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(Contact Music) Followup Michael descends from his gold-plated plane, takes off his baby seal fur mittens to inform Tito and Jermaine that the Jackson 5 reunion ain't happening, puts back his $10k glasses, demands five pandas be brought to him immediately   (contactmusic.com) divider line 12
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HappyHarryHardOn [TotalFark] 2008-10-31 01:29:02 AM  
www.topnews.in

we're missing one!

 
Wrong_Intentions 2008-10-31 08:14:00 AM  
He molest pandas now, too?!

 
baltimoreblonde 2008-10-31 10:08:02 AM  
Lo, he cometh! The King!
*bows*

/good grief
//always wanted to do that

 
buddyrtr 2008-10-31 10:28:51 AM  
Am I the only one to think, "What a dickhead"?

 
The Slush 2008-10-31 10:43:02 AM  
If Led Zeppelin can get Steven Tyler to replace Robert Plant, then the Jackson 5 should get Usher or Timberlake to replace Jacko.

 
SSChicken 2008-10-31 11:33:35 AM  
Jermaine's been trying to get this family reunion tour off the ground for 15 years now, I feel sorry for him. Then to top it off he didn't even win "Gone Country" earlier this year.

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-10-31 11:47:04 AM  
Jackson 5 reunion? is there even a market for this? As flabbergasted as I was about the NKOTB reunion, this is just even more out there.

 
jvcturntable 2008-10-31 12:26:51 PM  
Considering all the press lately about Michael being on the verge of bankruptcy, this surprises me. I figured he'd be just as strapped for cash as the rest of the family.
Maybe this shows how delusional Michael really is. If the Jackson 5 reunited, they could basically print their own money. Hell, I don't own a single record by any Jackson, I listen to punk and metal all day long and I'd probably want to go see them live.

 
theurge14 2008-10-31 02:47:00 PM  
Is this what we really need right now?

img391.imageshack.us
img76.imageshack.us

 
DeepDownHounds 2008-10-31 03:31:03 PM  
I remember the "Victory" tour sponsored by Pepsi in 1982(?). You had to buy tickets by mail, and you had to buy them in groups of 4. I believe the tickets were $150 apiece.

No one was shelling out $600 (in 1982 money, no less) to see The Jackass 5. They only did it because Michael Jackson wasn't touring for Thriller and having to watch his lame-ass brothers was something you had to sit through to get a glimpse of Michael doing what he did best.

MJ was a badass back then.

/Emphasis on WAS

 
DeepDownHounds 2008-10-31 03:33:51 PM  
Oh yeah, one more thing:

What's white and comes in small cans?

www.extrememortman.com

 
zappaisfrank [TotalFark] 2008-10-31 05:03:37 PM  
There was once a Fark thread which asked the question (paraphrasing) "If you could go back in time and eliminate one act/artist from musical history, what would it be?"

My answer was The Jackson Five.

Worthless, bubblegum music sung by a whiny sounding eight year old. Plus it opened the doors for all the rest of the "Jackson" bullshiat that followed.

My band presently plays a rocked up cover version of America's "Ventura Highway" (which Janet sampled into an awful hip/pop song). When we play it, I always introduce it as "Janet Jackson stole this song from America...we're stealing it back."

They can all rot in hell with their dickhead father.

 
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