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(BreakingNews .ie) Sad Country crooner Kenny Chesney writes song about divorcing Renee Zellweger. Titled "Goodbye, Squinty McSquintsalot," the track is racing up the country charts   (breakingnews.ie) divider line 218
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32808 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2008 at 2:09 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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Go Fast Turn Left [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 11:18:08 AM  
FTFA: "Chesney explains, "I was probably as emotionally and mentally exhausted as I'd ever been. And that was due to a lot of things - having the foot on the gas pedal constantly, and my break-up with Renee Zellweger."

Hiding your gay is apparently emotionally and mentally exausting.

 
ksparrothd [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 11:39:07 AM  
My girlfriend gets mega pissed when I tell her he's obviously gay.

 
major-kong [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 11:41:51 AM  
My theory is there wasn't room for both his johnson and all those winter nuts in her cheeks.

 
Go Fast Turn Left [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 11:46:45 AM  
ksparrothd: My girlfriend gets mega pissed when I tell her he's obviously gay.

Yours too, eh?

 
ksparrothd [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 11:54:34 AM  
Talk about the death nell if anyone in country music ever came out of the closet.

 
HulkHands [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 12:54:09 PM  
ksparrothd: My girlfriend gets mega pissed when I tell her he's obviously gay.

That's because it's harder for her to imagine a gay guy is nailing her?

 
HomoHabilis 2008-10-14 01:29:08 PM  
Goodbye, Squinty McSquintsalot

That's "Goodbye, Puffy Sweaty Coke Whore"

/Kathy Griffin

 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:06:36 PM  
Well, I've been told the lyrics to most country music involve losing one's horse, so...

 
rickythepenguin [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:11:57 PM  
img2.timeinc.net


ksparrothd: Talk about the death nell if anyone in country music ever came out of the closet.

Gimme a Break.

 
CleverGuy81 2008-10-14 02:12:19 PM  
dude, like any of us would actually toss Zellweger out of bed. "sorry, just not attractive enough. come back when you look like [insert hotter star], you ugly old cow!"

she was mad cute in "Me, Myself, and Irene."

 
idrow 2008-10-14 02:12:25 PM  
Maybe he should play his music backwards.

 
Nick Nostril 2008-10-14 02:12:25 PM  
What is incredible is that she didn't know he was teh ghey before she met him.

/Ahh. Blond.

 
Seinfreak 2008-10-14 02:12:26 PM  
...waiting for the Family Guy screenshot of Zellweger as an anteater. Don't disappoint.

 
DaScribbler 2008-10-14 02:13:09 PM  
Alternate song title : "I prefer the pole"

 
Fact Man 2008-10-14 02:13:30 PM  
FTFA:it's me and a pen and I sat down and wrote a lot of lines of this song."

Yea, just like how Britney Spears "co-wrote" her last comeback album.

Reality: "it's me and a pen and I suggested a few things to talk about and coincidentally they happened to be in my record label's prewritten album anyway."

 
theorellior 2008-10-14 02:13:58 PM  
Well, there's always Ellen Pompeo, if he likes the squinty, mush-faced types.

 
Mr Lazarus 2008-10-14 02:14:10 PM  
julieluongo.files.wordpress.com

Your loss hillbilly.

 
busy chillin' 2008-10-14 02:14:33 PM  
i33.tinypic.com

I can barely see what you did there, subby.

 
theorellior 2008-10-14 02:14:59 PM  
Fact Man: FTFA:it's me and a penis and I sat down and wrote a lot of lines of this song."

FIFKC.

 
phallus 2008-10-14 02:15:07 PM  
damnit, i thought he died at first. oh well

 
Fact Man 2008-10-14 02:15:28 PM  
bukketmaster:

Then...

Mr Lazarus:

Photoshop gives a hell of a makeover.

 
Nick Nostril 2008-10-14 02:15:39 PM  
theorellior: Well, there's always Ellen Pompeo, if he likes the squinty, mush-faced types.

She reminds me of a less-anorexic Ally McBeal.

 
KentuckyBob 2008-10-14 02:16:07 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Renee done left me,
For a mechanical bull.


/tips hat to Mr. Nispey Russell

 
theorellior 2008-10-14 02:16:11 PM  
CleverGuy81: dude, like any of us would actually toss Zellweger out of bed.

She had sharp knees.

 
theorellior 2008-10-14 02:17:03 PM  
Nick Nostril: She reminds me of a less-anorexic Ally McBeal.

Another actress I can't stop wanting to hit with a brick.

 
jmr61 2008-10-14 02:17:11 PM  
theorellior: Well, there's always Ellen Pompeo, if he likes the squinty, mush-faced types.

Yeah, not so much:

z.about.com

 
Pinner 2008-10-14 02:17:17 PM  
Joey Lauren Adams is a fellow squinter.
I'm confused.

 
Determinedly Anonymous 2008-10-14 02:17:52 PM  
ksparrothd: Talk about the death nell if anyone in country music ever came out of the closet.


It's death knell, Nellie!

 
rickythepenguin [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:18:26 PM  
Pinner: Joey Lauren Adams is a fellow squinter.
I'm confused.




