Yeah? sometimes that is the only way to communicate with a 15 year old.

Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from those negative behavior patterns. We've talked about this. When you kick your sister in the head, it makes me feel like you don't respect her. In turn, that makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm afraid that if you kick your sister in the head, I may have to put you in Time Out.

Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from using the F-word. When you use the F word to speak to me, it makes me feel like you're being disrespectful. You don't hear me using the F-word, do you? I would appreciate it if, in the future, you tried to speak to me the way you want me to speak to you. Can we do that? I'm afraid that if you use the F-word again, I may have take away your computer for a day.

Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from calling your mother a whore. When you call your mother a whore, it makes her feel like you don't respect her. How would you feel if I called you a bad name? Not very good, I'm sure. Please try to speak respectfully to your mother in the future. I'm afraid that if you call your mother a whore again, I may have to take away one of your television hours tonight.

Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from stealing money from my wallet. When you steal money from my wallet, it makes me feel like I can't trust you. You want me to trust you, don't you? I'm afraid that if you take money from my wallet again, I may have to ground you.

Timmy, I...ah, fark it. Come here you little bastard.

Pocket Ninja: Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from those negative behavior patterns. We've talked about this. When you kick your sister in the head, it makes me feel like you don't respect her. In turn, that makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm afraid that if you kick your sister in the head, I may have to put you in Time Out. am a strawman.

/FTFY
//if your kid behaves like a monster, it's probably your fault
///raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap
////rarely grounded as a teen because I respected my parents

Saborlas: raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap

How many step-kids have you raised?

Saborlas: Pocket Ninja: Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from those negative behavior patterns. We've talked about this. When you kick your sister in the head, it makes me feel like you don't respect her. In turn, that makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm afraid that if you kick your sister in the head, I may have to put you in Time Out. am a strawman.

/FTFY
//if your kid behaves like a monster, it's probably your fault
///raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap
////rarely grounded as a teen because I respected my parents

ODD is a legitimate ailment.

If your child isn't a monster, that's because you have an easy child to take care of. Parents aren't necessarily better when they have an easy child, they just got off lucky.

That'll learn 'im

Saborlas:
/FTFY
//if your kid behaves like a monster, it's probably your fault
///raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap
////rarely grounded as a teen because I respected was repeatedly beaten by my parents

FTFY

For once I'm here after the Simpsons reference

/Homer is NOT a real therapist

Hey, even the best chef sometimes just throws together some macaroni and cheese.

real shaman: Saborlas: raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap

How many step-kids have you raised?

Bravo.

AR55: If your child isn't a monster, that's because you have an easy child to take care of.

Yes, everyone is equally good at parenting. No one every does a poor job and gets a misbehaving brat as a reward, it is solely luck of the draw.

Knight without armor: i160.photobucket.com

That's what I came in here for...

What was I saying about the thin veneer of civilization in another thread? Oh yeah, that people revert to savagery when they figure out the rules don't apply (or are not being applied).

This applies to 15-year olds in suburbia, as well. If children are not enculturated in the home with firm and loving discipline and instruction, they will not learn to respect the limits society places on them. By the time they reach the age of 15 it is arguably too late. By then you have an uncontrollable savage on your hands. Good luck with that.

/stepkid who turned out okay

davidphogan: Knight without armor: i160.photobucket.com

That's what I came in here for...

Me too.

Those who can't do, teach?

Beware the Freudian Orthodoxy

//With apologies to "Beware the Spanish Inquisition"

//Infinity Complex

Here's the guy's website...


Dynamic Parenting

M0nkeyp0x: real shaman: Saborlas: raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap

How many step-kids have you raised?

Bravo.

And a lot of step-kids have every right to be pissed off at their divorced/remarried parents. I'm not saying they have a "right" to act like little farkwads, though.

/never had kids, partly because I knew it was a huge responsibility.
//but mostly because I don't like kids
///biologically abnormal?

Kids make mistakes...period, no matter how their parents raise them. The smart ones learn from their mistakes. It's the adults job to have the better judgement and not do something stupid.

hero tag? oh i wish i could taze my kids sometimes.

stepkids thread, eh? anyone have advice on spoiled rotten stepkids that don't do homework? we found booze in the 14 year old's room and mom believed her when she said "i don't know how it got there."

/still wish i could shave heads and taze them.
//two girls 14 and 16
///mom condones their shenanigans.

