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(London Times) Sad Why the proliferation of sexual abuse lawsuits has made men unwilling to volunteer for just about anything where children are in the same area code, let alone the same building. Tag is for this society   (women.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 373
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GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:26:21 PM  
Not terribly surprising. It's a strange world.

 
UNC_Samurai [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:34:07 PM  
And the tragedy of it all is the impact on the honest, hard-working child molesters.

 
DamnYankees [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:39:50 PM  
Is this a worse problem in the UK or the US?

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:46:38 PM  
No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

 
hubiestubert [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:51:58 PM  
It has made my decision to go back to teaching a harder one. Especially for wanting to teach middle school. It's a great age to teach, you have a chance at really making a difference in their lives, but at the same time, it's an age fraught with all sorts of perils and pitfalls, and you need a good team and to be extra careful if you're a male teacher to avoid anything remotely looking like favoritism, let alone anything more shady...

 
sullyman 2008-12-07 07:57:30 PM  
eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

Seems these days, it is the female teachers who are farking students.

/can't blame you for your hesitation

 
tin_man [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:58:20 PM  
UNC_Samurai: And the tragedy of it all is the impact on the honest, hard-working child molesters.

Excellence in posting.

 
TheOther [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 07:59:43 PM  
It's not the threat of a lawsuit that makes me avoid your noisy stinking crotchfruit, twatwaffle.

 
keylock71 2008-12-07 08:01:00 PM  
Laziness and a general dislike of children is what keeps me from volunteering...

 
Con_Authority [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 08:30:19 PM  
eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

There is a teenage girl in my nephew's school that has caused two teachers in the same school to lose their jobs. In each case, she was failing a course, requested extra instruction at the end of the day, then claimed she was inappropriately touched by the teacher.

One was a teacher for 25 years with a perfect record, who has a wife and three kids at home.

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 08:32:55 PM  
Con_Authority:

There is a teenage girl in my nephew's school that has caused two teachers in the same school to lose their jobs. In each case, she was failing a course, requested extra instruction at the end of the day, then claimed she was inappropriately touched by the teacher.

One was a teacher for 25 years with a perfect record, who has a wife and three kids at home.


She must be a real hottie ;)

 
Doctor Funkenstein [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 08:46:13 PM  
img242.imageshack.us
img242.imageshack.us

 
smooshie [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:08:00 PM  
Huh. I volunteer at our local elementary school's chess club along with 4 or 5 other male students, and I used to help out with Field Day and other activities. Just don't touch the kids or make stupid comments, and you'll be fine :P

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:08:23 PM  
img70.imageshack.us

 
hubiestubert [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:20:45 PM  
smooshie: Huh. I volunteer at our local elementary school's chess club along with 4 or 5 other male students, and I used to help out with Field Day and other activities. Just don't touch the kids or make stupid comments, and you'll be fine :P

Even if you don't touch the kids or make stupid comments, you can run into a lot of trouble. To be a male teacher, you really have to watch your Ps, Qs, and be sure that your team knows what you're doing pretty much at all times. They're easy habits to get into, but female teachers have a much easier time of things.

All it takes is an accusation, even unfounded and baseless, and you can lose your job, and have that follow you. It doesn't have to be true, just the albatross that you were accused is enough in a lot of cases to release you. It's something you can protect yourself from, but you have to be aware of your situation a lot more than female teachers.

Life ain't fair, and I'm not saying that it even should be, but the sad fact is, male teachers are in short supply, and that's too bad, because having male role models in the schools, is an important thing.

 
moothemagiccow 2008-12-07 09:20:55 PM  
GaryPDX: Not terribly surprising. It's a strange world.

What a silly and generalized response. I blame Chris Hansen and the starving dogs who subscribe to his programs.

 
40below [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:21:08 PM  
I volunteer in a pediatrics ward. The screening was nothing short of thorough, believe me, with criminal record checks, multiple interviews and more references than you'd believe - I work with some of the vulnerable kids in existence, after all - but they were happy to even a man even volunteer because men are reluctant to even volunteer to do this sort of thing because of the possible issues. I've seen that and I get a different response than the 19-year-old female university students doing this as part of a pre-med practicum, just because I'm older and have kids. Also I'm a dad who's had kids in hospital and remembers what that was like, and people aren't used to seeing guys being genuinely caring about kids - that's usually trouble in this society.

