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(Some Guy) Misc Attempt to breed an endangered turtle's last known female with China's last known male has failed. In their defense, though, she is 80 and he is 100   (620ktar.com) divider line 50
More: Misc  
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6939 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2008 at 12:13 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

50 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
Caulfield 2008-10-04 08:51:17 PM  
I'd hit it.

 
strangeguitar 2008-10-04 09:00:03 PM  
i219.photobucket.com

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-10-04 09:21:01 PM  
"What are you a farking park ranger now, submitter?

 
NeverDrunk23 2008-10-05 12:14:51 AM  
I like turtles.

 
Imperialism 2008-10-05 12:16:06 AM  
Vivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Viagra!

 
Combine_Orgasm 2008-10-05 12:17:22 AM  
i52.photobucket.com

Turtle Turtle

 
Coelacanth 2008-10-05 12:19:02 AM  
Maybe they could try a little rhino horn... Oops, my bad.

 
anarchy_x 2008-10-05 12:19:18 AM  
if they're too stupid to fark they should die.

 
laars 2008-10-05 12:20:11 AM  
The problem with eating Chinese turtles is thirty minutes later you are hungry agian

 
qrb912 [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 12:20:51 AM  
Job Description:

Turtle Pimp

/snicker

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 12:21:41 AM  
anarchy_x: if they're too stupid to fark they should die.

This's how I think about my dating life.
/Ah, shovels, god's erasers.

 
vgss 2008-10-05 12:22:00 AM  
Come on, these are chinamen. They probably ate the damn eggs and then made something up.

 
booboopowder 2008-10-05 12:22:27 AM  
80 and 100 is nothing in turtle years. they should be shagging like teenagers on prom night.

 
o4tuna 2008-10-05 12:23:01 AM  
www.oldmorla.de
Not that it matters...

 
chumleyuo 2008-10-05 12:23:47 AM  
anarchy_x: if they're too stupid to fark they should die.

They did fark, the eggs just didn't hatch.

 
Scoriox 2008-10-05 12:24:45 AM  
"I hate to call this a desperation move, but it really was," Rick Hudson, co-chair of the turtle alliance

Turtle Power!

 
Chinchillazilla [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-10-05 12:25:19 AM  
anarchy_x: if they're too stupid to fark they should die.

If they're too stupid to read the article they should die. Oh. Wait.

 
BrianJLG 2008-10-05 12:25:35 AM  
A couple years ago, by secret Executive Order, there was a classified effort led by the CIA and the Department of Homeland Security to breed Lynn Cheney with the cryogenically-preserved genetic material left behind by Richard Nixon.

The most "viable outcome" they were able to achieve turned out to be a younger, more paranoid, fly-fishing, negro-hating version of Richard Simmons.

What the hell ever happened to Mitt Romney?

 
darkanomaly 2008-10-05 12:30:25 AM  
I remember watching this video about different animals' breeding habits in Biology one time. The giant tortoises make really loud, hilarious moaning noises while getting it on. The noises combined with the slow motion doggie style (turtle style) action made it all pretty hilarious. I'll never be able to get it out of my head! Every time I see a turtle I think of that.

 
vudukungfu 2008-10-05 12:32:58 AM  
In their defense, though, she is 80 and he is 100

they're just kids. Let it ride a few centuries.

 
RyanWillia 2008-10-05 12:35:14 AM  
$5 to the first farker who photo shops a You're gonna get raped Michelangelo.
/just a FTW for the other farkers.

 
SU 2008-10-05 12:37:24 AM  
#1. Only one male and one female left? Isn't that to little genetic material for a species to proliferate? We are in the garden of eden, here.

#2. Surely we have the technology to inseminate the female without relying upon some ritual that involves the male?

 
SU 2008-10-05 12:38:59 AM  
SU: #1. Only one male and one female left? Isn't that to little genetic material for a species to proliferate? We are* in the garden of eden, here.


aren't.

 
Tackboard 2008-10-05 12:39:39 AM  
SU: #1. Only one male and one female left? Isn't that to little genetic material for a species to proliferate? We are in the garden of eden, here.

#2. Surely we have the technology to inseminate the female without relying upon some ritual that involves the male?


reading the article first probable would help with #2

 
Talon [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 12:40:33 AM  
SU: #2. Surely we have the technology to inseminate the female without relying upon some ritual that involves the male?

This.

Artificial insemination... do it.

 
someguy456 2008-10-05 12:41:23 AM  
So there's 3 known males and 1 known female...

Let's say they have a successful batch of baby turtles next year, than what? Do they just let them die out peacefully so the species can survive another hundred years? Or would they promote inbreeding?

 
EwokHunter 2008-10-05 12:41:54 AM  
Doesn't China have the same ratio problem with their human population as well?

Hmm, seems that given time, they will breed themselves into extinction as well.

 
eraser8 2008-10-05 12:53:08 AM  
Turtle sex is hot.

 
An Alps Stranger 2008-10-05 01:10:25 AM  
RyanWillia: $5 to the first farker who photo shops a You're gonna get raped Michelangelo.
/just a FTW for the other farkers.


Ask and ye shall receive
i37.tinypic.com

 
OnmyojiOmn 2008-10-05 01:13:13 AM  
This will end well.

www.collider.com

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-10-05 01:13:20 AM  
If only there were some other workable, albeit experimental, technique for producing viable embryos from male and female DNA, and then implanting them into healthy animals to gestate.

 
the ha ha guy 2008-10-05 01:24:00 AM  
someguy456: So there's 3 known males and 1 known female...