MadAzza: M0nkeyp0x: real shaman: Saborlas: raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap

How many step-kids have you raised?

Bravo.

And a lot of step-kids have every right to be pissed off at their divorced/remarried parents. I'm not saying they have a "right" to act like little farkwads, though.

/never had kids, partly because I knew it was a huge responsibility.
//but mostly because I don't like kids
///biologically abnormal?

I don't want kids. Granted, it is possible that I would change my mind, but I think a dog sounds like a much better idea.

Besides, I want to spend my money on toys for me, not some brat.

I see therapists going ballistic on their bio-kids, too. And physicians. And judges and cops. And others.

paratactical: but I think a dog sounds like a much better idea.

a dog is so much more loving and always happy to see you when you get home.... never had a dog get attitude.....

real shaman: paratactical: but I think a dog sounds like a much better idea.

a dog is so much more loving and always happy to see you when you get home.... never had a dog get attitude.....

So true. Our younger daughter behaved better around her step-dad, bio-dad couldn't handle it (he's the therapist). We've never had much trouble with any dog - except Lady, the Cocker Spaniel who is an unfortunate puppy mill dog (we got too excited when we saw her at the mall). She's 15, but still not nearly as difficult as the younger daughter was at 15.

Another perfect opportunity to use the Ironic tag...wasted

AR55: ODD is a legitimate ailment excuse for crappy parenting skills, usually a refusal to say no to your snot nosed brat..

FTFY

This deserves the Ironic tag more than a FLA tag. Choking your 15 year old punk isn't unique to Florida. We're not the ones leaving our kids in Nebraska.

StoneColdAtheist: enculturated

My vocabulary feels embiggened.

Sometimes kids are just bad. Stangling still not warranted, just take them to Nebraska. Well, you used to have that option.

"those who can't, teach"

Most therapists are mentally messed up. I deal with them all the time in my line of work. OCD, narcissistic, neurotic.

Thank god I realized in college that I didn't want to be a therapist after all. I hate to think of how it would have screwed me up inside to go into that field.

My mother somehow thought I was a disobedient, belligerent, spoiled teenager. I did terrible things like check out the maximum allowable amount of public library books (50), listen to her Bob Dylan records without permission, and sometimes didn't feel like hauling water to cows at 1 am. I also forgot dental appointments!

Then my sister came along...who pierced who own nose in the school bathroom with a safety pin, for starters. Nothing recommended by Dr. Dobson ever worked on my sister. It was like trying to discipline Godzilla with a wooden spoon.

Atypical Person Reading Fark: real shaman: paratactical: but I think a dog sounds like a much better idea.

a dog is so much more loving and always happy to see you when you get home.... never had a dog get attitude.....

So true. Our younger daughter behaved better around her step-dad, bio-dad couldn't handle it (he's the therapist). We've never had much trouble with any dog - except Lady, the Cocker Spaniel who is an unfortunate puppy mill dog (we got too excited when we saw her at the mall). She's 15, but still not nearly as difficult as the younger daughter was at 15.

My parents have always said that they had plants and they lived, so they got a cat.

The cat lived, so they got a dog.

The dog lived, so they had kids.

/my parent's logic, let me show you
//the dog was a great dog
///well trained too
///much harder to do with kids

hyperspacemonkey: My vocabulary feels embiggened.

New Improved Lord of the Rings; coming soon...

Embiggened Baggins........he's big...he's back...he's BAGGINS

TheFarkinEmpress: Most therapists are mentally messed up. I deal with them all the time in my line of work. OCD, narcissistic, neurotic.

Thank god I realized in college that I didn't want to be a therapist after all. I hate to think of how it would have screwed me up inside to go into that field.

I'd have to say that being a therapist doesn't actually cause those disorders. Generally, being a therapist is an outlet for said disorders, and for those therapists self-aware enough to recognize they have them, it's a way to understand them. Also, I've noticed that many OCDs and neurotics are drawn to medical professions.

try fect taa daa: stepkids thread, eh? anyone have advice on spoiled rotten stepkids that don't do homework? we found booze in the 14 year old's room and mom believed her when she said "i don't know how it got there."

/still wish i could shave heads and taze them.
//two girls 14 and 16
///mom condones their shenanigans.

My advice? Get the fark out before one of them has a disagreement with you and comes up with the bright idea of accusing you of abuse. Whether it's true or not, your life will be a living hell from that moment on.

