Mom, really, I wish you'd quit it. This is, like, the third or fourth holiday in a row. It's just embarassing! If you keep moving back the "deadline", the women aren't going to take you seriously!

Send a picture and letter to her? I know I can think of something evil.

lordaction: Send a picture and letter to her? I know I can think of something evil.

I can think of a couple evil things off the top of my head, mostly involving various Fark Photoshop cliches.

From the looks of things, it looks like he wasn't really to begin with.

He's a graduate of Bloomingdale High and the University of South Florida. He likes '80s music and the occasional Captain Morgan with Diet Coke.


Jager bomb, jager bomb, jager bomb, JAGER BOMB!!!

/ahh
//much better now

She must really hate her son. The heartless slag knows what happens to most married men.

I was having lunch with two coworkers and a lady sitting in the booth behind ours asked if we were married. We told her we all were, and she was disappointed. She said she wanted to find a nice man for her daughter to date because the current boyfriend is a loser. She showed us a photo of her daughter, who looked straight from the stereotypical trailer park (big hair, needed dental work, too much eye makeup), and was obviously too young for us anyway. The lady seemed very concerned and very creepy. It was as if the girl was about to turn 21 and wasn't married yet, which I guess is socially unacceptable at their trailer park.

Who in their right mind would follow a lead like that? The best that could happen was you end up with her for a mother-in-law. The worst that could happen? 'Discrete' diseases and a burning sensation when you urinate? Painful death inflicted by jealous loser boyfriend? Legal fees when you defend yourself against jealous loser boyfriend?

Man Going His Own Way: She must really hate her son. The heartless slag knows what happens to most married men.

I really doubt that this is about her son at all. If she's anything like a lot of the mothers I know, she's just trying to get grandkids.

You are so right, susannah_mio.

I'm 23 and my mother is already lamenting that by the time I breed, she will be 'too old to enjoy her grandkids'. Sometimes I think she wishes I *had* been knocked up at 16 like so many other girls at my school.

tshetter: He's a graduate of Bloomingdale High and the University of South Florida. He likes '80s music and the occasional Captain Morgan with Diet Coke.


Jager bomb, jager bomb, jager bomb, JAGER BOMB!!!

/ahh
//much better now

If you drink jager bombs i hope your heart explodes from caffeine overdose.
Its the most nasty smelling horrible stuff i have EVER served in my bar, i HATE it, but customers want it so i HAVE to stock it.

The first time i ever served Red Bull the smell was in my nose for 2 days, even after i showered and shaved i could still smell Red Bull

enkindle: You are so right, susannah_mio.

I'm 23 and my mother is already lamenting that by the time I breed, she will be 'too old to enjoy her grandkids'. Sometimes I think she wishes I *had* been knocked up at 16 like so many other girls at my school.

I get the same thing from my mother. I've been married for almost 2 years now and I hear on a daily basis that I should already have at least 1 child with another on the way.

MOM, I told you I don't want a wife for Christmas. I wanted some new mud flaps for my truck!!!

Silverkarn: tshetter: He's a graduate of Bloomingdale High and the University of South Florida. He likes '80s music and the occasional Captain Morgan with Diet Coke.


Jager bomb, jager bomb, jager bomb, JAGER BOMB!!!

/ahh
//much better now

If you drink jager bombs i hope your heart explodes from caffeine overdose.
Its the most nasty smelling horrible stuff i have EVER served in my bar, i HATE it, but customers want it so i HAVE to stock it.

The first time i ever served Red Bull the smell was in my nose for 2 days, even after i showered and shaved i could still smell Red Bull

You sure that was the Red Bull and not the 4-day old corpse you were gutting?

/Easy mix up

Thankfully my sister took care of the grandkid department for Mom. She just teases that I will be like my uncle and find a first wife at 45.

That's standard practice in some places, India for instance. For ages there were matrimonial ads in the local papers here, but I can't seem to find any in the online editions. Many (possibly most) ads were by the parents, offering son or daughter. It's the "arranged marriage" thing. Frankly, it works out about as well as picking your own. My buddy Haridasan (Haridas for short) is from Kerala, and he is just mystified by the whole idea of divorce. Just doesn't happen where he's from. But then attitudes and expectations are very different.

Different strokes and all that.

She could just buy him a hooker, like normal mothers

KingVJ: MOM, I told you I don't want a wife for Christmas. I wanted some new mud flaps for my truck!!!

Maybe the gal will be old enough to take care of both needs.

/eww

Clearly he's gay --or just not into chicks--and just hasn't mentioned it to her because he knows how crazy his mother is.


In the interest of not outing him, though: Lady, if you're reading this, I could be and probably am wrong. You're not crazy and your son just hasn't found the right one yet. Just give it some time.

Mom buys newspaper ad asking for help in finding her son a wife by Christmas, guaranteeing he will never get laid again

FTFY Subby.

FTFA

Two came from other mothers; one with a daughter, who sounds promising; the other, a son.

So, did I read that right?
Mom's trying to arrange a threesome?
Merry Farking Christmas!

He's 37, has no kids and wants some "soon." That's enough to run off most women his age.

And CruiserTwelve, there's nothing wrong with the guy in the article. I'm sure he's been laid plenty.

With all this high school information, and what not, how can we NOT find out the last name?

She wants the names of the women Jason decides not to date.
yay for low expectations

By not looking, KingVJ. :P

He got over 9000 responses!

