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(The Sun) Scary The aptly-named Strange family insist their couch is haunted. Listen for yourself. If you dare   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 83
More: Scary  
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Heroic Poser 2008-11-23 09:20:23 PM  
I have studied the Paranormal for over 20 years. After careful studying of the audio plus running it through Adobe Audition to heighten noises through the Graphic Equalizer, then consulting a team of 20 other scientists, we have all concluded that...

...it's farts trying to escape.

"She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away.

And there's my witness.

 
supernaturaltoe 2008-11-23 09:49:52 PM  
Sofa King Haunted.

 
ippolit 2008-11-23 09:51:27 PM  
supernaturaltoe: Sofa King Haunted.

Win.

 
skinink 2008-11-23 09:51:47 PM  

"Experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. "



I am Sofa King Wee todd id.


 
ippolit 2008-11-23 09:52:40 PM  
skinink: "Experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. "

I am Sofa King Wee todd id.


Not win. Two minutes too late.

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 09:52:59 PM  
My couch isn't haunted. My ass is.

 
Norad [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 09:53:37 PM  
People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

 
Hagbardr [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 09:53:40 PM  
img153.imageshack.us

 
Binklord 2008-11-23 09:53:51 PM  
Loose change does have dead presidents on them, spooky.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 09:54:48 PM  
It's the sound of a streetlight.

 
Conan the Librarian 2008-11-23 09:55:21 PM  
Get off. Seriously, get off.

/not maxworthy.

 
hyperspacemonkey 2008-11-23 09:55:48 PM  
skinink: "Experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. "

I am Sofa King Wee todd id.


Is that a troll? Cuz you caught one.

 
cthu1hu 2008-11-23 09:55:56 PM  
tvmedia.ign.com

 
Sum Dum Gai 2008-11-23 09:57:19 PM  
Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 09:57:55 PM  
Sum Dum Gai: Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

That, and the whole article is nothing but a series of puns.

 
ScottHimself 2008-11-23 10:02:17 PM  
If you believe in the paranormal raise your hand.

/readies rifle

 
Vanetia [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:03:20 PM  
It sounds like old people having sex. Which is far more frightening than a haunted couch

 
Archie DeBunker [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:04:22 PM  
It does sound creepy. I wonder if the couch has springs made out of memory metal and the springs are simply recalling an event that happened on the couch at one point in time.

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.

 
Annamonster 2008-11-23 10:09:09 PM  
why don't they just take the cushions off and flip it over, jeez, try and find out what it is before claiming your couch is haunted.

 
specialk111 2008-11-23 10:10:40 PM  
FARK YO COUCH!!!

 
Erebus1954 2008-11-23 10:12:06 PM  
Archie DeBunker:

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.


Oh noes! It says Paul is dead, nooooooo!

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:15:23 PM  
Sounds like a job for:

www.digitalbattle.com

 
TheFarkinEmpress 2008-11-23 10:15:27 PM  
It sounds like a creaky rocking chair. Or a monster termite chewing the frame.

OM NOM NOM!

 
Lysol_Please 2008-11-23 10:15:48 PM  
Erebus1954: Archie DeBunker:

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.

Oh noes! It says Paul is dead, nooooooo!


miss him miss him

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:16:03 PM  
Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:16:33 PM  
Annamonster: why don't they just take the cushions off and flip it over, jeez, try and find out what it is before claiming your couch is haunted.

Sometimes, it's better not to...

i5.photobucket.com

 
specialk111 2008-11-23 10:17:29 PM  
After listening to the audio, it sounds like a bad porn with Zuul making an appearance near the end.

 
EvelFarknievel 2008-11-23 10:20:41 PM  
That's someone running their fingers down the teeth of a gotdamm comb.

 
Tony_Pepperoni 2008-11-23 10:22:21 PM  
It's a mouse ! under the floor or in the baseboard.
I've heard it a few times at night.

/Dumbasses

 
sneako 2008-11-23 10:22:47 PM  
it sounds like a fat chick in a rocking chair.

i should know. im a fat chick that sits in rocking chairs.

