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(London Times) Interesting A man's guide to buying lingerie as a Christmas present. Or, "Do you know how much money I spent to get you to look that cheap?" (SFW)   (women.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 159
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Yoweigh [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 04:36:34 PM  
This article is one big farking fail of an advertisement. It doesn't tell me how to buy lingerie, it tries to tell me what to buy.

 
coco ebert [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 05:23:36 PM  
Um guys, don't buy lingerie for your ladyfriend. Chances are, it'll be too tight leading her to feel fat or alternatively, too loose leading her to think you think her boobs are too small. Or she'll feel slutty or under pressure to dress like that. Go with her and buy the lingerie together.

 
Saborlas [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 05:30:09 PM  
Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

Pulled this with the family a few years back. We all went out to supper in one of the fancy restaurants in our local mall, they stared at the water massage machines in fascination. I went back the next day and got 'em all gift certificates. They appreciated it.

 
graveleye 2008-12-13 06:08:48 PM  
why spend the money on something you're going to want to take off of her immediately.

 
RoyBatty 2008-12-13 06:10:12 PM  
Try it on first, before you buy, that's always my rule!

 
betona 2008-12-13 06:10:41 PM  
graveleye: why spend the money on something you're going to want to take off of her

It's not that you'll take it off, it's how you'll take it off.

 
Rat [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:13:04 PM  
There was a significant other's bench outside Victoria's Secretions for a while at my local mall. It's not there anymore, and I've nowhere to enjoy my Chic-fil-a and a six-pack anymore. I used to make a day out of it.

© good times

 
betona 2008-12-13 06:13:06 PM  
Oh, and I got my wife a new vacuum cleaner.

 
Solty Dog 2008-12-13 06:14:12 PM  
Just get a can of latex paint and draw your own designs.

 
mom_dropped_me 2008-12-13 06:14:35 PM  
graveleye: why spend the money on something you're going to want to take off of her immediately.

Yup! It usually comes off pretty quick. Need to get to the goodies and the snack bar.

 
CrispFlows 2008-12-13 06:14:43 PM  
coco ebert: Um guys, don't buy lingerie for your ladyfriend. Chances are, it'll be too tight leading her to feel fat or alternatively, too loose leading her to think you think her boobs are too small. Or she'll feel slutty or under pressure to dress like that. Go with her and buy the lingerie together.

THIS... It's so much funnier when you find out her fantasies and she of yours. It even opens the mind to even more naughtier and wilder ideas. (Tip for outdoors lovers: Skirts is your best friend.)

Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

Pulled this with the family a few years back. We all went out to supper in one of the fancy restaurants in our local mall, they stared at the water massage machines in fascination. I went back the next day and got 'em all gift certificates. They appreciated it.


This too... Or make it interesting: For that person, a day of shopping or window shopping until they choose their item. This guarantees what they want (unless if it's the kind they're too embarrased to ask for.)

It even opens up the joke of a "Universal Gift Certificate." AKA Cash.

Otherwise, your gift risks being returned for credit. Heads up for this: "Oh! how nice! Where did you get it so I can get my friend one?"

 
iaazathot 2008-12-13 06:16:02 PM  
graveleye: why spend the money on something you're going to want to take off of her immediately.

You're doing it wrong, seriously.

 
PizzaJedi81 2008-12-13 06:17:41 PM  
Best way, and what I'm doing for Xmas this year, is to get them a gift certificate to a lingerie store. (In my case, Victoria's Secret.) That way, she'll get something she thinks is sexy, which, often, is about ten times sexier than what I would have gotten her.

 
Broadside 2008-12-13 06:21:10 PM  
seminole87: Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

My cock?


www.medaille.edu

/Hot monkey

 
Blinxs 2008-12-13 06:21:26 PM  
seminole87: Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

My cock?


I started to laugh so hard that I started to choke.

 
Redheaded Stepchild 2008-12-13 06:22:55 PM  
Getting sexy and comfortable lingerie for your girlfriend/wife means that they will likely wear it on a regular basis, instead of the granny panties.
Getting her scratchy, trashy panties that look like they were pulled off a Tijuana crackwhore means she'll only put them on for special occasions, and she probably won't enjoy it.

Oh, and I agree with the above poster - if you can, have her pick them out with you.

 
Aar1012 [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:24:02 PM  
CrispFlows: It even opens up the joke of a "Universal Gift Certificate." AKA Cash.

I may not be an expert on relationships but I don't think showing up with a card and a twenty would be the best thing for an SO.

 
Ooshatielf [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:24:39 PM  
I probably wouldn't....give her a gift card to a store like that if you really want to get her some lingerie. Let her chose.