Ah, well, it could be worse. (pops)

Monkey MKIII: Ah, well, it could be worse. (pops)

I can't believe I fell for that.

Golden!

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ... a WIFE for my SON," it begins.
Signed Christmas Mother-in Law, the plea continues: "I'm sad that he's alone, a 37 year old handsome Tampa professional ...
"Help me find him a wife!"

• "I don't have kids," he explains. "And that's something I would like in the near future."
• Mom's right about the job, too. Jason's a software marketing manager. He was even employee of the month.
• So far, he says, his mother has received only three responses to her ad. Two came from other mothers; one with a daughter, who sounds promising; the other, a son

golden!

southaustin: Monkey MKIII: Ah, well, it could be worse. (pops)

I can't believe I fell for that.

So did I.

What a gorgeous Jeep!

Seriously, his mother is doing more harm than good. I would sadly steer clear of this guy BECAUSE of the meddling, domineering mother.

Wonder why he's divorced?

Nothing worse than an overbearing mother.





/You are all giving this guy the wrong advice.
//You need to be telling him to strike his mother and tell her mind her own damn business.

I came for the World of Warcraft comments.

I am leaving shocked and disappointed. You KNOW he's in a big guild on one of the East coast servers...

Silverkarn: The first time i ever served Red Bull the smell was in my nose for 2 days, even after i showered and shaved i could still smell Red Bull

Protip: Your pour it into the glass, not your nose.

enkindle: You are so right, susannah_mio.

I'm 23 and my mother is already lamenting that by the time I breed, she will be 'too old to enjoy her grandkids'. Sometimes I think she wishes I *had* been knocked up at 16 like so many other girls at my school.

I was 23 when I got married, and I think my in-laws were waiting at our apartment with a pregnancy test for the young Mrs. RandomKeyStrike when we got back from the honeymoon. Seriously, it was really, really subtle (not), and quite creepy to be putting up with all the interest in our reproductive lives after my father-in-law had spent the past five years in morbid fear that I would get into the future Mrs. RandomKeyStrike's pants...

I think the mom has been watching too much Lifetime and/or too Hallmark Channel.

*too much Hallmark Channel.

That_One_Girl: I think the mom has been watching too much Lifetime and/or too Hallmark Channel.

My first thought as well. "Christmas Mother-In-Law" starring Peter Falk and what's her name that used to play Peg Bundy.

Hmmm....
Divorced....
Hmmm....
No Girlfriend....
Hmmm...
Still in the closet, Maw....
Hmmm...

Hiro's Protagonist: Two came from other mothers; one with a daughter, who sounds promising; the other, a son

golden!

Meh, I think that the other mother with a son simply was intriqued by the ad and inquired to find out how things were going, before putting up her own ad. But, hah!, considering the item was written by a "journalist", with contributions from a "researcher", you would think that one of them would have persued that angle more.

I suspect though there is a reason he lives several states away from mom...

He's not bad looking. Needs to get rid of the acid wash jeans though.

Hiro's Protagonist: He was even employee of the month.


/rumored to be interested

Well, I hope I'm wrong, but the jeep screams "let's put on our speedos and head down to south beach."

FTFA: "It turns out he's OK with his mother's meddling."

I GUARANTEE you this is why he's divorced. The ex-wife isn't "Mrs. Wrong," his MOTHER is.

I GUARANTEE it.

Okay, yeah, so I've been there and done that.
I'm only a little bitter.
Guys, cut the apron strings. Seriously.

Is the Mom hot?

i swear, if my parents did anything like this i'd be pissed as hell.

All Fark and No Byte: FTFA: "It turns out he's OK with his mother's meddling."

I GUARANTEE you this is why he's divorced. The ex-wife isn't "Mrs. Wrong," his MOTHER is.

I GUARANTEE it.

Okay, yeah, so I've been there and done that.
I'm only a little bitter.
Guys, cut the apron strings. Seriously.

NBC has turned this type of situation into a reality show called "Momma's Boys". Three bachelors, 32 hot women, and the guys' Moms live with the women. Sounds like it might be worth a look, but for all the wrong reasons.

I've only been single and out of college 6 months and my mom is already trying to find me someone.. so I understand the annoyance

RandomKeyStrike
my father-in-law had spent the past five years in morbid fear that I would get into the future Mrs. RandomKeyStrike's pants

Please tell me you didn't wait 5 years to get a piece of that sweet premarital ass.

/god is angry when the sexing happens before the paperwork

bighairyguy: NBC has turned this type of situation into a reality show called "Momma's Boys". Three bachelors, 32 hot women, and the guys' Moms live with the women. Sounds like it might be worth a look, but for all the wrong reasons.

Oh. Dear. God.

I'm not hot and my ex-MIL didn't live with us. She didn't have to, she made the most of their 20 years together. Ugh. But I'M the bad guy for divorcing him; there's something wrong with ME. There's no way I could even think about watching that show. Not now. Not ever.

I sincerely feel bad for this guy. I bet this mother just wants another woman for him so she can get her sick jollies by running this one off like she did the first one. Get a farking life lady, and leave your handsome, successful, 37-year-old son alone. Christ.

CruiserTwelve: Mom buys newspaper ad asking for help in finding her son a wife by Christmas, guaranteeing he will never get laid again

FTFY Subby.

Came in here to say precisely this. Good jorb.