What's a "mall"?

Whamdangler: What's a "mall"?

A high value terrorist target / teenage containment center?

I swear it's a power thing with some people. "I have the space and wouldn't you like to get it?" Just back out and go. I stopped and was waiting to park but when the driver saw me she got out and stood by her car and lit a cigarette.

I am none of the three, since I can't drive.

/legally blind

Don't even bother anymore. I just park in the back and walk. God knows my pudgy ass needs the exercise. Driving around to find a close spot always takes longer than just walking, anyways.

BigEd: I swear it's a power thing with some people. "I have the space and wouldn't you like to get it?" Just back out and go. I stopped and was waiting to park but when the driver saw me she got out and stood by her car and lit a cigarette.

They're vaguely related to the people who speed up, pass you, and slow down; the ones who see you passing in the mirror and speed up; the ones who cockblock you (speed up in the left lane so you can't pass the slowpoke in front of you); the Mexican roadblocks...

The daily commute is not a competition, folks.

Ok the stalker one is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm glad I've never seen that here. If I have to go to a mall in the next few weeks I'm not even going to bother, I'll head right to the back corner of the parking lot and walk. Even if it's -30.

I think the laws for driving and the procedures for getting and keeping a license need to be a LOT tougher. WAY too many cages on the road, IMO - and it's this overcrowding that leads to all this selfish behaviour the article commented on.

Besides, it should be required by law that businesses with lots that have 50 spaces or more should have to reserve 2% of them out for motorcycle and scooters, striped accordingly, of course.

Of course, with the depression that's coming, we may see half-empty lots this time next year.

Jesus H. Christ.
It's been statistically proven that not everyone can have the spot closest to the door.
Drive in, pick the closest spot you first drive by and walk. I'll beat your dumb stalking ass in the door every time.

You couldn't drag me into a mall on a weekend this late in December.

xlbrooklyn: WAY too many cages on the road, IMO

Use of the douchebag term "cages". Check.

Besides, it should be required by law that businesses with lots that have 50 spaces or more should have to reserve 2% of them out for motorcycle and scooters, striped accordingly, of course.

Desire for increased government control and intervention in areas that are personally beneficial to him. Check.

All the douchebag requirements seem to be fulfilled.

SchlingFocker: All the douchebag requirements seem to be fulfilled.

No use of a smarmy derogatory for their personal hate target, so not quite there yet.

EvilElecBlanket: Don't even bother anymore. I just park in the back and walk. God knows my pudgy ass needs the exercise. Driving around to find a close spot always takes longer than just walking, anyways.

THIS.

I walk daily and so doing this is a huge timesaver. Only time I try to get a close spot is if one is easily visible and I'm in a hurry. Other than that, I'm parking in the north 40 and just strolling on in while everyone else wastes gas.

Occam's Chainsaw: No use of a smarmy derogatory for their personal hate target, so not quite there yet.

Sorry, I jumped the gun.

On topic, I'm the "park in the back of the lot and walk" driver, if I actually have to go to a mall.

None of the above?

A few years ago, my mom sent me to the mall with the mission to buy gift certificates for presents she had forgotten about.

The horror, the horror.

There are also bad men who will hide underneath your car and then when you try to open it up they'll slit your Achilles' tendon and then steal all of your kids Christmas presents while you flail around on the ground, bleeding and unable to stand and defend the Batman playset you duked it out in Kay-Bee Toys for just an hour ago. It happens. More often than you think.

Urban lots have their own issues. Space is precious, it's expensive and eagle-eyed guards are sometimes watching to see whether you enter the store that owns the lot where you parked.

There's a hardware store (Canadian Tire) that has pretty much the only free parking lot I've ever seen in the heart of downtown Toronto. They have a guy that checks your receipt and how long you were there when you leave.

I'm always on foot, but the indignance of some of the drivers when they get called on abusing the parking (and asked to pay) are hilarious. "But the parking is free for customers?!?!" "Ma'am, we both know it didn't take you an hour to walk into the store and buy that bottle of water."

"Sometimes, I get scared," she said. "You don't know if these people are following you because you have a purse or bags or they want your parking spot. At night, or if I'm with the stroller or with a lot of bags and I see people waiting in their car outside, I'll wait inside until other people are going out."

Jesus Farking Christ, lady. It's a mall. At Christmas time. You've got a lot of stuff, so it looks like you're done shopping. The people in cars aren't looking to touch your honeypot, they want your parking spot.

One researcher found that aggressive hovering doesn't make people leave faster.

Barry Ruback, a sociology professor at Pennsylvania State University, once staked out a parking lot and found that drivers who linger in coveted spaces exhibit "territorial behavior."

He used a stopwatch in Atlanta in 1997 to determine that drivers ordinarily took 26 seconds to back out of a space. But when another car (driven by a graduate student) was hovering nearby, waiting for the spot, drivers took 31 seconds to exit.

When urged to move faster with a honk, drivers took 43 seconds to leave.

