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(Cracked) Amusing The 25 worst rapper names of all time   (cracked.com) divider line 130
More: Amusing  
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11955 clicks; posted to Music » on 04 Dec 2008 at 8:35 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Andric 2008-12-04 08:40:42 AM  
What I really want to know is ... what are the 32 worst Cracked lists of all human history since humans kept records?

 
seabass242 2008-12-04 08:43:14 AM  
I always thought "Cunninlynguists" was a pretty good rap name. Shouldn't be on that list.

The rest of them are very deserving.

 
michaeld5 2008-12-04 08:43:39 AM  
I thought we agreed there wouldn't be anymore Cracked submissions??

Having said that, no bad rap list is complete without Snow.
The white rapper from Connecticut who had a Jamaican accent.

www.sonicnotes.com

Geez, you people will buy anything.

 
olapbill 2008-12-04 08:48:19 AM  
"don't be hatin'"

images.salon.com

 
Andric 2008-12-04 08:49:04 AM  
Also... I'd just like to take this opportunity to express my annoyance with the trend of saying "best/worst *** of ALL TIME". This really bothers me. Might as well talk about "smelliest turds that I pooped out this morning OF ALL TIME!!!"

/bored

 
marius2 2008-12-04 08:52:07 AM  
michaeld5:
Having said that, no bad rap list is complete without Snow.
The white rapper from Connecticut Canada who had a Jamaican accent.


I am glad this list had mostly groups I had actually heard of, I was expecting it to be completely underground dumb ass rappers. Instead they seem to be mostly high paid... dumb ass rappers.

 
fudgefactor7 2008-12-04 08:53:28 AM  
I have a better list of dumb rapper names: all of them.

Why can't they just call themselves by the name that's on their birth cert or driver's license? And you know, the "harder" sounding their rapper name, the more lame their real name has to be.

 
Go Fast Turn Left [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 08:55:39 AM  
michaeld5: I thought we agreed there wouldn't be anymore Cracked submissions??

Having said that, no bad rap list is complete without Snow.
The white rapper from Connecticut who had a Jamaican accent.

Geez, you people will buy anything.


Yeah...but pure black people is all that he knows. He said so himself.

 
kungfu jesus with a side of lime 2008-12-04 08:57:26 AM  
i got through 10... then i saw something shiny and closed the link... because it sucked...

 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 08:58:02 AM  
michaeld5: I thought we agreed there wouldn't be anymore Cracked submissions??

look to your right. they're paying advertisers. AND they suck.

 
Cervantes3773 2008-12-04 08:59:02 AM  
Can't read this list, Cracked is blocked, but I'm pretty sure T-Pain should be on there.

/With a name as "hard" as T-Pain, you could at least pretend to be hard instead of crooning through autotune.

 
Go Fast Turn Left [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:05:24 AM  
fudgefactor7: Why can't they just call themselves by the name that's on their birth cert or driver's license?

Yes, like Michael Bolton, Shania Twain, Patty Loveless, Jennifer Aniston, any of the Ramones, Ray Charles, George Michael, Bret Michaels, Shawn Michaels, Vince Neil, Ozzy Osbourne, Lou Diamond Phillips, Marilyn Monroe, Wink Martindale and Hank Wiliams, to name a few.

 
Krymson Tyde 2008-12-04 09:15:54 AM  
I was intrigued when I thought this was a list of the worst raper names. Now, not so much.

Go Fast Turn Left: fudgefactor7: Why can't they just call themselves by the name that's on their birth cert or driver's license?

Yes, like Michael Bolton, Shania Twain, Patty Loveless, Jennifer Aniston, any of the Ramones, Ray Charles, George Michael, Bret Michaels, Shawn Michaels, Vince Neil, Ozzy Osbourne, Lou Diamond Phillips, Marilyn Monroe, Wink Martindale and Hank Wiliams, to name a few.


Why you gotta be hatin' on Wink, yo?

 
RantCasey 2008-12-04 09:16:50 AM  
OLD ASS LIST

 
NASAM 2008-12-04 09:16:53 AM  
What? No Puffy/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy or whatever the hell that douche is calling himself these days?

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:20:46 AM  
Best rap name? Ol' Dirty Bastard, aka ODB, aka Dirt McGirt, aka Big Baby Jesus.

 
mr iso [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:24:25 AM  
www.penandpixel.com
/linked like it's hot

 
sweetlenny 2008-12-04 09:24:51 AM  
old cracked lists are old.

 
Ant 2008-12-04 09:25:50 AM  
Andric: What I really want to know is ... what are the 32 worst Cracked lists of all human history since humans kept records?

Hey! I like my comedy in list form.

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:30:44 AM  
fudgefactor7: I have a better list of dumb rapper names: all of them.

Why can't they just call themselves by the name that's on their birth cert or driver's license? And you know, the "harder" sounding their rapper name, the more lame their real name has to be.


I think they have issues with how other children treated them on the playground for being named sissy or lame names like Tracy Lauren Marrow. Jeez, did Ice-T's mom think she was having a girl and refuse to change her mind or was it the whole "Boy Named Sue" scenario? To be fair, Ice-T doesn't sound very tough but I suppose it's better than Crystal Light or Value Brand Drink Mix.

