Hello dear, how are you! It's great to see you. Here, let me just put down my things. I'm so thirsty. No, don't bother, I'll help myself. Oh my goodness, what a full refrigerator. So much food! I'd be worried about it spoiling. And you don't even cook that much, do you? Goodness. Oh, that's interesting. Why do you keep the orange juice on this shelf? I'd normally think to put it here, in the door. Let's see...glass, glass...you know, I've always wondered why you keep your glasses in this cabinet. It almost seems like they'd be more reachable in this one, don't you think? Next to the plates. Harold always used to want to keep them over the sink, too, but it's just so hard to reach them. Don't you think? Oh, sure you can take my coat. Thank you, thank you. Oh, do you mind putting the other way on the hanger? Thanks, dear. I just worry about the crease in the back. Oh, and just tuck the scarf in the sleeve. No, no the other one. You know, I always put my left hand in first for whatever reason and it's nice to have it right there. Thanks, dear. You're such a doll. Oh, and the sheets for the bed. I don't think I've ever seen bedsheets folded like this before. How interesting. Oh, and a new television! Wow. That must have been expensive! I didn't know Ronnie had received a raise. Did you get a raise, Ronnie? No? Oh, dear. Here, honey, I'm finished with the drink. Oh, just put it in the dishwasher? But it's just one glass, honey. Here, I'll just set it in the sink. So what can I do to help cook?

take my mother-in-law

Really? It's more my Dad hating on my Mom's Mom.
=/ She's a crazy cat lady.

Pocket Ninja: You know my mother?

Pocket Ninja: Hello dear, how are you! It's great to see you. Here, let me just put down my things. I'm so thirsty. No, don't bother, I'll help myself. Oh my goodness, what a full refrigerator. So much food! I'd be worried about it spoiling. And you don't even cook that much, do you? Goodness. Oh, that's interesting. Why do you keep the orange juice on this shelf? I'd normally think to put it here, in the door. Let's see...glass, glass...you know, I've always wondered why you keep your glasses in this cabinet. It almost seems like they'd be more reachable in this one, don't you think? Next to the plates. Harold always used to want to keep them over the sink, too, but it's just so hard to reach them. Don't you think? Oh, sure you can take my coat. Thank you, thank you. Oh, do you mind putting the other way on the hanger? Thanks, dear. I just worry about the crease in the back. Oh, and just tuck the scarf in the sleeve. No, no the other one. You know, I always put my left hand in first for whatever reason and it's nice to have it right there. Thanks, dear. You're such a doll. Oh, and the sheets for the bed. I don't think I've ever seen bedsheets folded like this before. How interesting. Oh, and a new television! Wow. That must have been expensive! I didn't know Ronnie had received a raise. Did you get a raise, Ronnie? No? Oh, dear. Here, honey, I'm finished with the drink. Oh, just put it in the dishwasher? But it's just one glass, honey. Here, I'll just set it in the sink. So what can I do to help cook?

Happy Holiday's? hahahahaa

PocketNinja that sounds miserable

Wow Ninja..i didn't know you were married to my wifes sister

My ex is still friendly with my mother.

Now my mother-in-law and I? That's was a different story. She's gone now. May she rest in peace.

I'm outraged that the Daily Mail could publish such offensive jokes! I'm going to write a letter of complaint to the BBC immediately.

Seriously though, all these daily fail greenlights are starting to stink up the system. Why not just be honest and turn the fark.com logo into 'Fark.com - brought to you by the Daily Mail, Britains least favourite reactionary tabloid'.

And Pocket Ninja, you are intolerably funny, but your paragraphless rant made my eyes glaze over in the same way that a moaning, daily mail reading mother-in-law would. Which could be construed as a compliment. Or not.

Those jokes made me lulz

epoc_tnac: I'm outraged that the Daily Mail could publish such offensive jokes! I'm going to write a letter of complaint to the BBC immediately.

