or slingshots we used to shoot each other with. The very stones on the ground caused far more injuries.

It's just like playing horseshoes, but more exciting.

 
10feetTall 2008-12-20 12:08:58 PM  
PoopStain: The best Christmas present I ever received came from a neighbor before I was put into a foster home. He had cut up various blocks of wood, painted them, and put them in a box. 2x4's, 4x4's, 6x2's - you name it, he included it. It was probably old scrap he had laying around his garage, but I loved them.

Thanks, Frank, wherever you are now. It meant the world to me.


You are welcome PoopStain, now get back in your cage.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:16:54 PM  
*sigh*

I miss lawn darts.

 
Eat_At_Milliways [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:16:55 PM  
Ey! You be careful wid'dat!

 
friendinpa [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:44:38 PM  
Best line I have ever heard that combines Lawn Darts and Christmas, but I am not sure who said it.

"Take a lawn dart to the forehead and you'll be getting coloring books for Christmas for the rest of your life."

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:46:46 PM  
Scrabble is still around and still going strong - I got a version with more letters and a bigger board last year (has quadruple word scores, even). I also like the various participation games like Taboo and Pictionary, always good for laughs, and the trash-talking that goes on (during the Scrabble also) is a major part of the fun.

Card games are similarly fun too.

Content of the toys aside though, I think a huge part of what makes Xmas toys "magical" for kids is that they can't buy them on their own, so the holiday is the one big time they get gifted with crazy treasures. Well, that and birthdays.

But as adults, when you can buy anything you want when you want it, the longing just isn't there. Same for Halloween candy. Halloween is a huge deal when you're a kid and there's no other way to get such a huge haul. Now, if I want to eat 2452096 Reese's cups I can just go buy them at the market.

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:47:26 PM  
friendinpa: Best line I have ever heard that combines Lawn Darts and Christmas, but I am not sure who said it.

"Take a lawn dart to the forehead and you'll be getting coloring books for Christmas for the rest of your life."


LOL

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 12:55:49 PM  
Man, I miss the "Chancellor Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit"

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:02:34 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: I grew up with three brothers, two sets of lawn darts, and a veritable arsenal of weapons. Lawn darts are not nearly as dangerous as the pellet guns or slingshots we used to shoot each other with. The very stones on the ground caused far more injuries.

We had lawn darts, too, and surprisingly, none of us were killed with them either. My favorite outdoor weapon toy had my Trac-Ball set (^). The plastic balls that came with them stung bad enough, but when we figured out small horse apples would fit into the rackets, my cousins, friends and I were constantly covered in bruises. One of our favorite games was when one or two people were armed with the rackets and a bucket of tennis balls and everyone else had to go from one side of the yard to the other without getting nailed. Kids who grew up in the 70s and early 80s had it sooo much better than kids today do.

 
co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:17:16 PM  
Once upon a time, pretty much every schoolyard had a jungle gym.

Six feet high, upside-down, over a concrete pad. We were the greatest generation.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:33:34 PM  
co-conspirator: Once upon a time, pretty much every schoolyard had a jungle gym.

Six feet high, upside-down, over a concrete pad. We were the greatest generation.


Recess was as much about Darwinian survival of the fittest as it was about good times.

y'know - and not a single kid (or parent) stopped and thought about the fact that those giant metal death traps had kids climbing all over them all the damn time.

*sigh*

Dear God I miss it so...

 
JBLars [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:40:02 PM  
Weaver95: co-conspirator: Once upon a time, pretty much every schoolyard had a jungle gym.

Six feet high, upside-down, over a concrete pad. We were the greatest generation.

Recess was as much about Darwinian survival of the fittest as it was about good times.

y'know - and not a single kid (or parent) stopped and thought about the fact that those giant metal death traps had kids climbing all over them all the damn time.

*sigh*

Dear God I miss it so...


No kidding. My school had some kind of tower/fire pole contraption. I fell down the hole the pole went through, I'm guessing a good seven feet, right onto my first-grader ass. I didn't break anything, but I still shudder to think what an average parent would do today. Me, I didn't even tell my mom until last month.

