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(Contact Music) Silly Who's the next performer to follow in the footsteps of Bette Midler and Cher? Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan   (contactmusic.com) divider line 51
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Third_Uncle_Eno 2008-11-18 02:11:53 AM  
well this was not expected....
weird.....hmmmm.....

/still thinks "lateralus" is their best album. i did not care very much for their latest one.
// i still think Maynard has one of the greatest [lead] voices in music of the past 18 years.
// some of the others, IMHO, are Thom Yorke, Eddie Vedder, Win Butler and Jim James [among others, most of which i can't think of right now lol]

 
Darchangel 2008-11-18 02:16:44 AM  
What a tool.

 
suicide 2008-11-18 02:32:20 AM  
this is not entirely shocking.

 
Raptor Jesus 2008-11-18 02:36:26 AM  
I guess he's been smoking too much of the pot. Hope this doesn't cause a schism in the band.

 
sadbad 2008-11-18 02:37:55 AM  
Third_Uncle_Eno:
// some of the others, IMHO, are Thom Yorke, Eddie Vedder, Win Butler and Jim James [among others, most of which i can't think of right now lol]


You know, when I read Win Butler I was thinking, "Really?"

But upon further thinking, yeah, really.

/The band as a whole makes for a rather...impressive vocal performance.

 
tallguywithglasseson [TotalFark] 2008-11-18 02:45:36 AM  
I think "weird" is just kind of par for the course for that guy.

 
TheFunChicken 2008-11-18 02:49:18 AM  
But what sort of mystic symbolism can be integrated into a vegas variety show?

 
shaggenstein 2008-11-18 02:52:29 AM  
is he going to have bob and dave on?

 
zusya 2008-11-18 02:59:01 AM  
Raptor Jesus: I guess he's been smoking too much of the pot. Hope this doesn't cause a schism in the band.

I hope the undertowfrom his sobering decision to stinkfist his career like this will shed new light on the parabola of his band's career so we can discover if any grudges have been harboring and whether or not the band will be going right in two.

Intermission.

It would be a shame if this was Keenan's vicarious eulogy to how disgustipated he feels after a flood of success and fame. If he were to crawl away now and jerk-off by himself in Las Vegas, part of me and a lot of other fans would be stuck down in the bottom singing swamp songs. Keenan needs to ponder a serious reflection on the choices he's made and whether or not this jives with the mantra he's been preaching for nearly 10,000 days.

/my lateralus hurts from sitting at my computer all day...
// http://...penis/

 
zusya 2008-11-18 03:00:07 AM  
damnit!

that shouldve been:

// ...penis

 
sonnyboy11 2008-11-18 03:18:13 AM  
Sounds about par for the course. Maynard's always made a point of doing things his way (as have the rest of Tool). As much as I love to listen to him sing and watch him perform with Tool, I think his heart lies elsewhere these days. In wine mostly.

/you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!

 
browntimmy 2008-11-18 03:27:29 AM  
I don't know. Tool has had a history of pulling practical jokes on their fans. Didn't they announce a couple years ago that Maynard found God and was quitting the band?

 
Mob-Doc 2008-11-18 03:32:45 AM  
It's not out of the realm of possibility.
Maynard was active in the early 90's LA comedy scene. He was on a few episodes of "Mr.Show".
/and did a song for "Run Ronnie Run"

 
sonnyboy11 2008-11-18 03:46:34 AM  
browntimmy: I don't know. Tool has had a history of pulling practical jokes on their fans. Didn't they announce a couple years ago that Maynard found God and was quitting the band?

An April fool's joke- Maynard claimed to have found 'Jesus'.

 
Mangoose 2008-11-18 06:06:31 AM  
zusya

Subtle.

 
craigdamage 2008-11-18 06:36:28 AM  
This just in.....King Buzzo gets children's show.

 
That_Bob_Guy 2008-11-18 06:38:34 AM  
I don't see the silliness in this at all. Maynard's a very talented guy. Apart from being a musical genius, he's a consummate showman with a very well rounded sense of humor.

He will deliver.

 
jgeisle 2008-11-18 07:45:35 AM  
Well he did do a duet with Tori Amos.

Link (new window)

 
Weigard 2008-11-18 08:40:07 AM  
Great, now Vegas sucks, too.

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2008-11-18 09:48:20 AM  
Hm.
I'll be in Vegas this spring. I'll have to check it out.

 
iron_city_ap 2008-11-18 11:03:26 AM  
Considering all the other stuff he has done in his life, I'm not surprised at all.

Anyone know if his wine (new window) is any good?

