If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(Guardian.com) Interesting UK survey identifies most likely causes of death according to location. Apparently most people killed while surfing the net were aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 47
More: Interesting  

47 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 04:41:51 PM  
I want this T-shi

 
sofa_King_2006 2008-10-19 04:42:36 PM  
I have been having weird tightness in my chest lately so I am getting a kick out of thes

 
outback_rebel 2008-10-19 04:42:41 PM  
MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!

 
Last of the Crazy People 2008-10-19 04:44:48 PM  
fap, fap, fap, kabonk.

 
outback_rebel 2008-10-19 04:45:19 PM  
outback_rebel: He must have died while typinging it.

That's what I get for only deleting part of the word...

 
This Is MY Handle this Is My Spout 2008-10-19 04:47:45 PM  
outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!



Now can I get that on a t-shirt?

 
weatherwax 2008-10-19 04:47:51 PM  
outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!


The Black Beast of Arggg was the first thing I thought of too.

You farking nerd!

 
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel 2008-10-19 04:49:20 PM  
You can't brea?

What's Spanish tar got to do with it?

/got to do, got to do with it
//what's tar, but a sticky black emulsion

 
bajonista 2008-10-19 04:49:23 PM  
outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!


Subby totally dictated that.

 
Riche [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 04:55:48 PM  
i181.photobucket.com



Candlejack appr

 
Auth 2008-10-19 05:02:28 PM  
I'm gonna need more rope.

 
albuquerquehalsey 2008-10-19 05:03:11 PM  
HHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGHH

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 05:05:58 PM  
tbn0.google.com

 
leegalizit 2008-10-19 05:06:10 PM  
bajonista: outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!

Subby totally dictated that.



Subby dictated that, eh?
You know who else was a dictator?

 
amazing_live_seamonkeys [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-10-19 05:06:51 PM  
Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death:

one, rigor mortis;

two, a rotting smell;

three, occasional drowsiness.

 
Tegro 2008-10-19 05:07:09 PM  
img523.imageshack.us

 
indylaw 2008-10-19 05:07:10 PM  
Most common causes of death in England: Scotch eggs, fry-up and dental infections.

 
clambam 2008-10-19 05:10:50 PM  
"The one exception is Great Shelford in Cambridgeshire, where the leading cause of death is breast cancer."

Umm... for men too?

 
clambam 2008-10-19 05:12:30 PM  
I'd also like to know how many people die in Great Britain from embarrassment over the cutesy-wootsy place names.

 
Echo35 2008-10-19 05:13:27 PM  
outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!


I came here expecting this. Thank you.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 05:15:44 PM  
clambam: I'd also like to know how many people die in Great Britain from embarrassment over the cutesy-wootsy place names.

"I wouldn't be caught dead in a place called *looks at sign* gaaacckkkhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

 
Poochner 2008-10-19 05:25:43 PM  
tegro I found two real drummers who died from what could be called gardening accidents. One died from a reaction to pesticide (Toto), one from bleeding out from broken glass wall (?) between his garden and kitchen (Abba). Prince Charles was injured in a fall from a tractor (shades of Homer Simpson). I know someone who spent a week in hospital from a fall involving sharp garden tools.

I can imagine a freak deadly knitting accident. Blogging, not so much.

 
Poochner 2008-10-19 05:28:51 PM  
Lassie: bark! bark!
kid: Lassie! What is it, girl?
l: bark! bark! bark!
k: Someone has fallen under a tractor? Who? Drunk Uncle Oscar?
l: bark! bark!
k: Prince Charles??? Now you're just making shiat up! I don't know why I ever listen to you!

 
RandomKeyStrike 2008-10-19 05:29:53 PM  
outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!


Came here fo aaarggghhh!

 
krusader3z 2008-10-19 05:31:49 PM  
Having lived in the UK for a total of two days, I can honestly say this is a TRUE POLICE STATE

Where can I go without being on camera in london? Where can I go without seeing someone in a reflective vest. Reality in this state is you are always monitored.

/citizen

 
LordBollocks [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 05:31:58 PM  
usera.imagecave.com

 
Single White Male 2008-10-19 05:45:59 PM  
krusader3z: Where can I go without being on camera in london?

Nowhere. Big brother wants to watch you take a whiz.

 
allsave 2008-10-19 06:05:14 PM  
How are you most likely to die?

