My worst nightmare would be to turn into Madonna

I know someone who will never open for Madonna again.

That dried up old coont obviously thinks she still matters.

Who would be able to hold a conversation with Madonna anyway, the sound of her bones creaking would easily drown out the voices.

These (new window) guys tried to open for her but were turned down. NSFW lyrics

submitter: Swedish pop star ... ..... ...... ..... .... ... ...... ... ....... .. ......: "..... .. ........ ......., ... .. ..... .. ....... ..., ..... ..., .. pictures"

That's all I could read from the headline.

If I looked like Madonna does, I wouldn't let anyone take pictures of me either.

It's not like you can photograph a vampire anyway...

Who cares? She got to open for Madonna. Her publicity has exploded because of that. Don't bite the hand that feed you.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Bork BORK BORK BORK!

In other words, she's Frank from Blue Velvet

Flab: submitter: Swedish pop star ... ..... ...... ..... .... ... ...... ... ....... .. ......: "..... .. ........ ......., ... .. ..... .. ....... ..., ..... ..., .. pictures"

That's all I could read from the headline.

Be careful what you wish for:

länken är varmt

once again, I'd like to thank the gay community for foisting this harridan on us until the end of time

I just can't get enough of her veiny arms or 'roided up crotch being thrust into cameras

No fan of Madonna, she just a damn slut
So sit you damn dog and bow to my shiat
Nitwit you stupid, I'm butter don't need grits
Make fits like seizure, lick clit to please ya
I book then read ya, follow the leader
Like Jews n' Chinese, I own your rap lease
The wackness must cease, prepare for yo' release

Konichiwa biatch indeed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O_aa0QSZ1A

As Robyn once said to Simon Amstell: "You should be nice to me because my boyfriend's a cage fighter."

ChemicalRummy: Be careful what you wish for:

I used to tie a bandana like that on my dog.

If there weren't any rules against poisoning her, she should have done that.

FVendetta: As Robyn once said to Simon Amstell: "You should be nice to me because my boyfriend's a cage fighter."

That was hilarious. Not that her boyfriend's a cage fighter, but the fun they made of her after that for saying it.

Surprised you're allowed to look at her...like you'd want to?

Sorry, Madge! Nobody cares anymore. Maybe 20 years ago, but not now. You should be nice to people on your way up the ladder cuz you never know who you're gotta meet on the way down.

What a vile, talentless, irrelevant POS this woman is.

John Buck 41: What a vile, talentless, irrelevant POS this woman is.

What he said.

em etib: FVendetta: As Robyn once said to Simon Amstell: "You should be nice to me because my boyfriend's a cage fighter."

That was hilarious. Not that her boyfriend's a cage fighter, but the fun they made of her after that for saying it.

"Where are my barrrrrrrrrrs?!"

ChemicalRummy: Flab: submitter: Swedish pop star ... ..... ...... ..... .... ... ...... ... ....... .. ......: "..... .. ........ ......., ... .. ..... .. ....... ..., ..... ..., .. pictures"

That's all I could read from the headline.

Be careful what you wish for:

länken är varmt

Did Flock of Seagulls and Dexey's Midnight Runners have a baby? Nice look, honey!

Some Swedish pop stars are superheros.



And any of them could kick Madonna's ass.

FuzzyNoNoseChimp: Who cares? She got to open for Madonna. Her publicity has exploded because of that. Don't bite the hand that feed you.

Actually, her publicity exploded when she bit the hand, not from opening for Madonna. I don't remember a fark link announcing that this Swedish pop star was given the gig.

If she's stayed quiet about the asinine rules & restrictions, the explosion of publicity would have been minimal at best.

Aging skank whore. I happened to wander into Times Square the night of the premiere of "Who's That Girl?" Z100 was doing a big premiere party. The entire area was packed, like someone who mattered was going to show up. I hung around in case Griffin Dunne wandered by and I could ask him, "So how's your sister?" - and then act surprised.

Madonna finally arrived (late) and stood on some platform and everyone screamed while she babbled PR drivel for the movie. Then she went into the theater and I went home. Two days later I read an article that said that the second night the movie played there were like 3 people at the 8PM show. Total US gross was about 7 million. Why does this biatch matter at all?

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Madonna.

Caution: Madonna may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Madonna contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Madonna on concrete.