/watched it happen twice to friends
//had proof they were lying both times
///CPS doesn't care about truth, just making themselves look heroic

Saborlas: Pocket Ninja: Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from those negative behavior patterns. We've talked about this. When you kick your sister in the head, it makes me feel like you don't respect her. In turn, that makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm afraid that if you kick your sister in the head, I may have to put you in Time Out. am a strawman.

/FTFY
//if your kid behaves like a monster, it's probably your fault
///raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap
////rarely grounded as a teen because I respected my parents

Yeah, but you sure grew up to be an asshole.

BStorm : try fect taa daa: stepkids thread, eh? anyone have advice on spoiled rotten stepkids that don't do homework? we found booze in the 14 year old's room and mom believed her when she said "i don't know how it got there."

/still wish i could shave heads and taze them.
//two girls 14 and 16
///mom condones their shenanigans.

My advice? Get the fark out before one of them has a disagreement with you and comes up with the bright idea of accusing you of abuse. Whether it's true or not, your life will be a living hell from that moment on.

/watched it happen twice to friends
//had proof they were lying both times
///CPS doesn't care about truth, just making themselves look heroic

try fect taa daa, I winced when I first read about your stepdaughters, because I saw the same thing BStorm mentions happen to a close friend of mine when his ~15 y/o stepdaughter got pissed at him for something. He got off lucky with just a divorce.

Sadly, I think you have no better choice.

Running with Scissors

Atypical Person Reading Fark: I see therapists going ballistic on their bio-kids, too. And physicians. And judges and cops. And others.

Know a principal with a 6th-grade kid who was already turning out to be a real handful. He had the inside scoop on all the best tricks to use.

/run-ins with law
//one stay in a locked ward for a weekend
///on his way to a long-term treatment facility or military school, last I heard

greatgodyoshi; maybe you're right, and they already have those issues going into it. It seems the longer they've been a therapist, the worse their issues become.

Maybe that's why I would'nt fit into the field. I didn't have those issues driving me into it-aka the 'god complex'.

AR55: Saborlas: Pocket Ninja: Timmy, I would like you to please refrain from those negative behavior patterns. We've talked about this. When you kick your sister in the head, it makes me feel like you don't respect her. In turn, that makes me feel like you don't respect me. I'm afraid that if you kick your sister in the head, I may have to put you in Time Out. am a strawman.

/FTFY
//if your kid behaves like a monster, it's probably your fault
///raise 'em right and they don't DO this crap
////rarely grounded as a teen because I respected my parents

ODD is a legitimate ailment.

If your child isn't a monster, that's because you have an easy child to take care of. Parents aren't necessarily better when they have an easy child, they just got off lucky.

No, it isn't. It's another catchall "disorder" that's diagnosed when parents do a shiat job of raising and disciplining their children, or when they just don't behave the way the parents want/expect them to (like perfect little Stepford kids) and, instead, behave like normal children.

Rodeodoc:This deserves the Ironic tag more than a FLA tag. Choking your 15 year old punk isn't unique to Florida. We're not the ones leaving our kids in Nebraska.

THIS

FunkOut: My mother somehow thought I was a disobedient, belligerent, spoiled teenager. I did terrible things like check out the maximum allowable amount of public library books (50), listen to her Bob Dylan records without permission, and sometimes didn't feel like hauling water to cows at 1 am. I also forgot dental appointments!

Then my sister came along...who pierced who own nose in the school bathroom with a safety pin, for starters. Nothing recommended by Dr. Dobson ever worked on my sister. It was like trying to discipline Godzilla with a wooden spoon.

There's your problem: Mum was a brainwashed Christ-fag who took advice from a con-man. Sister saw through the bullshiat.

BStorm: try fect taa daa: stepkids thread, eh? anyone have advice on spoiled rotten stepkids that don't do homework? we found booze in the 14 year old's room and mom believed her when she said "i don't know how it got there."

/still wish i could shave heads and taze them.
//two girls 14 and 16
///mom condones their shenanigans.

My advice? Get the fark out before one of them has a disagreement with you and comes up with the bright idea of accusing you of abuse. Whether it's true or not, your life will be a living hell from that moment on.