I'm happy to do it and I'm under the eyes of 50 nurses and a dozen doctors when I glove and gown to read stories or paint pictures with a five-year-old cancer patient or hold a three-month-old on a monitor while their parents get out of peds for 20 minutes to have the first coffee they've had there since their kid was born, or even play X-Box with a 15-year-old. The fact that men won't do this sort of work makes me sad, but not at all surprised.

 
baltimoreblonde 2008-12-07 09:21:52 PM  
Con_Authority: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

There is a teenage girl in my nephew's school that has caused two teachers in the same school to lose their jobs. In each case, she was failing a course, requested extra instruction at the end of the day, then claimed she was inappropriately touched by the teacher.

One was a teacher for 25 years with a perfect record, who has a wife and three kids at home.


Ezactly what's wrong these days. The poor, innocent child is believed, no matter what. And the little turds know it, too. Everybody's running scared of Big Bad Parent With Lawsuit.

 
hej 2008-12-07 09:22:12 PM  
Obvious tag is obvious.

 
GungFu 2008-12-07 09:23:14 PM  
Probably why most Western folk go to Asia as teachers to touch kids.

 
Tron Lafontaine 2008-12-07 09:24:36 PM  
What do you think a generation of kids alienated from all loving physical contact will grow up to be like?

 
worlddan 2008-12-07 09:25:13 PM  
hubiestubert: It has made my decision to go back to teaching a harder one. Especially for wanting to teach middle school. It's a great age to teach, you have a chance at really making a difference in their lives, but at the same time, it's an age fraught with all sorts of perils and pitfalls, and you need a good team and to be extra careful if you're a male teacher to avoid anything remotely looking like favoritism, let alone anything more shady...

Everyone I know what me to be a teacher; they are always so impressed by the way I work with kids. I refuse. I wont do big brothers either. I will only deal with kids in the family. Sorry. i value my life and freedom.

Only 17% of American elementary (k-6)teachers are male. Which in my humble opinion shows that 17% of American males are insane.

 
Hrist 2008-12-07 09:25:33 PM  
Its completely risk free for the student.

"Give me an A or I'll turn you in and say that you asked me for sex."

Best case scenario, teacher is fired and not sued by the parents. Worst case scenario, teacher is tried for child molestation and sent to jail for 10+ years.

Best case scenario for the student: Getting an A.
Worst case scenario for the student: Not getting an A and being doubted.

I can't say that its a good idea to punish the student if they can't come up with proof or evidence, because if it DID happen, some girls would be afraid of punishment. Like they already are.

How about a 'study hall' type room that is filmed with video and audio? If you need to have a private meeting with a student, go there. That way if the student turns around and said that you touched her, it'd all be on video. If you did, get the hell out. If the student lied about it, they are immediately expelled.

 
This 2008-12-07 09:26:22 PM  
Tron Lafontaine: What do you think a generation of kids alienated from all loving physical contact will grow up to be like?

The boys? Commitment-phobic players obsessed with getting sex under any circumstances with no possible attachment.

The girls? Hyper-clingy neurotic nutcases who will often deliberately get pregnant so that they'll have somebody who can actually love them unconditionally.

So yeah, pretty much the same as today.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:26:50 PM  
eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

Yeaaahhhh overexagerrate much?

Anyone can file a sexual harassment suit. The number of false convictions is probably just as low as any false charge.

 
CleverGuy81 2008-12-07 09:26:57 PM  
This is why I am teaching post-secondary. Sure, they can still lie and say I am a sexual harasser, but at least it's not jail-time.

 
worlddan 2008-12-07 09:27:38 PM  
Hah! You wouldn't know that I have a Masters degree in Education from the way I typed that post above. Sorry for all the grammatical mistakes. Preview is my friend.

