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(CNN) PSA The proper way to be friends with benefits. It's not news. It's cnnbootycall.com   (cnn.com) divider line 178
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30719 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2008 at 10:08 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

178 Comments   (+0 »)


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styckx [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:09:50 PM  
Holy shiat I had to check the url to make sure this was real.



/unreal

 
alcoholwasinvolved 2008-10-11 10:11:39 PM  
I just make sure not to shoot my wad all over her hair---keeps it good

 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:11:43 PM  
The most trusted name in news.

 
Slam Bradley 2008-10-11 10:12:27 PM  
The executive summary in the corner is priceless

Story Highlights
# Negotiating a long-term, friends-with-benefits type situation can be tricky for women
# The trick is to accept what you've got and avoid trying to make it something else
# All talk of plans further into the future than an hour or two away is forbidden
# He doesn't meet your friends, you don't meet his

 
Pzo211 2008-10-11 10:13:14 PM  
I got a full five sentences through that then X'd out.

 
40oz_A_Knight 2008-10-11 10:13:39 PM  
HURF DURF DRINK 4 COSMOS FARK HALF OF NEW YORK AND MAYBE YOUR SELF ESTEEM WILL IMPROVE

 
TheShavingofOccam123 [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:14:02 PM  
Jesus.

I'm surprised she didn't include a picture of her boobs. She is so sophisticated and mature.

/penis

 
mfaby 2008-10-11 10:15:13 PM  
It's not important, it's CNN.

And these people were once viewed as the only authoratative cable
news channel.

Go figure.

 
Pzo211 2008-10-11 10:16:42 PM  
I think I'm adding all of you to my favorite Farkers list. Simply because you saw "friends with benefits' and clicked on the link. Dirtysummabiatches lol

 
panzerfaustbob 2008-10-11 10:17:03 PM  
Enter the boner-tron!
damnyankeee.com

 
zoobaby 2008-10-11 10:17:48 PM  
Pzo211: I think I'm adding all of you to my favorite Farkers list. Simply because you saw "friends with benefits' and clicked on the link. Dirtysummabiatches lol

How could you not click the link...

 
Die Kunst Der Fuge 2008-10-11 10:18:01 PM  
I'm thinking the bitterness level in this thread will be pretty high and any woman that dares to participate will receive more attention than normal. We all need the sexing.

 
zinful 2008-10-11 10:18:05 PM  
I have a friend with benefits who just left, so i'm getting a... oh.

wow that was a stupid farking article.

 
Chagrin 2008-10-11 10:18:50 PM  
Don't GIS for Judy McGuire.

 
Ace Attorney 2008-10-11 10:19:42 PM  

 
absolutben 2008-10-11 10:19:59 PM  
Dude, was this like, written by some dudette from the valley circa 1985? Dude?

Seriously, WTF CNN?

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:20:30 PM  
Pzo211: I think I'm adding all of you to my favorite Farkers list. Simply because you saw "friends with benefits' and clicked on the link. Dirtysummabiatches lol

Did so not.

40oz_A_Knight: HURF DURF DRINK 4 COSMOS FARK HALF OF NEW YORK AND MAYBE YOUR SELF ESTEEM WILL IMPROVE

Is this a recap of the Sex and the City TV show?

 
Prank Call of Cthulhu [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:20:34 PM  
There weren't nearly enough of these sorts of women running around during my formative years. I kept running into this:

img383.imageshack.us

(click here to embiggen )

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:21:11 PM  
Four steps:

Meet.
Bang.
Leave.
Repeat.

 
Misidea 2008-10-11 10:21:17 PM  
From the article:
I remember being out with a girlfriend and running into the French-Canadian model I was spending my nights with at the time. He kissed me hello as my friend's jaw dropped down three flights of stairs. Blushing, I introduced him to my buddy who was still having trouble recovering her powers of speech. As he walked away, she punched me. Hard. "Shut up!" she yelled. I just smiled.

Was there ANY point to that last paragraph other than blatantly showing what a whore the author is?

 
Pierogie 2008-10-11 10:21:17 PM  
CNN BAD!

 
nicoffeine 2008-10-11 10:22:06 PM  
Chagrin: Don't GIS for Judy McGuire.

