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(Fox News) Unlikely Russian scholar predicts the U.S. will break into six parts because of the nation's financial crisis. Hints that Alaska could be Russia's for the taking   (foxnews.com) divider line 246
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3135 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Nov 2008 at 11:06 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

246 Comments   (+0 »)


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006andahalf 2008-11-25 09:32:25 PM  
Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

 
DistendedPendulusFrenulum 2008-11-25 09:34:49 PM  
Please take Sarah Palin with you

.

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:38:09 PM  
006andahalf

Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

Just make sure the barbed wire is strung to keep Texans in.

 
Civil_War2_Time [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:40:09 PM  
He just wants a BCS playoff, and can't grasp that we're already split along those lines nationally.

With a playoff system, we'll UNITE! WOLVERIN...wait a second.

 
ragekage [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:42:50 PM  
Civil_War2_Time: He just wants a BCS playoff, and can't grasp that we're already split along those lines nationally.

With a playoff system, we'll UNITE! WOLVERIN...wait a second.


Thread over.

 
Tabatha Static 2008-11-25 09:46:19 PM  
Who's got that awesome pic of Palin's fantasy about Putin rearing his head over Alaska's horizon?

 
006andahalf 2008-11-25 09:46:55 PM  
oldebayer: 006andahalf

Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

Just make sure the barbed wire is strung to keep Texans in.


Wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone crazy enough to go in there gets to stay.

 
m0llusk [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:49:53 PM  
If Russia can keep 11 time zones together then we can probably hold 4.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:52:53 PM  
m0llusk: If Russia can keep 11 time zones together then we can probably hold 4.

To be fair, 8 of those time zones are frozen wastelands.

 
DamnYankees [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:53:28 PM  
We should split ourselves up alphabetically. For fun.

 
RagingLeonard [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 09:55:37 PM  
006andahalf: oldebayer: 006andahalf

Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

Just make sure the barbed wire is strung to keep Texans in.

Wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone crazy enough to go in there gets to stay.


Fine with me.
We'll keep our oil, refineries, chemical plants, car plants, food farms, wind power, cotton, mineral deposits, football players, soldiers, NASA base, and steaks.

Have fun.

 
amo [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:00:34 PM  
Tabatha Static: Who's got that awesome pic of Palin's fantasy about Putin rearing his head over Alaska's horizon?

i210.photobucket.com

I'm here to help.

 
baorao 2008-11-25 10:01:13 PM  
i take it they just started showing the first season of Jericho over in Russia.

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:04:02 PM  
Can CA finally secede?

 
006andahalf 2008-11-25 10:08:35 PM  
RagingLeonard: 006andahalf: oldebayer: 006andahalf

Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

Just make sure the barbed wire is strung to keep Texans in.

Wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone crazy enough to go in there gets to stay.

Fine with me.
We'll keep our oil, refineries, chemical plants, car plants, food farms, wind power, cotton, mineral deposits, football players, soldiers, NASA base, and steaks.

Have fun.


Sounds like a deal. If you like, we'll even throw in Cheney and Rush.

 
Aarontology [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:11:45 PM  
And if anyone knows about a country breaking up into seperate entities, it's the Russians.

 
jonasborg [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:13:25 PM  
I'll take Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota and the UP.

 
Civil_War2_Time [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:18:41 PM  
If you like, we'll even throw in Cheney and Rush.

Three yards and a cloud of Pacemakers? Pfft.

 
Civil_War2_Time [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:20:40 PM  
Now, throw in Cheney and the Run and Shoot...can't miss there.

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:20:59 PM  
Great, another Russian "scholar" who mistook wood alcohol for vodka.

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:25:54 PM  
RagingLeonard

Um, if I apologize, will you throw me a brisket over the fence every so often?

 
inebriated brain 2008-11-25 10:28:14 PM  
come on. divide because of sub prime mortgages? That is all of our money in the bail-out across all 50 states. Its far more likely that we will storm DC and drag the politicians out to the street than it would be for states to secede. Hell all states are on the federal dole anyway. WTF is this dude smoking?

And furthermore, why in the fark did Fox make this a news story? Oh.. wait. Never mind.

 
jaylectricity [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:29:31 PM  
What was that state where they arrested the Unabomber?

 
Heroic Poser 2008-11-25 10:30:38 PM  
SAY NO TO RUSSIA!

WOLVERINES!!!

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 10:35:19 PM  
006andahalf: Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

i132.photobucket.com

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:02:43 PM  
CDP: 006andahalf: Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

is it wrong that i'm hoping the storm to the lower left is catastrophic?

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:05:01 PM  
jonasborg: I'll take Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota and the UP.

You just want North Dakota because we have nukes.

/and coal
//and hydro power
///and wind power
////and some of the best farmland

 
timujin [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:10:09 PM  
inebriated brain: Hell all states are on the federal dole anyway.