 
Bexta 2008-11-23 10:23:13 PM  
aww David Tennants little face made me feel better

 
Erebus1954 2008-11-23 10:24:15 PM  
tonesskin: Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

I don't believe in ghosts. But it's funny, to this day I will not watch a ghosty movie, like The Shining for instance, if I am alone in the house.

Why am I afraid of something I don't believe in? Some corner of my mind must think it's a possibility.

In other words, I am lying to myself.

 
DiRF 2008-11-23 10:24:47 PM  
Heroic Poser: ...it's farts trying to escape.

"But he just said, 'Whoo!'..."
img360.imageshack.us

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:31:21 PM  
Maybe the couch is trying to tell them to get their fat, snaggle-toothed asses off of it?

 
nomodomo 2008-11-23 10:31:29 PM  
First thing I thought of

img241.imageshack.us

 
cthu1hu 2008-11-23 10:32:50 PM  
Erebus1954: tonesskin: Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

I don't believe in ghosts. But it's funny, to this day I will not watch a ghosty movie, like The Shining for instance, if I am alone in the house.

Why am I afraid of something I don't believe in? Some corner of my mind must think it's a possibility.

In other words, I am lying to myself.


Our brains are hardwired for magical thoughts. Even the most disciplined scientific minds are guilty of it. I wouldn't say you're lying to yourself. It's just natural instinct getting in the way of reason for a moment..

 
Dwight_Yeast 2008-11-23 10:33:19 PM  
Sum Dum Gai: Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

to be fiar, they're wirting for five year-olds.

/aren't they?

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:34:06 PM  
Norad: People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

Yeah, just like the people who believe in Jesus Christ.

 
farkingatwork 2008-11-23 10:35:42 PM  
Heroic Poser: I have studied the Paranormal for over 20 years. After careful studying of the audio plus running it through Adobe Audition to heighten noises through the Graphic Equalizer, then consulting a team of 20 other scientists, we have all concluded that...

...it's farts trying to escape.

"She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away.

And there's my witness.


Bah, Weeners is my thoughts exactly.

Stinky gassy brits.

 
HowAboutNo 2008-11-23 10:37:44 PM  
Sounds like Nigel having his way with Christine.

/rockin', don't bother knockin', etc.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:41:28 PM  
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Norad: People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

Yeah, just like the people who believe in Jesus Christ.


As a person or as a deity? The former is suspect but highly possible. The latter is pretty close to impossible.

 
gr8fultom 2008-11-23 10:43:13 PM  
The truth is out there . . . well, it's probably just slipped down the back along with 47p in loose change, two elastic bands and a broken biro.

Just wondering wtf a broken biro is.

 
darkeyes [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:43:56 PM  
i6.photobucket.com

Quick! Call these douche bags so they can do a lockdown in the living room and we can watch them run around screaming like little pussies when they hear something!

/Ghost Hunters good
//Ghost Adventures bad
///slashies

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2008-11-23 10:51:37 PM  
ScottHimself: If you believe in the paranormal raise your hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

 
davidphogan [TotalFark] 2008-11-23 10:52:18 PM  
My name is David Hogan. Look at those links.

It's embarrassing, it really is. He used to take up the first two pages of Google saying he had raised 300-500 people from the dead in rural parts of Mexico. People trusted and believed in this bullshiat.

A haunted couch scares me less. And it doesn't bastardize my damned name.

 
namegoeshere 2008-11-23 10:54:16 PM  
Rats. Sofa King biggassed rats chewing their way up through the stuffing. Each nibble bringing them closer... and closer... and closer...

 
Ailurophile 2008-11-23 10:55:48 PM  
gr8fultom: The truth is out there . . . well, it's probably just slipped down the back along with 47p in loose change, two elastic bands and a broken biro.

Just wondering wtf a broken biro is.


A pen (like a Bic stick pen) IIRC.

 
UsikFark 2008-11-23 10:56:08 PM  
Is it just me or is the link to the audio broken?

 
Steed Lankershim 2008-11-23 10:58:47 PM  
Sounds like old people f*cking

 
DarkGeneral 2008-11-23 11:00:02 PM  
Yeah haunted couch......B.S.

 
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