 
John Buck 41 2008-12-13 06:25:04 PM  
Blinxs: seminole87: Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

My cock?

I started to laugh so hard that I started to choke.


Likewise.

Fark it, I'm still snickering as I type this.

 
platkat [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:25:17 PM  
PizzaJedi81: Best way, and what I'm doing for Xmas this year, is to get them a gift certificate to a lingerie store. (In my case, Victoria's Secret.) That way, she'll get something she thinks is sexy, which, often, is about ten times sexier than what I would have gotten her.

We have a winner.

 
tiamet4 2008-12-13 06:25:55 PM  
That article was a posterchild for "Worthless without pics".

Maybe I'm not much of a girl, but italicized names of designers with the word "cami" behind them means nothing to me in terms of what the thing looks like.

 
vondoom 2008-12-13 06:26:11 PM  
i like trashy sometimes so i buy her the see through thongs and stuff from walmart.

/10 for 2$

 
Bohemian 2008-12-13 06:26:34 PM  
What really creeped me out was that Walmart was selling very horribly cheaply done "sexy" Christmas lingerie. It was all either red or green and done in the cheapest polyester fabrics possible and slapped together by the cheapest Chinese slave labor. I have one word of advice about this, Don't, just don't, ever.

Nothing says cheap trailer park ho like sexy lingerie from Walmart.

 
jsherp 2008-12-13 06:26:38 PM  
Came for lingerie pics. Leaving satisfied.

/Will check back later.

 
Richard Saunders 2008-12-13 06:26:59 PM  
What do women really want from their underwear?

That's a stupid question. Let's rephrase it... What motivates men to buy a woman underwear?

 
Aar1012 [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:28:05 PM  
Richard Saunders: What motivates men to buy a woman underwear?

Its a useful item that they know woman will use?

 
Richard Saunders 2008-12-13 06:29:16 PM  
Merry Christmas, dear.

Get naked... now.

/yummy, yummy, yummy i got love in my tummy

 
CrispFlows 2008-12-13 06:29:39 PM  
Aar1012: CrispFlows: It even opens up the joke of a "Universal Gift Certificate." AKA Cash.

I may not be an expert on relationships but I don't think showing up with a card and a twenty would be the best thing for an SO.


Think closer to one or two of the following:
www.freepokerfunds.com

or

www.creditcardsaustralia.org

Important to emphasize on spending time together. Women like shopping together. I KNOW that.

 
kryrinn 2008-12-13 06:31:08 PM  
What's so intimidating about a lingerie shop, anyways? It's the whole Victoria's Secret boyfriend test thing that I don't get, why do men suddenly have to veer away?

 
Postal Penguin 2008-12-13 06:31:20 PM  
I take my gf to buy any lingerie because I buy what looks good on the hanger not what looks good on her. We usually buy stuff that she can wear either in the bedroom or if we're going out to a party.

 
Aar1012 [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:31:56 PM  
CrispFlows: Think closer to one or two of the following:

Meh, I'm single so I have nothing to worry about.

/Mock me
//But I get to keep my cash

 
PizzaJedi81 2008-12-13 06:32:22 PM  
Bohemian: What really creeped me out was that Walmart was selling very horribly cheaply done "sexy" Christmas lingerie. It was all either red or green and done in the cheapest polyester fabrics possible and slapped together by the cheapest Chinese slave labor. I have one word of advice about this, Don't, just don't, ever.

Nothing says cheap trailer park ho like sexy lingerie from Walmart.


Funnily enough, some of our fun-time dress up items came from Target. Nicer than Wal-Mart (Duh.) and fairly sexy.

 
halB 2008-12-13 06:32:32 PM  
Assuming you're both under the age of 25, and like the sort of thing, you can find really cute and inexpensive lingerie at hot topic.

 
NYZooMan 2008-12-13 06:33:05 PM  
What do women really want from their underwear? Here are a few home truths for the boys

HAHA!

Yeah, like we do that for THEM!

Good one!

 
Postal Penguin 2008-12-13 06:34:42 PM  
kryrinn: What's so intimidating about a lingerie shop, anyways? It's the whole Victoria's Secret boyfriend test thing that I don't get, why do men suddenly have to veer away?

Because if men stare at something, the women give them dirty looks for being a perv. But if the guy doesn't focus on any one thing, the women give them dirty looks because they know he's trying not to stare at any one thing.