I thought you said "squirter" and I was like, ???? I mean, "squirter"? That doesn't even make sense.

 
DrForrester 2008-10-14 02:19:04 PM  
This is why I hate both kinds of music.

 
fatimcgee [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:19:33 PM  
"Squinty McSquintsalot"

More like Tappy McFapalot...

 
Marisyana 2008-10-14 02:20:13 PM  
And somewhere Peyton Manning is laughing.

 
MuToiD_MaN [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:20:20 PM  
Fact Man: bukketmaster:

Then...

Mr Lazarus:

Photoshop gives a hell of a makeover.


Come on. It must have just been a "bad face day" :) Seriously though, you go out with (b) and wake up with (a) ... must have left her in the morning.

 
theorellior 2008-10-14 02:20:45 PM  
rickythepenguin: I thought you said "squirter" and I was like, ???? I mean, "squirter"? That doesn't even make sense.

Maybe you should GIS it.

 
Mr.Poops 2008-10-14 02:21:00 PM  
CleverGuy81: dude, like any of us would actually toss Zellweger out of bed. "sorry, just not attractive enough. come back when you look like [insert hotter star], you ugly old cow!"

she was mad cute in "Me, Myself, and Irene."


Yeah, and Me, Myself, & Irene was shot like 10 years ago. Some pics of her are ok (or airbrushed), but there seems to be an overwhelming amount that are just awful. If you slept with her, you might as well be sleeping with Calamity Jane from Deadwood. I've got low standards, and she's even below mine, waaay below.

 
Lou Stoolz 2008-10-14 02:21:56 PM  
She was way cute in Jerry Macguire, then not so much afterwards. She went all skinny.

 
TheyCallThisWork 2008-10-14 02:23:00 PM  
i2.photobucket.com

shamelessly stolen from someone else's photobucket

 
Goofball_Jones 2008-10-14 02:23:25 PM  
rickythepenguin:

I thought you said "squirter" and I was like, ???? I mean, "squirter"? That doesn't even make sense.


Isn't confused and knows exactly what he meant by "squirter"

img.skitch.com

/Her name is Cytheria btw...GIS if you want, but be prepared for very NSFW pictures.

 
baltimoreron 2008-10-14 02:24:06 PM  
Gay? He wishes! If he were gay there'd be no problem! No, what he has is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be
hidden from the public at all cost.

 
Pinner 2008-10-14 02:24:39 PM  
rickythepenguin: Pinner: Joey Lauren Adams is a fellow squinter.
I'm confused.



I thought you said "squirter" and I was like, ???? I mean, "squirter"? That doesn't even make sense.


You kind of have to squint when getting squirted, squire.

 
Pontus and the Nail Drivers 2008-10-14 02:25:30 PM  
CleverGuy81: dude, like any of us would actually toss Zellweger out of bed. "sorry, just not attractive enough. come back when you look like [insert hotter star], you ugly old cow!"



At this point, I wouldn't even say that to an actual cow if she had consented to my erotic attentions.

 
TheShavingofOccam123 [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:25:58 PM  
Claude Ballse:
/Wife argues with me too that he's not gay all the time.


Not gay all the time?

Is he a Republican?

 
Pontus and the Nail Drivers 2008-10-14 02:26:19 PM  
baltimoreron: Gay? He wishes! If he were gay there'd be no problem! No, what he has is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be
hidden from the public at all cost.


He's no Troy!

 
leftistcoast [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:26:31 PM  
DrForrester: This is why I hate both kinds of music.

I see what you did there...

 
picturescrazy 2008-10-14 02:28:06 PM  
Claude Ballse:
/Wife argues with me too that he's not gay all the time.


Does she argue that he's only gay once in awhile?

/My jokes get more lame each day

 
picturescrazy 2008-10-14 02:29:48 PM  
Then I can't even be the first one to make my joke.

 
Mama's Boy 2008-10-14 02:29:49 PM  
Goofball_Jones: rickythepenguin:

I thought you said "squirter" and I was like, ???? I mean, "squirter"? That doesn't even make sense.

Isn't confused and knows exactly what he meant by "squirter"



/Her name is Cytheria btw...GIS if you want, but be prepared for very NSFW pictures.



This is why I love having my iPhone. I can GIS anything I want and everyone around me is working or reading emails about Obama being a Muslim.

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-10-14 02:29:57 PM  
cm1.dotspotter.comi48.photobucket.com

So that's why he always wears the cowboy hat...

 
Hawthorne Wingnut 2008-10-14 02:30:16 PM  
TSG had the documents and the reason she divorced him was "fraud" Hmmmmmmm. Nothing about infidelity, so....

Anyway, I for one thought she looked good in Bridget Jones' Diary, especially when she was running around in her underwear in the snow. Also the movie she was in a nurses uniform. She is one of those who actually looks better with weight on her like Kate Winslet.

 
shite 2008-10-14 02:30:30 PM  
Goofball_Jones: /Her name is Cytheria btw...GIS if you want, but be prepared for very NSFW pictures.

tube8.com has some nice videos of her.

or so i hear.

 
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