Seriously though, all these daily fail greenlights are starting to stink up the system. Why not just be honest and turn the fark.com logo into 'Fark.com - brought to you by the Daily Mail, Britains least favourite reactionary tabloid'.

And Pocket Ninja, you are intolerably funny, but your paragraphless rant made my eyes glaze over in the same way that a moaning, daily mail reading mother-in-law would. Which could be construed as a compliment. Or not.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

aandersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

Get him exactly what you planned on, I loved that kind of stuff as a kid.

I have no stress from my mother in law. Of course, it's because she died years before I met my husband.

/hey-oooh!

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

A BB gun.

andersonboyz

Don't you even consider getting your grandson a doll house...what the fark. Get him that truck and fishing rod. At least then you won't be contributing to his future homosexuality (not that there is anything wrong with that)

Anyway, about the article...I've found that girlfriends/wives feel that there is always a competition between them and the mother in law. My girlfriend swears up and down that the guy's mom will always one up the girl in order to be the first woman in the man's life....I think it's all BS and that all women are nuts.

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

Go as planned...get him that truck and fishing rod. The truck will go nice with the dollhouse and the fishing rod will help him be active.

Skail [TotalFark]
andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

A BB gun.


I'll second Skail... best Christmas present I ever got...

/I was 6
//yes I'm a girl
///great shot

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?


Get a new daughter in law

Researcher at the Royal Institute for the Painfully Obvious discovers women often don't get along with their mothers-in-law. With bonus collection of mother-in-law jokes

FIFY subby.

Put any two women together, and they'll get along but resent each other. Make it three or more, and there are "enemies", even if they pretend there are not.

Am I the only female out there that actually loves my MIL? Not only that, I've like most of my boyfriend's moms. My MIL and I don't see eye to eye on everything (after 7 years she still won't accept that I don't do the cooking so she gives me recipes that I pass on to her son aka the cook in our house), but we get along really well.

Granted, I've never sent her an email telling her what to buy my son and where exactly she should get it. :)

Women don't get along with mothers-in-law if they've married Momma's Boys. bearcats1983 sums that srife up with the the competition between Mom and wife for who is number 1 in his life.

andersonboyz: trucks, fishing rods, BB guns - all good choices. But consider something like Tinker Toys or Erector sets or Lincoln Logs (if those things are still around). Lots of little pieces that will be left on the floor and stepped on barefoot in the middle of the night by Mom when the kid wakes up. More subtle than a drum set and more painful.

loving the comments. Hilarious because I'm about to meet the girlfriends parents for the first time today and will be thinking about these jokes at every lull in conversation.

/remember fellas, she will inevitably turn into her mother...eventually

Alex's Mom: I've like most of my boyfriend's moms.

How many does he have?

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

First of all, the only reason I clicked on the link was to read the mother-in-law jokes. I like my mother-in-law very much, by the way.

A woman goes to WalMart to buy her grandson a fishing rod. She knows nothing about fishing rods, so she picks one out at random. She walks up to the guy behind the counter, who is wearing dark glasses, and asks "How much is this fishing rod?"

The guy says "Ma'am, I'm completely blind. But if you'll drop the rod in front of me on the counter, I can tell you the exact make and model by the sound it makes."

The woman drops the rod on the counter and the guy says "That's an Evenrude 6000 with a cast aluminum reel and a six foot rod. It's on sale this week for $20. Excellent choice, ma'am." The woman takes out her credit card and drops it on the floor. The guy says "Why, that sounds like a MasterCard." The woman bends over to pick it up and accidentally farts. She looks around; there's no one else in the store and so she just hands it to the guy without saying anything.

The guy rings up the sale and says "That'll be $36.50." The woman says "$36.50! I thought you said it was $20."

The guy answers "That's correct, ma'am. $20 for the rod, $13 for the duck call and $3.50 for the catfish bait."

I get along with my mother-in-law most of the time. Now my mom and sisters are a different story. Lots of drama there! My mother-in-law excepts I am not the best decorator and don't really like to cook. As the only daughter-in-law she has she accepts.