 
Onkel Buck 2008-11-18 11:04:50 AM  
zusya: Raptor Jesus: I guess he's been smoking too much of the pot. Hope this doesn't cause a schism in the band.

I hope the undertowfrom his sobering decision to stinkfist his career like this will shed new light on the parabola of his band's career so we can discover if any grudges have been harboring and whether or not the band will be going right in two.

Intermission.

It would be a shame if this was Keenan's vicarious eulogy to how disgustipated he feels after a flood of success and fame. If he were to crawl away now and jerk-off by himself in Las Vegas, part of me and a lot of other fans would be stuck down in the bottom singing swamp songs. Keenan needs to ponder a serious reflection on the choices he's made and whether or not this jives with the mantra he's been preaching for nearly 10,000 days.

/my lateralus hurts from sitting at my computer all day...
// http://...penis/


You do something like that post again, I will have to kill you, in which case I will then be sent to jail and forced into having prison sex

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-11-18 11:19:12 AM  
supposedly, there are rumors of a Tool tour. Hopefully, this is not it.

I liked 10,000 Days, dammit. It wasn't a huge leap forward, but more of Lateralus' sprawling psychedelia mixed with Undertow's rockiness.

 
samperkinsdog 2008-11-18 12:09:24 PM  
i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

 
Malevolent Teaparty 2008-11-18 12:10:21 PM  
WHAT THE EFF IS MY HUSBAND DOING... Maynard. wtf.

 
NakedReporta [TotalFark] 2008-11-18 12:10:59 PM  
Well y'know, he IS the greatest singer of all time. Just ask him.

 
DecemberNitro 2008-11-18 12:58:50 PM  
samperkinsdog: i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

Who are you to wave your finger? You must be out your head, man.

 
Dwight_Yeast 2008-11-18 01:25:38 PM  
Third_Uncle_Eno: well this was not expected....
weird.....hmmmm.....

/still thinks "lateralus" is their best album. i did not care very much for their latest one.
// i still think Maynard has one of the greatest [lead] voices in music of the past 18 years.
// some of the others, IMHO, are Thom Yorke, Eddie Vedder, Win Butler and Jim James [among others, most of which i can't think of right now lol]


Jack White

 
factoryconnection 2008-11-18 01:25:57 PM  
Malevolent Teaparty: WHAT THE EFF IS MY HUSBAND DOING... Maynard. wtf.

He is wearing a shirt that is too small through the chest. You'd think someone with his financial success could afford to shop somewhere besides the "sale" rack.

 
Third_Uncle_Eno 2008-11-18 02:05:33 PM  
Dwight_Yeast
Jack White

touche. good point.

 
Southern Atheist 2008-11-18 02:09:51 PM  
samperkinsdog: i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

Thanks for your valuable contribution to the thread

 
I Like Bread 2008-11-18 02:37:24 PM  
Dwight_Yeast: Jack White

No no, he said GREATEST voices. Not "jerkasses who sing like they just got dunked in ice water".

 
killahgrag [TotalFark] 2008-11-18 04:29:58 PM  
DecemberNitro: samperkinsdog: i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

Who are you to wave your finger? You must be out your head, man.


He must have been high.

 
samperkinsdog 2008-11-18 04:42:27 PM  
Southern Atheist: samperkinsdog: i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

Thanks for your valuable contribution to the thread


fark provides the soapbox, and everyone gets a turn. my contribution carries equal weight to the next fella.

tool is overrated, and maynard's kind of a butthole.

 
Third_Uncle_Eno 2008-11-18 04:52:05 PM  
I Like Bread
No no, he said GREATEST voices. Not "jerkasses who sing like they just got dunked in ice water".

hehheh I LMAO.
+1 for you!

 
il Dottore 2008-11-18 04:57:40 PM  
Millions of drag queens are going to be dressing up like him?

DRTFA

 
Dinty Moore's Law 2008-11-18 10:10:07 PM  
Malbar: This proves what most people already knew: He's a complete fake and his fans are naive idiots.

You Miley Cyrus fans are all alike.

/"Stinkfist" with Cher and/ or Bette Midler FTW!

 
doxonrox99 2008-11-18 10:18:42 PM  
Hey


Hey


Hey

Hey

 
sonnyboy11 2008-11-19 01:09:17 AM  
samperkinsdog: Southern Atheist: samperkinsdog: i do not care for this band, nor their front man's self-aggrandizing ways.

Thanks for your valuable contribution to the thread

fark provides the soapbox, and everyone gets a turn. my contribution carries equal weight to the next fella.

tool is overrated, and maynard's kind of a butthole.