I did :(

 
floor9 [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:22:52 PM  
Does that article honestly say that it's harder for women to find FWBs than men?

*checks*

Yep. Sure does. I see the point the author is making, but it's flawed. A single (as in by herself) woman can walk into just about any bar and go home with just about any guy in the place. A similarly single guy can not simply walk into said bar and out with just about any girl. Whether it's social conditioning or the rules of "the game", it just doesn't work out that way. It's not a sexist or threatened observation on my part; it's just the way it is.

But she does get one part right: Pronouns like us or we are to be avoided like an open sore and all talk of plans further into the future than an hour or two away is verboten. Yes, please. When my last FWB announced she wanted to come vacuum-cleaner-shopping with me at Wal-Mart just as long as "we were doing something together" I called it off. That's just creepy.

 
Sussman [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:24:04 PM  
If there's no more news, and you're a website, wouldn't you just -- oh, I don't know -- have fewer articles?

 
1. Put snakes on plane 2008-10-11 10:24:41 PM  
Slut.

 
Ooshatielf [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:25:33 PM  
this is stupid.

 
dipdunk 2008-10-11 10:27:07 PM  
Wow, now that all the world's problems are solved, we've got time to worry about clandestine farking without moral or social guilt. Glad to know the stock market is doing well, the Middle East is no longer volatile, and the the presidental election is no longer an issue!

 
MrShinra 2008-10-11 10:27:13 PM  
ATTN Single Females: I am available to be a Friend with Benefit, and I will keep it strictly business (Or is that pleasure? :D )

 
floor9 [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:27:26 PM  
Slam Bradley: The executive summary in the corner is priceless

CNN does an awesome job with their auxiliary information. I lost the URL long ago, but CNN ran a story about something in New York City. The sidebar featured a helpful map pinpointing the location of NYC on a national map, in case anyone had any questions.

 
swahnhennessy 2008-10-11 10:27:27 PM  
The pool is really shallow over at this end.

 
Evil Camel 2008-10-11 10:28:24 PM  
"I don't want relationship, all I want is BANG BANG BANG."

 
Librarians are hiding something 2008-10-11 10:28:49 PM  
FTFA:

Dudes are seemingly born knowing how to detract emotions from physical activity. In fact, with many of them, I think it's their default setting.

But women can have a harder time of it. We worry that we're being "used" (hello? Pot meet Kettle!) or feel like we're being promiscuous -- talk about a double standard!


Wow. Maybe the author actually does more for gender equality than anything else. I think anyone of any gender can agree she's a horrible, flippant writer.

/anecdotes =/= facts

 
nicoffeine 2008-10-11 10:28:49 PM  
Misidea: From the article:
I remember being out with a girlfriend and running into the French-Canadian model I was spending my nights with at the time. He kissed me hello as my friend's jaw dropped down three flights of stairs. Blushing, I introduced him to my buddy who was still having trouble recovering her powers of speech. As he walked away, she punched me. Hard. "Shut up!" she yelled. I just smiled.

Was there ANY point to that last paragraph other than blatantly showing what a whore the author is?


If you make the same mistake I did, and do a GIS, you'll find that it's an indicator of the author's vivid and vast imaginative narrative.

And, yes, it sounds like an album name, but "imaginative narritive" is the best I could come up with.

 
CowboyUpCowgirlDown 2008-10-11 10:29:53 PM  
Interesting.

Reminds of this hot Russian virgin I've been chatting with online. She wants to come visit me and become a woman. She has a fetish for 40 year old men who make lots of money. She's seen my picture and she thinks I'm sexy.

All I have to do is wire her $20,000 and Fedex a plane ticket and she will come stay with me for a month, no strings attached.

I've saved $18,000 so far: won't be long now. Wish me luck!

 
Cyborg77 2008-10-11 10:30:29 PM  
www.codinghorror.com

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to Starbucks for a handjob.

 
RobertBruce [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:31:02 PM  
like.....wow.

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:31:58 PM  
a secdondary link within the article::

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-when-blogs-cry-how-to-breakup-online/

This fills me with the urge to deficate.

 
Vangor [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:31:59 PM  
Friends with Benefits are friends...but with sex. The point is the other person cares if you enjoyed yourself, and you don't need to work towards one another, you were friends, and the moment a relationship enters the picture you continue to be friends and lose the 'with benefits'.

