Wow. It's too bad they couldn't fit a list of 25 things on one web page. Maybe someone should buy them the thin-lined kind instead of the wide-ruled.

Look at those tits on Iggy Pop

They want me to click through 24 other pages?

*close*

Larger bread.

TwistedIvory: They want me to click through 24 other pages?

*close*

I clicked through 25 pages.

*far away*

And that's a dirty rotten trick by submitter to try to get us to click 20 times.

jaylectricity: And that's a dirty rotten trick by submitter to try to get us to click 20 times.

Sorry, Jay. I was just happy to see Metallica man up on the bacon front.

/Submitter

TeddyBallGame: I was just happy to see Metallica man up on the bacon

That makes for slimy bacon.

On the Fear of the Dark tour, Iron Maiden had an entire table with nothing but Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets, and beer.

Can Fark just ban slideshows like it bans sites that require registration?

BKITU: TeddyBallGame: I was just happy to see Metallica man up on the bacon

That makes for slimy bacon.

Like the white part of a poached egg.

TeddyBallGame: Sorry, Jay.

Insta-forgiveness.

Rock stars demanding bacon? Wow, those guys are extreme.

Pop in 'And Justice for All' thats what I do when I lose faith.

Mugato: Rock stars demanding bacon? Wow, those guys are extreme.

The issue is that they demanded the reanimated corpse of Francis Bacon strewn about the facilities and present at all food stations. That's pretty hardcore, if you ask me.

Reminds me of my senior year in college when I worked for the radio station and wanted to bring in Virginia Coalition for our big end of the year college band concert. We were so stoked.

Plan was nixed by the activities board who wanted us to bring in goddamn Blessid Union of Souls instead (remember "I Believe", their meandering zombie song from the 90's?). Their rider? Variety packs of tea from Costco. We hated them so much.

TeddyBallGame: jaylectricity: And that's a dirty rotten trick by submitter to try to get us to click 20 times.

Sorry, Jay. I was just happy to see Metallica man up on the bacon front.

/Submitter

Click-through slideshow?! Bullshiat! The only way you can make it up to us is by posting the whole list.

I really really really hate that kind of list format. All I know is that Guns 'N Roses like porn. Bye.

damn was hoping someone clicked through all those to summarize, because i'm not going to.

whats fish ice?

filth: Click-through slideshow?! Bullshiat! The only way you can make it up to us is by posting the whole list.

That would imply that I care if you view the site or not. I don't. I will say that #5 has Metallica demanding that bacon be available at ever single meal.

"MASSAGE: A female; Must have a relaxing/deep muscle massage in a hippy style!!! Must be ready to DO Peter at 6:20pm for 1 hour."
--Peter Gabriel

I'm sure he'll be Counting out Time and hoping not to get unexpected distress from his mistress.

Page 5 of fail

Here is a direct link to avoid all of the crap.

"Assortment of adult magazines (i.e. Penthouse, Playboy, etc.)"
--Guns N' Roses

"Candles Diptyque - Tuberose, Figure, Heliotrope"
--Jennifer Lopez

"DAVE LOVES STINKY CHEESE"
--Foo Fighters

"One Wig Room"
--Cher

"MASSAGE: A female; Must have a relaxing/deep muscle massage in a hippy style!!! Must be ready to DO Peter at 6:20pm for 1 hour."
--Peter Gabriel

"Two (2) Packs Zig Zag rolling papers (orange packaging)"
--Jane's Addiction

"One (1) Station wagon to meet Artist at point of arrival and departure"
--Dionne Warwick

"We require two (2) smartly dressed, well groomed hostesses"
--The Rolling Stones

"NO ONIONS!! THEY STINK!!"
--Michael Bolton

"Ms. Franklin's suite plus accommodations for security personnel, shall not be located above the 5th floor."
--Aretha Franklin

"NO ANIMALS ARE ALLOWED IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA AT ANYTIME ... (IF THERE IS ... ALABAMA WILL NOT PERFORM.)"
--Alabama

"One (1) small bottle of Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil
24 long stem roses (TOTALLY DETHORNED) (sic)"
--LL Cool J

"BIC type large lighters (preferably without child guards) NOT GREEN!"
--The Beach Boys

"Two (2) Boxes of Corn Starch (VERY IMPORTANT!)"
--Nine Inch Nails

"THERE IS TO BE NO BEEF ... IN THE VICINITY OF 50 CENT'S DRESSING OR CATERING ROOMS." --50 Cent

"All Willie Nelson engagements must be 'Smoke Free.'"
--Willie Nelson

"This truly is very, very serious. No nuts. No mushrooms. No coffee. No mint. No chocolate. No shellfish." --Clay Aiken

"No trees please! We want plants that are just as full on the bottom as the top such as bamboo, peace lilies, etc. No tree trunks!" --Paul McCartney

"CRACK OIL MACHINE"
--Boy George

"Dressing Room #1: One pack of magnum condoms

Dressing Room #2: One pack of men's white athletic socks (at least two pair)"
--Gnarls Barkley

"BACON VERY IMPORTANT THAT BACON BE AVAILABLE AT EVERY MEAL AND DURING DAY" --Metallica

"NO FISH ICE! If it had never happened, I wouldn't have to write this"
--Janet Jackson

"Artist furthermore retains the right to distribute souvenir books (not programs) to the public free of charge. This book is the summary of Richard's moral belief." --Little Richard

"All items in dressing room must be covered by clear plastic wrap until uncovered by main artist. This is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY." --Prince

"No toy robots, television evangelists ... No plastic seahorses, no bailiwicks, crepescules (sic) or kooks." --Iggy Pop

Grrr... I hate click-through slide shows that are only there to increase clicks and ad revenue...