 
JBLars [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:40:45 PM  
Forgot to add: I was right back in that tower the next day. I was gutted when they tore it down years later.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:47:48 PM  
JBLars: Forgot to add: I was right back in that tower the next day. I was gutted when they tore it down years later.

those things were great during the winter too! metal so cold it seemed to burn...and if you kept your gloves on you couldn't maintain a proper grip. And all that was assuming you didn't slip on snow or ice, or get beaned by some jackass throwing snowballs made of an icy sludge and bits of loose gravel.

 
I_Love_Verdi [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:52:43 PM  
This thread needs more Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 01:54:02 PM  
Weaver95: those things were great during the winter too! metal so cold it seemed to burn

news.thomasnet.com

/coldlinked

 
ScreamingInDigital 2008-12-20 02:04:15 PM  
JBLars: No kidding. My school had some kind of tower/fire pole contraption. I fell down the hole the pole went through, I'm guessing a good seven feet, right onto my first-grader ass. I didn't break anything, but I still shudder to think what an average parent would do today. Me, I didn't even tell my mom until last month.

We had one of those at the playground at the beach. I went down the pole one time and leaned back a little too far, clanging my head off the diamondplate platform the pole went thru. Sounded like a flipping church bell.

Was dazed for a minute or two, got right back up. Had a lump on my head for a while after that. Nobody freaked out, because my parents were laying on a blanket 20 yards away. My older brother who went from asking if I was okay to calling me a doofus for the feat.

Don't even get me started on the monkeybars or the tall swings at the school playground that were set in pebbled cement yet we still jumped off of them.

 
co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 02:10:48 PM  
We also played tackle "football" during recess. Sometimes on the grass, sometimes not.

That's why the school had a nurse. Not a lawyer, just a nurse.

 
Laz Long [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 02:49:57 PM  
I cobbled together a snow ball slingshot from some old bicycle inner tubes. I thought that it was pretty cool. Then my little brother said "Do you think that it will throw a lawn dart?"

/No idea who we managed to survive that and other things that we came up with.

 
schattenteufel [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:21:31 PM  
I miss Glass Jenga, Hammer Gun, and Neck Tornado

 
Vanetia [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:21:42 PM  
How many of you wore an onion on your belt, too?

And no, I'm not on your lawn, grandpa.

I SAID I'M NOT ON YOUR LAWN!!

/misses the jungle gyms, too

 
StampedingElephant 2008-12-20 03:22:44 PM  
co-conspirator: We also played tackle "football" during recess. Sometimes on the grass, sometimes not.

That's why the school had a nurse. Not a lawyer, just a nurse.


We played touch football while the teachers were looking, Smear the Queer when they turned around.

 
ThatDarkFellow 2008-12-20 03:24:06 PM  
Damn, this woman is a genius. Look at her subduing the masses, making them believe they don't need a Wii then ...BAM... Biatch gets all the Wii's for herself. Brilliant.

 
CravenMorehead 2008-12-20 03:24:29 PM  
Ah, the good old days. When the country was raising boys and girls instead of pussies. When common sense was your responsibility and when you got hurt it was your own damn fault.

I dread what this country will look like in 20 years.

 
Enemabag Jones 2008-12-20 03:25:18 PM  
Don't Miss: How to make a 'Love Box'

Found the little gem above at the bottom of the article. Accepting that crafters probably don't have the same concept of slang as farkers, who is the fricking genius who called it a 'love box'.

/Google something with safe search off before you name it.

 
CreepyBasementGuy 2008-12-20 03:25:54 PM  
It's been many a year since I sniffed model airplane glue.

 
EwokHunter 2008-12-20 03:30:59 PM  
co-conspirator: We also played tackle "football" during recess. Sometimes on the grass, sometimes not.

That's why the school had a nurse. Not a lawyer, just a nurse.


Some schools nowadays don't even have nurses as they are no longer allowed to "treat" students.

My son's school doesn't and if you get sick or need anything, it's call the parents and come get you. He's not even allowed to take chapstick to school.

 
Show us your Marx [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:34:40 PM  
StampedingElephant Quote 2008-12-20 03:22:44 PM
co-conspirator: We also played tackle "football" during recess. Sometimes on the grass, sometimes not.

That's why the school had a nurse. Not a lawyer, just a nurse.

We played touch football while the teachers were looking, Smear the Queer when they turned around.