Discontinue use of Madonnaif any of the following occurs:

* Itching

* Vertigo

* Dizziness

* Tingling in extremities

* Loss of balance or coordination

* Slurred speech

* Temporary blindness

* Profuse Sweating

or

* Heart palpitations

If Madonna begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

Madonna may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Madonnashould be returned to its special containerand kept under refrigeration.

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Madonna, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Madonna include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Madonna has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Madonna.

Madonna comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Madonna! Accept no substitutes!

HKWolf: ChemicalRummy: Flab: submitter: Swedish pop star ... ..... ...... ..... .... ... ...... ... ....... .. ......: "..... .. ........ ......., ... .. ..... .. ....... ..., ..... ..., .. pictures"

That's all I could read from the headline.

Be careful what you wish for:

länken är varmt

Did Flock of Seagulls and Dexey's Midnight Runners have a baby? Nice look, honey!

Hah! Emo with the opposite colour palette.

Damn. Came here to make a happy funball reference and two people beat me to it.

Let's see how I do on these rules:

1. Do not approach Madonna check
2. Do not speak to Madonna check
3. Above all, no photographs of Madonna check

I followed the rules. Now pay me!

ChemicalRummy: Flab: submitter: Swedish pop star ... ..... ...... ..... .... ... ...... ... ....... .. ......: "..... .. ........ ......., ... .. ..... .. ....... ..., ..... ..., .. pictures"

That's all I could read from the headline.

Be careful what you wish for:

länken är varmt

There's something strange about that guy, but I can't quite put my finger on it explain what it is.

Bermuda59: Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Madonna.

Caution: Madonna may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Madonna contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Madonna on concrete.

Discontinue use of Madonnaif any of the following occurs:

* Itching

* Vertigo

* Dizziness

* Tingling in extremities

* Loss of balance or coordination

* Slurred speech

* Temporary blindness

* Profuse Sweating

or

* Heart palpitations

If Madonna begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

Madonna may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Madonnashould be returned to its special containerand kept under refrigeration.

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Madonna, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Madonna include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Madonna has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Madonna.

Madonna comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Madonna! Accept no substitutes!

I just bought Jack Handey's book "What I'd Say to the Martians." In the back it has the transcript to that sketch. I was reading it to my wife last night, it's one of our favors.

Fark always seems to mirror my life like that.

Robyn was the best show at Roskilde Festival this year.

//Robotboy FTW
///Konichiwa biatches!

I wouldn't Fawke that with your Guy.

Robyn > Madonna

vonster: I wouldn't Fawke that with your Guy.

Nice one!

borderline, last good madonna song when she was normal

nowadays, not on the radar

wichitaleaf: borderline, last good madonna song when she was normal

nowadays, not on the radar

? That was her very first album, like 25 years ago...

Hey Sweden trifecta complete....

A guy I used to work with interned for Maverick in college. He told me there's this *huge* protocol that all employees/interns had to know for dealing with Madonna. Like no eye contact, etc. Jesus.

Rev. Skarekroe: Some Swedish pop stars are superheros.



And any of them could kick Madonna's ass.

And Benny and Bjorn wondered why they were gay icons!

/That IS an awesome picture, BTW!

In other news.....a warning would have been nice about that pigdog Debra Messing being front and center when opening TFA......

/fark Madonna....she was never good looking and her music has always sucked

chevydeuce: she was never good looking

Unless you count her playboy spread and put something on top of her face.

She really defines the opposite of "aging well", the whole having grace with age thing... etc.

oh darn, no pictures with Madonna? darn, because I want everyone to know how much I love her...

</sarcasm>

/had a hard time keeping a straight face...

Must be nice the only problem you need to worry about is people talking with you and taking a few pictures.

If I had Madonna's money I'd retire.

But I guess she needs the gratification of the applause.

Who is this "Madonna" of whom you speak?

Ya know what really grinds my gears? This Madonna chick. I mean, what's the deal? Are we supposed to be shocked by you? Still? Or turned on? Really? I mean, you look all shrivled up. Like some giant bug bit you and sucked out all the juices. Your just gross.
Just go away. For the love of God, Just. Go. Away.


/must be read in Peter Griffin voice

FuzzyNoNoseChimp: Who cares? She got to open for Madonna. Her publicity has exploded because of that. Don't bite the hand that feed you.

Actually, she was pretty popular back in the 90's. People already know Robyn, it's not like Madonna had much to do with that.

I like that the Brits call her "Madge". It fits.