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(Washington Post) Cool United Airlines lies to a 777 full of sick children, deceiving them about their destination for the 18th year in a row   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 210
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Terrx [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 06:10:36 PM  
Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination.

Aww, the least they could have done was takeoff. At that age I was more interested in airplanes than Santa Clause.

 
FredaDeStilleto [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 06:15:43 PM  
Was this their final destination?

 
MorrisBird [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 06:21:39 PM  
Um, that's just all kinds of disturbing.

 
Lordmontu 2008-12-14 06:25:08 PM  
They didn't even take off? How lame is that?

I volunteered once for a program that did something like this. Loaded a bunch of needy kids into a C-130, and flew around for a good 10 minutes, then landed and taxied to a hanger that we had made into "Santa's Workshop".

 
meekychuppet 2008-12-14 06:40:57 PM  
media3.washingtonpost.com

This picture makes me want to cry.

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 07:19:05 PM  
Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination. Passengers erupted with applause and cheers.

I know they're just a bunch of kids, but are they really that gullible/stupid? Even when I was in kindergarten I would have suspected something fishy if a trip to the "North Pole" only took mere seconds.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 07:37:05 PM  
Epsilon: I know they're just a bunch of kids, but are they really that gullible/stupid? Even when I was in kindergarten I would have suspected something fishy if a trip to the "North Pole" only took mere seconds.

Oh give it a rest, Scrooge. The kids obviously didn't see it that way. Besides, taking off, circling around, and making a safe landing is costly, risky, and would take long enough the kids might get bored. Chances are good they didn't even know the plane hadn't left the ground.

 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 07:40:21 PM  
If it were me, and we had already agreed not to take off, I'd at least make up some bullshiat story - "This is your captain speakimg - welcome to North Pole one. Our estimated travel time is 3 minutes, plus a few minutes taxi to the North Pole Workshop. Please make sure you are secured, we will experience some turbulence during our trip through the time/space fold to Santa's dimension. Thank you, and hang on - Here... WE... GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!"

A nd that sort of thing.

 
Cake Hunter [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 07:44:18 PM  
Would it have killed the airline to pipe in some knockout gas and let the kids stew for a couple hours on the tarmac?

talk about heartless.

 
PPL_Wannabe [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:11:00 PM  
"The aircraft shook as it sped down the runway. Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination."

Surely you can't be serious.

 
Persepolis 2008-12-14 09:30:45 PM  
I've heard about people doing this. What sucks is they don't "fly" back home. They're just like.. "Okay, you meant santa, now go back to your cars that are in the parkinglot outside, because you never left."

and the illusion ends.

 
Canadian Canuck [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:32:16 PM  
PPL_Wannabe: "The aircraft shook as it sped down the runway. Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination."

Surely you can't be serious.


They are serious... and don't call them Shirley.

 
Kyoowashugi 2008-12-14 09:32:58 PM  
PPL_Wannabe: "The aircraft shook as it sped down the runway. Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination."

I feel like that aborted landing was probably more dangerous than just taking off and flying for a minute would be.

 
leroux 2008-12-14 09:33:17 PM  
At least fly them to Disneyworld or something instead of just taxiing.

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:33:28 PM  
I was supposed to go on this last year, but they had a flight bound for North Pole, Alaska leaving two gates over. Man, there's 18 hours of my life I'll never get back. I hope they planned it better this year.

 
MIguy [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:33:30 PM  
FredaDeStilleto: Was this their final destination?

STFU just STFU.

 
evajyna 2008-12-14 09:33:30 PM  
I seem to have something in my eye...

 
RediixOne 2008-12-14 09:33:51 PM  
Eat your heart out, Fark

 
greatgodyoshi 2008-12-14 09:33:56 PM  
"A Wii," Luckabaugh said with a smile yesterday, referring to the video game system.

Gee, thanks for clarifying that. For a second there, I thought the kid was asking for tentacle porn or maybe some kind of guided missile.

 
Get Lost 2008-12-14 09:35:19 PM  
What? No Jolly TSA elves Trolls?

Searching the kids bags of drugs for something to hop up their after work time.

 
itsfullofstars 2008-12-14 09:35:26 PM  
Persepolis: I've heard about people doing this. What sucks is they don't "fly" back home. They're just like.. "Okay, you meant santa, now go back to your cars that are in the parkinglot outside, because you never left."

and the illusion ends.


Have you seen the price of jet fuel?

 
Dull Cow Eyes 2008-12-14 09:35:36 PM  
Did they show Santa fighting Jesus ?


/for historical accuracy

 
jpo2269 2008-12-14 09:35:54 PM  
still pretty cool.

Two stories in a row, not hating man kind so much right now...

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:36:08 PM  
Good thing a midget didn't show up wearing explosives...

 
Persepolis 2008-12-14 09:36:16 PM  
itsfullofstars: Have you seen the price of jet fuel?

More than the hopes and dreams of our little snowflakes no doubt.

/i'm just saying, if you go through ALL that trouble to set this up, it's a small thing to finish it right.

 
Warthog [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:36:47 PM  
Dull Cow Eyes: Did they show Santa fighting Jesus ?


Go Santa!

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:36:52 PM  
Get Lost: What? No Jolly TSA elves Trolls?

Searching the kids bags of drugs for something to hop up their after work time.


Don't worry, I'm sure the kids all got their free cavity search.

