I have studied the Paranormal for over 20 years. After careful studying of the audio plus running it through Adobe Audition to heighten noises through the Graphic Equalizer, then consulting a team of 20 other scientists, we have all concluded that...

...it's farts trying to escape.

"She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away.

And there's my witness.

Sofa King Haunted.

supernaturaltoe: Sofa King Haunted.

Win.

skinink: "Experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. "

I am Sofa King Wee todd id.

Not win. Two minutes too late.

My couch isn't haunted. My ass is.

People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

Loose change does have dead presidents on them, spooky.

It's the sound of a streetlight.

Get off. Seriously, get off.

/not maxworthy.

skinink: "Experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. "

I am Sofa King Wee todd id.

Is that a troll? Cuz you caught one.

Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

Sum Dum Gai: Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

That, and the whole article is nothing but a series of puns.

If you believe in the paranormal raise your hand.

/readies rifle

It sounds like old people having sex. Which is far more frightening than a haunted couch

It does sound creepy. I wonder if the couch has springs made out of memory metal and the springs are simply recalling an event that happened on the couch at one point in time.

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.

why don't they just take the cushions off and flip it over, jeez, try and find out what it is before claiming your couch is haunted.

FARK YO COUCH!!!

Archie DeBunker:

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.

Oh noes! It says Paul is dead, nooooooo!

Sounds like a job for:

It sounds like a creaky rocking chair. Or a monster termite chewing the frame.

OM NOM NOM!

Erebus1954: Archie DeBunker:

Has anyone thought of playing the audio backwards? I can't do it with the limited technology that I have available to me.

Oh noes! It says Paul is dead, nooooooo!

miss him miss him

Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

Annamonster: why don't they just take the cushions off and flip it over, jeez, try and find out what it is before claiming your couch is haunted.

Sometimes, it's better not to...

After listening to the audio, it sounds like a bad porn with Zuul making an appearance near the end.

That's someone running their fingers down the teeth of a gotdamm comb.

It's a mouse ! under the floor or in the baseboard.
I've heard it a few times at night.

/Dumbasses

it sounds like a fat chick in a rocking chair.

i should know. im a fat chick that sits in rocking chairs.

aww David Tennants little face made me feel better

tonesskin: Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

I don't believe in ghosts. But it's funny, to this day I will not watch a ghosty movie, like The Shining for instance, if I am alone in the house.

Why am I afraid of something I don't believe in? Some corner of my mind must think it's a possibility.

In other words, I am lying to myself.

Heroic Poser: ...it's farts trying to escape.

"But he just said, 'Whoo!'..."

Maybe the couch is trying to tell them to get their fat, snaggle-toothed asses off of it?

First thing I thought of

Erebus1954: tonesskin: Ah, people who believe in ghosts. Retardation at its finest.

I don't believe in ghosts. But it's funny, to this day I will not watch a ghosty movie, like The Shining for instance, if I am alone in the house.

Why am I afraid of something I don't believe in? Some corner of my mind must think it's a possibility.

In other words, I am lying to myself.

Our brains are hardwired for magical thoughts. Even the most disciplined scientific minds are guilty of it. I wouldn't say you're lying to yourself. It's just natural instinct getting in the way of reason for a moment..

Sum Dum Gai: Is it just me or is reading the SUN and their random EMPHASIS on various words just IRRITATING?

to be fiar, they're wirting for five year-olds.

/aren't they?

Norad: People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

Yeah, just like the people who believe in Jesus Christ.

Heroic Poser: I have studied the Paranormal for over 20 years. After careful studying of the audio plus running it through Adobe Audition to heighten noises through the Graphic Equalizer, then consulting a team of 20 other scientists, we have all concluded that...

...it's farts trying to escape.

"She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away.

And there's my witness.

Bah, Weeners is my thoughts exactly.

Stinky gassy brits.

Sounds like Nigel having his way with Christine.

/rockin', don't bother knockin', etc.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Norad: People who believe in ghosts are some pretty stupid assholes.

Yeah, just like the people who believe in Jesus Christ.

As a person or as a deity? The former is suspect but highly possible. The latter is pretty close to impossible.

The truth is out there . . . well, it's probably just slipped down the back along with 47p in loose change, two elastic bands and a broken biro.

Just wondering wtf a broken biro is.

Quick! Call these douche bags so they can do a lockdown in the living room and we can watch them run around screaming like little pussies when they hear something!

/Ghost Hunters good
//Ghost Adventures bad
///slashies

ScottHimself: If you believe in the paranormal raise your hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

My name is David Hogan. Look at those links.

It's embarrassing, it really is. He used to take up the first two pages of Google saying he had raised 300-500 people from the dead in rural parts of Mexico. People trusted and believed in this bullshiat.

A haunted couch scares me less. And it doesn't bastardize my damned name.

Rats. Sofa King biggassed rats chewing their way up through the stuffing. Each nibble bringing them closer... and closer... and closer...

gr8fultom: The truth is out there . . . well, it's probably just slipped down the back along with 47p in loose change, two elastic bands and a broken biro.

Just wondering wtf a broken biro is.

A pen (like a Bic stick pen) IIRC.

Is it just me or is the link to the audio broken?

Sounds like old people f*cking

Yeah haunted couch......B.S.