Democracy: Ski-Doo accident
Totalitarian Regime: Pick one: Killed by enemy soldiers, killed by own soldiers
Theocracy: Bunker-buster
Socialist State: Combination boredom/industrial mishap
Third-World Resort Island: Hit by Ski-Doo
Post-communist Kleptocracy: Stabbed in own basement casino
Military Junta: Jungle rot
Constitutional Sultanate: Forgot S&M "safe word"
Occupied Territory: Sneezing at checkpoint
Constitutional Robocracy: Body energy over-siphoned by the robots...the horrible, horrible robots

/not obscure

 
rgdelong 2008-10-19 06:05:51 PM  
And they are the smart ones.

 
luckykobold 2008-10-19 06:13:57 PM  
Arrrg....


/this page has expired

 
Least Extreme Elimination Challenge 2008-10-19 06:20:58 PM  
allsave: How are you most likely to die?

Democracy: Ski-Doo accident
Totalitarian Regime: Pick one: Killed by enemy soldiers, killed by own soldiers
Theocracy: Bunker-buster
Socialist State: Combination boredom/industrial mishap
Third-World Resort Island: Hit by Ski-Doo
Post-communist Kleptocracy: Stabbed in own basement casino
Military Junta: Jungle rot
Constitutional Sultanate: Forgot S&M "safe word"
Occupied Territory: Sneezing at checkpoint
Constitutional Robocracy: Body energy over-siphoned by the robots...the horrible, horrible robots

/not obscure


FTW

ccinsider.comedycentral.com


/good call, indeed not obscure

 
treesloth 2008-10-19 06:39:56 PM  
Came for the Monty Python reference, leaving with a feeling of peaceful contentment.

 
Oldiron_79 2008-10-19 07:26:47 PM  
Whats the most likely cause of death in an Orgy pile?

 
OscarTamerz 2008-10-19 07:35:36 PM  
Cervical cancer is most likely to kill those living in a belt stretching across the north of England, from Merseyside to Grimsby.

Since cervical cancer is pretty much an STD this tells you where the dirty girls live although there was an article about an unnamed town in the south of England (Portsmouth? London?) where the nonpaternity rate, i.e. children not related to their mothers' husbands, ran a staggering 30%.

 
BioCritter 2008-10-19 07:40:00 PM  
albuquerquehalsey

img517.imageshack.us

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 08:32:09 PM  
Oldiron_79: Whats the most likely cause of death in an Orgy pile?

Came in/came on/came out.

 
geetus 2008-10-19 09:41:29 PM  
Subby:

i17.photobucket.com

 
antiFodder 2008-10-19 09:53:55 PM  
bajonista: outback_rebel: MAYNARD:
He must have died while typinging it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea'. He'd just say it!

Subby totally dictated that.


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!

 
Wolfmanjames [TotalFark] 2008-10-19 10:04:32 PM  
Last of the Crazy People: fap, fap, fap, kabonk.

Well, that's the onematapea of how about 1/3 of Fark will go.

/Likely to be in that number.
//Thanks for the LOL.

 
ObscureNameHere 2008-10-19 10:09:25 PM  
I'm surprised there's no pic of Comic Book Guy with the cause "Comet Impact while reading a Comic"

/"I've wasted my life..."

 
Onager 2008-10-19 10:23:22 PM  
I would think it'd be colorectal cancer, what with the McDonald's and Cheetos diet.

 
Bagelox-99 2008-10-19 11:38:33 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

/fat internet cat is fat
//and on the internet

 
hienekenftw 2008-10-20 12:08:19 AM  
previous attempts to understand the spread of death across the country.

Isn't death a global epidemic by now?

 
Bagelox-99 2008-10-20 12:12:04 AM  
Yeah, and they say it's got a 100% mortality rate.

/no wait, that's life
//sorta puts a lot in perspective

 
ArtemisGoldfish 2008-10-20 12:52:17 AM  
Riche: Candlejack appr

I came expecting this, and I wasn't disap

 
kagemaru026 [TotalFark] 2008-10-20 10:15:34 AM  
Well, I've heard of at least 10 Koreans who've died at their computers...

...after 36 hours marathons of starcraft. but still, same thing.

 
jabelar 2008-10-20 04:07:49 PM  
"while in the best neighbourhoods, including Eastbourne West, 42 per cent of those who died were over 80 years old, in others, including Glasgow Easterhouse, 25 per cent were under 60 years of age."

Ummm, is there a mathematical point to that statement? Since when is 42% over 80 mutually exclusive with 25% under 60?

 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments


[Continue Farking]