Only one way to celebrate:

Let's get pissed!

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm right on my uppers.
I can pay you back
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble's getting better.
Love, Ewan

Nice.
/One of my favorite MP skits.

Amazing when you consider copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

American Voice: Then suddenly a clue turned up in Scotland. Mr Angus Podgorny, owner of a Dunbar menswear shop, received an order for 48,000,000 'kilts from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda.

(Mix to interior of highland mens wear shop. An elderly Scottish couple are poring over a letter which they have on the counter. Oil lamps etc.)

Mrs Podgorny: Angus how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?

Angus: I'll have t'do it in two goes.

Mrs Podgorny: D'you not ken that the Galaxy of Andromeda is two million, two hundred thousand light years away?

Angus: Is that so?

Mrs Podgorny: Aye ... and you've never been further than Berwick-on-Tweed...

Angus: Aye ... but think o' the money dear ... £18.10.0d a kilt ...that's ... (calculates with abacus) £900,000,000 - and that's without sporrans!

Mrs Podgorny: Aye ... I think you ought not to go, Angus.

Angus: (with visionary look in his eyes) Aye ... we'd be able to afford writing paper with our names on it... We'd be able to buy that extension to the toilet...

Mrs Podgorny: Aye . . but he hasn't signed the order yet, has he?

Angus: Who?

Mrs Podgorny: Ach ... the man from Andromeda.

Angus: Och ... well ... he wasna really a man, d'you ken ...

(Creepy music starts to edge in.)

Mrs Podgorny: (narrowing eyes) Not really a man?

Angus: (sweating as the music rises) He was as strange a thing as ever I saw, or ever I hope to see, God willing. He was a strange unearthly creature - a quivering, glistening mass...

Mrs Podgorny: Angus Podgorny, what do y'mean?

Angus: He wasna so much a man as... a blancmange!

Mrs Podgorny: Oh, a blancmange gave you an order for 48,000,000 kilts?

Angus: Aye!

Mrs Podgorny: And you believed it?

Angus: Aye, I did.

Mrs Podgorny: Och, you're a stupid man, Angus Podgorny.

Angus: (getting a little angry) Oh look woman, how many kilts did we sell last year? Nine and a half, that's all. So when I get an order for 48,000,000, I believe it - you bet I believe it.

Mrs Podgorny: Even if it's from a blancmange?

Angus: Och, woman, if a blancmange is prepared to come 2,200,000 light years to purchase a kilt, they must be fairly keen on kilts. So cease yer prattling woman and get sewing. This could be the biggest breakthrough in kilts since the Provost of Edinburgh sat on a spike. Mary, we'll be rich! We'll be rich!

Mrs Podgorny: Oh, but Angus... he hasna given you an earnest of his good faith!

Angus: Ah mebbe not but he has gi' me this... (brings out piece of folded paper from sporran)

Mrs Podgorny: What is it now?

Angus: An entry form for the British Open Tennis Championships at Wimbledon Toon ... signed and seconded.

Mrs Podgorny: Och, but Angus:, ye ken full well that Scots folk dinna know how to play the tennis to save their lives.

Angus: Aye, but I must go though dear, I dinna want to seem ungrateful.

Mrs Podgorny: Ach! Angus, I wilna let you make a fool o'yoursel'.

Angus: But I must.

Mrs Podgorny: Och, no you'll not ...

( Close-up on Angus.)

Angus: Oh, Mary... (suddenly we hear a strange creaking and a slurping noise; a look of horror comes into his eyes) Oh, oh, Mary! Look out! Look out!

(Big close-up of Mrs Podgorny's eyes starting out from head.)

Mrs Podgorny: Urrgh. It's the blancmange.

But, Isn't that how you grow knives?

Ruby'sMamma: But, Isn't that how you grow knives?

Sorry wrong thread..

Approves.

came for the ewan mcteagle references and was NOT disappointed!

/i'm right on my uppers...

The racism and prejudice in this thread sickens me.

TheShavingofOccam123: American Voice: Then suddenly a clue turned up in Scotland. Mr Angus Podgorny, owner of a Dunbar menswear shop, received an order for 48,000,000 'kilts from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda.

(Mix to interior of highland mens wear shop. An elderly Scottish couple are poring over a letter which they have on the counter. Oil lamps etc.)

Mrs Podgorny: Angus how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?

