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(Onion AV Club) Interesting The best review for Chinese Democracy that you'll read, well ever   (avclub.com) divider line 58
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Procedural Texture [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-11-28 01:35:56 PM  
That review would have been way more impressive if he'd taken 15 years to write it.

 
Great_Milenko 2008-11-28 01:47:13 PM  
Wow, he must have a different version of the album than the one that they're streaming on their myspace page, which is a pile of moldy diarrhea .

 
Cabal468 2008-11-28 01:49:36 PM  
A.V. Club rules...that was the best review of any album...evah! I'm still not buying the album though.

 
Adjective Bird Whiskey [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 01:52:28 PM  
If I ever used that many words to describe a music album of any kind, I'd promptly shoot myself.

 
Endzone108 2008-11-28 01:56:52 PM  
It is definitely an album that needs multiple spins to get into but I really like it now.

/of course I am a GNR homer, my dog's name is Axl Rose

 
nocode 2008-11-28 02:04:55 PM  
Great_Milenko: Wow, he must have a different version of the album than the one that they're streaming on their myspace page, which is a pile of moldy diarrhea .

They always lower the bitrate on Myspace so the quality is gonna be shiat there. I wasn't really impressed with the album, but I didn't really pay too much attention to it. I'll give it a second shot.

 
strongbadd 2008-11-28 02:22:18 PM  
They always lower the bitrate on Myspace so the quality is gonna be shiat there. I wasn't really impressed with the album, but I didn't really pay too much attention to it. I'll give it a second shot.


The bitrate doesn't matter if the songs suck.

 
MikeXpop 2008-11-28 02:23:29 PM  
I wholeheartedly recommend reading everything Chuck Klosterman has ever written. The man is as hilarious as he is insightful.

 
Mirrorz 2008-11-28 02:25:56 PM  
I always hated guns n roses but I really like the first few tracks I've heard so far.

 
Derwood 2008-11-28 02:35:15 PM  
Writing about Music is like Dancing about Architecture

 
Dimmu_Burger 2008-11-28 02:46:29 PM  
I really tried to read it but it was just WAY too wordy and I'm out of Adderall. And I couldn't give half a fark about the new Guns N' Roses Axl Rose Band album.

Derwood: Writing about Music is like Dancing about Architecture

/Seconded

 
Boris S. Wort [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 03:12:33 PM  
I got about half way through when I remembered that I never really gave a flying fark about GNR.

Here's a much more succinct review of both Closterman review and GNR.

Bloviating claptrap.


/I'll be in my study.

 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 03:16:00 PM  
GNR used to matter for having music that people enjoyed.

Now, they matter for waiting so long to release this album, not because the album is even remotely decent.

 
BobSherunkle 2008-11-28 03:29:02 PM  
I listened to the album and thought it was an average rock album, no better or worse than the crap out there at the moment.

My biggest issue is that it's all seems to built around his vocals yet he doesn't have a good enough voice to pull it off.

/No I didn't buy it I err.. borrowed it!

 
guy_smiley 2008-11-28 03:50:58 PM  
Yeah, regardless how the music sounds, the guy sounds like a cat being strangled. I can't listen to anything he does for any length of time.

 
robertj 2008-11-28 03:51:03 PM  
Derwood: Writing about Music is like Dancing about Architecture

um....... no

 
Already Disturbed 2008-11-28 04:08:39 PM  
I enjoyed the review when I read it LAST WEEK.
/bought it on vinyl
//came with mp3 download coupon
///i know, i know

 
jiaxiaobo 2008-11-28 04:13:57 PM  
If you liked stuff off of UYI, you will like this album. It is better than those albums; and I don't think a comparison can be made to their debut. Like most of us, I've been around, heard a lot of music, and am critical. I've YouTubed this album probably a few dozen times over the past 2 weeks and am growing very very fond of it. The changes in most of the songs are incredible by any standard. Certainly more creative and interesting (yet still hooky) than any hard rock out today. Please point out anything on the radio which holds a candle to the songwriting on this album (except This I Love - this should have been left off). This guy completely nailed the review. My favorite sentence:

"Sometimes it seems like Axl believes every single Guns N' Roses song needs to employ every single thing that Guns N' Roses has the capacity to do-there needs to be a soft part, a hard part, a falsetto stretch, some piano plinking, some R&B bullshiat, a little Judas Priest, subhuman sound effects, a few Robert Plant yowls, dolphin squeaks, wind, overt sentimentality, and a caustic modernization of the blues."

