Satanism is just another form of Christian heresy.

The cult leader in question.

submitter: Because whoever heard of snakes in Florida?

I've heard of Snakes on a Plane, but I haven't seen it yet.

Did one of them tell him to partake of forbidden fruit?

abb3w: Satanism is just another form of Christian heresy.

I love pointing out how satanists believe all the same things as Christians about how the universe works, they just pick the other side.

Churchill2004: abb3w: Satanism is just another form of Christian heresy.

I love pointing out how satanists believe all the same things as Christians about how the universe works, they just pick the other side.

And are much more polite about it to boot.

Oh, and I forgot.

There is no such thing as a Satanic Cult.

That shiat is so 90's.

abb3w: Satanism is just another form of Christian heresy.

Well, uh... yeah. What's your point? Did someone claim otherwise at some point?

I hope Satan's like Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate. Thats a dark lord I'd vote for.

I see we are all here for our weekly Atheists Against Christianity meeting this Sunday. Who has a new way to cheese off the faithful?

Kongressman Grandma: I hope Satan's like Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate. Thats a dark lord I'd vote for.

As long as he's not like Al Pacino in The Godfather Part III

I would only start to worry if the plague of snakes was followed up by plagues of badgers and mushrooms.

Get these mutha farkin snakes off this mutha farkin church!

/drtfa

As someone who grew up in the swamps of south Louisiana, I must say that you never brushed up against the low hanging branches of a Cypress tree, or any other tree for that matter, just in case a snake was laying there. Snakes have been known to fall on people before. Believe me when I say this, that is some funny shiat to see.

Q: whoever heard of snakes in Florida?

A: Anybody not living in Florida.

I really don't know. I know they have gators. Snakes? No idea.

myalias1845

Damn You, Beat Me Too It.

/Also DNRTFA

The Stuart News reported that Ricci was being held down by six or seven offended parishioners when deputies arrived at St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church in Jensen Beach.

He was probably just homeless, hungry and mentally ill. Nice of them to attack him and hold him down like that. No wonder he fought back.

Body of Christ. Tastes great. Less filling.

Deanna: He was probably just homeless, hungry and mentally ill. Nice of them to attack him and hold him down like that. No wonder he fought back.

He should have gone to the handy atheist homeless shelter and soup kitchen right down the street from that evil church then. The atheists have thousands of them in every city. And the food is DELICIOUS!

NutWrench 2008-11-16 06:32:56 AM
I would only start to worry if the plague of snakes was followed up by plagues of badgers and mushrooms.

awesome.

FTA I'm not one to believe in coincidence

But you believe in Satanic cults, anthropomorphic 'evil' with control over snakes, and a consecrated host having any more significance than you spoke a few words. Your track record is decidedly against you being a skeptic fellow.

mikaloyd The atheists have thousands of them in every city.

Atheism has no tithe.

Sketch of what the priest may look like:



/it's not a hat!

snakes trying to get in on this incident ... WTF?

Every time I hear the word 'Priest', for me, it's an immediate throwback to weird antediluvian sh*t.

Back to a time when little was known, and everything ran on superstition.


My, oh my. Haven't we come a long way, babies?

Cakeboy: Q: whoever heard of snakes in Florida?

A: Anybody not living in Florida.

I really don't know. I know they have gators. Snakes? No idea.

Yep, we got those too.

Greetings from Florida!

Snakes get a bad rap thanks to superstitious folk. They're just as important a piece of the ecosystem as any other natural creature, plus they're cool to watch!

Are they talking snakes? Like in the bible?

ninjakirby: Oh, and I forgot.

There is no such thing as a Satanic Cult.

That shiat is so 90's.

This. Thank you.

mike4688

Hee hee hee!!1one good job there mike4688.

BobXXL: Greetings from Florida!

Lovely specimen. I've heard they can climb right up the bark of those trees. I'd love to see that in action some day.

I thought Florida WAS a Satanic cult?

P.A.G.A.N.S?

Vangor: mikaloyd The atheists have thousands of them in every city.

Atheism has no tithe.

Well, not technically since "tithe" is 10%. Atheist churches, however, do expect 5% (source). I don't know what 5% would be called... half-tithe? Something else? Who knows?

mikaloyd: I see we are all here for our weekly Atheists Against Christianity meeting this Sunday. Who has a new way to cheese off the faithful?

