Only $1.6 million. Still, that's a lot of $50 ballpoint pens.

What the hell was he planning to do with it all? I would have thought sell it on eBay for 100% profit, but it sounds like all he did was fill his house and neighbors homes with it.

You forgot a decimal there subby.

US Navy? It was all Air Force DRMO anyway. Probably couldn't sell it on eBay. Who wants a 20MB RLL hard drive?

Better than pissing on her.

He's the type to shop at Cosco...weekly.

Mugato: Better than pissing on her.

Prude.

Didn't this happen in The Lockhorns once? Or am I thinking of Andy Capp?

I think he was reading this...

Shouldn't have accused his wife of typing all that stupid crap on FARK.

He got weed, he got weed! Kick his mother farking ass!

I miss those military pens....you could make a little gun out of them.

Mugato: Better than pissing on her.

No it isn't.

recently busted for jacking over 20,000 pieces of gear worth $1.6 million-from ink cartridges to hard drives to software-over the course of 10 years.


$1.6 mil? That's about 5 copies of Microsoft Office right there, he's lucky he didn't take the premium version.

I wonder what it was *actually* worth. I'm sure they threw out a gaudy number just to look impressive. Not to mention they probably value US Navy software with the site license.

Jeez, I remember when just $6 million was all you needed to rebuild a guy and make him stronger, faster, and he would also really spiffy in a leisure suite.

beoswulf: $1.6 mil? That's about 5 copies of Microsoft Office right there, he's lucky he didn't take the premium version.

What happened to the good ole' days when you could get 5 toilet seats and a hammer for that kind of money?

C'mon, subby.

Step 1: RTFA
Step 2: Create entertaining headline
Step 3: Preview before post
Step 4: Greenlight?

Step 3 is crucial.

Step 1: Steal stuff from work
Step 2: Hide stuff.
Step 3: ?

"Maybe he was planning to sell the gear to avoid bouncing the checks his ego was writing?"

Funniest non-Fark comment I have read in a while. I lol'ed.

So does subby still get credit with such an egregious error?

WTF?! He stole 1.6 Mill and didn't USE any of it? Kept stealing after his house was FULL? This guy's gotta be a klepto, for real...

And last, but not least, don't ride with a mad woman!

NSFW language

Not available for comment

texastag: And last, but not least, don't ride with a mad woman!

NSFW language

THIS.
/Not what I would have thought of, but I love that skit

It's his first day.

Never piss off your wife if you've stolen 16 million dollars worth of equipment from the US Navy

/ftfy

Finally, a small town, local type story I can relate to.

PerfectStorm: C'mon, subby.

Step 1: RTFA
Step 2: Create entertaining headline
Step 3: Preview before post
Step 4: Greenlight?

Step 3 is crucial.

Apparently not.

HE GOT WEED!!! HE GOT WEED!!!

daveb0rg: I miss those military pens....you could make a little gun out of them.

YES!! We civilians still get them from time to time, but that's slowly being eroded by the new crappy government pens and some office managers buying stuff at OfficeMax with their shiny new purchase cards.

The old-school "made by the blind to make you blind" clicky-pens are still the best, though. I have a stash in my desk, but they're probably only worth about $1.60, not $1.6 million :-)

A lot of people don't know how to use decimal points.

I think it's something you have to be taught.

Joker you diabolical...: It's his first day.


love your Simpsons reference. By far on of the best episodes.

/ sparkle sparkle

adeist69: Step 1: Steal stuff from work
Step 2: Hide stuff.
Step 3: ? Rule world!

FTFY

I'm pretty sure that was his plan from the start, he most likely had his plan stuck to the fridge in case he forgot what it was too.

shiat. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail.

cambie: What the hell was he planning to do with it all? I would have thought sell it on eBay for 100% profit, but it sounds like all he did was fill his house and neighbors homes with it.

That's pretty much the definition of kleptomania. Especially if you're facing federal felony charges if ever you get caught.

haemaker: US Navy? It was all Air Force DRMO anyway. Probably couldn't sell it on eBay. Who wants a 20MB RLL hard drive?

Well...in the last 18 mos, I've gotten from the new DRMO, www.govliquidation.com, 2 flatscreen monitors (21 & 20" Planar), 3 Sony vidcams, an Olympus camera, a Mitsu 35" CRT monitor.

All work, total ~$350.

Used to work for a CWO. Every time I went to the Supply dept for stuff he would come along. It was sort of one for the division and one for him.

We used to kid that if you went to his house and played the Star Spangled Banner, half the stuff in there would stand up and salute.

Barakku:
WTF?! He stole 1.6 Mill and didn't USE any of it? Kept stealing after his house was FULL? This guy's gotta be a klepto, for real...

And probably a hoarder to boot. If he didn't work for the government he'd probably be buying thousand of things off eBay and stacking them in his house.

Stealin an Aircraft Carrier...

One piece at a time.

Idiot. If you are going to steal, steal what you actually can use yourself, or sell. Filling up your own house is bad enough, but he stored the stuff in neighbors' houses too? If his neighbors were anything like MY neighbors, anything of his that he stored there would quickly become their stuff.

Ebay sellers' fees slowed down his business.

Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox

Is that Ron Paul?


/Ron Paul

No Such Agency:
And probably a hoarder to boot. If he didn't work for the government he'd probably be buying thousand of things off eBay and stacking them in his house.

Holy crap! I used to live with one of those. I think he was afraid of unused space, or something.

It was funny when I had surgery in the tender man-bits region. Couldn't lift my legs for a week. This made the obstacle course to the bathroom difficult. Couldn't lift my legs but I could kick pretty good...

I used to mow grass for this (huge, slutty, German) lady who was married to an army colonel, or some such higher up. She stopped by her house one day to get something and walked in on him dressed in maid lingerie giving another man some sort of show. Needless to say, she got whatever she wanted out of the divorce deal and continues to blackmail him for various crap a decade later.

My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.

olddinosaur: My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.

He must have a real purty mouth.

olddinosaur: My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.

Aren't military defense counsel required to have a law degree?

They might be required to have a law degree now, but this was 1961.