And where does the money come from for that "dole"? I'm not saying that this is going to happen, but if it did, the states would simply tax their citizens at a rate high enough to ensure the money still came in. What I wonder about is what happens to states that currently take in more money than they generate. "The Pacific" will be fine, though.

 
sinanju 2008-11-25 11:11:14 PM  
CDP:

Alaska is the largest state in the union. Texas is the second. Perhaps Alaska will do Texas a favor and cut itself in half and ... oh... wait... that will make Texas the third largest state in the union.

 
The_Gallant_Gallstone [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:11:28 PM  
Link (new window)Hellz Yeah...

Romance of the Three Kingdoms was such a good story... maybe we can finally do it over here... with guns!!

 
that1guy77 [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:12:42 PM  
Whatever happens out of the crisis, whether the RINO or Hussein is at the helm, this country is farked. This country hasn't seen shiat yet.

 
Silovik 2008-11-25 11:13:19 PM  
Reminds of the Simpsons episode where the Russian title at the UN flips to the USSR.
"I thought you guys were over"
"haha that what we wanted you to think!"

/I think it was Homer in the Navy

 
more_fool_you 2008-11-25 11:13:20 PM  
As Obama rears his head and comes into the air space of Russia, where do they go? It's Alaska.

 
The_Gallant_Gallstone [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:14:54 PM  
Silovik: Reminds of the Simpsons episode where the Russian title at the UN flips to the USSR.
"I thought you guys were over"
"haha that what we wanted you to think!"

/I think it was Homer in the Navy


Yeah... with Zombie Lenin busting out of the glass mausoleum.

 
mud_shark 2008-11-25 11:15:28 PM  
RagingLeonard: 006andahalf: oldebayer: 006andahalf

Awesome. We can finally build that long-overdue border fence around Texas.

Just make sure the barbed wire is strung to keep Texans in.

Wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone crazy enough to go in there gets to stay.

Fine with me.
We'll keep our oil, refineries, chemical plants, car plants, food farms, wind power, cotton, mineral deposits, football players, soldiers, NASA base, and steaks.

Have fun.


And you have to keep all your immigrants and I'm not talking about the ones from south of the border - it's all the Yankees and Californians and everyone else.

 
deeproy 2008-11-25 11:16:13 PM  
Sounds like a plot for a horrible video game...

upload.wikimedia.org

/hotlinked in the name of the New England Alliance

 
dynomutt 2008-11-25 11:19:02 PM  
John Titor unavailable for comment (he's too busy finding that IBM terminal thingy)

 
BitwiseShift 2008-11-25 11:19:14 PM  
Stolen from the real Nine Nations of North America (pops)

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-11-25 11:19:29 PM  
i240.photobucket.com

 
Shvetz 2008-11-25 11:20:59 PM  
timujin: inebriated brain: Hell all states are on the federal dole anyway.

And where does the money come from for that "dole"? I'm not saying that this is going to happen, but if it did, the states would simply tax their citizens at a rate high enough to ensure the money still came in. What I wonder about is what happens to states that currently take in more money than they generate. "The Pacific" will be fine, though.


As will the "East Coast" region. "Real America" might have some problems though.

 
Hollie Maea 2008-11-25 11:23:24 PM  
Sounds pretty bloody good. I'll be just happy in my California/Washington/Oregon/Nevada nation.

 
ollin 2008-11-25 11:23:26 PM  
i294.photobucket.com

 
Funk Brothers 2008-11-25 11:28:04 PM  
Russia also has financial problems too so we're exporting our recession to other nations.

 
the_colonel 2008-11-25 11:29:33 PM  
"Well boys, I reckon this is it; nuclear combat, toe to toe with the Russkies."

Maj Kong

 
mrexcess [TotalFark] 2008-11-25 11:30:41 PM  
Stoke that nationalism! Go go go!

 
ramathorn83 2008-11-25 11:30:55 PM  
Wouldn't be such a bad thing actually.

Want to live in a "Blue America"? You can live in one without Red America.

Want to live in a "Red America"? You can live in one without Blue America.

It would put an end to these culture wars.

 
inebriated brain 2008-11-25 11:31:58 PM  
Hollie Maea: Sounds pretty bloody good. I'll be just happy in my California/Washington/Oregon/Nevada nation.

have fun being broke in your nation

 
drjekel_mrhyde 2008-11-25 11:32:14 PM  
Wait I was gearing up for the race war and before that the Zombie hordes, but now I will be fighting Newyorkers from one side, West Coast crazies, and Southern Holy nutjobs,
/Illinazi 101st keyboard commando

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-11-25 11:34:53 PM  
i240.photobucket.com

 
moothemagiccow 2008-11-25 11:35:14 PM  
ok but I'm moving to West America so I can be conquered by Californian Mexicans instead of Texan Mexicans

 
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