Kudos for the Linda Hunt reference.

That's the best they can do in a "strange request" list?

Would it be a threadjack if I respectfully submit you lot can do better here:
|
V

I once asked room service for two jars of sliced dried beef, one tub of cream cheese, one jar of pickle spears, toothpicks, and a bottle of SKYY vodka.

They had it all for me in less than half an hour, and didn't charge me a whole lot more than retail.

I don't remember the name of the hotel, but it was one of the nicer ones near the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport.

The beef, cream cheese, and pickles make excellent appetizers. Or, in my case, a whole meal ;)

-football helmet filled with cottage cheese
-nude photos of Bea Arthur

I like to request hotel rooms on the upper floors with a window I can open...

I ask for wacky, unpredictable things because that's a reflection of my personality. I am such a random person. Watch this:

MONKEY CHEESE TIRE BITER

You didn't expect that, did you? Sometimes I just moonwalk everywhere. It's not the most efficient way to get someplace but I got to be me.

ultraholland

-football helmet filled with cottage cheese
-nude photos of Bea Arthur


Bea Arthur? Outstanding!


(Did we just Maudewin another thread?)

I worked in a hotel several years ago(before email) and the stupidest request I ever got was to send a telegram. It was like the guy thought we had one of those clicky-clacky devices like out of an old western in the back room or something. He was offended when I suggested calling Western Union.

Can I get a non smoking room that smells like an ashtray, some toilet paper that resembles 220 grit sandpaper, and sheets on the bed with something crusty on them?
No?
Well you certainly had it all lined up for me last time I stayed there.

Englebert Slaptyback: (Did we just Maudewin another thread?)

I have never heard that term before.

I like it ;)

Came for a Linda Hunt pic and leaving disappointed

A french maid in need of a sound spanking is an unusual request since when?

ultraholland: -football helmet filled with cottage cheese
-nude photos of Bea Arthur

You beat me to it...

Room service....yeah,I need an AK-47 and two thigh masters please.

SpinStopper

Englebert Slaptyback: (Did we just Maudewin another thread?)

I have never heard that term before.

I like it ;)


Thanks! I made it up a year or two ago. From my profile:

Maudewin's Law: As a Fark discussion grows longer, the probability of someone mentioning Bea Arthur approaches one.


:-)

I used to work front desk in a posh hotel in the Niagara area. The best request I ever got was from Gary Busey. He needed a Waterpik to "irrigate his nose".

/True story

Englebert Slaptyback: (Did we just Maudewin another thread?)

Yes, and I was glad to be a part of it.

overheard a couple who were mad as heck the hotel had a porn movie channel and free hbo. the manager said they'd block the channels but the couple wanted the tv removed from the room.

Is subby suggesting that coconuts migrate?

"I would like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a mans hat"

A puppy, three potted plants, a jar of Vaseline, and more than a little luck.

Linda Hunt? Ewwww...

I want a Waldorf Salad.

I would like to have 2 1/2-way with Linda Hunt and the Tiny Avenger.

I worked the overnight shift at a couple of crappy $30/night motels next to the Anaheim Convention Center (Magic Lamp and Magic Carpet Inns) about 15 years ago - I had plenty of people ask for hookers and/or drugs. And free Disneyland tickets.

Thanks for that JesterGirl. Awesome movie.

A Saudi Shiek once called me in room service and asked for a saddle of gazelle.

I informed him that we were out of buns and then hung up on him.

Later, when my manager was able to stop laughing, she suspended me for a week.

Linda Hunt is great in 'Silverado'.

I request a box of condoms, a few large jugs of corn oil, and a plastic kiddie pool.

simpsonfan: I want a Waldorf Salad.

Great episode of Fawlty Towers.

/Nothing is obscure.

Came for Four Rooms reference.
Left satisfied!

You mean vaseline a spatula and a bumper jack didn't play into it???

My shaven German Shepard, half-naked boy scout, left in the closet with a can of Crisco request never even gets fulfilled. They can never find the Crisco.
Sucks to be me.

JesterGirl: A block of wood. Three nails. A ball of twine. A bucket... of ice. A doughnut. A club sandwich. And... a hatchet!
"A hatchet as sharp as the devil
himself," is what I asked for.

awesome..simply awesome

Three twenty-meter lengths of rope, half a dozen pulleys, a power drill, a tub of butter and a road cone.

A three course meal at 4AM isn't strange, there is probably much more to the story. Perhaps the person operated on a different sleep schedule, and that was their dinnertime? Perhaps it was a three course breakfast and they had an early flight? Maybe they had just smoked a huge bowl while hanging out of their room window and required food to satisfy their munchies?

Those aren't strange.

A length of rope, vaseline, carrots, a riding crop, and edible panties is strange.

Again the oddest things leap out at me:

"Best Western concierge Ray Mortlock ...

Do they have a Night Train sommelier, too?

'I want you to kill my boss.'

'I'm sorry, we can't kill your boss.'

'Come on, I want you to kill my boss!'

'OK, for a limited time we will kill your boss.'

Woot! Thank you, JesterGirl
that is what I was waiting for!

simpsonfan: I want a Waldorf Salad.

There is a documentary on BBC2 this evening about Squawking Bird, the leader of the Blackfoot Indians in the 1860s. This starts at 8:45 and goes on for approximately three-quarters of an hour. Is it possible for me to reserve the BBC2 channel for the duration of this televisual feast?

And a Spanish omelet, with fresh peas.

Came in for Steve Martin reference ... disappointed that I had to make it this late in the thread

/ha ha ... "getaway car"

- A toilet paper roll, a corkscrew and some tinfoil.
- An avocado, an ice pick and a snorkel.
- Sour cream and onion chips with dip, beef jerky, peanut butter, chocolate Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, two big pizzas with everything, whole lotta water, and...Funyuns.

approves

DeathByGeekSquad: and edible panties is strange.

"...size 48, if you please."

/Sorry, I don't think I can finish these.

People have weird fetishes. Some have a thing for used Japanese panties, some have a thing for the Shadout Mapes. Go figure!

Jestergirl, I almost did a spit-take. Nicely correlated. One of the funniest movies ever made. Don't misbehave.

Linda Hunt can kiss my ASS!!!

John Buck 41: Linda Hunt is great in 'Silverado'.

This.

/fiance thinks she's creepy
//he's lame

boonfarker: Came in for Steve Martin reference ... disappointed that I had to make it this late in the thread

/ha ha ... "getaway car"

this isn't for 'hostage demands', fcol.

/want the letter "M" stricken from the english language