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(Yahoo) Obvious Channeling his inner Joe Namath, McCain guarantees victory on Election Day. Book it. Done   (fe30.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com) divider line 92
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1845 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Oct 2008 at 2:20 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Patrick [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 11:51:03 AM  
Not that I'm a McCain supporter, but technically he didn't actually say he guarantees a win. At least not according to that article. I haven't actually seen his interview. He said he guaranteed it would be close and he believes he will win.

 
Girl From The North Country [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 11:51:27 AM  
Isn't that cute? He's just like The Little Engine That Could.

 
bloobeary 2008-10-26 11:57:42 AM  
FTA: Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press" that he can "guarantee" a win on Nov. 4 in a squeaker victory that won't be clear until late that night.

Someone's expecting the fix to be in, methinks.

Late at night, the numbers suddenly change. Sounds really familiar.

-c*

 
FarKnight 2008-10-26 12:01:29 PM  
www.smh.com.au

not on her watch.

 
dillenger69 [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 12:03:05 PM  
This should fit well with the Republican theme of declaring victory then finding out you'd lost horribly in the real world.

McCain campaign declares ... "Mission Accomplished"

/yea, it worked well last time.

 
phenn 2008-10-26 12:07:15 PM  
FarKnight: not on her watch.

Her veneers are a tad too blue. She should have them retinted.

 
Dread Pirate Slasher 2008-10-26 12:20:33 PM  
phenn: FarKnight: not on her watch.

Her veneers are a tad too blue. She should have them retinted.


img396.imageshack.us

Better?

 
MsInterpreted 2008-10-26 12:33:37 PM  
FarKnight: not on her watch.

What are all of the people who bought her eyeglass frames going to do after 11/4/08?

 
Majick Thise [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 01:18:47 PM  
At this point if McLame/Failin do win they will have Diebold to thank for it.

 
Aarontology [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 01:45:41 PM  
MsInterpreted: FarKnight: not on her watch.

What are all of the people who bought her eyeglass frames going to do after 11/4/08?


Wail and gnash their teeth at a God that didn't "Do the right thing for America" as Palin has said.

 
namatad [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:04:04 PM  
Majick Thise: At this point if McLame/Failin do win they will have Diebold to thank for it.

this
strange that he thinks it will be close
science says otherwise
what does he know that we dont know?

has there been a secret campaign by the GOP?
to lie to all the polsters? say obama even when you mean mccain.
that way all the numbers would be lies
all the nubmer around the total of the US

yup
numbers dont lie, unless there is fraud involved

/sigh - bring out the lawyers
/no wait - the maverick is one honest joe, he would never condone any cheating, right?

 
Psychotropic 2008-10-26 02:14:49 PM  
John McCain has Joe the Voting Machine Programmer on his side.

 
haemaker [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:16:01 PM  
The Cubs are still waiting for the final returns to come in.

 
namatad [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:16:53 PM  
Psychotropic: John McCain has Joe the Voting Machine Programmer on his side.

heh heh

when did it become OK to talk down to us like we were retarded children?

 
Linux_Yes [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:24:45 PM  
McAin't forgot that joe pesci wants his money back


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GG5hkrx40

 
jcooli09 2008-10-26 02:25:49 PM  
There's no risk here for McCain because he's already given up his credibility.

 
bv2112 2008-10-26 02:27:33 PM  
cheat to win

 
SaladMonkey 2008-10-26 02:27:50 PM  
You know who else thought they would get victory at Waterloo?

 
epocalypse 2008-10-26 02:29:47 PM  
there they go again, mixing up the obvious and unlikely tags. sad, really...

 
Bill Frist 2008-10-26 02:29:51 PM  
Obama is drawing crowds 50 times as large (new window) as McCains... in farking New Mexico!!!

This race is done.

 
kabloink 2008-10-26 02:30:36 PM  
SaladMonkey: You know who else thought they would get victory at Waterloo?

Waterloo, Iowa?

Must have been some farmer fighting weevils.

 
fizzygillespie 2008-10-26 02:30:41 PM  
Immediately, when I hear "guarantee," my mind goes back to Diebold-Ohio in 2004. And I get scared.

Then I remember the fact that these people can barely put a decent speech together or even articulate a single policy. Incompetence runs rampant...I find it hard to believe they can cobble together the resources necessary to steal the election in a dozen states. And then I start to feel a little bit better.

But I'm still terrified. If the GOP knows anything, it's how to cheat. I'm hoping my fears are unfounded; I've been hurt before. I don't want to go through that again.

