"Gimme back the money, punk!"

FTA: "It's just people's offering for the poor,"

Well, what if the robber was poor?

liberalish: FTA: "It's just people's offering for the poor,"

Well, what if the robber was poor?

Then he should have waited his turn.

"Not my yacht fund!"

Is it safe?

You know, my first reaction was to say "WHAT? HE DIDN'T TACKLE HIM?" but the priest knew there wasn't much money in those bags to begin with. It's really not worth risking the ole repeated stabbinski to get a couple bucks back.

But Hegedusich knew something was amiss when he heard the door of the unlocked safe rattling.

I always say the whole purpose of a safe is to keep it unlocked in case people want to come by and put more money in it.

Why get a safe in the first place, you ask? Simple - it's so there's an obvious place to leave extra money. Wouldn't want it piling up on counters and such, getting in the way and all.

/yes, I do believe I should go to bed now, thanks for mentioning it :)

Approves.

/When the pimp's in the crib ma, link it like it's hot.

liberalish: Well, what if the robber was poor?

In my state, the largest private provider of social services is Catholic Charities. That doesn't include the other two diocesan Catholic Charities in the state.

St_Ides: Approves.

/When the pimp's in the crib ma, link it like it's hot.

rofl!! hahaha! i seriously had beer coming through my nose.. !

well done!

No need for Collection Plates anymore. Obama will distribute our wealth to the poor, going forward.
Leaving us only our Change to Believe In.

Zamboro: "Not my yacht fund!"

You're thinking of Protestants.

fenianfark: In my state, the largest private provider of social services is Catholic Charities. That doesn't include the other two diocesan Catholic Charities in the state.

Same in my area. Catholic church raises a few million a year to help the poor. Of course they also just raised about $100,000,000 to built themselves a nice shiny worshipping center right on the lake where everyone can see how charitable they are, so I call it a wash.

Ah, there's that Christian spirit.

Don't leave the safe open...
/DUH?

ninjakirby: Zamboro: "Not my yacht fund!"

You're thinking of Protestants.

fenianfark: In my state, the largest private provider of social services is Catholic Charities. That doesn't include the other two diocesan Catholic Charities in the state.

Same in my area. Catholic church raises a few million a year to help the poor. Of course they also just raised about $100,000,000 to built themselves a nice shiny worshipping center right on the lake where everyone can see how charitable they are, so I call it a wash.

Yeah, but in my state a few million is over $100 million, possibly $150m solely for social services. Yeah, they spend a lot of money on building churches and seminaries, etc. But you cannot find another religion that spends that sort of money on the poor, mostly non-Catholics at that, while not proselytizing to them. Most Protestant denominations (not the Lutherans), including the Salvation Army, give you a good Jesus talk before you receive social services.

Was it an inside job?????????

Anyone else ever notice how the collection plates always start at the back? As I kid, I decided that it was so the minister could keep and eye on it as it filled up and catch anyone who tried to run with it.

Laz Long: Anyone else ever notice how the collection plates always start at the back? As I kid, I decided that it was so the minister could keep and eye on it as it filled up and catch anyone who tried to run with it.

No, I never noticed. I went to Church today and it started at the front.

PoopStain: Since we didn't know what to do after that, we took turns throwing a garbage can on him until he stopped trying to get up. Then we got our copy of Office back.

Can you hit somebody with a garbage can through the Internets?

/Bintorrents

The only thing a church is ever good for is to help the poor. If your gonna steal from them steal from the right safe (the one with more than a couple hundred dollars in it).

/One for the poor, two for the Church
//One for the poor, three for the Church
///etc.

elpepe55: Was it an inside job?????????

This article forgot to mention that the suspect had long hair and was surprisingly speedy even though he was wearing sandals.

soupergenyus: This article forgot to mention that the suspect had long hair and was surprisingly speedy even though he was wearing sandals.

Maybe if he wore sneakers they wouldn't have caught him.

Laz Long: Anyone else ever notice how the collection plates always start at the back?

That would be so that the pewple can't see it coming and sneak out before it gets to them.