 
Tommy Moo 2008-12-07 09:28:08 PM  
eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

I was a headmaster in the undergrad dorms while I was in grad school. Not quite the same situation, as the students are 18, but I had a few basic guidelines I followed. I was just certain to never be alone with a female in my charge. Whenever I had to intervene in a situation, I made sure the RA from her hall was also present. I never had any accusations to answer to.

If you want to teach, teach. Give Fs to students who deserve them. Offer extra help in group sessions only, on a given day of the week, a la office hours. Keep your desk in plain view of the door so that anyone passing in the hall will see you seated behind it. If any accusations are leveled against you, deny them with a scoff and a knowing smirk, rather than getting nervously defensive. Your reputation will precede you, and the union will stand up for you.

I am sure that teachers' lives have been ruined from false accusations, however the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife comes to mind. If he hadn't gone in the house, she'd have had no opportunity to accuse him of anything.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:29:00 PM  
Hrist: Its completely risk free for the student.

Filing a false report? Defamation by slander?

Yeah. Not quite risk free for the students. But you guys go right on ahead being melodramatic. It's nice to see men acting this way, I'm so used to all the whiny women in my family exagerrating everything.

 
duncanblackthorne 2008-12-07 09:29:10 PM  
No shiat, Sherlock. I'm a single white adult male, I live alone, and I know with certainty that if I even so much as lay one finger on a child for any reason, I'm likely to have my life destroyed over it -- so I go through life hoping that I never encounter a child about to be killed by something, forcing me to decide either to intervene and save the child's life, and perhaps be railroaded with false charges, or walk away and do nothing, and still get completely farked. People suck.

 
worlddan 2008-12-07 09:29:49 PM  
Cerebral Ballsy: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

Yeaaahhhh overexagerrate much?

Anyone can file a sexual harassment suit. The number of false convictions is probably just as low as any false charge.


You don't work in education. That's the way it is. In any profession there is a grapevine and the grapevine doesn't need a legal conviction to ruin your career. I've seen it happen to people I know.

 
letrole 2008-12-07 09:30:15 PM  
not funny

I was recruited to teach them

but i froze.

how much fear in the accustions of a junior tart


too drunk to appreciate the difgfdetence.

 
Vanetia [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:30:49 PM  
Cerebral Ballsy: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

Yeaaahhhh overexagerrate much?

Anyone can file a sexual harassment suit. The number of false convictions is probably just as low as any false charge.


You don't have to be convicted (or even charged) for your life to turn to hell.

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:30:50 PM  
Con_Authority: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

There is a teenage girl in my nephew's school that has caused two teachers in the same school to lose their jobs. In each case, she was failing a course, requested extra instruction at the end of the day, then claimed she was inappropriately touched by the teacher.

One was a teacher for 25 years with a perfect record, who has a wife and three kids at home.


So... moms... how's your little "my precious snowflake" crap working out with your sack of sh*t, spoiled, useless brats, so far?

Eventually, it stops being "look what I did" and has to turn into "look what they can do" or you're a vain, ridiculous joke.

And the ones who are hopeful? Have sense? Are kind? They go through life in an emotional Ziploc bag because the people who spend more time with them than you do are afraid to pat their head, shake their hand or hug them.

So far, the parenting skills that have come to the fore in America in the last twenty years are piss poor and the schools are even worse. Did we really just totally relinquish all control over our kids to a bunch of BS laws put in place by wah wah helicopter moms who suck at Oprah's teat and a pack of kiddie fiddlers? This miasma is sucking the life out of being alive and it's going to either end or end badly.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:30:50 PM  
duncanblackthorne: No shiat, Sherlock. I'm a single white adult male, I live alone, and I know with certainty that if I even so much as lay one finger on a child for any reason, I'm likely to have my life destroyed over it -- so I go through life hoping that I never encounter a child about to be killed by something, forcing me to decide either to intervene and save the child's life, and perhaps be railroaded with false charges, or walk away and do nothing, and still get completely farked. People suck.

oh noooo however do you survive? How does a doctor do his job touching all those young girls! He must be afraid allll the time.

