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(3 News New Zealand) Obvious New Zealand police hunt tree poisoner, vowing they will find that son of a beech and throw his ash in jail   (3news.co.nz) divider line 55
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zekebullseye 2008-12-13 07:46:34 PM  
That would be oak with me.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 08:04:48 PM  
Ah, their bark is always worse than their bite

 
Dogberry [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 08:05:21 PM  
I seed what yew did there.

 
Dogberry [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 08:06:20 PM  
He probably wasn't very poplar in school.

 
Dogberry [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 08:07:03 PM  
Now the people are left pining for their dead trees.

 
the_cnidarian 2008-12-13 09:23:08 PM  
Behavior like that stems from a deep-seeded need for attention.

 
Cake Hunter [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 09:24:41 PM  
He's the arborist's larchnemesis.

The larch.



The...larch.

 
Con_Authority [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 09:46:16 PM  
Holly crap life's a beech for that poor Ash.

 
TwistedIvory [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 09:56:07 PM  
Normally I don't condone capital punishment, but in this case I agree with whatever is the willow the court.

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 10:29:22 PM  
I'm overwhelmed. It's Bush's fault

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 10:32:48 PM  
Only a dogwood ceder forest for the trees

 
Paris1127 [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 10:36:52 PM  
Where there's a willow there's a way
The son of a birch probably doesn't feel pine
Maybe the tree needed sprucing up
Mesquite

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 10:54:31 PM  
There's no cause fir alarm.

We just maple victory from the jaws of defeat.

 
daychilde [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 12:08:51 AM  
the_cnidarian: Behavior like that stems from a deep-seeded need for attention.

That's probably the root of the problem.

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 12:57:37 AM  
daychilde: the_cnidarian: Behavior like that stems from a deep-seeded need for attention.

That's probably the root of the problem.


it branches out from there

 
pchmm 2008-12-14 12:58:33 AM  
Leave the poor sap alone

 
statsistics 2008-12-14 12:59:30 AM  
He's probably getting sweaty palms by now

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 01:04:00 AM  
+1 subby

I bough to you

 
K3rmy 2008-12-14 01:04:14 AM  
www.ugo.com

You are barking up the wrong tree, compadre.

 
bugmn99 2008-12-14 01:04:50 AM  
They better get him before he leaves the country.

 
Paris1127 [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 01:05:14 AM  
pchmm: Leave the poor sap alone

Yeah he probably doesn't have many buds

 
AnubisMan 2008-12-14 01:06:29 AM  
I hope they stick it to him

 
ertai_lapis 2008-12-14 01:06:36 AM  
Man, that guy's got a serious pear on him; I hope that mango to jail, with his big balsa flapping while Bubba gets to pounding that ash.

/Too much?
//Not enough?

 
statsistics 2008-12-14 01:12:36 AM  
It'll probably eat away at him forest of his life

 
Drubell 2008-12-14 01:12:41 AM  
I'm sure there's someone in prison with an ironwood to offer him.

 
MmmCrime [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 01:14:48 AM  
Not fir nothing, he needs a new hobby.

 
Driver [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-12-14 01:15:44 AM  
ertai_lapis: Man, that guy's got a serious pear on him; I hope that mango to jail, with his big balsa flapping while Bubba gets to pounding that ash.

/Too much?
//Not enough?


When it comes to puns, you're certainly not afraid to go out on a limb are you?

 
d976 2008-12-14 01:16:26 AM  
ertai_lapis: Man, that guy's got a serious pear on him; I hope that mango to jail, with his big balsa flapping while Bubba gets to pounding that ash.

/Too much?
//Not enough?


Little too fruity for my taste buds...but at least you stuck to the core idea without being sappy.

/time to rustle up a midnight snack...I'm thinkin' a dogwood sandwich...

 
GizmoMkI 2008-12-14 01:20:10 AM  
Forget jail, tear that son of a birch limb from limb and throw him in a trunk.

 
pmhauge 2008-12-14 01:20:35 AM  
Everybohdi just relax.

/So I says to Maple, I says...

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 01:28:37 AM  
Sycamore bigger cop on him

 
Kar98 2008-12-14 01:36:09 AM  
ertai_lapis: I hope that mango to jail

The ass pen?

 
lasercannon 2008-12-14 01:43:25 AM  
He may have been a Dendraphiliac and this was a crime of passion.

//I have a genetic disorder that will kill me if I attempt a pun.

 
3rdLostPassword 2008-12-14 02:00:59 AM  
They're plum out of leads so they're a-pealing to the good apples to help prune this behavior.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-12-14 02:10:06 AM  
statsistics: He's probably getting sweaty palms by now

And some serious redwood in the process.

 
Marcintosh 2008-12-14 02:17:15 AM  
stem? STEM?

Oh Farkin A that's a killer.

STEM, he said STEM, did you read that?

BWA HAHAHAHAAHAHA STEM

*catches breath then toddles off laughing to self*

stem Standard Tree Evaluation Metho ah hahahahhaha

 
Arkanaut 2008-12-14 02:25:24 AM  
Alas, he remains at larch.

 
Thats an 827 2008-12-14 02:31:21 AM  
@#$%^&(* hole did that to Treaty Oak in Austin, TX

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-12-14 02:36:26 AM  
I think I'll just sit and Ponderosa this for a while.

 
RemyDuron 2008-12-14 03:25:19 AM  
Cake Hunter: He's the arborist's larchnemesis.

The larch.



The...larch.


I could tell, even from quite a long way away!

 
wbudnick 2008-12-14 04:14:48 AM  
It seems that these puns are very poplar on this forum... I outta leaf this alone and stem off this thread now or else I maple more!

/Came for the Monty Python... Got what I wanted!

 
Pootums 2008-12-14 04:35:20 AM  
Thats an 827: @#$%^&(* hole did that to Treaty Oak in Austin, TX

Loved that tree, at least they caught the farker.

9 years for him (new window)

Thismalford.ci.austin.tx.us

to

thisupload.wikimedia.org

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-12-14 04:35:55 AM  
img218.imageshack.us

 
Ghastly [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 04:40:07 AM  
Tree prisoner? Tabernac, I taught dere were only two!

 
hcetanul 2008-12-14 04:51:46 AM  
while thinking of Ruby, i came here for some Python, and am now leaving not-disappointed.

 
jonathanjo 2008-12-14 06:31:46 AM  

 
johncb76006 2008-12-14 08:24:45 AM  
I knew I shouldn't have peed on those trees.

 
preflash.gordon [TotalFark] 2008-12-14 08:57:24 AM  
Whew, all the good puns have been done. You'd think people would be considerate and leave some forest of us.

 
Belltower 2008-12-14 10:39:40 AM  
preflash.gordon: Whew, all the good puns have been done. You'd think people would be considerate and leave some forest of us.

Yeah, I thought I'd be able to come up with one, but I'm stumped.

 
BartJones 2008-12-14 11:10:20 AM  
This thread is useless without pecans.

 
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