 
Links 2008-11-28 04:22:13 PM  
I don't have any idea why, but I wanted to like this album. I listened earnestly, knowwutimean? But it sucks. so. badly. Every opening lyric is a mind-numbing cliche. Every refrain a tragic mistake. It's like watching Carlos Mencia. You don't know whether to cry for him or put him out of his misery.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 04:26:40 PM  
i231.photobucket.com
Is not amused

 
Roy Keane's Big Toe 2008-11-28 04:33:02 PM  
I'm listening to Chinese Democracy right now so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies.

Madagascar FTW.

 
seabass242 2008-11-28 04:52:50 PM  
It's a good album. Not perfect, it has flaws, but it's still good stuff.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2008-11-28 04:56:29 PM  
I'm giving it my first listen right now. Meh.

 
84Charlie 2008-11-28 04:56:43 PM  
It should not even be called a Guns-N-Roses album.

Someone here once called it " Axl and 5 guy who aren't Slash".

I think the reviewer is worng about Slash. Slash is a great guitarist and writes great songs, he has just been working with some really unstable/flaky singers.

 
Fun Dumpster 2008-11-28 05:24:00 PM  
FTFA:

It's as if Axl is desperately trying to get some unmakeable dream song from inside his skull onto the CD, and the result is an overstuffed maelstrom that makes all the punk dolts scoff. His ambition is noble, yet wildly unrealistic.

farm4.static.flickr.com
Knows that pain all to well.

 
jj325 [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 05:27:37 PM  
I listened to the album once. It's like the 5.00 shake---you just want to know what an album that took 15 years to make sounds like. Nothing special. Like the writer said---needs more Izzy.

Funny thing is, commercial success of the album aside, Axl could build this into a comeback. Go on tour and actually play the shows, be there on time, etc. Release a new album in a couple years. Instead I have a feeling we'll see a standard GnR tour that's hit and miss at best and a crappy sounding live CD. Which is too bad, because I think the guy may have some epic music inside of him. I just quit caring like 10 years ago

 
seveword 2008-11-28 05:50:32 PM  
tl;dr

not blowing 15 bucks on it, no matter who says it's good.

/I only have 13 bucks

 
candriessen 2008-11-28 05:54:45 PM  
Meh, A lot of the lyrics are great, but it's too saturated with different ideas, too over-produced and was influenced way too much by recent crappy music.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2008-11-28 05:57:10 PM  
OK, it's over. Official score: C+

 
Go Fast Turn Left [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 06:13:45 PM  
Fun Dumpster: FTFA:

It's as if Axl is desperately trying to get some unmakeable dream song from inside his skull onto the CD, and the result is an overstuffed maelstrom that makes all the punk dolts scoff. His ambition is noble, yet wildly unrealistic.


Knows that pain all to well.


I came here for LSD-laden Dewey Cox and was not disappointed.

 
momentous 2008-11-28 06:18:43 PM  
I am afraid to listen to the whole thing closely after I heard Shackler's Revenge. I might die from laughter. I will dig in eventually, but its too weird right now.

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-11-28 06:47:39 PM  
That review is ever bit as pompous as anything else at AV Club, so at least they are consistent.

On "Madagascar," he samples MLK (possible restitution for "One In A Million"?)


Geez. Let it go already. "One In A Million" is a great song. So what if it makes babies cry?

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 06:48:41 PM  
robertj: um....... no

Not familiar with that old expression? It's been around for ages and it is in a sense true. Words don't exactly fit with sound. Just as moving doesn't fit with structures.

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 06:56:15 PM  
Blah blah blah.
I couldn't make it through 5 songs of this album or three paragraphs of the review.. They're both just boring.