 
Hiro's Protagonist 2008-12-14 09:37:01 PM  
Indications you did not in fact go to the north pole:
- no passport / canadian immigration
- impossibly short flight time
- the weather / climate
- if you can fly to the north pole, why aren't more people doing it
- your family wants to kill you early and is surrounding you in confined spaces with other immune system compromised children
- the position of stars/sun/moon in the sky
- lack of northern lights (optional)
- Coriolis effect
- maybe you have a magnet
- scan the radio frequencies for nearby broadcasters

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:37:24 PM  
Epsilon: I know they're just a bunch of kids, but are they really that gullible/stupid? Even when I was in kindergarten I would have suspected something fishy if a trip to the "North Pole" only took mere seconds.

If you look at the speed with which Santa visits all the children-containing christian houses on the planet, a few seconds is actually a pretty long time. So totally consistent that the airlines got their best plane on the job, but it's still not as fast as Santa's Sleigh.

 
FrostyOne 2008-12-14 09:37:51 PM  
Did they end up in heaven?

 
ninjabandit 2008-12-14 09:38:18 PM  
This kind of stuff makes me sick. It just shows kids you don't have to work for what you want, just get "sick"!!

 
dasunst3r 2008-12-14 09:38:39 PM  
I think this story deserves a "HERO" tag, for the people who take the time and effort to pull something like this off.

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:38:40 PM  
Imagine how bad it would be if the TSA ruined Christmas for some cancer kid by selecting his MILF for a "random screening".

 
Gridlock 2008-12-14 09:38:50 PM  
FredaDeStilleto: Was this their final destination?

IRAQ.

They were given guns and sent out to die futilely in battle.

// Thank you Bush.

 
Warthog [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:38:50 PM  
Persepolis: itsfullofstars: Have you seen the price of jet fuel?

More than the hopes and dreams of our little snowflakes no doubt.

/i'm just saying, if you go through ALL that trouble to set this up, it's a small thing to finish it right.


Not sure if the return on investment would be worth it. Most of these kids are going to die. To the extent the memories are imperfect, they won't dwell on them too long.

/one way ticket
//from one end of the runway to the other.
///yeah, I'm trolling the make-a-wish thread.

 
Hiro's Protagonist 2008-12-14 09:39:02 PM  
oh,
- did not have to clear airport security (?)
- no air marshall (1/100 chance of true positive)
- what movie they do or do not play according to their licensing arrangement

 
Foaming [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:39:50 PM  
Did they charge them for the extra baggage on the return flight?

 
Bob Ondeeznuts 2008-12-14 09:40:22 PM  
At least the kids on feeding tubes don't have to worry about the airline food.

 
safety-math 2008-12-14 09:40:28 PM  
Couldn't they at least have flown the plane to Wisconsin or something? There's plenty of snow here, enough to make little kids think they're at the North Pole. I can't believe no one looked outside the window to see the clouds and landscapes and everything. That's probably why half of them wanted to go on the trip in the first place.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:41:01 PM  
Hiro's Protagonist: Indications you did not in fact go to the north pole:

The flight attendants pass out antlers right before Governor Sarah Palin drops by for her special visit.

 
dcigary [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 09:41:16 PM  
What a cool story. Didn't know they did that. I agree, the taking off really wouldn't be necessary - just the sensation of the plane "taking off" and "landing" would be enough to stoke any child, especially the ill ones.

 
Hiro's Protagonist 2008-12-14 09:41:45 PM  
Given the current need of Ben Bernanke to distribute money, why not enlist the terminally ill children.

Relatively uncorrupted, the terminally ill part might make them consider the bigger picture

They might get a kick out of giving away say $100 million to the cause of their choice

 
zephyrkate 2008-12-14 09:42:54 PM  
Don't these kids know it's got to be a train you take to see Santa?

 
Ponzholio 2008-12-14 09:42:57 PM  
Flight attendants wore bells and blew cinnamon-scented bubbles.

I've got cinnamon-scented bubbles in my pants...

 
cgraves67 2008-12-14 09:42:58 PM  
If you're gullible enough to believe in Santa, you are gullible enough to believe in a magic airplane that arrives as soon as it departs. I just hope the performed it in reverse to maintain the effect.

I think this is incredibly cool.

 
Saulsa 2008-12-14 09:43:02 PM  
meekychuppet: This picture makes me want to cry.

Yeah, I like stewardesses too.

 
whatshisname 2008-12-14 09:44:07 PM  
Where's all the trolls from last week's thread who were defending the teacher who told 7-year-olds that Santa was a lie?

 
asmodeus224 2008-12-14 09:44:23 PM  
Epsilon: Just as the plane was about to lift off, its engines were put in reverse and the intercom announced that the plane had reached its destination. Passengers erupted with applause and cheers.

I know they're just a bunch of kids, but are they really that gullible/stupid? Even when I was in kindergarten I would have suspected something fishy if a trip to the "North Pole" only took mere seconds.


I bet if you were undergoing chemotherapy and shait in kindergarten you might have had other things on your mind and this sort of thing might have gotten past you.

But probably not since you were a prodigy child and not at all like those kids in kindergarten eating their glue and having mittens pinned to their jackets...yea, you were solving for 'x' in the crib...of course you were.

 
Bort_Flancrest 2008-12-14 09:44:24 PM  
I lie to sick children all the time, but nobody gives me a damned reward.

 
mrvaevictus 2008-12-14 09:45:50 PM  
e.imagehost.org

 
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