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(Independent) Obvious British 'men' urged to put down their hair gel: "With hard times ahead, man-bag-clutching metrosexuality is out, and old-fashioned machismo is flexing its muscles once again"   (independent.co.uk) divider line 128
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lerry [TotalFark] 2008-11-01 08:20:35 PM  
Which is great as long as they keep their mouths shut!

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2008-11-01 08:31:06 PM  
Yes, that's right cavemen, STFU and GBTW bringing home the brontosaurus.

 
Roook [TotalFark] 2008-11-01 09:19:18 PM  
Oh man it's so hard to keep up with male fashion. So I'm supposed to be a burly man now to be trendy and fashionable? Well ok! If you say so.

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2008-11-01 09:25:48 PM  
Style tip #1024: Crisco has exceptional hold and adds shine and body.
Remember, you can cut costs but you can't give up on the Sex Panther

i6.photobucket.com

 
gbrudy16 2008-11-01 11:02:27 PM  
what is the point of going through a depression if I can't look good doing it?

 
nunia 2008-11-01 11:53:53 PM  
I don't dig around in the dirt all day to come home to a feminine man.

At least, not anymore I don't.

 
Sarah Jessica Farker [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-11-01 11:54:31 PM  
this 'obvious' tag needs to swap places with the 'unlikely' tag on the 'marry James Bond' thread below...

 
jaymanchu 2008-11-01 11:56:00 PM  
So those men who paid tons of money for laser hair removal got screwed? I feel bad for them.

/I hate facial hair but without it I look like a serial killer
//mustache rides FTW!!!!

 
t3knomanser 2008-11-01 11:57:26 PM  
I've never been a "masculine man" or a metrosexual, so I have absolutely no relation to these replies.

//I dress like an old school Time Lord, if that counts for anything.
//My wife made me a scarf.

 
Gunny Walker 2008-11-01 11:57:35 PM  
British 'men' urged to put down their hair gel: "With hard times ahead, man-bag-clutching metrosexuality is out, and old-fashioned machismo is flexing its muscles once again"

Man-bag-clutching is old-fashioned machismo.
/I got your hair gel right here!

 
valencia 2008-11-01 11:59:41 PM  
i'd take a scrawny computer tech who can barely grow a mustache over any metrosexual or stubbly muscular tough guy

gel sucks anyway, go for the pomade if you want to style your hair

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:00:13 AM  
Not a club using a cavemen, but neither a guido. I'm just... Me.

 
Rat [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:01:20 AM  
Is over-tanning still in or is that just a New Jersey thing.

© or are guidos the same worldwide, I'm cornfused

 
Oldiron_79 2008-11-02 12:01:32 AM  
Does this mean Mutton Chops are gonna come back in style?

 
citizen905 2008-11-02 12:01:48 AM  
British 'men' urged to put down their hair gel: "With hard times ahead, man-bag-clutching metrosexuality is out, and old-fashioned machismo is flexing its muscles once again

In other words, out with the pretend sodomy, and in with the real sodomy.

 
HowAboutNo 2008-11-02 12:02:09 AM  
British trifecta in play?

streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com
streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com
streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com

 
fragMasterFlash 2008-11-02 12:04:00 AM  
rcain: Style tip #1024: Crisco has exceptional hold and adds shine and body

img112.imageshack.us

I don't want Crisco Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan Man!

 
00ghost27 2008-11-02 12:04:13 AM  
The girl violently convulsing over to the right, frightens me.

 
belhade 2008-11-02 12:04:28 AM  
Not british, but here's a quick pop quiz:

41miles.files.wordpress.com

Which is the metrosexual jewish nerd, and which is the ex-NFL defensive linesman?

 
Oroblanco 2008-11-02 12:05:23 AM  
Letting someone else tell you how to be a man is the least manly thing you can do. Isn't it?

 
phaseolus 2008-11-02 12:08:20 AM  
fta:"Away from such harsh realities, the media has instituted its own anti-metro backlash. But until recently retrosexuality - the promotion of a recidivist, back-to-basics blokeishness ... has been largely cosmetic, just another pose for the metrosexual to strike.

"... the retrosexual is actually just a metro in disguise: he is simply using different mediated images with which to construct his ersatz manly persona."