Let's say they have a successful batch of baby turtles next year, than what? Do they just let them die out peacefully so the species can survive another hundred years? Or would they promote inbreeding?


Unless the two other turtles are from the same parents as the currently mating pair, no inbreeding, at least for a few more generations (likely a good 300-500 years). By that time, science should have developed enough that they can take care of any genetic defects from inbreeding.

 
NeuroticRocker [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-10-05 01:24:03 AM  
plus isnt 80 and 100 like 13 and 20 in turtle years?

 
Jarhead_h 2008-10-05 01:25:15 AM  
someguy456: So there's 3 known males and 1 known female...

Let's say they have a successful batch of baby turtles next year, than what? Do they just let them die out peacefully so the species can survive another hundred years? Or would they promote inbreeding?


This species is never leaving the zoo system again. When the turtle eggs hatch, each of the other males will be bred with as many of the females as possible before they also die. Inbreeding and it's genetic nightmares will show up eventually but I don't see how they have any other choice.

 
Cosmic Crab 2008-10-05 01:41:05 AM  
vgss: Come on, these are chinamen. They probably ate the damn eggs and then made something up.

Maybe if chinese men stopped paying Big Bucks for ancient quacklore snake-oil made from parts of rare species, and paid attention to how much damned lead was was in the environment, they would need cures for droopy penis. (Not that the West is better, just a couple decades ahead on the curve, as usual.)

 
sweater_pups [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-10-05 01:43:59 AM  
was the sad tag too busy being all emo in the corner??

 
TigerStar 2008-10-05 01:49:06 AM  
img206.imageshack.us
Horny Goat Weed - Made in China

 
RTFarticle 2008-10-05 03:10:47 AM  
What a shame. Turtle soup is delicious.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-10-05 03:35:09 AM  
FTFA: Breathless scientists watched as they successfully mated.

Was it good for them too?

 
CzarAdam 2008-10-05 04:26:49 AM  
Attempt to breed an endangered turtle's last known female with China's last known male has failed.

What are you talking about? 'China's last known male'? Last I heard China had a billion people, how can they be down to one 100 year-old dude?

And what gave him the turtle idea?

 
Ude Garami 2008-10-05 10:44:54 AM  
Where's the sad tag?

 
Special T 2008-10-05 11:01:07 AM  
Jarhead_h: someguy456: So there's 3 known males and 1 known female...

Let's say they have a successful batch of baby turtles next year, than what? Do they just let them die out peacefully so the species can survive another hundred years? Or would they promote inbreeding?

This species is never leaving the zoo system again. When the turtle eggs hatch, each of the other males will be bred with as many of the females as possible before they also die. Inbreeding and it's genetic nightmares will show up eventually but I don't see how they have any other choice.


Reptiles are much more tolerant of inbreeding than mammals. It takes A LOT of inbreeding to cause significant defects. Hundreds (if not more) of "designer" reptile morphs have been created through inbreeding.

 
Lacerated Spleen 2008-10-05 11:04:09 AM  
Where is the fail tag?

 
bpsoup 2008-10-05 11:29:01 AM  
Isn't this why cloning was invented? Why are we making more sheep and dogs, and not helping some of these species on the verge of extinction?

And on the other hand, don't these scientists believe in evolution? That's the natural order of the world: survival of the fittest. Why the big deal when a species goes extinct? They're supposed to and have been doing it since the beginning of time.

 
bpsoup 2008-10-05 11:29:49 AM  
That is a cool looking turtle.

 
bmb_789 2008-10-05 11:59:25 AM  
o4tuna: Not that it matters...

We don't even care whether or not we care...

 
nebjammer 2008-10-05 04:02:00 PM  
I'm so lonely
Mr.Lonely
I ain't got nonody
For my own. OOOOOOHHHHH.
I'm so lonely
Mr.Lonely
Ain't got nobody
for my own. OOOOOOOHHHHHHH.


I'm so lonely.......

 
Dyolf_Knip 2008-10-05 10:23:11 PM  
> Surely we have the technology to inseminate the female without relying upon some ritual that involves the male?

It's possible there isn't, or at least the procedure requires more than just a turkey baster. The first example that comes to mind is felines. The feline penis has sharp barbs pointing backwards, and when he pulls out it's more than a little painful for the female. But as it turns out, it is exactly this anatomical arrangement that stimulates ovulation.

Vets have devices to allow them to fake this when it comes to cats. But if we don't happen to know all the ins and outs of turtle reproduction (thank you, I'll be here all night!), they're pretty much dead. Frankly, when you're down to only 4 living members, IMHO it's already Dead Species Walking.

 
nebjammer 2008-10-05 10:50:24 PM  
Dyolf_Knip: > Surely we have the technology to inseminate the female without relying upon some ritual that involves the male?

It's possible there isn't, or at least the procedure requires more than just a turkey baster. The first example that comes to mind is felines. The feline penis has sharp barbs pointing backwards, and when he pulls out it's more than a little painful for the female. But as it turns out, it is exactly this anatomical arrangement that stimulates ovulation.

Vets have devices to allow them to fake this when it comes to cats. But if we don't happen to know all the ins and outs of turtle reproduction (thank you, I'll be here all night!), they're pretty much dead. Frankly, when you're down to only 4 living members, IMHO it's already Dead Species Walking.


Oh god...... MY EYES!

 
Andralynn 2008-10-06 08:35:09 PM  
Chinchillazilla: anarchy_x: if they're too stupid to fark they should die.

If they're too stupid to read the article they should die. Oh. Wait.


It wasn't even the turtles fault either, it was a bad diet, low in calcium that caused the eggs to not be viable. (:

 
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