CravenMorehead Quote 2008-12-20 03:24:29 PM
Ah, the good old days. When the country was raising boys and girls instead of pussies. When common sense was your responsibility and when you got hurt it was your own damn fault.

I dread what this country will look like in 20 years.


Do you guys want to take a guess as to which generation became the parents and lawyers of today's "pussy" generation? I always get a laugh when I see this nostalgia (In my day we played tackle football WITH the queer as the ball!) but these are the same people who have been involved in all the frivolous lawsuits then blame "kids today."

Enjoy blaming everyone else boomers.

 
Generation_D [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:36:18 PM  
Not too much to add to this, how about hitting rocks with wooden baseball bats. Send one of those rocks flying 2, 3 houses over. We used to see how far we could hit them, if anyone could send one out to the 4 lane arterial road.

 
ChickenTits 2008-12-20 03:36:34 PM  
God, I hate it when people long for things to be the "magical" way they remember them.

and you:
CravenMorehead: Ah, the good old days. When the country was raising boys and girls instead of pussies. When common sense was your responsibility and when you got hurt it was your own damn fault.

I dread what this country will look like in 20 years.


Stop whining and abort yourself. The country will look like it does now. Another generation of turds that biatch and moan about today's youth will come along and replace you... Just the way it's always been.

/"Kids these days!!!"
//Barf.

 
XGoldenDragon514 [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:41:03 PM  
I remember a creepy crawly maker that was basically a smelting kit for plastic that you poured into molds of insects.
Thinking back, it was probably toxic as shiHOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST IM COVERED IN INSECTS!!!!!

 
TheHopeDiamond 2008-12-20 03:46:55 PM  
PacManDreaming: Kids who grew up in the 70s and early 80s had it sooo much better than kids today do.

My brother was infamous for his lethal "nutcracker" Trac-Ball shot. He could get it skimming about two feet off the ground, and then it would curve upwards toward the, ahem, target. I still don't know how he did it, and he isn't telling.

 
das_klaun 2008-12-20 03:48:32 PM  
FTFA:
"Do you remember the first time you got the 64-pack of Crayolas?...The year my older sister got Monopoly was fabulous!...Did you Hula Hoop?...none of them cost more than $10"

Completely oblivious to the fact that HER parents would have written articles about how "in my day, we didn't need to spend a whole ten dollars on a fancy pack of crayons! We played with hoops and sticks and we were happy!"

And forty years from now todays kids are going to be biatching about how they made do without cranial implants and sexdroids. GET SOME GODDAMN PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE.

 
CravenMorehead 2008-12-20 03:49:28 PM  
Show us your Marx: CravenMorehead Quote 2008-12-20 03:24:29 PM
Ah, the good old days. When the country was raising boys and girls instead of pussies. When common sense was your responsibility and when you got hurt it was your own damn fault.

I dread what this country will look like in 20 years.

Do you guys want to take a guess as to which generation became the parents and lawyers of today's "pussy" generation? I always get a laugh when I see this nostalgia (In my day we played tackle football WITH the queer as the ball!) but these are the same people who have been involved in all the frivolous lawsuits then blame "kids today."

Enjoy blaming everyone else boomers.


I'm not blaming everyone else. There are plenty of parents out there like me that value common sense and don't treat their kids like precious snowflakes. Unfortunately there are also plenty out there that don't feel that way and they tend to be much louder and do their best to bring everyone else to their level.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 03:49:37 PM  
Oh, fark nostalgia. I was shopping for my nephew the other day and toys kick ass now. They have spy gadgets, science based educational toys, robotic dinosaurs...even the Star Wars toys are better now. They have a Sarlaac pit playset I almost bought for myself. And the Lego stuff I don't even understand. Things aren't better just because they were around when you were a kid.

 
mdbuff12 2008-12-20 03:51:14 PM  
PoopStain: The best Christmas present I ever received came from a neighbor before I was put into a foster home. He had cut up various blocks of wood, painted them, and put them in a box. 2x4's, 4x4's, 6x2's - you name it, he included it. It was probably old scrap he had laying around his garage, but I loved them.

Thanks, Frank, wherever you are now. It meant the world to me.


It's log, it's log, it's better than bad it's good!

 
willicus 2008-12-20 04:01:20 PM  
XGoldenDragon514: I remember a creepy crawly maker that was basically a smelting kit for plastic that you poured into molds of insects.
Thinking back, it was probably toxic as shiHOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST IM COVERED IN INSECTS!!!!!