Keep it up.

 
Hrist 2008-12-07 09:31:51 PM  
Tommy Moo: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

I was a headmaster in the undergrad dorms while I was in grad school. Not quite the same situation, as the students are 18, but I had a few basic guidelines I followed. I was just certain to never be alone with a female in my charge. Whenever I had to intervene in a situation, I made sure the RA from her hall was also present. I never had any accusations to answer to.

If you want to teach, teach. Give Fs to students who deserve them. Offer extra help in group sessions only, on a given day of the week, a la office hours. Keep your desk in plain view of the door so that anyone passing in the hall will see you seated behind it. If any accusations are leveled against you, deny them with a scoff and a knowing smirk, rather than getting nervously defensive. Your reputation will precede you, and the union will stand up for you.

I am sure that teachers' lives have been ruined from false accusations, however the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife comes to mind. If he hadn't gone in the house, she'd have had no opportunity to accuse him of anything.


That's not how it works. If parents are rabid and are demanding justice, the media will paint you as a 'foaming-at-the-mouth child rapist just waiting for the right time to strike' and will get everyone riled up. Its in the school's best interest to fire you rather than to even investigate to see if it happened. The school doesn't have to answer for your behavior, all they have to do is kick you out and get on with business.

 
damn it feels good to be a gangsta 2008-12-07 09:32:03 PM  
eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

A great teacher teaches so well that no one gets an F, including complete idiots.

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:32:59 PM  
Cerebral Ballsy: oh noooo however do you survive? How does a doctor do his job touching all those young girls! He must be afraid allll the time.

They bring a female nurse into the room and the child's parent.

That's how.

 
Death by Misadventure 2008-12-07 09:33:06 PM  
I mentor a 5th grader once a week and the only way I considered it was when program coordinator said it wasn't one on one but in a group atmosphere. I'm not having some snot nosed punk get pissed off at me and say I touched his whoha behind closed doors.

 
This 2008-12-07 09:33:26 PM  
Hrist: Its completely risk free for the student.

"Give me an A or I'll turn you in and say that you asked me for sex."

Best case scenario, teacher is fired and not sued by the parents. Worst case scenario, teacher is tried for child molestation and sent to jail for 10+ years.

Best case scenario for the student: Getting an A.
Worst case scenario for the student: Not getting an A and being doubted.

I can't say that its a good idea to punish the student if they can't come up with proof or evidence, because if it DID happen, some girls would be afraid of punishment. Like they already are.

How about a 'study hall' type room that is filmed with video and audio? If you need to have a private meeting with a student, go there. That way if the student turns around and said that you touched her, it'd all be on video. If you did, get the hell out. If the student lied about it, they are immediately expelled.


Unnecessary. The male teachers are already told that they should never be alone with a student, nor ever touch them. Even if a kid is bawling their eyes out in front of you, they tell you not to put a hand on their shoulder (this goes for female teachers too). The teachers who get in trouble are the ones who forget the warnings, or who misjudge the students to be trustworthy.

A monitored study-room would be used by the teachers who already look out for themselves properly (like, they make sure to never be alone with a student), and ignored by the ones who will get into trouble without it.

The simple fact is that nobody ever punishes students for lying anymore, so kids get into bigger and bigger lies and never get caught on it. They get punished for other things, but for some reason nobody bothers to give them consequences for dishonesty.

Cheating gets a zero on the test, at worst. Lying about a teacher "losing" your test gets ignored, but not punished. If a student is caught in a lie, they get punished for what they were caught in - not the lie.

 
All Apologies 2008-12-07 09:33:42 PM  
It's the accusation which is most damaging, people tend to convict on the basis of an accusation.

Molestation accusations should still be taken seriously, but there ought to be a tough penalty for false accusations in order to deter them.

 
GungFu 2008-12-07 09:34:14 PM  
damn it feels good to be a gangsta: A great teacher teaches so well that no one gets an F, including complete idiots.


A great teacher touches your heart and soul, not your penis, boobies or vage.

