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(Gizmodo) Dumbass Never piss off your wife if you've stolen 16 million dollars worth of equipment from the US Navy   (gizmodo.com) divider line 86
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86 Comments   (+0 »)


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Pope George Ringo [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 04:02:49 PM  
Only $1.6 million. Still, that's a lot of $50 ballpoint pens.

 
cambie [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 04:47:29 PM  
What the hell was he planning to do with it all? I would have thought sell it on eBay for 100% profit, but it sounds like all he did was fill his house and neighbors homes with it.

 
TwistedIvory [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 04:49:30 PM  
You forgot a decimal there subby.

 
haemaker [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 04:58:17 PM  
US Navy? It was all Air Force DRMO anyway. Probably couldn't sell it on eBay. Who wants a 20MB RLL hard drive?

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 05:06:30 PM  
Better than pissing on her.

 
Darth_Lukecash [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 05:06:31 PM  
He's the type to shop at Cosco...weekly.

 
strangeguitar 2008-10-05 05:09:29 PM  
Mugato: Better than pissing on her.

Prude.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 05:49:33 PM  
Didn't this happen in The Lockhorns once? Or am I thinking of Andy Capp?

 
dustman81 [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 05:59:29 PM  
I think he was reading this...
img223.imageshack.us

 
Banky_The_Hack 2008-10-05 06:40:43 PM  
Shouldn't have accused his wife of typing all that stupid crap on FARK.

 
Dogberry [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 07:14:59 PM  
He got weed, he got weed! Kick his mother farking ass!

 
daveb0rg 2008-10-05 08:29:14 PM  
I miss those military pens....you could make a little gun out of them.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:29:30 PM  
Mugato: Better than pissing on her.

No it isn't.

 
beoswulf 2008-10-05 08:29:36 PM  
recently busted for jacking over 20,000 pieces of gear worth $1.6 million-from ink cartridges to hard drives to software-over the course of 10 years.


$1.6 mil? That's about 5 copies of Microsoft Office right there, he's lucky he didn't take the premium version.

 
poisonpill 2008-10-05 08:30:10 PM  
I wonder what it was *actually* worth. I'm sure they threw out a gaudy number just to look impressive. Not to mention they probably value US Navy software with the site license.

 
sofa_King_2006 2008-10-05 08:32:39 PM  
Jeez, I remember when just $6 million was all you needed to rebuild a guy and make him stronger, faster, and he would also really spiffy in a leisure suite.

 
eff ewe 2008-10-05 08:32:54 PM  
beoswulf: $1.6 mil? That's about 5 copies of Microsoft Office right there, he's lucky he didn't take the premium version.

What happened to the good ole' days when you could get 5 toilet seats and a hammer for that kind of money?

 
PerfectStorm 2008-10-05 08:33:32 PM  
C'mon, subby.

Step 1: RTFA
Step 2: Create entertaining headline
Step 3: Preview before post
Step 4: Greenlight?

Step 3 is crucial.

 
adeist69 2008-10-05 08:35:59 PM  
Step 1: Steal stuff from work
Step 2: Hide stuff.
Step 3: ?

 
Miracle Whip 2008-10-05 08:36:35 PM  
"Maybe he was planning to sell the gear to avoid bouncing the checks his ego was writing?"

Funniest non-Fark comment I have read in a while. I lol'ed.

 
Thresher 2008-10-05 08:39:36 PM  
So does subby still get credit with such an egregious error?

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:40:18 PM  
WTF?! He stole 1.6 Mill and didn't USE any of it? Kept stealing after his house was FULL? This guy's gotta be a klepto, for real...

 
texastag 2008-10-05 08:40:40 PM  
And last, but not least, don't ride with a mad woman!

NSFW language

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:44:51 PM  
www.mortystv.com

Not available for comment

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:45:15 PM  
texastag: And last, but not least, don't ride with a mad woman!

NSFW language


THIS.
/Not what I would have thought of, but I love that skit

 
Joker you diabolical... 2008-10-05 08:47:12 PM  
It's his first day.

 
MrBrightside 2008-10-05 08:55:29 PM  
Never piss off your wife if you've stolen 16 million dollars worth of equipment from the US Navy

/ftfy

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:58:38 PM  
Finally, a small town, local type story I can relate to.

 
NightOwl2255 2008-10-05 08:58:43 PM  
PerfectStorm: C'mon, subby.

Step 1: RTFA
Step 2: Create entertaining headline
Step 3: Preview before post
Step 4: Greenlight?

Step 3 is crucial.


Apparently not.

 
consciousNOT [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 08:58:46 PM  
HE GOT WEED!!! HE GOT WEED!!!

 
saeufer82 2008-10-05 09:03:16 PM  
daveb0rg: I miss those military pens....you could make a little gun out of them.