I had one of those.

I also had what amounted to a smelting kit, except you made everything out of pewter, or some sort of metal that I hope didn't have lead. It had a dragon, motorcycle, and (I think) a skull molds.

The best part was re-melting the first batch to make new ones.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-12-20 04:02:19 PM  
We made a lot of our stuff:

3 beer cans - check
electrical tape - check
can opener - check
zippo lighter fluid - check
lighter - check
tennis ball - check
target - [wait til Jimmy rides by on his bike]

or

box of strike anywhere kitchen matches
masking tape

Go ahead...throw it!

/yes, we were some explosive little freaks

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 04:03:13 PM  
Show us your Marx: Enjoy blaming everyone else boomers.

Um, today's kids are the grandchildren of Boomers.

Show us your Marx: In my day we played tackle football WITH the queer as the ball!

Heh. That's how we rolled back then.

The parents that are crying the loudest over their precious snowflakes' safety are probably the "queers" that were used for footballs back in the day.

 
herrhitmann 2008-12-20 04:05:24 PM  
Lawn darts?

I farking loved lawn darts! Until my parents took ours away after my neighbor took one in the face. :'(

In my defense, he *was* standing on the target.

/mofo should've ducked

 
soundguy 2008-12-20 04:05:47 PM  

Do you guys want to take a guess as to which generation became the parents and lawyers of today's "pussy" generation? I always get a laugh when I see this nostalgia (In my day we played tackle football WITH the queer as the ball!) but these are the same people who have been involved in all the frivolous lawsuits then blame "kids today."

Enjoy blaming everyone else boomers.


Maybe you want to take ANOTHER guess. The kids of boomers are all in their 20's and 30's now. The unfortunate bubble-wrapped snowflakes in gradeschool today are our grandkids. It was our evil spawn who got all lawyery and litigious. I blame the MTV.

 
ScottMpls 2008-12-20 04:06:24 PM  
I want a "Happy Fun Ball" dammit ...

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-12-20 04:06:36 PM  
Mugato: Oh, fark nostalgia. I was shopping for my nephew the other day and toys kick ass now.

Yes, they kind of kick ass. But a lot of the imagination has gone out of them. Everything is a 'set'. With a big picture on the box of what you are supposed to make.
Also, except for Lego, this crap doesn't last. It's fun, but if you look at it twice, it falls apart.

How about just a box of parts, and let the kid figure something out. Or rooting through dads garage, looking for stuff to 'do something with'.

 
theorellior 2008-12-20 04:07:00 PM  
One of the more successful Christmas presents I can recall was the Nerf™ Pool Set. It had four pockets you attached to the corners of a table, a piece of elastic to stretch between them to use as a bumper, and nine felt-covered balls, one black, four orange, four blue. I dunno why it clicked with me and my brother and our friends, but we wore the shiat out of that thing over Christmas break and beyond.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-12-20 04:07:33 PM  
PacManDreaming: The parents that are crying the loudest over their precious snowflakes' safety are probably the "queers" that were used for footballs back in the day.

QFT.

 
TheHopeDiamond 2008-12-20 04:12:22 PM  
I remember the day my mom and brother finally let me play with these:
theimaginaryworld.com
www.timewarptoys.com

Mom warned me that they got hot, and if I did something stupid like oh, touch the hot parts, I'd be one sorry little girl.


A glorious day.

/Didn't burn myself, either.

 
Kim Jong B Illin [TotalFark] 2008-12-20 04:12:54 PM  
Screw low tech, when I was 8 this was the coolest toy ever! Probably still is as far as I'm concerned.
www.kuroneko-chan.com

 
Moonfisher 2008-12-20 04:12:59 PM  
I wanted a rock tumbler when I was 9 very very badly. I was so sure I would make myself the awesomest jewelry ever. It broke before it got done tumbling the first batch. My husband had one. His broke, too. Shenanigans.

 
Fizics 2008-12-20 04:15:12 PM  
Xacto knives, leftover firecrackers, tissue and masking tape and some patience could get you a fair-sized bomb for those old models you were tired of or didnt come out quite right.

We lost more Millenium Falcons that way.

 
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