I'm not viewing this one. These things seriously piss me off...

"Hey let's put information that could easily fit onto one or two pages and make it into 25!"

It really seems to me like it's MORE work to do it that way than not.

Solid State Vittles: I really really really hate that kind of list format. All I know is that Guns 'N Roses like porn. Bye.

...which seems really farking weird when they have legions of barely legal and not so legal tail throwing themselves at them back stage. They were probably just farking with the poor bastards who have to go out and find the stuff.

MindlessStonedIndulgence: "All Willie Nelson engagements must be 'Smoke Free.'"
--Willie Nelson

Wait, what?

ok list, but there is a day's worth of reading (and at times laughing) at the smoking gun site Link (new window)

Uzzah

That is farking awesome.

Gin and 7-up????

We had Slash come into our radio station for an interview once - 2 songs to go before the interview and he says "I'm not going on unless I get a beer." No problem, there's gotta be beer around a radio station, right? WRONG. No a beer in the house. We freaked out, our creative writers hopped in a car, peeled out for a two-four and got back with 30 seconds to spare.

We now have an unwritten rule that 2 beers are to be kept in the fridge at all times, only to be drunk upon penalty of death.

/yes, they get replaced from time to time.
//he broke bylaw and smoked in master control too, so everyone lit up. best. day. EVAR.

I knew professional musicians were prima donnas, but Jesus...

Inigo_Montoya: Gin and 7-up????

Add a splash of gatorade (whatever flavor you like) and you have one hell of a drink.

PenguinTheRed: I knew professional musicians were prima donnas, but Jesus...

J-Lo demanding $50/per chocolate truffles at a charity show? F*ck that big-booty-ho... right in her sweet can.

Uzzah, great find; LOL.



Proposal: We pretend we're on TFD and compile our own "dream rider" for when we never make it big. We can definitely do better than these musicians.

"Ms. Franklin's suite plus accommodations for security personnel, shall not be located above the 5th floor."

...because the rest of the building would collapse beneath her.

ok actually the orange zig zags are referring to 1.25

Aretha's request of not being above the 5th floor is humorous. Heck, show me a SECOND floor any place that wouldn't buckle under her weight.

Is it just me or does anyone else find it funny that Clay Aiken asked for no nuts?

There is no justification for demanding to have the brown M and Ms removed. It's asshattery pure and simple.

Jean-Puc_Licard: There is no justification for demanding to have the brown M and Ms removed. It's asshattery pure and simple.

Usually when bands pulled shiat like this it was because they knew that if they arrived at the gig, and there was a jar full of m and m's (minus the brown ones), then they prety much KNEW that all of the other shiat on their rider was taken care of perfectly.

Douchebaggery asshat diva-esque power trippin' behavior? Absolutely.

But when you're Van farking Halen, you're selling out arenas, and some production assistant forgets a bottle of Jack Daniels, drastic measures need to be taken.

/musician who has also managed venues, so I've been on BOTH sides of rider fark-ups.
//Hey Ron...you still owe us a bottle of whiskey from last weeks set!

I spel prety gud to.

Uzzah: That was pretty awesome. Although if I were them I would be a little more careful in the phrasing. Back when I booked bands, if I saw that they required a "bathroom or three piss jars" I would have been tempted to just drop a few mason jars in the dressing room. Just to be a prick. "Hey, you guys said..."

jaylectricity: And that's a dirty rotten trick by submitter to try to get us to click 20 times.

Or you could look at the webpage address in the browser and just replace "25" with "5" to skip right to it.

"Two (2) Packs Zig Zag rolling papers (orange packaging)"
--Jane's Addiction
Not to be confused with the Zig Zag rolling papers with the white, red or blue packaging.

Yes, actually.





Alas for Jane's Addiction, specifying the color orange doesn't guarantee you'll get what you want:

Iggy's rider is worth reading all on its own.

Ant: I'm sure he'll be Counting out Time and hoping not to get unexpected distress from his mistress.

Considering that one of Peter's masseuses from back in the day was Catherine Bell (yes, that Catherine Bell from JAG and...off to your bunk, are you? There's a good lad), I'd say that was a mighty smart rider he put in there.

/take it away mr. guitar
//(very silly steve hackett solo goes here)

That Mojo Nixon rider is the best I have ever seen. Hell yeah.

StuckInTO: Uzzah: That was pretty awesome. Although if I were them I would be a little more careful in the phrasing. Back when I booked bands, if I saw that they required a "bathroom or three piss jars" I would have been tempted to just drop a few mason jars in the dressing room. Just to be a prick. "Hey, you guys said..."

What dude on this planet has a problem with pissing in a jar?

Besides Clay Aiken since he has to squat.