It does help that she always wanted a daughter and ended up with three boys.

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

Compromise and get him a CD of showtunes.

/and face it

PocketNinja:

The only thing you forgot was when the mother-in-law starts to move the glasses to the other shelf and clear out the fridge to organize it better.

Yeah I like the daughters-in law, except when they boss around my sons, act like they can cook, don't have the house spotless when I visit, and let the bratty grand-kids run around and make NOISE!

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?

Get him this:

he'll love it!

My boyfriend's mom is awesome, but she isn't his biological mom and pretty much just says really pervy stuff about how much they get it on. Hilarious to me, not much to bf.

My ex-MIL, however, was horrible. I was in labor for 36 hours with my daughter and she came in and said "How much longer do you think this is going to take?" WTF??????

I actually get along great with my MIL...she helped me get through a few personal problems and tragedies. I just wish she wouldn't yawn so audibly. It's the one thing she likes doing on purpose. Imagine sitting in the den, minding your own business, but she's in there, too. Then she yawns, quietly at first, then finishes off with a, "OH HO HO HO HO HUM!!" It's annoying as hell, but thankfully she doesn't do it every time we visit.

/Now her daughter's ( my Sis-in-law's) mother-in-law? WHOA what a biatch...but that's another show

Aleahdiarrhea: My boyfriend's mom is awesome, but she isn't his biological mom and pretty much just says really pervy stuff about how much they get it on. Hilarious to me, not much to bf.

is your spidey sense tingling?

andersonboyz: OK, my daughter-in-law just sent me an email telling me where I should shop and what toys to buy for my grandchildren for Christmas.

She ended the email saying if I want I could forgo buying anything at all and just chip in to buy a dollhouse for my grandson, that would be better. A dollhouse???!

I want to get him a big truck and a fishing rod. What should I do?


Get him both of those and one of these:

My MIL didn't get that I was now in her daughter's apartment. She'd walk right in to use the bathroom or something. That stopped one day when I saw her coming up the drive, removed my clothes and sat watching TV in the nude.

andersonboyz You seem hurt that your DIL suggested gifts for the grandson. Do you live close enough to know which toys he already has? Is the boy old enough to tell you what he likes or wants himself? Is there any legitimate reason the parents would not want some specific toys in question for this particular child?

In general, get what you want to get if it fits within the rules of the house and your budget. Your DIL's wish list may be something she learned at home (My mom didn't want to guess what we wanted so she always gave us a catalog and told us to circle the things we liked so she knew what to pick from; when we got older she just asked us what to get and it was normal for our family to say what to get and where to buy it even if others think it's tacky). Try talking about it diplomatically. Tell her you were thinking of getting the truck and fishing rod and see how she responds. If you try to be tactful, communication may help.

I give my sister money to buy things for my nephew and she puts my name on it and wraps it up for me, but I live far away and accept that she know her son well. I never doubted my sister will get him things he likes. He is also only a bit over 3 so he doesn't say much on the phone yet to me other than "hello" and "arrgh" (we play pirate). If my sister told me what to get instead of taking care of it for me I would not be offended, but we are family and it's OK to do that by our own unspoken rules. Maybe the problem with in-laws is that all the "family rules" we carry around without knowing it do not always mesh?

Aleahdiarrhea: My boyfriend's mom is awesome, but she isn't his biological mom and pretty much just says really pervy stuff about how much they get it on. Hilarious to me, not much to bf.



Mother daughter combo in a round a bout way...



/alright
//giggity

MIL: (thinking) "That biatch will never be able to take care of him the way I did."
Wife: (thinking) "Why hasn't that biatch realized that he moved out of her house yet? Go away!"
MIL: (spoken) "Hello, dear! How nice to see you!"
Wife: (spoken) "How good to see you! You look great!"

