These are the kind of headlines Fark needs.

Let me tell you a story. It's a true story. I was so discouraged about the sort of idiot, Harper-hating comments in a previous politics thread that I talked to Drew, kinda speaking as an active Farker and on behalf of all Canadians. I didn't figure you people would mind. I told him a story about an ordinary Canadian kid up here named Timothy Horton, who like all Canadian kids, loves three things: hockey, Fark and Stephen Harper, who he calls 'Unca Stevie." Oh, and Timmy has cancer and stuff. Remember that cancer part, it's important.

Anyway, long story short, I told Drew about how Timmie can't even log onto Fark while suffering cancer and stuff because he sees bad stuff about Stevie written by, if you'll pardon my French, farking morans, and not only was it hurting Timmie and hurting Canada, but also hurting Fark because it was being associated with this filth. I suggested the mods needed to target, with extreme prejudice, the sort of limousine lefties who think it's "cool" to rip down Unca Stevie and rip the heart out of our nation.

Anyway, Drew got all quiet and stuff - mind you, he does that after he's been drinking and it was 10 a.m. after all - and I heard a quiet sob followed by a thud. I'm sure when he came to he remembered our conversation and instructed Fark to be a friendlier place, both for Canada and kids like little Tim Horton. I can't tell, I keep getting his 'Out of office' auto-reply, even when I send him messages all in caps.

But to spell it out to those of you leftes drooling at the chance to jump in and spread your hateful bile about our leader, I urge you to think of little Tim Horton suffering from cancer and stuff during your timeout and perhaps how you can help make Fark a better and less reflexively vicious place when and if you are allowed to return. Just because you are miserable doesn't mean you have to drag Timmie and us down to your level.

On behalf of Tim - and all Canadians, even those not suffering from cancer and stuff - thank you.

"Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a Liberal."

Awesome quote subby.

/thinks Fark needs more Blade Runner

Video of Stephen Harper's speech. (new window)

/golf clap

40below--Are you having some sort of episode?

Bravo, subby, bravo.

/wonders if that kitten in his promo shots is still alive.

Timmy wants more life, Farkers.

I dunno.

I wouldn't mind finding out that he's not a self aggrandizing automoton
but a complex and interesting human being
with real emotions

but hey that's just me.

I have to live with his decisions.

/hot

40below: emo con

I knew there was a reason I had you farkied as a brainless partisan.

Listen, I don't think many Canadians hate Harper the man. But I have no qualms about hating Harper the leader. You need to learn how to separate political discussion from heartwarming stories about timbits or whatnot.

whereisian: 40below: emo con

I knew there was a reason I had you farkied as a brainless partisan.

Listen, I don't think many Canadians hate Harper the man. But I have no qualms about hating Harper the leader. You need to learn how to separate political discussion from heartwarming stories about timbits or whatnot.

Harper the man is a soulless robot. Harper the leader is the best choice.

joethorne.: Harper the man is a soulless robot. Harper the leader is the best choice.

I respectfully disagree. I point to his last to years in office as evidence.

joethorne.: Harper the man is a soulless robot. Harper the leader is the best choice.

I suppose that depends on where you live. If you live in Ontario, Harper is not the best choice, since he sees Ontario as essentially a disposable assemblage of non-Albertans.

Is 40below going on another mindless rant or is it his usual "lookat ma green light! I R awesomes!!"?

I only ask because I can't remember which one got him put on my ignore list.

Dipsomaniac: joethorne.: Harper the man is a soulless robot. Harper the leader is the best choice.

I suppose that depends on where you live. If you live in Ontario, Harper is not the best choice, since he sees Ontario as essentially a disposable assemblage of non-Albertans.

I'm from Newfoundland originally, a province whose Conservative premier is running an "Anything But Conservative" campaign in the federal election.

Who do you prefer? Dion? A well-meaning bumbler who can't even explain his platform to his own party?

Layton? A communist in socialist clothing?

May? An actual communist?

joethorne.: I'm from Newfoundland originally, a province whose Conservative premier is running an "Anything But Conservative" campaign in the federal election.

Who do you prefer? Dion? A well-meaning bumbler who can't even explain his platform to his own party?

Layton? A communist in socialist clothing?

May? An actual communist?

I'm going to assume you haven't bothered informing yourself of the parties platforms or issues. Your characterizations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off base.

Hey canadians... wanna help a brother move to your super sweet country? I like the idea of non-failings banks, good exchange rates and vast portion of the citizenry who isn't so stupid your ashamed of your country.

/ashamed of Americans.

Who? What?

Oh. That place. Terrible, terrible bacon.

Mr. Anon: Hey canadians... wanna help a brother move to your super sweet country? I like the idea of non-failings banks, good exchange rates and vast portion of the citizenry who isn't so stupid your ashamed of your country.

/ashamed of Americans.

Link (new window)

If you aren't a skilled worker, try and marry some desperate Canadian chick. I'm sure there's a Craigslist group for that.

Bacontastesgood: Who? What?

Oh. That place. Terrible, terrible bacon.

Put some syrup on it, eh.

f#ck shame


/bladerunner is the best movie ever

//isn't Tim Horton and donut shop?

Mr. Anon: Hey canadians... wanna help a brother move to your super sweet country? I like the idea of non-failings banks, good exchange rates and vast portion of the citizenry who isn't so stupid your ashamed of your country.

/ashamed of Americans.

If you're educated or skilled and don't mind paying your taxes, then sure.

Citizenship and Immigration Canada^

I don't know, this man looks like he belongs in one of those Mental Institutions.

sorry...

// isn't Tim Horton a donut shop?

Of course the Image didn't link..