Correction, Maynard is a major butthole. But most of his buttholedness is directed at Tool fans who have earned a reputation for being idiots at live shows. It is perplexing to me since Tool's music is a bit difficult at times- hardly an easy listen. So I don't get the attraction for the morans.

On the other hand, when saw him with A Perfect Circle he seemed more relaxed and had less obvious contempt for the fans.

Oh, and Tool is not "overlooked" not "overrated". Although they're big, most people just give me a confused look when I talk about them. They never were a mainstream act and pretty much did whatever they wanted to do musically over the years, telling their label to stick it, and still got big doing it. Not an easy task when your idea of rock is 11/4 time meters and a lead singer who stands at the back of the stage on a riser... in the dark... and sometimes barely says a word to the audience.

/travelled to Belgium to see them during 10,000 Days tour
//Love Tool

 
Xythero 2008-11-19 01:20:55 AM  
He looks like shiat in those pictures.

 
Fonaibung 2008-11-19 01:36:30 AM  
NakedReporta: Well y'know, he IS the greatest singer of all time. Just ask him.shiat, I can't help but agree.

sonnyboy11: Oh, and Tool is not "overlooked" not "overrated". Although they're big, most people just give me a confused look when I talk about them. They never were a mainstream act and pretty much did whatever they wanted to do musically over the years, telling their label to stick it, and still got big doing it. Not an easy task when your idea of rock is 11/4 time meters and a lead singer who stands at the back of the stage on a riser... in the dark... and sometimes barely says a word to the audience.

Well put. I haven't seen TOOL live, despite being a huge fan, because of their notoriously asshole-ish audience. I did see APC. Maynard's voice is amazing, and is an instrument unto itself.

I really want a new album from them. The last two have been phenomenal. Lateralus is still my Album of the Decade, and only Opeth's come close.

 
Fonaibung 2008-11-19 01:38:31 AM  
Dammit... I forgot to close my tags. I fail.

NakedReporta: Well y'know, he IS the greatest singer of all time. Just ask him.

Shiat, I can't help but agree.

sonnyboy11: Oh, and Tool is not "overlooked" not "overrated". Although they're big, most people just give me a confused look when I talk about them. They never were a mainstream act and pretty much did whatever they wanted to do musically over the years, telling their label to stick it, and still got big doing it. Not an easy task when your idea of rock is 11/4 time meters and a lead singer who stands at the back of the stage on a riser... in the dark... and sometimes barely says a word to the audience.

Well put. I haven't seen TOOL live, despite being a huge fan, because of their notoriously asshole-ish audience. I did see APC. Maynard's voice is amazing, and is an instrument unto itself.

I really want a new album from them. The last two have been phenomenal. Lateralus is still my Album of the Decade, and only Opeth's come close.

 
mooseyfate 2008-11-19 11:24:15 AM  
Fonaibung: Dammit... I forgot to close my tags. I fail.

NakedReporta: Well y'know, he IS the greatest singer of all time. Just ask him.

Shiat, I can't help but agree.

sonnyboy11: Oh, and Tool is not "overlooked" not "overrated". Although they're big, most people just give me a confused look when I talk about them. They never were a mainstream act and pretty much did whatever they wanted to do musically over the years, telling their label to stick it, and still got big doing it. Not an easy task when your idea of rock is 11/4 time meters and a lead singer who stands at the back of the stage on a riser... in the dark... and sometimes barely says a word to the audience.

Well put. I haven't seen TOOL live, despite being a huge fan, because of their notoriously asshole-ish audience. I did see APC. Maynard's voice is amazing, and is an instrument unto itself.

I really want a new album from them. The last two have been phenomenal. Lateralus is still my Album of the Decade, and only Opeth's come close.


Now that I don't live in Texas, I'd love to go see a Tool show. Maynard has a Hate/Really Hate relationship with Dallas for some reason. I heard he won't even show his face on stage when he plays there.

 
sonnyboy11 2008-11-19 11:45:59 AM  
mooseyfate:

Now that I don't live in Texas, I'd love to go see a Tool show. Maynard has a Hate/Really Hate relationship with Dallas for some reason. I heard he won't even show his face on stage when he plays there.


Oh I dunno if that's just Dallas. I can count on one hand the times I've seen Maynard come close to the audience in recent memory. At the first show in San Diego, second leg of 10,000 Days, some moran shined a laser pointer in his face, he performed the rest of the show with his back to the audience. Not kidding- like a full 40 minutes without turning around except right at the end.