The author's lurked in every single fark.com discussion of masculinity and gender roles that's ever been, hasn't he??? He's pretty much captured the zeitgeist of this place in those couple sentences...

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:09:17 AM  
Yeah, this means so much coming from the country that brought us Boy George, Duran Duran, Benny Hill and the Royal Navy.

 
poxic 2008-11-02 12:13:00 AM  
The trends announced by media, for men, are exactly as stupid as those announced for women.

What I want in a man: someone who is exactly who he is, and doesn't pretend to be anything else. Show me who you are. We'll figure out whether we actually want to hang out together, and we'll figure it out quickly. Hey wow, we aren't compatible, so let's stop BSing and keep looking.

(Granted, it took me some time to learn how to be what I am, and not what Mommy or Media told me I should be. I'd expect anyone under ~30 to be as confused as I was.)

/watch the old biddy rant (if nearly 40 = old biddy, which I suspect it is on Fark)

 
thepersonalgoddess [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:13:53 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Yeah, this means so much coming from the country that brought us Boy George, Duran Duran, Benny Hill and the Royal Navy.

Don't knock Benny Hill. That man is one of the gods of comedy.


Why can't nerdy, shy guys be in style?

 
xebeche_tzu 2008-11-02 12:15:29 AM  
Women like a man who throws dog poop on their shoes.

 
thalidomide new and improved 2008-11-02 12:20:15 AM  
shiat I did today, while you girls were manscaping and masturbating to feminine men:

a) Chopped wood (1.5 ricks)
b) Ate a two-pound Ribeye, cooked over a wood fire
c) nailed my pregnant wife--she's double pregnant now (delivers in March, and now, again in August
d) Helped to assemble an Army tent
e) shot a weapon

Hair gel is for girls. whether those girls have penises or not, means little to me

 
HawkEyes 2008-11-02 12:20:27 AM  
"...a metaphorical call to arms for British males, encouraging us pick up our spades, trowels and toolkits...maybe we'll stop calling our newborn sons Rio and Rocco and start naming them Stanley and Wilf."

Wilf? Trowls and toolkits? Is it just me or does the British attempt at masculinity seem not so successful. Wilf?

 
BenderZone 2008-11-02 12:22:03 AM  
I just grew a beard for the winter. I'm mid 30's and never had a beard before.

So, I'm in-tune with current fashion trends. Maybe I'll get laid.

 
fragMasterFlash 2008-11-02 12:24:38 AM  
thalidomide new and improved: whether those girls have penises or not, means little to me

I, for one, prefer my girls to be completely penis free.

 
Itchy Bear Cub 2008-11-02 12:25:07 AM  
Maybe we'll stop calling our newborn sons Rio and Rocco and start naming them Stanley and Wilf.

Wilf?

i2.photobucket.com

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-11-02 12:26:10 AM  
i300.photobucket.com

www.dlisted.com

Only works on men who were pretty to start with.

 
cthu1hu 2008-11-02 12:27:02 AM  
man-bag-clutching metrosexuality

i37.tinypic.com

"It's a European Carry-All!"

 
Mentalpatient87 2008-11-02 12:27:29 AM  
You know, I'm not a hardcore manly man, I'd actually define myself as the quiet, sensitive, intellectual type. That said this whole metrosexuality thing is the biggest load of shiat and repressed teh ghey the world has, or perhaps will ever know.

 
BenderZone 2008-11-02 12:28:17 AM  
UPDATE: I just got laid. IT WORKS!!!

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:29:48 AM  
thalidomide new and improved: shiat I did today, while you girls were manscaping and masturbating to feminine men:

a) Chopped wood (1.5 ricks)
b) Ate a two-pound Ribeye, cooked over a wood fire
c) nailed my pregnant wife--she's double pregnant now (delivers in March, and now, again in August
d) Helped to assemble an Army tent
e) shot a weapon

Hair gel is for girls. whether those girls have penises or not, means little to me


What do you want, a cookie? Look, even if you did these things, this is the internet, you can't really prove anything.

I could say that I have a 10-pound cock, own as many rifles as I have fingers, rides as Harley Davison, kill my meat with my bare hands, when I'm truth I'm just something else.

 
eeviewontwakeup [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:30:46 AM  
i57.photobucket.com


Does not approve.