/watched it happen twice to friends
//had proof they were lying both times
///CPS doesn't care about truth, just making themselves look heroic

So you're saying that abuse doesn't happen? BULLshiat! CPS isn't perfect, but they *have* to take *all* allegations seriously, otherwise they wouldn't be doing their jobs. There are already too many cases of abused children ending up farking DEAD because CPS *didn't* take action.

wmdkitty:
So you're saying that abuse doesn't happen? BULLshiat! CPS isn't perfect, but they *have* to take *all* allegations seriously, otherwise they wouldn't be doing their jobs. There are already too many cases of abused children ending up farking DEAD because CPS *didn't* take action.

I think the problem is that real abuse doesn't get reported and bullshiat made-up abuse does.

Not much CPS can do about that, but I do think they're assholes.

wmdkitty: So you're saying that abuse doesn't happen? BULLshiat! CPS isn't perfect, but they *have* to take *all* allegations seriously, otherwise they wouldn't be doing their jobs. There are already too many cases of abused children ending up farking DEAD because CPS *didn't* take action.

That's not what he said at all, and you know it. What he (and countless others) are saying is that CPS have for years taken a "ready - fire - aim" approach to any allegation, no matter how ill founded or implausible. A man is 'guilty until proven innocent' in their eyes, and the best one can hope for is a living hell while the issue is resolved.

Furthermore, your argument of "There are already too many cases of abused children ending up farking DEAD" does NOT trump the rights of the accused. We either live in a society of laws, with a presumption of innocence, or we do not. We don't get to choose when it's expedient.

The system is not perfect, but then again, we are not yet at the stage of "Minority Report", either.

It is different with your own kid?

I don't approve of strangulation though.

Madame Ovary: It is different with your own kid?

I don't approve of strangulation though.

It does improve orgasm.

Okay this thread got boring fast. I'm going to talk about my appendicitis adventure instead. Again.

When I was a Senior in H.S. I woke up one morning and felt like I had been kicked in the balls. Told my mom (dad wasn't around at the time) who told me to call her if it was still an issue later on in the day. My junk pretty much felt like it owed the mafia money all day so I gave her another call around noon. She called the office, who gave me permission to leave, and I headed over to the doctor's office.

Female doctor on call at the time, who came in and asked me what the problem was. Told her, she left, nurse came in to do her usual deal with all the "what's the problem? Vomiting? Diarrhea? etc." routine, and then waited in there with me while the doctor came in. 2 older females, neither bad looking, and myself in the room at this time. Doc asks me to lay back and relax, goes to pull down my waistband.

ATTENTION!

A bit embarassing, but I figured it was an everyday thing for them. Apparently since I wasn't 18 at the time a second person had to be in the room during the inspection, so I was laying back on a table looking up at 2 women standing over my junk at about chest-level. Like I said, embarassing but not a huge deal. Pants were back up after she moved me around a bit and asked a buncha questions, all with my raging hard-on grasped in her hand pretty much how I'd hold it during Scott's Happy Time. I get referred to a specialist a few miles away. Get in the car and drive, get there, and realize it's another female doctor.

Fantastic.

Same situation, essentially the same pseudo-embarassment and awkward silences between questions while she holds my boner in her hand. She sends me to the hospital. By the time I get there I've got lower-abdomen pain and a horrific case of blue balls. I was sitting in the waiting room for all of about 20 seconds before a male doctor calls me in.

I never thought I'd be so happy to find out a dude was going to toy with my junk. I didn't think I could handle another one.

As I'm undressing and he's asking me questions a female in doctor's attire walkes in.

Awesome. Thanks alot.

Apparently she was an intern. So a half-minute later I'm standing up in front of a male and female, both staring intently at my cock, and they literally take turns moving me around while the female asks questions and the male responds.

Scott Junior's in limbo, and can't make up his mind, so finally settles for pseudo-after-sex-boner. A few minutes later the female leaves and the doctor tells me I've probably got appendicitis and need to hang out on-watch for a few hours. He gives me the information I need to head over to a hospital room and gives my mom a call to let her know.

I managed to wait all of 5 minutes in the room before going to rub one out.

By 3am the next morning I was a pound lighter, didn't have an appendix, and had post-catheter-eurethra, which is the most ridiculously painful condition to piss with I've ever experienced.

Moral: It's impossible to not get a hard-on if a woman is messing with your dick and you're 17, even if it hurts.

Pocket Ninja

Unfortunately, there are far too many parents who talk that way to their kids. My sister-in-law used to speak like that to her eldest son. Starting when he was under two.

There are no words to describe how much he hates her.

/approves
//hot hot hot