Sounds like a gamble to me.

that certainly gives new meaning to the phrase "all in"

We should train these type of people to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

I bet they've always got a full house.

The dominos are falling into line like a house of cards...

Checkmate.

Funk Brothers: We should train these type of people to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

Not to piss on your idea... but what training does it take to work at McDonalds or Walmart? Also, I don't think the Brits have Walmarts.

My father recently suggested putting prisoners on exercise bikes to generate electricity. I feel pretty good about the idea.

I think a mandatory street-dance competition would be more advantageous, considering the current trend in crappy movie genres.

Funk Brothers: We should train these type of people to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

You want somebody who is used to sticking condoms full of heroin up their ass preparing your food?

Or they could just stick with the method of letting prisoners train dogs and help not only the inmates, but the animals as well.

and have the taxpayers fund it of course

So? If it works, then good.

They're exercising their wits, aren't they? Isn't that what keeps difficult individuals out of trouble? It might even earn them a living on the outside. I can think of plenty of worse occupations for a person who is habitually hostile to authority and routine than being a low-level pro poker player. It's a legitimate occupation.

Quantumbunny: Not to piss on your idea... but what training does it take to work at McDonalds or Walmart? Also, I don't think the Brits have Walmarts.

Nothing and would prevent prisoners from doing repeat visits to prison for crimes. Wal-Mart does in fact own ASDA.

fernandez: You want somebody who is used to sticking condoms full of heroin up their ass preparing your food?

At least going to McDonald's will have some meaning.

Vanetia: Or they could just stick with the method of letting prisoners train dogs and help not only the inmates, but the animals as well.

I completely agree with this.

Not only does it help with prison, it also helps with family, work (depending.) or any place that fosters stress.

One of my friends works at a retirement home and their conditions for residents is that they cannot be allergic to animals. Each resident has the option of taking care of a pet. It does wonders.

Funk Brothers: fernandez: You want somebody who is used to sticking condoms full of heroin up their ass preparing your food?

At least going to McDonald's will have some meaning.

McDonalds?

Meaning?

Dude, I can tell you never worked there. The managers has sadistic tendacies.

CrispFlows: McDonalds?

Meaning?

Dude, I can tell you never worked there. The managers has sadistic tendacies.

You have to understand that you gotta put cocaine in the Coca-Cola.

I guess the license plate union is pretty strong in the UK?

Okay, being Fark, I bet that someone's heard of Joe Arpaio. He brought back chaingangs, and, to be fair to the sexes, has female ones, too. They do the highway cleaning, as well as a lot of the other jobs that few people, outside of immigrants, want to do.

Can somebody explain why buttsecks/drugs/fighting is even a problem?

Why do violent prisoners even interact with each other?

Here's my plan for a prison: each prisoner is locked into a room with a terminal, a bed, a treadmill, and a bathroom. The terminal displays news and educational material, and can be used as a phone when the prisoner is permitted to contact others.

It is their only human contact.

Open the door when their sentence is through.

Watch out for Deebo, he's always got the nuts.

This: Can somebody explain why buttsecks/drugs/fighting is even a problem?

Why do violent prisoners even interact with each other?

Here's my plan for a prison: each prisoner is locked into a room with a terminal, a bed, a treadmill, and a bathroom. The terminal displays news and educational material, and can be used as a phone when the prisoner is permitted to contact others.

It is their only human contact.

Open the door when their sentence is through.

Because that's expensive. Terminal, Treadmill and a personal bathroom? Even on the cheap, altogether, it's a grand per inmate.

So they'll all come out of there with gambling addictions or budding ones to feed. Good thinking, guys!

I don't see a problem with this at all. At least it gives them something to do, and something enjoyable and sociable.

What is the subby's solution? Take away everything and give them nothing to do all day? Of course they'll get into trouble.

OHHH NOOOOOO. SOMEONE BOUGHT FELT AND CHIPS WITH THE TAXPAYERS MONEY.

Brockway: 24/7 solitary confinement in a 8x8x8 box of cement with no release or visitation of any kind, ever.

Didn't they used to do this and it resulted in people going insane? (meaning we have to pay to put them back in another bin...just this time with rubber walls and lots of drugs). Seems more expensive in the long run...

Mor Pheus: I don't see a problem with this at all. At least it gives them something to do, and something enjoyable and sociable.

What is the subby's solution? Take away everything and give them nothing to do all day? Of course they'll get into trouble.

I'd find it funny if the reason they're in prison to begin with is gambling-related.

Let's face it: gambling is a vice. I loves me some poker (and will take you all on in a texas holdem game), but to be using it as something to help with the prison population's attitudes and lifestyle choices? Not the best idea.

As I mentioned before, training animals is a far better alternative. It helps the prisoners psychologically as well as teaching them useable skills. And it helps the animals find new homes. Some programs specifically have puppies brought in and trained as service dogs, so it helps the community as a whole instead of just the prisoner and animal.

Quantumbunny: Funk Brothers: We should train these type of people to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

Not to piss on your idea... but what training does it take to work at McDonalds or Walmart? Also, I don't think the Brits have Walmarts.

I can imagine a multiple choice test like this one:

"When a fellow employee bumps into you do you
a) Stare them down like a junk yard dog, ensuring that you are not the first to look away.
b) Make them have an "accident" in the sporting goods section.
c) Say "oops" and keep working.
d) Brutally rape them"

CrispFlows: This: Can somebody explain why buttsecks/drugs/fighting is even a problem?

Why do violent prisoners even interact with each other?

Here's my plan for a prison: each prisoner is locked into a room with a terminal, a bed, a treadmill, and a bathroom. The terminal displays news and educational material, and can be used as a phone when the prisoner is permitted to contact others.

It is their only human contact.

Open the door when their sentence is through.

Because that's expensive. Terminal, Treadmill and a personal bathroom? Even on the cheap, altogether, it's a grand per inmate.

Think how much they'd save on guards, repairs, commons stuff, etc. Once you consider the other expenses, a terminal and a bathroom seems minor.

They already get a pisser and a sink don't they? So all you need to add is a shower stall and a terminal - and computers are cheap these days.

Well, even if they werent doing something productive, subby would probably have pur "at the taxpayers expense".


I guess when we take a persons freedoms from them, its only fair the taxpayers pay for it.

After all, when there was chain gangs, nobody ever said "at the taxpayers benefit".


//subby fails by using the cliche of cliches.

Let them be bored.

If we dispense with the (wholly fictional) concept that prison is other than punishment and segregation, the choice remaining is whether the comfort and preferences of convicted felons should be given higher priority than those of the people they killed, robbed and assaulted.
For the slow witted, the answer is no.
"Humanitarian" concerns do not exist.
How to tell if the prisoner is being treated well?
1. is he alive?
2. does he ever stop screaming?
Answers to both in the affirmative are as much humanitarian concern as they need - and more than they showed their victims.

Now then: how best to control their rage, hostility, etc.?
Quite simple: their appearance should be modeled after Jacob Marley. Nothing takes the starch out of an inmate like carrying around 80 lbs. of chain.

Are we quite certain that this change, if implemented, will have the desired effect (prisoners reduced to morose, lethargic silence)?

Let's find out.