 
This 2008-11-02 12:31:03 AM  
So women want manly men again? Awesome.

Now get back in the kitchen or I'll pop you one.

 
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat 2008-11-02 12:31:06 AM  
Just go to Goodwill stoned and buy the most attractive men's shirts they have. You'll be metro before your friends even have a chance to let you know.

 
HawkEyes 2008-11-02 12:31:51 AM  
BenderZone: UPDATE: I just got laid. IT WORKS!!!

Boobies: 12:22:03
Second post: 12:28:17

That a personal best for you there?

 
gibbon1 2008-11-02 12:32:36 AM  
thepersonalgoddess: Gyrfalcon: Yeah, this means so much coming from the country that brought us Boy George, Duran Duran, Benny Hill and the Royal Navy.

Don't knock Benny Hill. That man is one of the gods of comedy.

Why can't nerdy, shy guys be in style?


Shy nerdy guys are always in style. They just take a bit longer to mature enough for women find them attractive. So cheer up sometime when your forty some lady who spent her twenties farking around with the manly men will suddenly look at you and realize that your shoes cost $500.

 
BenderZone 2008-11-02 12:33:17 AM  
I had time to eat a sammich too!

 
This 2008-11-02 12:34:24 AM  
poxic: What I want in a man: someone who is exactly who he is, and doesn't pretend to be anything else. Show me who you are. We'll figure out whether we actually want to hang out together, and we'll figure it out quickly. Hey wow, we aren't compatible, so let's stop BSing and keep looking.

That's all well and good, but the dude whose favourite pastimes are Starcraft, Paintball, and porno damned well knows that there's maybe 1000 dudes like him for every chick who'd put up with that. So, we bullshiat, because you really don't like us for who we are.

Don't worry, women do the same thing. Nobody wants to know you've got the names of your future kids picked out.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:34:44 AM  
HawkEyes: "...a metaphorical call to arms for British males, encouraging us pick up our spades, trowels and toolkits...maybe we'll stop calling our newborn sons Rio and Rocco and start naming them Stanley and Wilf."

Wilf? Trowls and toolkits? Is it just me or does the British attempt at masculinity seem not so successful. Wilf?


??? Stanley? You guys need to get some shovels and chainsaws and start working on names like Og the Berserker or Spike the Maneater. Watch more American slasher movies.

 
MrHappyRotter 2008-11-02 12:34:45 AM  
BenderZone: I had time to eat a sammich too!

What kind of sandwich?

 
thepersonalgoddess [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:36:03 AM  
BenderZone: I had time to eat a sammich too!

Men have two main emotions: Horny or Hungry.
If he doesn't have a boner, make him a sammich.

Sometimes it can develop into the third emotion: HORNGRY

 
HawkEyes 2008-11-02 12:36:14 AM  
HawkEyes: BenderZone: UPDATE: I just got laid. IT WORKS!!!

Boobies: 12:22:03
Second post: 12:28:17

That a personal best for you there?


OK I learned the 1 st P OS T automatic conversion to boobies rule today. So I got that going for me.

 
Elzar [TotalFark] 2008-11-02 12:36:41 AM  

 
KrispyKritter 2008-11-02 12:39:49 AM  
poxic is right on the money. most under 30 are near clueless, and should just keep their freaking mouths shut and look pretty - which is about all they are good for.

/yadda yadda yadda

 
SeismicJizzer 2008-11-02 12:41:01 AM  
Who uses gel anymore? Just a tad of pomade is the way to go.

 
Alex Chilton 2008-11-02 12:42:39 AM  
CygnusDarius: thalidomide new and improved: shiat I did today, while you girls were manscaping and masturbating to feminine men:

a) Chopped wood (1.5 ricks)
b) Ate a two-pound Ribeye, cooked over a wood fire
c) nailed my pregnant wife--she's double pregnant now (delivers in March, and now, again in August
d) Helped to assemble an Army tent
e) shot a weapon

Hair gel is for girls. whether those girls have penises or not, means little to me

What do you want, a cookie? Look, even if you did these things, this is the internet, you can't really prove anything.

I could say that I have a 10-pound cock, own as many rifles as I have fingers, rides as Harley Davison, kill my meat with my bare hands, when I'm truth I'm just something else.


I have a 10-pound cock, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

 
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