/Yes, pewple.

Bart Simpson unavailable for comment.

Being a marathon runner does not make you fast, but you do have a lot of endurance. There's a difference *petpeeve*

fenianfark: Yeah, but in my state a few million is over $100 million, possibly $150m solely for social services. Yeah, they spend a lot of money on building churches and seminaries, etc. But you cannot find another religion that spends that sort of money on the poor, mostly non-Catholics at that, while not proselytizing to them. Most Protestant denominations (not the Lutherans), including the Salvation Army, give you a good Jesus talk before you receive social services.

True that. It's one of the few things about that brand of Christianity I admire.

ninjakirby: fenianfark: Yeah, but in my state a few million is over $100 million, possibly $150m solely for social services. Yeah, they spend a lot of money on building churches and seminaries, etc. But you cannot find another religion that spends that sort of money on the poor, mostly non-Catholics at that, while not proselytizing to them. Most Protestant denominations (not the Lutherans), including the Salvation Army, give you a good Jesus talk before you receive social services.

True that. It's one of the few things about that brand of Christianity I admire.

Right on. People can say what they want about the Catholic Church. However, nobody provides more social services, without strings attached, than they do. When people rant about taxing religion, they seem to forget how much good in the world is accomplished by those same religions.

I am a Catholic and I have devoted my career and my life to promoting social justice and helping the poor. Whenever I get attacked for what the Church has or hasn't done, I just remember that most of those people who do the accusing don't lift a damn finger to help their fellow man.

fenianfark: When people rant about taxing religion, they seem to forget how much good in the world is accomplished by those same religions.

I'm about as firm as possible in my belief that religious organizations should be taxed the same as other political organizations or social clubs or whatever, but even I believe that fully 100% of things done for charity should be deductible whether you're a church or any other organization. If a church gave 100% of the collection to charity they shouldn't be taxed at all. Building million dollar eyesores and spreading hate though... not with my tax dollars please.

I came for "Chariots of Fire" references and am severely disappointed.

fenianfark: When people rant about taxing religion, they seem to forget how much good in the world is accomplished by those same religions.

Oh they should still be taxed.

What the hell's a "sacricity?"

Never touch a man's fries preacher's money.

NedwinHLongfellow: I'm about as firm as possible in my belief that religious organizations should be taxed the same as other political organizations or social clubs or whatever, but even I believe that fully 100% of things done for charity should be deductible whether you're a church or any other organization. If a church gave 100% of the collection to charity they shouldn't be taxed at all.

Exactly. The way it currently stands, there is no oversight on their income. Churches can opt to allow their money to be reviewed by the IRS, but they don't have to. It's just an dark pit where unknown amounts of money is poured, and then things come back out which are sometimes helpful, sometimes useless and just plain harmful.

Did the thief owe him a new stopwatch?

And apparently being a marathon runner is a moot point since the thief got away.

0Icky0: Laz Long: Anyone else ever notice how the collection plates always start at the back?
That would be so that the pewple can't see it coming and sneak out before it gets to them.

Place I used to go, collection was like an coordinated assault. Front, back, both sides... nowhere to run. If that failed, tiny hands with a tin cup would reach out from beneath the pews. Ok, not really.

know who else had long hair and wore sandals???

PLEASE! Think of the children!

ninjakirby: Oh they should still be taxed.

Question, where (if at all) do you draw the line?
In my area there is a wide range of churchs, from mega cathedrals to small, barely able to operate congregations. Taxing these small churches would close many of them down, and most of them serve a specific area or group of people with limited options.

PoopStain: OutsmartBullet: You know, my first reaction was to say "WHAT? HE DIDN'T TACKLE HIM?"

I worked in my college's computer store for a few months and a man stole a whole MS Office suite but we caught him doing it. A colleague and I chased him out onto the street and we did tackle him once we caught him. Since we didn't know what to do after that, we took turns throwing a garbage can on him until he stopped trying to get up. Then we got our copy of Office back.

He had run away by the time the police got there.

Dude, that's harsh. The guy was doing you a favor.