 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:34:29 PM  
Every once in a while, when I'm feeling down, I'll go to Build-A-Bear in the mall, make a bear, then find a little girl to give it to. It used to cheer me up, but lately I get more weird looks from parents than anything else. I go up to the parents, ask them if it's okay to give their daughter a bear, and they grab the kid closer to them and tell me no thanks. One mother even called security on me. It's a freakin' bear in its little cardboard house clearly marked "Build-A-Bear" & I even have the receipt.

Lighten up people--not everyone's a pedo. Some people just like brightening a little girl's day.

 
Oh_Enough_Already 2008-12-07 09:34:49 PM  
The other element of this ("laws of unintended consequences" wise) is that - because of shiat like this - young girls have next to zero positive male role models in their lives (if, in fact they have any males in their lives at all) and, as a result, never get positive reinforcement based on who they are as people, they never have their very humanity validated and, unfortunately all to often then rely upon their sexuality to get male attention, notice, praise, validation, etc.

Bottom line, all the rules, laws, codes, policies etc that have been enacted to - ostensibly - "protect the children" have created a climate that compels young girls to sexualize themselves if not "victimize" themselves and/or set themselves up for victimization long before any male could ever have a chance to.

Well done, society.

 
JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm 2008-12-07 09:34:54 PM  
So you get 12-year-olds with broken legs crying for their mothers, with staff unable to give them a hug,

I don't think that there is anything wrong with comforting someone with a broken leg while waiting for the ambulance to come. It is less a hug than it is carrying them because they can't walk.

and five-year-olds putting sunscreen on each other because the teachers have been instructed not to touch them.

But yeah, no way in hell would I put sunscreen on a kid that was not my own, and even then I would probably feel weird doing it in public.

 
The 'Brew 2008-12-07 09:35:50 PM  
I'm an 18 year old male, and I until recently worked with kids all the time. For three years, I worked with kindergartners, a year of fifth graders, then co-ran a music program for students in k-6, all at my local jewish sunday school. Granted, plenty of kids male and female worked there, so it was a little less suspicion.

/kindergartners are the perfect age to teach
//old enough to talk with, but rarely old enough to be disrespectful
///from 1st-2nd grade on, watch out

 
HoboSong [TotalFark] 2008-12-07 09:35:55 PM  
brigid_fitch: Every once in a while, when I'm feeling down, I'll go to Build-A-Bear in the mall, make a bear, then find a little girl to give it to. It used to cheer me up, but lately I get more weird looks from parents than anything else. I go up to the parents, ask them if it's okay to give their daughter a bear, and they grab the kid closer to them and tell me no thanks. One mother even called security on me. It's a freakin' bear in its little cardboard house clearly marked "Build-A-Bear" & I even have the receipt.

Lighten up people--not everyone's a pedo. Some people just like brightening a little girl's day.


Whatever, pedo.

 
worlddan 2008-12-07 09:37:46 PM  
Oh_Enough_Already: The other element of this ("laws of unintended consequences" wise) is that - because of shiat like this - young girls have next to zero positive male role models in their lives (if, in fact they have any males in their lives at all) and, as a result, never get positive reinforcement based on who they are as people, they never have their very humanity validated and, unfortunately all to often then rely upon their sexuality to get male attention, notice, praise, validation, etc.



Color me cynical but my extensive experience in working in female-dominated professions is that the consequence is not unintended at all: it is the deliberate point.

 
Hrist 2008-12-07 09:38:51 PM  
damn it feels good to be a gangsta: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

A great teacher teaches so well that no one gets an F, including complete idiots.


Teaching the info isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is keeping people interested in things. There are plenty of people that make shiatty grades simply because they'd rather daydream about whatever boy or girl they're currently attracted to, even if they know the info.

 
Rapmaster2000 2008-12-07 09:39:05 PM  
damn it feels good to be a gangsta: eddyatwork: No kidding. People have told me that I'd be a great teacher but I know that all I'd need is to give one an F and then I'd get a sexual harassment suit and my life is ruined.

A great teacher teaches so well that no one gets an F, including complete idiots.


Great teachers can't fix lazy and stupid.

 
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