Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, the bartender says, "It is my opinion you bear
a strong equine resemblance due to your elongated facial architecture."

I can has muy dinero?

I would like some of what the judges were smoking when they judged that to be funny at all, much less the best.

Why don't you find my joke funny, Sergeant?!

Wow, that's dumb.

Also, Kenosha.

I heard that joke on TotalFark. Is that guy a TFer?

"waiter, do you know how to make a fruit cordial?"



/be nice to him, I guess...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mr. T.

Mr. T who?

I PITY DA FOO' WHO DON'T KNOW WHO MR. T IS

/gimme my $3000

It's not so dumb. The abrupt ending defuses the tension of the story that proceeds it and it makes you laugh in relief. You're not really laughing at the joke, you're laughing at yourself for getting caught up in a silly story about a man being pursued by funeral hardware.

Many years ago I won a free game from some website with a stupid joke like that. I guess I should have set the bar higher and gone right to Reader's Digest.

/What did one casket say to the other?
//Was that you coffin?

Blue Staters, and their humor, will take back the White House in 2012.

/bet on it
//joke on it

I don't get it.

If your average reader is 76 and spends all his time talking about how they are pissed Maude isn't on anymore, this may be the best joke you can give them.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

I should have entered this one from my little sister: "What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? Dam."

Chariset: It's not so dumb. The abrupt ending defuses the tension of the story that proceeds it and it makes you laugh in relief. You're not really laughing at the joke, you're laughing at yourself for getting caught up in a silly story about a man being pursued by funeral hardware.

Oh, now I get it

/still unfunny

Chariset: It's not so dumb.

Yes, it is.


The abrupt ending defuses the tension of the story that proceeds it and it makes you laugh in relief.

No, it doesn't.


You're not really laughing at the joke

Okay, this much is true.


you're laughing at yourself for getting caught up in a silly story about a man being pursued by funeral hardware.

No, I'm not.

EvilElecBlanket: I should have entered this one from my little sister: "What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? Dam."

My niece is nine, and her favorite joke is:

"What is Moby Dick's father's name?"

"Poppa Boner!"

I don't think she even remotely understands it's a penis joke, but she knows it's somehow dirty, and therefore, it's hilarious.

Sgt Otter: I don't think she even remotely understands it's a penis joke, but she knows it's somehow dirty, and therefore, it's hilarious.

That made me LOL. I think I'll email it to my sister. The step-mom is already mad at me.

/Obligatory

If the guy who won actually reads Reader's Digest, they owe him more than 3-grand.

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

SlightlyManic: /What did one casket say to the other?
//Was that you coffin?

See, using casket like you did would have made the joke halfway funny.
Coffin vs. coughing: groan.
Casket vs. coughing: mild haha.

that was terrible

Chariset: It's not so dumb. The abrupt ending defuses the tension of the story that proceeds it and it makes you laugh in relief. You're not really laughing at the joke, you're laughing at yourself for getting caught up in a silly story about a man being pursued by funeral hardware.

I knew a fella a long time ago that was a master at the "Shaggy dog" story. He could have made this joke funny. It was all in the delivery.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: No, I'm not.

Oh, go count something.

The world is like a bowl of jellybeans...

nobody likes the black ones :(

/3000 plz.

elvisaintdead: Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, the bartender says,

"It is my opinion you bear
a strong equine resemblance due to your elongated facial architecture
Why the long face?"

I can has muy dinero?

Fixed that for you...

My god, I heard that dumb joke when I was 10.

SJKebab: /Obligatory

Haha. This.

what do you call a dog with no legs?



it doesn't matter, he's not going to come.

van1ty: The world is like a bowl of jellybeans...

nobody likes the black ones :(

/3000 plz.

More jokes like that would have made Forrest Gump watchable.

/What's the difference between a Black Man and a Large Pizza Hut Pizza?

Okay, this is one I know the origin of. Chris from Halo Down. If all goes well you will know that band next year.

So, Jesus walks into the office of a motel and sets a hammer and three nails down. "Can you put me up for the night?"

In the meantime, Mlodzik's got plans for his windfall.

"I suppose I'll spend it on taxes... I'll give it back to God."

Clearly this man is an Obama supporter.

;)

What's black and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre.

My favorite joke:

Setup: In conversation, drop this little joke. Make sure you aren't in the process of telling jokes, or else it doesn't really work. It could be around friends, swapping stories and such.

"Oh, did you guys hear? There was this baby born at that was born without any eyelids"



"Yeah, apparently the doctors used his foreskin to give him eyelids."



"No no, the baby's fine. He's just a little cockeyed"

Two men walk into a bar. There they receive total consciousness.

I thought it was cute. I chuckled.

Excen:
More jokes like that would have made Forrest Gump watchable.

/What's the difference between a Black Man and a Large Pizza Hut Pizza?

a pizza can feed a family
/ba dum!

how do you starve a black man?

Readers Digest.
Average age of reader: 71 years old.

Enough said.

FTFY"...but he had this nice, slow delivery."

I hate it when people take all day to tell a joke that everyone's heard a million times before. They always seem to be the type of people that grab your arm when their telling the joke too. As if the joke is so funny that I might fall over from laughing so hard.

I think I'm going to start poking those people in the eye. That seems like a reasonable response to me.

A frog walks into a bank. He walks up to the loan agent and says, "Hello, sir. My name is Kermit Jagger, and I would like to apply for a loan today." The agent says, "Very well, sir. My name is Mr. Patrick Black, and I would be glad to assist you. By the way - Jagger is an unusual last name. Are you related to the rock star, Mick Jagger?" The frog says, "Why, yes I am. He is my father."
Mr. Black says, "Very good, sir, but if you'd like a loan, I'm still going to have to see some collateral."
The frog takes from his waistcoat pocket a little porcelain pink elephant wrapped in cellophane. He gives it to Mr. Black and says, "Take this to your bank president. He'll know what to do."
Mr. Black takes the elephant to the bank president and explains the situation. He asks, "What am I supposed to do with this little thing?"
The bank president says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan. His old man's a rolling stone."

/bows
//swats away tomatoes

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar, bartender says, "We don't serve breakfast here."

/3k plskthx

van1ty: The world is like a bowl of jellybeans...

nobody likes the black ones :(

/3000 plz.

HAW!! Wow, half a glass of wine, and I LOLed at that. And I'm no lightweight.

I can haz soshul life?

Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one of them was assaulted... peanut.

How do you make a white girl pick cotton?

Light the string on fire.

Makh: My god, I heard that dumb joke when I was 10.

Hasn't everyone heard a joke that uses the "coffin"/"coughin'" pun? You know, like those popular kid-oriented ones centered around vampires? I can't believe something so common won $3000.

lol?

I only know two jokes:

Two peanuts are walking down the street and one of them was assaulted.

Two muffins are in an open and ones says "boy, is it hot in here" and the other says "holy shiat a talking muffin"

The Dogs of War: Excen:
More jokes like that would have made Forrest Gump watchable.

/What's the difference between a Black Man and a Large Pizza Hut Pizza?

a pizza can feed a family
/ba dum!

how do you starve a black man?

Put his food stamps in his work boots!

What's the difference between a snow tire and a black man?