There, there's the actual summation, fark that article.

 
mr lawson 2008-10-11 10:32:16 PM  
styckx: Holy shiat I had to check the url to make sure this was real.



/unreal


lol...so did I
/can't stop laughing

 
18DeadMonkeys Radio 2008-10-11 10:32:30 PM  
Attention Single Ladies!

Make money from home hand over fist! Earn money using our Work From Home method based on one of the best kept secre...

/just can't bring myself to finish this ad campaign

 
floor9 [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:33:19 PM  
I want to brag that my favorite former FWB looks a lot like Louise Brooks and is very well-known here among Harrisburg nightclubs as "Ballerina Betty", but I can't think of any clever way to work it into this thread.

So I won't.

 
RobertBruce [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:34:13 PM  
wait...wait.... was that for an 8th grade audience?

 
MBA Whore 2008-10-11 10:34:38 PM  
Would anyone here be "friends with benefits" with hot news women?

/ Robin Meade
// Jennifer Westoven
/// Om Nom Nom Nom

 
frostus [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:36:03 PM  
alcoholwasinvolved: I just make sure not to shoot my wad all over her hair---keeps it good

The hair's usually not a show stopper, just don't get it in her eye.

 
geetus 2008-10-11 10:36:50 PM  
Dudes are seemingly born knowing how to detract emotions from physical activity.

Why, yes. Yes we are.

The learned part is how to add the appearance of emotion to physical activity.

 
Dead_Pool_82 2008-10-11 10:37:12 PM  
The only thing missing from the article is a link to a post on craigslist.

 
gatsome 2008-10-11 10:37:33 PM  
Your FWB doesn't want to hear about your crazy mom and you really don't want him to start yapping about his Ayn Rand fixation.

Exactly how many guys are going to have an Ayn Rand fixation. Unless I completely missed the boat on Rand entirely, I don't know. I'm 24 and consider myself fortunate to have even heard or have prior knowledge on her. Is this common?

 
floor9 [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:38:52 PM  
CowboyUpCowgirlDown: All I have to do is wire her $20,000 and Fedex a plane ticket and she will come stay with me for a month, no strings attached.

I think that might be a scam. I too was talking to an unbelievably attractive Russian woman (same age as me, no less!) who loved Starcraft and UT2k4. She didn't ask for any money to come over, but once she got to the airport, she received word that terrorists had kidnapped her family and she needed $50,000 to pay the ransom. Fortunately I was able to cash out my 401(k). I only had about $28k after taxes & fees, but fortunately the terrorists took that and let her family go. I tell ya, it's a really good thing I was talking to her, because what if some other guy WITHOUT that much money laying around had been the one she called? Anyway she got sick (from the stress, of course) and couldn't fly over, and we just kinda drifted apart. Haven't spoken to her in a few years. I guess it's all for the best, though -- if it weren't for the terrorists, I'd have flown her over here for nothing!

 
theflatline 2008-10-11 10:38:53 PM  
floor9

I agree with you, when the FWB starts cleaning your house and fixing your collar, then you either need to end it, or make it a relationship.

I don't know where this CNN writers lives or who her social circles are but I have two ladies who are friends with benefits and they handle it well. Some people are just comfortable with their sexuality and do not see any need to justify it with excuses.

1. is a 36 year old who is just super sexual by nature and twice a month I get a text to drop by her house. We have never been on a date, and I do not plan on it. We spend several hours in bed, and either I or she leaves.

2. a 26 year old girl who is a great friend, and we do pal around, drinking buddies, movies, etc. We usually get after it every other Friday after a night of boozing.

Both are very intelligent and fun to be around and the one I hang in public with does not hang on me like a cheap suit or hold my hand.

I think you can have FWB women if you are discreet.

Plus Californication works wonders with the smart ladies.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-11 10:40:35 PM  
gatsome: Your FWB doesn't want to hear about your crazy mom and you really don't want him to start yapping about his Ayn Rand fixation.

Exactly how many guys are going to have an Ayn Rand fixation. Unless I completely missed the boat on Rand entirely, I don't know. I'm 24 and consider myself fortunate to have even heard or have prior knowledge on her. Is this common?


I tape pictures of her on the back of women;s heads so I can have sex with them.

 
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