 
WhyteRaven74 [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 07:03:47 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: pompous as anything else at AV Club

Never read the NY Times reviews I take it. Nothing is close to pompous compared to them.

 
SockMonkeyHolocaust 2008-11-28 07:19:16 PM  
Hey good because I like reading things on the internet and that certainly is a thing on the internet. It's like me and that thing on the internet were made for each other.

 
SockMonkeyHolocaust 2008-11-28 07:20:29 PM  
Haha, saw the pic of Chuck with his new Sun Records shirt, trimmed beard and glasses and couldn't take anything he said seriously. Tell me how many times he uses the term "rockists"

 
RevMercutio [TotalFark] 2008-11-28 07:24:33 PM  
Interestingly enough, this isn't Klosterman's first review of Chinese Democracy. He did one in 2006 as well.

 
GimpyNip 2008-11-28 07:39:07 PM  
So what if Slash isn't in the band. His work with Velvet Revolver and Snake Pit did almost nothing for me. Album does need more Izzy though. Also, he may be right about Duff. There are tons of guitar lines on CD but no standout bass lines.

/B+
//who gives an s how long it took to make?

 
ConnieLingus 2008-11-28 08:36:00 PM  
Klostermann is pretty much the man in my book. I came to this conclusion long before this review.

 
sadbad 2008-11-28 11:22:47 PM  
Personally, I thought it was an absolutely terrible, over produced piece of shiat.

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-11-28 11:48:49 PM  
puffy999: GNR used to matter for having music that people enjoyed.

Now, they matter for waiting so long to release this album, not because the album is even remotely decent.


this. It seems like the fact that Axl finally managed to release the album is getting more attention than the actual music.


Every positive review seems consists of 5 paragraphs of talking about long it's taken to come out with a "oh yeah, the disc includes music. Cool!" paragraph at the end. Everything else seems to be GNR fans who have not listened to music for the past 17 years who go to great lengths to bend over backwards trying to sing the album's praise.


They should've retitled it "Axl Rose and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

 
ILiveInYourEyelid 2008-11-29 12:01:46 AM  
This was the first Album that I have bought in years. And like any album that I've enjoyed in the past, I start with one or two songs I like and the album grows on me.

Too many people thinking too much about this album. Bottom line for me is I am enjoying it.

 
spammuncher 2008-11-29 12:08:09 AM  
sadbad: Personally, I thought it was an absolutely terrible, over produced piece of shiat.

i67.photobucket.com

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

And it sounds great on headphones.

/Seeing the Melvins at the Troubadour in less than a hour.

 
mahavishnunj 2008-11-29 01:13:56 AM  
for one thing, the review was horrible. for another, that was REAL astute of him not being able to tell the difference between bucketheads tracks(which were alot of the leaked stuff)and ron thals tracks(which are the only good thing about this whole travesty, and from what i hear-90% of the lead guitar). epic failure, and im not even a gnr fan like this homo obviously is.

 
mahavishnunj 2008-11-29 01:15:09 AM  
spammuncher: /Seeing the Melvins at the Troubadour in less than a hour.

finally some logic in a gnr thread

 
jayhawk88 2008-11-29 02:17:23 AM  
You know I think the major problem this album faces is that a lot of it's audience has just moved on. As someone who graduated high school in '91, of course I thought Appetite was the shiat, and listened to UYI for quite a bit as well. But as they say, that was 15 years ago. Maybe I'm just being close-minded or snobbish, but I just really don't need any Guns and Roses in my life right now. Been there, done that. I'm guessing I'm not alone in this feeling.

 
balthan [TotalFark] 2008-11-29 02:27:56 AM  
I know it's trendy to hate the "Axl solo project", but I'm in the minority that's enjoying the new GNR. I actually think it's a solid album.

 
Ablejack 2008-11-29 03:27:17 AM  
more interesting review of an album I will probably never hear.

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/reviews/recordings/2008/12/01/081201gore_GO AT_reco rdings_greenman

 
Ablejack 2008-11-29 03:29:45 AM  
Ablejack: more interesting review of an album I will probably never hear.


FTFM!

 
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