Angus: I'll have t'do it in two goes.

Mrs Podgorny: D'you not ken that the Galaxy of Andromeda is two million, two hundred thousand light years away?

Angus: Is that so?

Mrs Podgorny: Aye ... and you've never been further than Berwick-on-Tweed...

Angus: Aye ... but think o' the money dear ... £18.10.0d a kilt ...that's ... (calculates with abacus) £900,000,000 - and that's without sporrans!

.....

anus?

Iron Chef Scottish: The racism and prejudice in this thread sickens me.



There'll nay be talking of race on the Lord's Day.

"Cheers mate!"

/hotlinked for your pleasure

Iron Chef Scottish: The racism and prejudice in this thread sickens me.

Lighten up, Francis

/is I think the correct response to your dissatisfaction

more_fool_you: Amazing when you consider copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

I like that one

Approves as well

Unavailable for comment.

Ah, yes...the best kind of attention whore.

The mysterious man who sneaks around dropping money off to those who need it the most and he probably is reading the papers in glee thinking, "They'll NEVER find out!! NEVER!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"


In other words, a great guy. I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut when I see a good deed happen. I can when it's ME doing it, but when Hubby does it, it's another story. Like last year he gussied up a new bike for Christmas (the bike was a corporate prize, but it was a sturdy piece), I asked a friend of mine whose friend worked through a charity and he basically said if it's brand new he didn't mind...bonus if it's preassembled correctly. Well, Hubby's a certified bike mechanic so he picked it out and I asked him if he could do that, why not gussy it up with all those pieces he bought but never returned, (ie, lights, pump, little velcro bags, and tires) he said, "Sure." (Hey, I'm thinking about this kid's safety, except for the helmet; I don't know how big his melon's gonna be!)

Not only did he spent a lot of time assembling and tuning this bike up, but he also ended up spending about another $50 on other doodads and whatnots, like a proper bike-lock and cable, and patch kit, etc. Granted, this wasn't much, and it WAS a prize bike, but it WAS Christmas so how many kids ask for one? He puts the finishing touches on it and we wheel it up to my friend's friend's house. Dude was blown away and said he never saw a bike ready like that before. He was grateful about how Hubby took the time and effort and everything. I don't think I've seen him turn six shades of red before.

/Sorry I drew that out so long, but this is the first time I wrote about it! I can't help being proud of him! :P

TheShavingofOccam123:

This is too obscure for me.

/hints?

bourneobscurity: TheShavingofOccam123:

This is too obscure for me.

/hints?

Chariots of Fire. Eric Liddell. The Flying Scotsman. He refused to run Olympic races on Sunday because he was a devout Christian.

You can read about him here.

TheShavingofOccam123: You can read about him here.

Sorry for cutting in, but I clicked the link, plus went in a little further. Interesting!

The guy who played him was Scottish actor Ian Charleson, who passed away in 1990 at 40. Apparently, he prepared for his role as Liddell by reading the Bible from beginning to end. Now THAT is character preparation if I've ever heard of it.

Obviously, if he gave away all his money, he must not have been Scottish.

Probably some Irishman hiding out amongst the blancmanges.

more_fool_you: Amazing when you consider copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

Being a person of Scottish ancestry, I'm stealing that joke.

TANSTAAFL

No Mr. Deeds references yet? Shame on you!

/No, I don't have one. I just like shaming people.

Juniper Jupiter: TheShavingofOccam123: You can read about him here.

Sorry for cutting in, but I clicked the link, plus went in a little further. Interesting!

The guy who played him was Scottish actor Ian Charleson, who passed away in 1990 at 40. Apparently, he prepared for his role as Liddell by reading the Bible from beginning to end. Now THAT is character preparation if I've ever heard of it.

I read up on Charleson. He died while playing Hamlet. I can't find any video of it. He was supposedly very very good at Hamlet.

TheShavingofOccam123: I read up on Charleson. He died while playing Hamlet. I can't find any video of it. He was supposedly very very good at Hamlet.

I didn't quite understand what they meant when they wrote that. Did they mean he died on stage, or he died "while in office", since apparently being Hamlet is like being president on that side of the pond?

What a great man. A real hero. I could ne'er do it!

/Scottish
//And Jewish
///The vortex of cheapness
////My dad says "verra thrifty!"

That was my idea.