Hmm... I can't decide if Subby wants us to follow that quote right to the end, or what. I mean, yes, Harper is a creepy replicant, are you saying all those moments are about to be lost in time, like tears in rain? Because it looks like he'll still get a minority, probably even with a few more seats, so... not so much "time to die".

FTFA: Canadians want a prime minister who keeps a cool head during a crisis, not a leader who "emotes"

That's a fair attempt to spin away Harper's inability to connect to Canadians, but it's so completely untrue that it borders on ridiculous. Canadians adore a leader who emotes. Harper - didn't you once work for Ralph Klein?

anelson41: sorry...

// isn't Tim Horton a donut shop?



/yep

Mr. Anon: Hey canadians... wanna help a brother move to your super sweet country? I like the idea of non-failings banks, good exchange rates and vast portion of the citizenry who isn't so stupid your ashamed of your country.

/ashamed of Americans.
*********
then move ya farkin' commie!!!! and take that Baldwin with ya!

/semi-hitting on a Vancouver chick via e-mail in case things get too dicey in the lower 48

40below I must have missed that thread. I thought I was the worst Angry Canadian on here and I haven't been banned.

whereisian: joethorne.: I'm from Newfoundland originally, a province whose Conservative premier is running an "Anything But Conservative" campaign in the federal election.

Who do you prefer? Dion? A well-meaning bumbler who can't even explain his platform to his own party?

Layton? A communist in socialist clothing?

May? An actual communist?

I'm going to assume you haven't bothered informing yourself of the parties platforms or issues. Your characterizations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off base.

In my defence, I'm drunk.

Can someone help me out? What's the headline referring to?

joethorne.: In my defence, I'm drunk.

5 weeks drunk? You Newfies have stamina.

/anyone who is considering voting Cons, look at the Green platform, it has many similarities to older PC platforms
//voting Paul Dewar, he has a fiscal conscience

RoyBatty: Can someone help me out? What's the headline referring to?

OMG, it's like only the most famous Star Wars quote ever.

bobbette: OMG, it's like only the most famous Star Wars quote ever.

Don't be stupid. It Star Trek. Spock said it when he killed Janeway.

40below: On behalf of Tim - and all Canadians, even those not suffering from cancer and stuff - thank you.

The crazy is strong with this one.

40below's insane now? When did this happen?

whereisian: bobbette: OMG, it's like only the most famous Star Wars quote ever.

Don't be stupid. It Star Trek. Spock said it when he killed Janeway.

fap

Subby wins.


/awesome movie
//Director's cut ftw

Bren_34: Of course the Image didn't link..

That kitten has a Don Cherry-like scowl.

He's always been insane.

RoyBatty: Can someone help me out? What's the headline referring to?

Ah good, you're already here. I was going to page you otherwise.

RoyBatty, were you too busy staring at Pris and you forgot your own lines?

log_jammin: Is 40below going on another mindless rant or is it his usual "lookat ma green light! I R awesomes!!"?

I only ask because I can't remember which one got him put on my ignore list.

oh good so im not the only one who isnt gonna blow him for being able to avoid daylight.

/restores some faith in farkers
//this election season has seen my ignore list grow 30 fold

40below: These are the kind of headlines Fark needs.

Let me tell you a story. It's a true story. I was so discouraged about the sort of idiot, Harper-hating comments in a previous politics thread that I talked to Drew, kinda speaking as an active Farker and on behalf of all Canadians. I didn't figure you people would mind. I told him a story about an ordinary Canadian kid up here named Timothy Horton, who like all Canadian kids, loves three things: hockey, Fark and Stephen Harper, who he calls 'Unca Stevie." Oh, and Timmy has cancer and stuff. Remember that cancer part, it's important.

Anyway, long story short, I told Drew about how Timmie can't even log onto Fark while suffering cancer and stuff because he sees bad stuff about Stevie written by, if you'll pardon my French, farking morans, and not only was it hurting Timmie and hurting Canada, but also hurting Fark because it was being associated with this filth. I suggested the mods needed to target, with extreme prejudice, the sort of limousine lefties who think it's "cool" to rip down Unca Stevie and rip the heart out of our nation.

Anyway, Drew got all quiet and stuff - mind you, he does that after he's been drinking and it was 10 a.m. after all - and I heard a quiet sob followed by a thud. I'm sure when he came to he remembered our conversation and instructed Fark to be a friendlier place, both for Canada and kids like little Tim Horton. I can't tell, I keep getting his 'Out of office' auto-reply, even when I send him messages all in caps.

But to spell it out to those of you leftes drooling at the chance to jump in and spread your hateful bile about our leader, I urge you to think of little Tim Horton suffering from cancer and stuff during your timeout and perhaps how you can help make Fark a better and less reflexively vicious place when and if you are allowed to return. Just because you are miserable doesn't mean you have to drag Timmie and us down to your level.

On behalf of Tim - and all Canadians, even those not suffering from cancer and stuff - thank you.

That is incredible. When I saw Timothy Horton I started laughing my ass off. I love you.

Do Farkers seriously not get the joke, or are they playing along? I can't believe they'd be so disrespectful to Prime Minister Jean Poutine either way.

FootInMouthDisease

He's like the naskar in a parka

We really need to kick Stevie's butt in this election.

Hes Bush's friend, he has used Bush and republican tactics. Who has heard of any plan coming out of Harper's side in this election, all they do is attack adds and attack adds, just like the republicahs.

Heuu America, can we borrow Obama for a while? We need to kick our Bushie up here too... please?

40below: TLDR

You lost me when I remembered that Canadians buy their milk in bags.

/am I missing something?

Bren_34: Of course the Image didn't link..

How about this one?


/hotlinked
//both send shivers down my spine