 
Bondidude 2008-12-04 09:31:07 AM  
michaeld5: Geez, you people will buy anything.

A licky-boom-boom-down!

/was included on the second page btw
//tied with Vanilla Ice and some other people

 
chimp_ninja [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:42:32 AM  
TFA: Lil' Scrappy is really just a step away from Mr. Woofles.

Well played.

(Re: Del) You've got to assume that doesn't do well in battles.

The author is obviously unfamiliar with the Intergalactic Rap Battle.

 
4NSpy 2008-12-04 09:43:06 AM  
god I hate the swollen members. They were always being played on Vancouver radio. Sorry rest of Canada, we vancouverites apologize for them

 
Fact Man 2008-12-04 09:44:18 AM  
My list:

1. All of them.

How anybody takes rappers seriously is beyond me.

 
Where light is spelled LITE 2008-12-04 09:46:45 AM  
I work third shift and submitted 12 links and this is the one that gets greenlit... damn I have no faith in my subby skilz

/spelled skills with a z cause I'm hardcore gangsta
//just like the 69 Boyz
///facepalm

 
chimp_ninja [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:49:54 AM  
Cervantes3773: Can't read this list, Cracked is blocked, but I'm pretty sure T-Pain should be on there. With a name as "hard" as T-Pain, you could at least pretend to be hard instead of crooning through autotune.

Also, you could avoid looking like a cross between Mr. T. and the Cat in the Hat.

 
mitchcumpstein 2008-12-04 09:51:07 AM  
Fact Man: My list:

1. All of them.

How anybody takes rappers seriously is beyond me.


www.wordsound.com

You should definitely take MC Paul Barman seriously. Seriously.

 
chimp_ninja [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 09:51:30 AM  
Fact Man: How anybody takes rappers seriously is beyond me.

Fortunately, you're a full-time third-tier Fark Troll who everyone takes Very Seriously.

 
taylonr 2008-12-04 09:56:25 AM  
Came for the Blazin Hazin reference


/left disappointed

 
TruckSlut 2008-12-04 09:59:32 AM  
FunkOut: To be fair, Ice-T doesn't sound very tough but I suppose it's better than Crystal Light or Value Brand Drink Mix.

You owe me a new keyboard

 
Raug the Dwarf 2008-12-04 10:08:49 AM  
Go Fast Turn Left: fudgefactor7: Why can't they just call themselves by the name that's on their birth cert or driver's license?

Yes, like Michael Bolton, Shania Twain, Patty Loveless, Jennifer Aniston, any of the Ramones, Ray Charles, George Michael, Bret Michaels, Shawn Michaels, Vince Neil, Ozzy Osbourne, Lou Diamond Phillips, Marilyn Monroe, Wink Martindale and Hank Wiliams, to name a few.


i121.photobucket.com


Don't forget Englebert Humperdink

 
bnobody 2008-12-04 10:11:05 AM  
mitchcumpstein
Fact Man: My list:
1. All of them.
How anybody takes rappers seriously is beyond me.

You should definitely take MC Paul Barman seriously. Seriously.


Agree
/letting my bleeding brain grow

 
unfarkingbelievable 2008-12-04 10:16:09 AM  
the only one I disagree with is Eminem. I think that's clever and instantly memorable.

 
jaylectricity [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 10:23:19 AM  
No Dana Dane, Melle Mel, or Larry Larr?

 
em etib 2008-12-04 10:23:31 AM  
Love 30 Rock....

racy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: The Game?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: T.I.?
Tracy: It not happenin.
Jack: Super head?
Tracy: No can do.
Jack: Fabulus?
Tracy: Wont do.
Jack: Redonkeykong?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: MC Skat Kat?
Tracy: What?
Jack: HoMONKulus?
Tracy: Uh-uh.
Jack: Raw Dog?
Tracy: Hell no! Me an his beef go way back. We were both on cast members on Nickelodeon show called "Ray-Ray's Garage."

 
DjangoStonereaver [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 10:25:10 AM  
michaeld5: I thought we agreed there wouldn't be anymore Cracked submissions??

Having said that, no bad rap list is complete without Snow.
The white rapper from Connecticut who had a Jamaican accent.
Geez, you people will buy anything.


And obviously you won't read anything....

#20 on the list, genius.

/I always check out Cracked links; they are far funnier than they should be

 
Kyro [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 10:34:53 AM  
There's a guy in my office named Bubba Sparks. No joke.

 
generaltimmy 2008-12-04 10:36:03 AM  
Cervantes3773: Can't read this list, Cracked is blocked, but I'm pretty sure T-Pain should be on there.

/With a name as "hard" as T-Pain, you could at least pretend to be hard instead of crooning through autotune.


not a rapper...not quite a singer either, but he tries with his computer thingee

 
Fact Man 2008-12-04 10:38:28 AM  
chimp_ninja: Fact Man: How anybody takes rappers seriously is beyond me.

Fortunately, you're a full-time third-tier Fark Troll who everyone takes Very Seriously.


Wow, you take much offense to people insulting precious little rappers.