Yup. If someone is waiting for my spot, I will make every possible effort to vacate in a timely manner. Unless they're one of those idiots who hovers three inches back from my bumper, making me back straight back out of the spot, blocking both lanes as I begin to drive. Then it's Marlboro Time. And if they honk to let me know they're there, "Oops, I forgot a gift for my great Aunt Tilly. Back to the mall I go!"

Of course, those are on the rare times I actually drive. Normally I'm bus-bound. And I take a perverse sense of satisfaction in walking down an aisle of the lot, picking up a train of stalking cars (if I even had a car, I would vacate a maximum of ONE spot, so why are there three of you behind me?) then cutting over to the bus stop through the parked cars. Just ask if I'm leaving. It's not hard.

/As an after-the-fact proviso, I am not a people person. And I don't like Christmas. It's a time for my WASP family to get together and subtly dislike each other, while getting gifts we don't want.
//11 days left, and I just started shopping yesterday. And I still have to book a plane ticket.
///AAAARGH!

Meh, I just always park a decent distance away if I must - I just take the first spot I see, and that's rarely anywhere near the front. I can't count the number of times I find a spot a good distance away, park, walk, and by the time I get to the door people who were hovering when I entered the lot are still looking/waiting for something.

Occam's Chainsaw: The daily commute is not a competition, folks.

And that is why you keep losing.

I never worry about parking when shopping myself; I rarely get a car involved, especially at this time of year.

Instead, I use these two things in concert:

Can't even remember the last time I was at a mall. Had to been over 8 years ago at least around my teenage time. Nasty places with nasty people.

BigEd: I swear it's a power thing with some people. "I have the space and wouldn't you like to get it?" Just back out and go. I stopped and was waiting to park but when the driver saw me she got out and stood by her car and lit a cigarette.

Minus the cigarette, I have done this. It was not a power thing, though - when I get stalked from the second I come out a door, like Christine Itself is following me halfway down the lane? Yeah, you know... suddenly I maybe forgot something else I wanted to get. Maybe I'll just... start to go back inside for a moment.

Quit farking stalking and park your car somewhere and walk.

We get "stalker" behaviour at the university I'm in, every day.

Sometimes, I make a point of walking along the aisles of cars to see how many "stalker" cars I can get trailing behind me.

/ I walk to university *grin*

BigEd: I swear it's a power thing with some people. "I have the space and wouldn't you like to get it?" Just back out and go. I stopped and was waiting to park but when the driver saw me she got out and stood by her car and lit a cigarette.

I always get stuck behind people like you when I'm trying to leave and you think waiting for that spot is more important than everyone behind you leaving. Making you wait is one of the only pleasant things about shopping.

EvilElecBlanket: Don't even bother anymore. I just park in the back and walk. God knows my pudgy ass needs the exercise. Driving around to find a close spot always takes longer than just walking, anyways.

This.

KhamanV: Minus the cigarette, I have done this. It was not a power thing, though - when I get stalked from the second I come out a door, like Christine Itself is following me halfway down the lane? Yeah, you know... suddenly I maybe forgot something else I wanted to get. Maybe I'll just... start to go back inside for a moment.

Quit farking stalking and park your car somewhere and walk.

Or, conversely, if you're done shopping, back the f*ck out of the space you used and go home and stop acting like it's got your name on it.

musashi1600: I never worry about parking when shopping myself; I rarely get a car involved, especially at this time of year.

Instead, I use these two things in concert:

I highly recommend you don't use TheBus, Honolulu's mass transit, of which you've posted a picture. Of course you probably just meant a bus, not TheBus, in which case, yes, it's much preferable to driving, at least until you have to lug twelve bags around the entire mall since you have nowhere to drop them off.

As for me, I'm follow the "get there before the mall opens and park well away from the mall so I don't feel pressured by a million cars as I leave" school of holiday mall parking.

PoopStain: I almost stole a spot from someone yesterday while I was out shopping because she was so far back from the spot I didn't see her. When I spotted her with her turn signal on, I backed out of the spot I was already halfway into and waved her in.

It took me another five minutes to find a spot farther away, but she was waiting by the door of the BBuy to thank me for not taking her spot. Classy lady. I explained I didn't see her at first and she told me "I know, but most people would have parked."

Well done Sir, that was a kind and decent thing to do

KhamanV

Minus the cigarette, I have done this. It was not a power thing, though - when I get stalked from the second I come out a door, like Christine Itself is following me halfway down the lane? Yeah, you know... suddenly I maybe forgot something else I wanted to get. Maybe I'll just... start to go back inside for a moment.

When getting stalked, walk down a different row, stop at a close car, then laugh and cut across the row to your row.

Why would I want to go to a mall, when Firefox has tabbed browsing for Farking and shopping at the same time?

Seriously, I don't mind parking at the back of the lot and walking. Once inside though, I can't stand mall shoppers. I'm an avid Guy Shopper. I want to get in, find what I came for, and get the fark out as fast as possible. People who poke along, or walk four abreast, or just generally get in the way piss me off.