Shouldn't the priest have let the police apprehend the thief, let them bring him back to the church, and continue to give the guy a couple of silver candlesticks as well saying that he forgot a few things? Then, the priest could say that the thief must reform because he owes him big time. Wow, that would be a pretty good story. The thief must have been pretty miserable.

BlippityBleep: Shouldn't the priest have let the police apprehend the thief, let them bring him back to the church, and continue to give the guy a couple of silver candlesticks as well saying that he forgot a few things? Then, the priest could say that the thief must reform because he owes him big time. Wow, that would be a pretty good story. The thief must have been pretty miserable.

Maybe less miserable than you think... Hell, he could become mayor!

jerky on the veldt: BlippityBleep: Shouldn't the priest have let the police apprehend the thief, let them bring him back to the church, and continue to give the guy a couple of silver candlesticks as well saying that he forgot a few things? Then, the priest could say that the thief must reform because he owes him big time. Wow, that would be a pretty good story. The thief must have been pretty miserable.

Maybe less miserable than you think... Hell, he could become mayor!

Whoa, he may also become a successful factory owner, too! I'm so glad that other farkers, too, see how this situation could turn around for the guy.

/lulz

Long ago I worked night shift at a gas station... was there early morning once on Sunday when the preacher came in before church. At that time, some guy ran off with gas... the preacher and some other guy hopped in their cars and chased the guy. Got his license and description. Store wouldn't prosecute (too little stolen), but this was in the South with good ol' boy cops. At about 2am that night, they grabbed this teenager from his house (parents permission) brought him to the store and yelled and threatened him for a good 20 minutes. Embarrassed him, scared him, made him apologize multiple times. Drill SGT's would have been proud. The cops finished what the preacher started - put the fear o gwad almighty into that kid... at least the fear of the law.

Not the only time I saw things like that either.. I'm not exactly 'for' cops pushing boundaries, but there are times when I can appreciate it. Kid didn't go to jail, didn't get a record, but he was given a good lesson 'off the record'.

Hegedusich, 48, a priest for 2 1/2 years...

48 and only a priest for 2 1/2 years? How many times did he have to repeat seminary? Or is priesting his second career?

cantsleep: Question, where (if at all) do you draw the line?

If you're doing charity, you're charity work goes untaxed. The rest doesn't. Prayer services are not a charity. Faith healings are not a charity. Building opulent buildings for your deity is are not a charity. After school basketball, running AA, feeding the homeless and organizing a blood drive is.

Jamieboy: Hegedusich, 48, a priest for 2 1/2 years...

48 and only a priest for 2 1/2 years? How many times did he have to repeat seminary? Or is priesting his second career?

Sometimes the call comes later in life. Our church just got a new minister who was a trial lawyer for 20 years...

PoopStain: OutsmartBullet: You know, my first reaction was to say "WHAT? HE DIDN'T TACKLE HIM?"

I worked in my college's computer store for a few months and a man stole a whole MS Office suite but we caught him doing it. A colleague and I chased him out onto the street and we did tackle him once we caught him. Since we didn't know what to do after that, we took turns throwing a garbage can on him until he stopped trying to get up. Then we got our copy of Office back.

He had run away by the time the police got there.

So, how much was missing from the store when you both got back?

liberalish: FTA: "It's just people's offering for the poor,"

Well, what if the robber was poor?

I've seen the Vatican. They don't need the money.

Inflatable Rhetoric: liberalish: FTA: "It's just people's offering for the poor,"

Well, what if the robber was poor?

I've seen the Vatican. They don't need the money.

Plus I remember, after the present pope spoke to a crowd in Australia about excessive materialism, he adjusted his gold laced silk dress, got on his private jet, and flew back to Rome.

Giving these people money is tacit approval of child molesting, btw. Let them sell some stuff.

ninjakirby: fenianfark: When people rant about taxing religion, they seem to forget how much good in the world is accomplished by those same religions.

Oh they should still be taxed.

The religions always seem to find money that the poor don't need, and put up an opulent shrine, tho. At a minimum, they should pay property tax.
PS Religion = Superstition + Money