Aunt Crabby: andersonboyz You seem hurt that your DIL suggested gifts for the grandson. Do you live close enough to know which toys he already has? Is the boy old enough to tell you what he likes or wants himself? Is there any legitimate reason the parents would not want some specific toys in question for this particular child?

In general, get what you want to get if it fits within the rules of the house and your budget. Your DIL's wish list may be something she learned at home (My mom didn't want to guess what we wanted so she always gave us a catalog and told us to circle the things we liked so she knew what to pick from; when we got older she just asked us what to get and it was normal for our family to say what to get and where to buy it even if others think it's tacky). Try talking about it diplomatically. Tell her you were thinking of getting the truck and fishing rod and see how she responds. If you try to be tactful, communication may help.

I give my sister money to buy things for my nephew and she puts my name on it and wraps it up for me, but I live far away and accept that she know her son well. I never doubted my sister will get him things he likes. He is also only a bit over 3 so he doesn't say much on the phone yet to me other than "hello" and "arrgh" (we play pirate). If my sister told me what to get instead of taking care of it for me I would not be offended, but we are family and it's OK to do that by our own unspoken rules. Maybe the problem with in-laws is that all the "family rules" we carry around without knowing it do not always mesh?



The 2 year old boy is only allowed to eat an organic vegetarian diet. He's not allowed to watch TV. All the toys must be "gender neutral". All toys must be made of natural materials, preferably "organic".

OK, for the love of Pete....I understand their good intentions but geez -- It's Christmas! I just want to buy a cool truck and a fishing rod because he's a real "boy" and just loves those things. But if I do, she's going to resent me.

I have had three godawful mothers-in-law in my life, two still standing.

I make it my life's purpose to never, evar treat my son-in-law the way they've treated me.

My mother never got along with any of my girlfriends. And she hated my fiancee right up until we got married. There was a fight over territory, and I was the territory. When she realized she had lost and my wife had won she admitted defeat gracefully. Now they get along quite well.

My sisters? That's another kettle of festering maggots entirely.

andersonboyz: The 2 year old boy is only allowed to eat an organic vegetarian diet. He's not allowed to watch TV. All the toys must be "gender neutral". All toys must be made of natural materials, preferably "organic".

take it from the old hippie woman - the first toys that kids raised like this search out on their own (when mama and daddy are away) is a gun. Even if it's a stick - it's a gun.

Mrs. Grubermann always got along with mama Grubermann (R.I.P.), it was her own mother she has a hard time getting along with.

jafiwam: Researcher at the Royal Institute for the Painfully Obvious discovers women often don't get along with their mothers-in-law. With bonus collection of mother-in-law jokes

FIFY subby.

Put any two women together, and they'll get along but resent each other. Make it three or more, and there are "enemies", even if they pretend there are not.

Depends on the type of women. I don't get along well with girly girls.. ugh... but put me and another gal together that tend to normally get along great with GUYS as friends instead of women.. and it's all good

/tomboys of the world unite!

I have the best type of in-laws you could ask for

DEAD ones!

HA! just kidding, they're alive and both wonderful people

Hell, nobody likes my MIL, not even her own children. Of course, her being a sociopath might have something to do with that, or perhaps the part where she sucks Satan's cock every night...

andersonboyz: The 2 year old boy is only allowed to eat an organic vegetarian diet. He's not allowed to watch TV. All the toys must be "gender neutral". All toys must be made of natural materials, preferably "organic".

Get him a skinning knife, a Ruger 10/22, and some steaks...

I dont think its Just mothers-in-law that women dont like.
Its sisters-in-law, aunts-in-law, nubile nieces, and....

Well. in my experience, women dont like other women in general, unless they are genetically related to them. They consider each other rivals for the local men's attention.

LordZorch: andersonboyz: The 2 year old boy is only allowed to eat an organic vegetarian diet. He's not allowed to watch TV. All the toys must be "gender neutral". All toys must be made of natural materials, preferably "organic".

Get him a skinning knife, a Ruger 10/22, and some steaks...

Perfect! My DIL will have a nervous breakdown!