Don't lump me in with those idiots. The only thing I want from Dubya is to go away and never make another public appearance again.

Bye.

Signed, The Other 49 States

BunkoSquad: Bye.

Signed, The Other 49 States

Yeah, don't let Oklahoma hit your ass on the way out...

Adios, motherfarkers.

cwick: Yeah, don't let Oklahoma hit your ass on the way out...

Actually, the only thing that would make this better is if they would take Oklahoma with them.

BunkoSquad: Bye.

Signed, The Other 49 States

Texas has the most Fortune 500 headquarters, a robust economy, fair and affordable (re: non-inflated) housing costs, and the best damn football teams in the nation.

Also, I wonder if that'd mean we'd get to join OPEC? Oh yeah, we still get to control much of the refining capacity, too. The Houston Medical Center will remain a premiere international health care institution. Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT. :P

big_pth: The only thing I want from Dubya is to go away and never make another public appearance again.

Well, with the exception of an appearance at The Hague.

Do they need any volunteers to help dig a moat ? I'll work for free and even pay my own way to get there.

SangamonTaylor: Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT. :P

Typical Texan, thinking they have some god-given right to steal federal property from the taxpayers of the other 49 states and not pay anything for it.

I'd love to see what kind of stupid laws Texans would make up for themselves.

big_pth: Don't lump me in with those idiots. The only thing I want from Dubya is to go away and never make another public appearance again.

This.

SangamonTaylor: Texas has the most Fortune 500 headquarters, a robust economy, fair and affordable (re: non-inflated) housing costs, and the best damn football teams in the nation.

And this as well, but don't lump me in with those secessionist weirdos.

I'm sure Mexico would be thrilled.

Lando Lincoln: I'd love to see what kind of stupid laws Texans would make up for themselves.

This sort of incredibly stupid laws.

We could get rid both of Bush and PokemonTaylor? Deal.


/Bonus: Watching the GOP try to make up those electoral votes elsewhere would be great entertainment.

God I hope we follow them!

/say good bye to your economy

How odd. This seems to be a reaction to this dumb e-mail I keep getting from people in lesser (i.e not Texas) states:

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election, too, we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California , Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .

We get two- thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that New California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if the media won't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, UCLA, Berkeley and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We also get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are the people with higher morals than we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good beer, too. You can have the Budweiser.....

Peace -

--The Blue States

I just realized the upside - Terrell Owens will have moved out of the United States!

Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States.

Yeah, like Dallas and Houston are going to go along with this shiat.

Mordant: Do they need any volunteers to help dig a moat ? I'll work for free and even pay my own way to get there.

Heh.

Kar98: How odd. This seems to be a reaction to this dumb e-mail I keep getting from people in lesser (i.e not Texas) states:

It's a shame that you are constantly persecuted by such leftist emails. I guess I'm just lucky that i don't get stuff like that in any of my 6 email accounts for some reason.

RobertBruce: God I hope we follow them!

/say good bye to your economy

Georgia? Please. No one wants Georgia.

We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border
when we need some more.

*facepalm*

vartian: Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States.

Uhh....Dana Farber, the Cleavland Clinic, and the Mayo Clinic regard that statement with amusement.

what_now: vartian: Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States.

Uhh....Dana Farber, the Cleavland Clinic, and the Mayo Clinic regard that statement with amusement.

Did you catch the part about Texas taking over the space industry? I thought that was adorable.

Go.

Please, please, please go.

I want to watch history in the making - how to go from a developed nation-state into the world's newest 3rd world country.

vartian: Did you catch the part about Texas taking over the space industry? I thought that was adorable.

Where would they get the astronauts from? UT? Rice?? hahahahahahhaha!!

Upside? The Cowboys wouldn't be in the NFL any longer.

The only thing missing from this thread is a newsflash tag and a link to an article from 1992.

How many fortune 500 companies would actually stay in texas if it somehow seceded from the union.

BigBen: How many fortune 500 companies would actually stay in texas if it somehow seceded from the union.

You never know. They might get the offshore tax breaks.

i'm surprised no-one has chimed in with the old chestnut that "we're the republic of texas, we can secede whenever the hell we want. **sound of spit hitting a spitoon**"

SangamonTaylor: Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT.

Don't worry - they would. And we would laugh and laugh.

/good times

If this goes through, can we mess with it?

Well, bye!

/y'all are slacking

Can they take the Dixie Chicks with them? They're farking annoying.

/bye-bye!
//or rather, adios!

SangamonTaylor: and the best damn football teams in the nation.

The Giants are based out of Texas now?

Wow. You have to be pretty damn patriotic to want to secede.

SangamonTaylor: Texas has the most Fortune 500 headquarters, a robust economy, fair and affordable (re: non-inflated) housing costs, and the best damn football teams in the nation.

Also, I wonder if that'd mean we'd get to join OPEC? Oh yeah, we still get to control much of the refining capacity, too. The Houston Medical Center will remain a premiere international health care institution. Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT. :P

First of all, the Forbes guys would not stop providing us with products.

Secondly, your houses are cheap because you all live way to farking far from where you work so you *need* to guzzle gas just to "get by".

Third, the Cowboys suck harder than a black hole.

big_pth: Don't lump me in with those idiots. The only thing I want from Dubya is to go away and never make another public appearance again.

This.

If they take Florida with them it's a deal.

I'm for a trial separation. With their slaughterhouse savvy, let them execute all the retards they can find in a year. The remaining dozen or so Texans can then negotiate for protectorate status.

Lando Lincoln: I'd love to see what kind of stupid laws Texans would make up for themselves.

Well, it's already illegal for anyone in Texas to possess more than 6 dildos.

/Or is it dildoes?

One step closer to Jesustan becoming a reality.

Don't add this Texan to that list!

I am Damn Proud to be in the USofA

// G.W. Bush was born in Connecticut we true Texans do not claim him.

CDP: // G.W. Bush was born in Connecticut we true Texans do not claim him.

Whoa whoa whoa... We passed the buck onto you guys many years ago.

Cyberluddite: SangamonTaylor: Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT. :P

Typical Texan, thinking they have some god-given right to steal federal property from the taxpayers of the other 49 states and not pay anything for it.



Let's be clear, I'm not one of those secessionist weirdos, but I think those who hate Texas and would like to kick them out of the Union are high out of their minds.

SangamonTaylor: Let's be clear, I'm not one of those secessionist weirdos, but I think those who hate Texas and would like to kick them out of the Union are high out of their minds.

and what better way to get away from those crazies than to start a new country and not have to deal with them anymore ? Seriously, you hold all the cards and you'd be crazy not to take advantage of the situation.

But then Florida would lose its strongest competitor for 'State with most stories on Fark' title.

Texas is an important part of the Union, but damn...to paraprhase:

"The problem with Scotland Texas is, it's full of Scots Texans."

SangamonTaylor: Texas has the most Fortune 500 headquarters, a robust economy, fair and affordable (re: non-inflated) housing costs, and the best damn football teams in the nation.

Also, I wonder if that'd mean we'd get to join OPEC? Oh yeah, we still get to control much of the refining capacity, too. The Houston Medical Center will remain a premiere international health care institution. Also, we're certainly keeping Fort Hood and Fort Bliss. COME AND TAKE IT. :P

Yeah... that attitude worked really well about 170 years ago. Ever heard of that place called the Alamo?