So you take them seriously? Really? The ridiculous outfits, the almost unintelligible English? The fact that they're proud of being the scum of society? The fact that they have no artistic skills beyond looking like a badass staring straight at the camera showing off their "bling" (every CD cover)?

What other nonsense do you like? Just curious.

 
ltrain2 2008-12-04 10:43:04 AM  
Fact Man: Wow, you take much offense to people insulting precious little rappers.

So you take them seriously? Really? The ridiculous outfits, the almost unintelligible English? The fact that they're proud of being the scum of society? The fact that they have no artistic skills beyond looking like a badass staring straight at the camera showing off their "bling" (every CD cover)?

What other nonsense do you like? Just curious.



Wow. If you're trolling, then whatever...

If you're not, you're just stupid. Ever heard of Common? Lupe Fiasco? Talib Kweli? Wordsmith? Chances are they're more talented than your favorite musicians are.

yes, Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne and everyone else you see on tv and hear on the radio are garbage....but there are plenty of talented hip hop artists out there. You're just too close-minded to figure that out.


Go back to listening to U2 and Coldplay.

 
Hammster 2008-12-04 10:43:22 AM  
Pudgee the Phat Bastard?

 
hamiltonjdavid [TotalFark] 2008-12-04 10:46:52 AM  
www.mspmusicexpo.com

 
Fact Man 2008-12-04 10:48:47 AM  
ltrain2:
yes, Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne and everyone else you see on tv and hear on the radio are garbage....but there are plenty of talented hip hop artists out there. You're just too close-minded to figure that out.


Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne and 50 Cent and all the other clowns are all I see. Tell me, when this crap is the popular representation of the craft, why would I dig around to find the "talented" ones?


Go back to listening to U2 and Coldplay.


I don't listen to them either. But tell me, have you dug around to see if there's any good stuff by them? Maybe looked into early recordings when they were trying to make it as a band, so you're not so closed-minded that you think they just suck overall without investigating them fully?

 
ltrain2 2008-12-04 10:54:04 AM  
Fact Man: ltrain2:
yes, Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne and everyone else you see on tv and hear on the radio are garbage....but there are plenty of talented hip hop artists out there. You're just too close-minded to figure that out.

Soulja Boy and Lil Wayne and 50 Cent and all the other clowns are all I see. Tell me, when this crap is the popular representation of the craft, why would I dig around to find the "talented" ones?


Go back to listening to U2 and Coldplay.

I don't listen to them either. But tell me, have you dug around to see if there's any good stuff by them? Maybe looked into early recordings when they were trying to make it as a band, so you're not so closed-minded that you think they just suck overall without investigating them fully?


And have you ever actually listened to Common? Lupe? These guys are poets more or less, storytellers...they are brilliant at what they do.

Listen to Common-I used to love her, you have to listen to it 2-3 times to appreciate the genius of it.

/heed your own advice my friend.

 
Fact Man 2008-12-04 10:59:42 AM  
ltrain2:
/heed your own advice my friend.


Well my advice was sort of pointing out to you that when you see a popular representation of a certain artist/art form, you pretty much assume that it's a good summation of the artist/form. Therefore, you don't really tend to dig down any further into it to make sure it's the way you think it is.

I didn't dig into rap any further than you dug into Coldplay/U2.

That's why it's not "closed minded" to think that rap is ridiculous, when if you turn it on any rap station, all you hear is ridiculousness. Even the DJs are hardly bearable to listen to between songs.

 
Riotboy 2008-12-04 11:00:50 AM  
Timbaland & Magoo?

/that's funny

 
ltrain2 2008-12-04 11:05:44 AM  
Fact Man: ltrain2:
/heed your own advice my friend.

Well my advice was sort of pointing out to you that when you see a popular representation of a certain artist/art form, you pretty much assume that it's a good summation of the artist/form. Therefore, you don't really tend to dig down any further into it to make sure it's the way you think it is.

I didn't dig into rap any further than you dug into Coldplay/U2.

That's why it's not "closed minded" to think that rap is ridiculous, when if you turn it on any rap station, all you hear is ridiculousness. Even the DJs are hardly bearable to listen to between songs.


Well let's just put it this way. I don't know enough about Coldplay and U2 to say their terrible. You clearly have an opinion about hip hop that seems to be a little too narrow minded to have a valid opinion....so we'll agree to disagree!

 
I Like Bread 2008-12-04 11:13:12 AM  
Fact Man: That's why it's not "closed minded" to think that rap is ridiculous, when if you turn it on any rap station, all you hear is ridiculousness. Even the DJs are hardly bearable to listen to between songs.

Hell, sometimes I can't tell between songs, DJ banter and commercials on those damn stations. It all just runs together in a whirlwind of crap.

 
beejus 2008-12-04 11:13:22 AM  
Funny. I just got a friend request a day or two ago from a rapper in Topeka named (let's see if the filters butcher this one)

JizzHornay.

Yeah.

 
MasterOfToads 2008-12-04 11:33:30 AM  
List automatically fails because they do not list KEVLAR - he died FROM A GUNSHOT WOULD TO THE CHEST (new window).

 
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