that's pretty good

Used to be that God wasn't such a pussy. Where's the smite?

CrankMyBlueSax: Used to be that God wasn't such a pussy. Where's the smite?

That's what I want to know. Any god so powerless that he needs puny humans to do his smiting just isn't worthy of worship

Yeah, and saying "Merry Christmas" is an affront to political correctness.

Merry Christmas!

/me edgy

Jesus is Coming, and boy is he pissed!! lol

Jesus saves, and Americans should too!

Stop saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'

translates to:fark the Jews and any other American who is not a Christian.

to which I reply:

You and your so-called god can go blow each other from now til the rapture

I'd like to throw this out there and see what comes back:

Where are the examples of non-christians getting angry/suing/boycotting/generally making a scene about people who say Merry Christmas?

I keep hearing that they exist and that Christians need to rail against them but I don't see any in the media and I don't know of any examples. Seriously, who, out there, is offended by the phrase Merry Christmas?

/thinks it's just Christians playing at being persecuted again.

Bah! Humbug! Everyone knows the proper greeting for Christmass is fark you!

mediaho: Stop saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'

translates to:fark the Jews and any other American who is not a Christian.

to which I reply:

You and your so-called god can go blow each other from now til the rapture

hungryhungryhorus: I'd like to throw this out there and see what comes back:

Where are the examples of non-christians getting angry/suing/boycotting/generally making a scene about people who say Merry Christmas?

I keep hearing that they exist and that Christians need to rail against them but I don't see any in the media and I don't know of any examples. Seriously, who, out there, is offended by the phrase Merry Christmas?

/thinks it's just Christians playing at being persecuted again.

Whoops, looks like I was 2 minutes to late.

/flame on.

The War on Christmas makes baby Jeebus cry.

Well, finally! Today's obligatory christian bashing thread; it's about time!


ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou

/thanks, I feel much better now!

Shorten it a bit?

By wishing you well as it please us,
we're slowly destroying your Jesus.
So give us a look
at your hist'ry book
where Darwin said Dad was a Rhesus.

//Sorry, it's a reflex.

hungryhungryhorus: Seriously, who, out there, is offended by the phrase Merry Christmas?

/thinks it's just Christians playing at being persecuted again.

Whoops, looks like I was 2 minutes to late.

There's a difference between being offended by 'Merry Christmas' (which I'm not) and being offended at the notion that using a more inclusive greeting is an attack on Christians or Christmas. Then I emphasized that by showing what a real attack on Christlamist fascism looks like.

Try to pay attention.

Jim_Callahan: By wishing you well as it please us,
we're slowly destroying your Jesus.
So give us a look
at your hist'ry book
where Darwin said Dad was a Rhesus.

Your rhythm is an affront to Christ in and of itself.

/obligatory

"Shortly after Captain Leslie LeCroix returned home safely from the historic first voyage to Luna, fanatical extremist Muslims from a tiny nation committed a great atrocity against a Christian superpower. Suicide terrorists managed to horribly murder thousands of innocent civilians. The grief and rage of their surviving compatriots must have been at least comparable to what we all feel now.

"Intelligently applied, that much national will and economic force could easily have eliminated every such fanatic from the globe. At that time there were probably less than a hundred that rabid, and by definition they were so profoundly stupid or deranged as to be barely functional. It was always clear their primitive atrocity had succeeded so spectacularly only by the most evil luck.

"We all know what the superpower chose to do instead. It crushed two tiny bystander nations, killing some dozens of actual terrorists, and hundreds of thousands of civilians as innocent as their own dead loved ones had been. The first time it was suggested that nation's leaders had perhaps known about the terror plot and failed to give warning. The second invasion didn't even bother with an excuse, even though that nation had been famously hostile to terrorists. Both nations were Muslim, as the nineteen killers had been: that was enough. The nation nearly all of them had come from remained, inexplicably, almost the only Muslim ally the Christian superpower had in that region.

"The generation of a large planetary web of enraged Muslim extremists was so inevitable it is difficult or us now to conceive of the minds that did it. They were some of the most intelligent and humane people in the history of the planet: What could they have been thinking?

"Of course they were not. They were feeling.

"They were a superpower, and monotheist. No one had ever hurt them remotely that badly, and they were utterly certain no one had any right to hurt them at all. They reverted to tribal primate behavior. Beaten and robbed of your banana by a bigger ape or a more clever chimp... you find some smaller, stupider primate, beat him, and steal HIS banana.

"So doing, they ignited a global religious war that threatened to literally return the whole world to barbarism. The only thing to do then was crush it under the iron and silicon heel of a slightly smarter barbarism, a marginally less bloodstained religion, the best of all possible tyrannies. Nehemiah Scudder became the Holy Prophet of the Lord, smote the false prophets, and darkness fell."

From 'Variable Star', by Robert Heinlein and Spider Robinson, pages 263-264.

I just wanted to post that.

After I read that, my mind is still expecting all the posts here to rhyme. Good stuff it was, though.

/Happy Holidays!

mediaho: Stop saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'

translates to:fark the Jews and any other American who is not a Christian.

to which I reply:

You and your so-called god can go blow each other from now til the rapture

I say Happy Holidays because I don't want to sit there and say, "Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year".

It's much easier to lump them all together.

Wolf Blitzer is a Substitute Teacher: Jim_Callahan: By wishing you well as it please us,
we're slowly destroying your Jesus.
So give us a look
at your hist'ry book
where Darwin said Dad was a Rhesus.

Your rhythm is an affront to Christ in and of itself.

Hey, gimme a break, I'm working at the same time, aligning the syllable counts was about as much effort as I was gonna put into it. And there aren't that many things that rhyme with "Jesus" that make much sense in context.

//And I prefer 9/9/5/5/9 to the 11/11/5/5/11 way because I'm lazy.

DeathByGeekSquad: I say Happy Holidays because I don't want to sit there and say, "Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year".

It's much easier to lump them all together.

The worst part for me is that I'm pretty sure I used to say "Merry Christmas" and now, because of all these goddamned pundits who need something to biatch about, I have to second-guess myself about giving someone a farking holiday greeting. That bothers me more than anything.

mediaho: hungryhungryhorus: Seriously, who, out there, is offended by the phrase Merry Christmas?

/thinks it's just Christians playing at being persecuted again.

Whoops, looks like I was 2 minutes to late.

There's a difference between being offended by 'Merry Christmas' (which I'm not) and being offended at the notion that using a more inclusive greeting is an attack on Christians or Christmas. Then I emphasized that by showing what a real attack on Christlamist fascism looks like.

Try to pay attention.

Haven't you heard? This is the Age of Credulity.

hungryhungryhorus: Haven't you heard? This is the Age of Credulity.

With Asberger's Syndrome and a belief in Biblical literalism on the rise, you and Mr. Ebert may be on to something.

Maybe I'm too tired to look at this carefully enough, but there were too many layers of irony for me to figure out. Just answer me this - is this site pro-Christian or anti-Christian?

I don't know why I'm asking. It's not like I care.

You're right. Political correctness is destroying America.

From this point on, I vouch to no longer be politically correct.

*AHEM!*

.
.
.
.

Trig Palin is a retard.

Galen_Rasputin: Bah! Humbug! Everyone knows the proper greeting for Christmass is fark you!

No, no, no... the proper response to someone saying "Merry Christmas" to you is, "fark you!"

Actually, it's the proper response to everything.

Needlessly Complicated: The War on Christmas makes baby Jeebus cry.

Everything makes baby Jeebus cry, apparently...


/ feel sorry for his mom
// never a moment of quiet...always somebody makin' the kid cry.