YES!! We civilians still get them from time to time, but that's slowly being eroded by the new crappy government pens and some office managers buying stuff at OfficeMax with their shiny new purchase cards.

The old-school "made by the blind to make you blind" clicky-pens are still the best, though. I have a stash in my desk, but they're probably only worth about $1.60, not $1.6 million :-)

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 09:03:22 PM  
A lot of people don't know how to use decimal points.

I think it's something you have to be taught.

 
JessieBoBessy 2008-10-05 09:06:01 PM  
Joker you diabolical...: It's his first day.


love your Simpsons reference. By far on of the best episodes.

/ sparkle sparkle

 
Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox 2008-10-05 09:07:11 PM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

 
Supplenuts 2008-10-05 09:07:36 PM  
adeist69: Step 1: Steal stuff from work
Step 2: Hide stuff.
Step 3: ? Rule world!


FTFY

I'm pretty sure that was his plan from the start, he most likely had his plan stuck to the fridge in case he forgot what it was too.

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 09:07:54 PM  
shiat. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail.
img2.timeinc.net

 
blazemongr 2008-10-05 09:09:30 PM  
cambie: What the hell was he planning to do with it all? I would have thought sell it on eBay for 100% profit, but it sounds like all he did was fill his house and neighbors homes with it.

That's pretty much the definition of kleptomania. Especially if you're facing federal felony charges if ever you get caught.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-10-05 09:11:45 PM  
haemaker: US Navy? It was all Air Force DRMO anyway. Probably couldn't sell it on eBay. Who wants a 20MB RLL hard drive?

Well...in the last 18 mos, I've gotten from the new DRMO, www.govliquidation.com, 2 flatscreen monitors (21 & 20" Planar), 3 Sony vidcams, an Olympus camera, a Mitsu 35" CRT monitor.

All work, total ~$350.

 
jimmy2x 2008-10-05 09:22:00 PM  
Used to work for a CWO. Every time I went to the Supply dept for stuff he would come along. It was sort of one for the division and one for him.

We used to kid that if you went to his house and played the Star Spangled Banner, half the stuff in there would stand up and salute.

 
No Such Agency 2008-10-05 09:22:13 PM  
Barakku:
WTF?! He stole 1.6 Mill and didn't USE any of it? Kept stealing after his house was FULL? This guy's gotta be a klepto, for real...

And probably a hoarder to boot. If he didn't work for the government he'd probably be buying thousand of things off eBay and stacking them in his house.

 
chachi88 2008-10-05 09:26:00 PM  
Stealin an Aircraft Carrier...

One piece at a time.

 
simpsonfan 2008-10-05 09:31:42 PM  
Idiot. If you are going to steal, steal what you actually can use yourself, or sell. Filling up your own house is bad enough, but he stored the stuff in neighbors' houses too? If his neighbors were anything like MY neighbors, anything of his that he stored there would quickly become their stuff.

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 09:33:52 PM  
Ebay sellers' fees slowed down his business.

 
turnonyrlovelite [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 09:39:27 PM  
Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox

Is that Ron Paul?


/Ron Paul

 
Mister Peejay 2008-10-05 09:41:57 PM  
No Such Agency:
And probably a hoarder to boot. If he didn't work for the government he'd probably be buying thousand of things off eBay and stacking them in his house.


Holy crap! I used to live with one of those. I think he was afraid of unused space, or something.

It was funny when I had surgery in the tender man-bits region. Couldn't lift my legs for a week. This made the obstacle course to the bathroom difficult. Couldn't lift my legs but I could kick pretty good...

 
cthu1hu 2008-10-05 09:48:45 PM  
I used to mow grass for this (huge, slutty, German) lady who was married to an army colonel, or some such higher up. She stopped by her house one day to get something and walked in on him dressed in maid lingerie giving another man some sort of show. Needless to say, she got whatever she wanted out of the divorce deal and continues to blackmail him for various crap a decade later.

 
olddinosaur 2008-10-05 09:49:49 PM  
My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.

 
Darbus 2008-10-05 09:53:29 PM  
olddinosaur: My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.


He must have a real purty mouth.

 
mgf 2008-10-05 09:53:47 PM  
olddinosaur: My father defended a case like that when he was in the Navy: Guy had ripped off all sorts of crap, his wife got pissed and turned him in after a family fight.

The case looked hopeless, but my father got him acquitted even though he was guilty as sh*t, because the wife had no right to sign away his Constitutional rights.

My father was only a high school graduate, but he used to beat lawyers in court.

Eventually he got so many guilty guys off, they took him off that duty.


Aren't military defense counsel required to have a law degree?

 
olddinosaur 2008-10-05 09:57:46 PM  
They might be required to have a law degree now, but this was 1961.

 
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