/I personally dont mind going into those stores
//Except the one time I saw a mother with young(8 or 9) daughters and she was picking out thongs for them

 
tshetter 2008-12-13 06:34:53 PM  
JesterGirl: PNSFW (new window) NSFW (new window)
PNSFW (new window) NSFW (new window)
PNSFW (new window) NSFW (new window)
PNSFW (new window) NSFW (new window)


Woohooo

Christmas come early!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, love ya!

 
lizardcowgal 2008-12-13 06:35:36 PM  
Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

Pulled this with the family a few years back. We all went out to supper in one of the fancy restaurants in our local mall, they stared at the water massage machines in fascination. I went back the next day and got 'em all gift certificates. They appreciated it.


You have the right idea, but make sure she isn't staring lovingly at something because she thinks it is cute and wishes it would look good on her, knowing it wouldn't. I wish I looked good in thongs, because I think they are hot, but I know I don't look good in them. So, make sure the staring is really something she wants, not wistful staring.
/my 2 cents

 
phenn 2008-12-13 06:35:39 PM  
Screw lingerie. I've been a good girl and deserve something nicer.

i243.photobucket.com

/hotlinked

 
Megathuma 2008-12-13 06:38:07 PM  
My husband tried to buy for me once...it didn't work very well. Since then every Christmas I buy what I like and then wrap it up as a gift for him. This way he gets me in lingerie and I get lingerie that I'll actually wear.

 
monsieurstabby [TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:39:29 PM  
I love when my boyfriend buys me lingerie. And some of us like the dirtier stuff.

 
lizardcowgal 2008-12-13 06:39:41 PM  
phenn: Screw lingerie. I've been a good girl and deserve something nicer.



/hotlinked


Serious question: Doesn't a whole PVC catsuit thing (is that what they are called) feel like being duct taped into a trash bag? Not trying to knock it, it just looks sooooo uncomfortable.

 
phenn 2008-12-13 06:40:52 PM  
lizardcowgal: Serious question: Doesn't a whole PVC catsuit thing (is that what they are called) feel like being duct taped into a trash bag? Not trying to knock it, it just looks sooooo uncomfortable.

That's actually latex and it's quite comfortable. Just remember to put baby powder on the inside before you get it on or, sister, it ain't coming off. Like ever.

 
lizardcowgal 2008-12-13 06:43:15 PM  
phenn: lizardcowgal: Serious question: Doesn't a whole PVC catsuit thing (is that what they are called) feel like being duct taped into a trash bag? Not trying to knock it, it just looks sooooo uncomfortable.

That's actually latex and it's quite comfortable. Just remember to put baby powder on the inside before you get it on or, sister, it ain't coming off. Like ever.


You learn something new every day - I don't really anticipate myself wearing something like that but I am curious so thanks!

 
Tackboard 2008-12-13 06:43:22 PM  
Not once on that list did I see the suggestion of Clear Heals....

 
beetlemier 2008-12-13 06:45:47 PM  
Blinxs: seminole87: Saborlas: Lingerie = A present that's really for the giver.

Next time you're at the mall, PAY ATTENTION. You'll see her stare longingly at something. THAT is what you get. Something she actually WANTS.

My cock?

I started to laugh so hard that I started to choke.


At his cock or on it?

I hate Victoria's Secret stores. They only have bras for women who want to make their boobs look bigger, none for women who already have big boobs. I adore Fredrick's of Hollywood much better. Underwire support FTW.

Wal-Mart lingerie is fine when you're broke and just want to look pretty for a bit. It all ends up on the floor or lost in the sheets anyway.

/first time slashies
//is this how it's done?
///probably not

 
phenn 2008-12-13 06:48:06 PM  
beetlemier: I adore Fredrick's of Hollywood much better. Underwire support FTW.

Fredrick's gear is much more fun anyway.

/first time slashies
//is this how it's done?
///probably not


I think you did pretty well, acshully.

 
Demonic Goldencellist 2008-12-13 06:52:22 PM  
i33.tinypic.com

 
safety-math 2008-12-13 06:52:40 PM  
I think it's hilariously awkward when I see couples in lingerie stores together. Or just men. They always pointedly avoid eye contact.

 
Elvis_Pelt 2008-12-13 06:52:48 PM  
elvis-pelt.com

Bless you, JesterGirl

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-12-13 06:54:13 PM  
phenn: lizardcowgal: Serious question: Doesn't a whole PVC catsuit thing (is that what they are called) feel like being duct taped into a trash bag? Not trying to knock it, it just looks sooooo uncomfortable.

That's actually latex and it's quite comfortable. Just remember to put baby powder on the inside before you get it on or, sister, it ain't coming off. Like ever.


Bears repeating.

/yogi, booboo, yogi, boo boo, yogi, boo boo, yogi boo boo...

 
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