/don't really like people, they're stupid.

I'm the type that drags any of these three out of their vehicle and beat the hell out of them. All three of these people annoy me 365 days a year. And leap year too

I live across the street from the Southpointe mall in Durham, NC. Especially this time of year, if I need something, I walk. It's helpful considering all the eating that goes on at Christmas parties.

DubyaHater: I live across the street from the Southpointe mall in Durham, NC. Especially this time of year, if I need something, I walk. It's helpful considering all the eating that goes on at Christmas parties.

I had to reread this several times before figuring out that you consider crossing the street to be exercise.

I just park in the far end of the parking lot.

When a car is waiting for my space, they are often so close that I take longer to pull out of the space, b/c I am afraid of hitting the other car.

I am truely sorry for your lots.

Can't remember the last time I stepped foot in a mall. That's not by accident. Interwebs shopping FTW.

/a person can be nice
//people are not

Occam's Chainsaw: Whamdangler: What's a "mall"?

A high value terrorist target / teenage containment center?

Best description I've seen in a while. I haven't been to a maul since we had a sales tax free weekend in August.

/My family is doing Xmas in Vegas.
//Normally just us and the Japs.

BigEd: I swear it's a power thing with some people. "I have the space and wouldn't you like to get it?" Just back out and go. I stopped and was waiting to park but when the driver saw me she got out and stood by her car and lit a cigarette.

I'm usually really good when I see someone waiting for my spot. I'm done shopping--why hang around in my car? Throw the bags in the trunk, get in, & leave. Unless the person waiting for the spot decides I'm taking too long for him & honks at me. THEN I take my time--brush my hair, fix my lipstick, make a phone call...

Mobkey: Ok the stalker one is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm glad I've never seen that here. If I have to go to a mall in the next few weeks I'm not even going to bother, I'll head right to the back corner of the parking lot and walk. Even if it's -30.

You've never seen the stalkers? They get real brazen this time of year. On Friday some guy offered me a ride from the mall entrance to my car if I'd give him my spot. Told him I took the bus.

EvilElecBlanket: Don't even bother anymore. I just park in the back and walk. God knows my pudgy ass needs the exercise. Driving around to find a close spot always takes longer than just walking, anyways.

So much THIS it's not even funny.

/with the wife and four kids in tow.
//Yes, I do most of my shopping at home.

Best bet is always the Sears Auto Center entrance.

Online shopping is the best way. People are crazy at this time of year.

In with the "park in the back and walk" group and it doesn't even have to be the holidays (our mall is busy 365). That is assuming I need to go to the mall for something, which is generally never.

Euell Gibbons: Best bet is always the Sears Auto Center entrance.

Or any Sears entrance for that matter. Avoid the Cinema entrance at all costs.

I think there are a few I can think of that I would like to add. I didn't read TFA, so I apologize for any duplication.

1. The "JRI": This person who is "just running in" parks in the fire lane turns on their flashers to let you know it's only a temporary thing. Oddly enough, I park in the lot, walk in, get my things and leave long before I see the car move.

2. The "Lines Mean Nothing" driver: You might think that these oare those incapable of getting their car within the yellow lines. You would be partially correct, but the most dangerous types are those who drive diagonally through the parking lot at high speeds to get to the front of the lot and damnit if they NEVER look to see who they are cutting off to get there. Like a runaway skiier or snowboarder, they really don't care who they take out with them.

3. The "close parker" (slight Seinfeld nod): These people who park give themselves a wide space to get out of their car. Unfortunately, they ignore that their passenger door is just inches from your car thus preventing an easy entry. Their cars are easy to identify. They have over-sized vehicles, their driver side door is pristine, but their passenger door is dinged to shait! Don't be surprised to see beanie babies and stuffed animals along the back window.

What about the Sqeezer? You get a spot, but the guy next to you (a SUV, of course) has crossed the dividing line. That forces you to cross your own dividing line clearly against your will. Possible the same thing was happening down the lot too so there's a spot suitable for a motorcycle.

Along comes some one in a Buick Regal. They squeeze in there and bless you with a door dent.

I have actually only been to the mall once in the last ten years (not bragging). But work used to be like that. Some people at work considered entering the parking lot as their starting time on the timesheet.

Annoyed at the stalkers? If you've got a decent parking space and some driver is following you just walk down the aisle that one over from where you parked and cut though when you get to your car. The stalker'll never get round to the space before someone else does.

Shyran: In with the "park in the back and walk" group and it doesn't even have to be the holidays (our mall is busy 365). That is assuming I need to go to the mall for something, which is generally never.

Good one. Also, most malls have an unmarked entrance for employees and security. To find it, you have to take a corridor that seems to go to nowhere. Down that alley, you will usually find clean bathrooms, offices, and an exit leading to a seemingly abandoned parking lot.

FTA: City parking has its dibs -the long-held tradition in which residents clear a street parking spot of snow then place a piece of furniture to reserve it for their use

Does this really happen?