 
Wil_Mahfingahdo 2008-10-26 02:32:11 PM  
Lets not forget about the electoral blah blah blah. Suck my balls, McCain. Suck them.

 
PlasticMoby 2008-10-26 02:32:12 PM  
Girl From The North Country: Isn't that cute? He's just like The Little Engine That Could.

yeah, except the Little Engine that Could. . .you know. . did.
McCain? Not so much.

 
deeproy 2008-10-26 02:33:35 PM  
So, he's admitting they're going to cheat...?

 
Bacontastesgood 2008-10-26 02:33:35 PM  
www.npr.org

 
Masso 2008-10-26 02:33:46 PM  
FarKnight: not on her watch.

Well done. It's only a matter of time before Palin reveal she's Democrat double agent to ensure their victory.

Palin: Infiltrating the 2008 Republican Presidential campaign since 2004.

 
robbiedo 2008-10-26 02:33:52 PM  
FarKnight: not on her watch.

She is pretty even when making faces. Unfortunately, I completed my Oregon ballot last night, and sealed it. Can't change my vote Sarah, but still willing to give you the best 30 seconds of your life.

 
epocalypse 2008-10-26 02:34:13 PM  
deeproy: So, he's admitting they're going to cheat...?

and how!

 
DistendedPendulusFrenulum 2008-10-26 02:34:17 PM  
FarKnight: not on her watch.

That has to be the single ugliest pair of glasses on the entire planet.

.

 
mksmith 2008-10-26 02:36:00 PM  
With nearly all the polls in contested states showing large margins for Obama, and with such a large turnout of pro-Obama voters in the early voting, and with even most of the conservative pundits and strategists admitting McCain hasn't a chance, . . . well, if McCain suddenly starts "winning" states that 24 hours before were +9 for Obama, the Joint Chiefs may have to take over for awhile.

/good thing they're all for Obama

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-10-26 02:37:44 PM  
"I guarantee you that two weeks from now, you will see this has been a very close race, and I believe that I'm going to win it," McCain told interim "Meet" moderator Tom Brokaw.

Quite a stretch calling that a guarantee.

But McCain is right about how it is going to be close and the count won't be done until late that night. People that actually believe Obama is going to win by giant margins are morans. Whoever wins, it will be close.

 
ValisIV 2008-10-26 02:38:37 PM  
He's gonna drop Palin soon, that's what all this coverage of her "going Rogue" is all about. It's so he can justify dropping her, and adding either Lieberman or Romney at the last second. It's his final Hail Mary. It didn't work before, but he's gonna try, things are pointing in that direction, anyway. The base will still stand with him, or is so out of touch they won't know in time, and some independents will switch over. It works for Palin if she wants to try in '12, and is the only shot McCain has this year.

 
lima beans [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:42:19 PM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum: FarKnight: not on her watch.

That has to be the single ugliest pair of glasses on the entire planet.

.


DAMMIT
I ORDERED 42 PAIRS!

/not

 
xria 2008-10-26 02:42:55 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: "I guarantee you that two weeks from now, you will see this has been a very close race, and I believe that I'm going to win it," McCain told interim "Meet" moderator Tom Brokaw.

Quite a stretch calling that a guarantee.

But McCain is right about how it is going to be close and the count won't be done until late that night. People that actually believe Obama is going to win by giant margins are morans. Whoever wins, it will be close.


It isn't a stretch calling it a guarantee at all. It just isn't a guarantee of victory. And close depends on how you measure it - on the popular vote it is almost certainly going to be fairly close, in terms of EV it might not be so close, but that will depend on the next week or so plus lots of other factors.

 
Oakenshield 2008-10-26 02:44:25 PM  
He may. Never underestimate the .. uh.. determination .. of the American people.

Nor Diebold.

 
ruinevil 2008-10-26 02:44:29 PM  
Diebold is working hard to reprogram all the voting machines to ensure the win for McCain.

 
SquirrelWithLargeNuts 2008-10-26 02:46:44 PM  
barneyfifesbullet

But McCain is right about how it is going to be close and the count won't be done until late that night. People that actually believe Obama is going to win by giant margins are morans. Whoever wins, it will be close.


Please, Mr. NotMoran, tell me how you think the electoral vote is going to shape up to make it anything near close for McCain.

 
Aliquis 2008-10-26 02:47:08 PM  
Well, what's McCain supposed to do? He can't concede yet. He has to wait until he actually loses the election. Otherwise, why have an election? I personally am glad that he is piping on about how he's going to win because we still need everyone who is supporting Obama to go out and vote for Obama. If he just concedes and says he lost before the election, well, that would suck for Obama - because a lot of people would just decide to stay home rather than wait on line to vote. And there are DEFINITELY going to be lines this year.