Well I started putting snakes in some trees outside of a church a few weeks ago.

I had this guy working for me, who told me that he needed to sit behind another employee, so he could watch him because the other employee "put snakes in his yard".

I told him he could sit wherever he wanted to.

Satanists are much less annoying compared to Christians. They accept people for who they are and embrace differences as opposed to condemning those that go against the "norm".

mikaloyd: Deanna: He was probably just homeless, hungry and mentally ill. Nice of them to attack him and hold him down like that. No wonder he fought back.

He should have gone to the handy atheist homeless shelter and soup kitchen right down the street from that evil church then. The atheists have thousands of them in every city. And the food is DELICIOUS!

It's god's will. It has to be, because god lets it happen, right?

ninjakirby: mikaloyd: I see we are all here for our weekly Atheists Against Christianity meeting this Sunday. Who has a new way to cheese off the faithful?

Well I started putting snakes in some trees outside of a church a few weeks ago.



Every year I try setting up some Germanic pagan fir trees in a church's parking lot next to a for-sale sign to call attention to the hypocrisy of being so materialistic in a supposedly spiritual setting but they never seem to get the message.

GilRuiz1: Vangor: mikaloyd The atheists have thousands of them in every city.

Atheism has no tithe.

Well, not technically since "tithe" is 10%. Atheist churches, however, do expect 5% (source). I don't know what 5% would be called... half-tithe? Something else? Who knows?

One humanist Universal Unitarian church asks 5%.

not 'Atheist churches'.

And I'd venture to say that the vast majority of atheists are not associated with any organization. Just like most theists don't go to church.

Denial_of Death wins!!

GilRuiz1: Vangor: mikaloyd The atheists have thousands of them in every city.

Atheism has no tithe.

Well, not technically since "tithe" is 10%. Atheist churches, however, do expect 5% (source). I don't know what 5% would be called... half-tithe? Something else? Who knows?

Titty?

GonzoNihilist: P.A.G.A.N.S?

Nice work, Joe.

I live in Florida and it really wouldn't be that unbelievable for a snake to wrap itself around some bicycle handlebars. Indigos and black racers are known to climb trees and fall on people. This happened to me in my back yard a couple weeks ago. They're both harmless species, though they may bite if provoked. Boa constrictors are also an invasive species, and have been known to eat alligators and pets. So we do have plenty of snakes.

As for the snakes trying to get in, I bet some black racers or corn snakes or ringnecks or something like that were sunning themselves on the church porch or sidewalk. If Satanists had put them there, or magically sent them to the church, the snakes would run away in fear into the closest bushes from the humans involved. They're pretty shy creatures.

I also like how the church pastor defines evil as stealing a book and some crackers.

Churchill2004: abb3w: Satanism is just another form of Christian heresy.

I love pointing out how satanists believe all the same things as Christians about how the universe works, they just pick the other side.

Not quite. Satanists (of the LaVeyan variety) normally believe in head for an eye (instead of eye for an eye) and lots of personal responsibility, it's kind of like the libertarianism of religions. Christians (not necessarily all of them, unfortunately) believe in turning the other cheek, loving your neighbor and your enemy, and all that.

To me, a LaVeyan Satanist seems more of an anti-social ass than regular Christians (who, since there are so many, can range from great people to violent racist pricks). Although I don't think religion can be a thing to define a person's character, I think their character is what draws them to a certain religion or sect (at least where there are choices).

Matrix Flavored Wasabi:
Not quite. Satanists (of the LaVeyan variety) normally believe in head for an eye (instead of eye for an eye) and lots of personal responsibility, it's kind of like the libertarianism of religions.

Most of LaVey's 'writings' are taken almost directly from the philosophy of Ayn Rand.

I am more scared of a church that calls the cops on some kid who gets a handful of wafers than...satanist.
Satanist actually make me laugh.

Matrix Flavored Wasabi: it's kind of like the libertarianism of religions

Yeah, fark you. I'm a libertarian atheist, and I know a lot of libertarians, and the idea that libertarians are anti-social or atomistic is a load of bullshiat that originates with people criticizing libertarianism without knowing what the hell it actually is. It's an ideology that holds up cooperation and voluntary interaction as the highest ideal. It's not anti-social in the slightest.

So don't conflate us with some bizzare religion.