To be fair though, I saw more of his face with Tool than with APC. Here is how he spent the first half of the APC show I saw (still loved it)

Vanishing Live In Portland (new window)

Man, listen to that voice. When he's on, it's pretty incredible.

 
mooseyfate 2008-11-19 11:56:50 AM  
sonnyboy11: mooseyfate:

Now that I don't live in Texas, I'd love to go see a Tool show. Maynard has a Hate/Really Hate relationship with Dallas for some reason. I heard he won't even show his face on stage when he plays there.

Oh I dunno if that's just Dallas. I can count on one hand the times I've seen Maynard come close to the audience in recent memory. At the first show in San Diego, second leg of 10,000 Days, some moran shined a laser pointer in his face, he performed the rest of the show with his back to the audience. Not kidding- like a full 40 minutes without turning around except right at the end.

To be fair though, I saw more of his face with Tool than with APC. Here is how he spent the first half of the APC show I saw (still loved it)

Vanishing Live In Portland (new window)

Man, listen to that voice. When he's on, it's pretty incredible.


I don't begrudge him for it. He's farking Maynard James Keenan. He could slap me in the face for calling him Maynard James Keenan and I'd still think he was a musical god.

 
MilesTeg 2008-11-19 01:44:48 PM  
Why can't he not be sober?

 
GeekUSA 2008-11-19 01:48:45 PM  
Who knows whether this will actually happen. They release more practical jokes than actual information. If he did do it I think that he probably wouldn't do it for long because his Tool fame would be dragging too many people into the show just because they want to see him, not the show, and he wants his work to be appreciated. The same thing happened with his wine business, if you follow them you probably notice that they used to talk about it on their website. They don't anymore because it was drawing so much attention from a crowd that didn't have any interest in the wine business, just Tool fans. He did a wine signing up in Phoenix this year and the local rock radio station found out and announced it and they had someone from the event call the station and ask them to stop because the events just get flooded with a bunch of Tool fans and drive out people that are actually interested.

I saw Tool live last year, towards the start of the 10,000 Days tour and they were great. I don't know why you would even want to see Maynard all that much in a Tool show, he doesn't have the position as a front man in the band so it makes sense that he stands in the back. It would probably take away from the show if he was in front. Danny is definitely the most prominent figure in the music. Maynard is fairly quiet and instrumentals take up at least half the time in the songs, the bass and guitar play over each other all the time so there's no lead between those two, but Danny just plays very loud wide open sounding drums in all the songs and has the most impressive on stage display. I think the lay outs they chose are the best they could do.

I don't blame him at all for being stand-offish with fans or media. Unfortunately most people that go to concerts are completely uncivilized. Why anyone would go to a concert and cause problems for the band is beyond me, but they do. I wasn't on the floor when I saw Tool but they seemed to be just slightly better of a crowd than I experienced at Killswitch/Dragonforce and about a thousand times better than at Metallica which was 28,000 of the worst people I've experienced in my life. Everyone in the stands was totally bad ass though, completely friendly and just rockin out. I had a lot of big guys next to me, we were in the front row, and everyone was jumping around so hard that the stands started collapsing and they were at like a 30 degree angle by the time the show was over. I would like to see them again in a all seated venue. The only concert that I've ever been to where the crowd actually acted like human farking beings was a show that The Fall of Troy headlined. As far as interaction with fans on an individual level goes, why would anyone want to deal with a bunch of drunks and stoners that aren't even going to attempt to have any sort of stimulating conversation with you? Same goes for the media, pretty much, they say they hate getting asked the same questions over and over and talking to people that don't have any interest in the band but that's who they send and that's what they ask them. The only good interviews that have been done with Tool have been musician to musician because no one else can come up with anything interesting to say to them.

I hate that Tool's gotten a bad wrap because everyone else is an idiot.

 
I_Forgot_My_Pen 2008-11-19 02:31:25 PM  
The guy does want he wants on his own terms which very few in his line of work get to do. If he goes through with this it would probably be good. More than likely David Cross would end up there too which would be cool.

 
sp0rk_of_psychosis 2008-11-19 10:11:06 PM  
I_Forgot_My_Pen: The guy does want he wants on his own terms which very few in his line of work get to do. If he goes through with this it would probably be good. More than likely David Cross would end up there too which would be cool.

I would pay good money to see a musical number where the crescendo is the {fake} offing of David Cross. Toss David Sedaris in for good measure as well.

 
SLADE 2008-11-20 09:55:11 AM  
simply this is something he would do to poke fun at the industry.

 
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