 
ArgusRun 2008-10-26 02:49:54 PM  
I'm at the jets gqme right now, and they just honored namath and the other '68 Jets at halftime. So I'm really getting a kick... Challenge it you jackass, he was down!! Sweet jesus we suck.

 
bronyaur1 [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 02:56:22 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: "I guarantee you that two weeks from now, you will see this has been a very close race, and I believe that I'm going to win it," McCain told interim "Meet" moderator Tom Brokaw.

Quite a stretch calling that a guarantee.

But McCain is right about how it is going to be close and the count won't be done until late that night. People that actually believe Obama is going to win by giant margins are morans. Whoever wins, it will be close.


Absolutely everything, except fact and reality, agrees with you.

 
LarryDan43 2008-10-26 02:57:12 PM  
Yep, he's in touch.

 
LewDux 2008-10-26 02:59:35 PM  
He's a driver, he's a winner, things are gonna change, he can feel it

 
Aeonite [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 03:04:40 PM  
skeptisys.files.wordpress.com

 
Rovian 2008-10-26 03:04:53 PM  
bloobery
omeone's expecting the fix to be in, methinks.

Late at night, the numbers suddenly change. Sounds really familiar.


I worry that it was already too late 4 and 8 years ago.

 
Larry Mahnken [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 03:05:29 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: But McCain is right about how it is going to be close and the count won't be done until late that night. People that actually believe Obama is going to win by giant margins are morans. Whoever wins, it will be close.

Yeah, those morons going on the actual polling data showing that Obama is more likely to win in a blowout than lose. And not those 538.com projections, actual polling data.

Obama is dead certain to win:
Maine's 1st CD and At-Large EVs
Vermont
Massachusetts
Rhode Island
Connecticut
New York
New Jersey
Delaware
Maryland
DC
Michigan
Wisconsin
Illinois
Minnesota
Iowa
New Mexico
California
Oregon
Washington
Hawaii

That's 238 electoral votes, 270 needed to win (269 to go to the House, where he'll win). We'll leave Pennsylvania on the fence, even though it really isn't, because McCain's only *real* chance to win is to flip Pennsylvania.

Polls close at 7 ET in Virginia and Indiana. Ohio closes at 7:30. At 8:00 Florida, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Missouri and Maine close.

Pennsylvania will likely be called for Obama at 8:00, giving him 259 electoral votes. So whenever one of Virginia, Indiana, Ohio, Floria or Missouri are called for Obama, we will know that Obama is President. It is possible that Virginia will be called at 7:00. We may know that Obama has won by 8:00, even though he hasn't been called for 270 yet.

If McCain can win (or at least be close enough to not have the states called for Obama yet) in all those other tipping points, Colorado closes at 9:00pm. Obama is almost certain to win Colorado, which seeing as we'll almost certainly know by then that he's won Maine's 2nd Congressional District, would put him at 269, and a certain (eventual, when the House votes amid protests by Republicans) victory.

We'll know that Obama has won by 10:30. Just in time for Colbert to fake-weep.

 
lilbjorn 2008-10-26 03:05:52 PM  
Channeling his inner Joe Namath, McCain guarantees victory on Election Day. Book it. Done

Would that be a money-back guarantee?

 
dodecahedron [TotalFark] 2008-10-26 03:06:03 PM  
ValisIV: He's gonna drop Palin soon, that's what all this coverage of her "going Rogue" is all about. It's so he can justify dropping her, and adding either Lieberman or Romney at the last second. It's his final Hail Mary. It didn't work before, but he's gonna try, things are pointing in that direction, anyway. The base will still stand with him, or is so out of touch they won't know in time, and some independents will switch over. It works for Palin if she wants to try in '12, and is the only shot McCain has this year.

Can he do this, though, if voting has already started? I'm interested to know the answer to this. I don't think he'll dump her but I'd like to know if he could if he wanted to.

 
PirateFreedom 2008-10-26 03:06:18 PM  
The last thing Al Qaida wants is a calm collected American president with an Islamic sounding name.
They may do more than just make a tape this time to support their interests and it may work.
The election is not over.

 
Explodo 2008-10-26 03:12:21 PM  
Bill Frist: Obama is drawing crowds 50 times as large (new window) as McCains... in farking New Mexico!!!

This race is done.


You must not be clear on politics in New Mexico...it's a heavily democrat state.

Are you also surprised that water is wet?

 
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