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(Daily Stab) Stupid Kevin Costner's going country, y'all   (dailystab.com) divider line 28
More: Stupid  
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1117 clicks; posted to Music » on 30 Sep 2008 at 12:42 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

28 Comments   (+0 »)


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Mr. Murder 2008-09-30 10:14:22 AM  
Can't be any worse than Water World.

 
NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 10:17:24 AM  
Mr. Murder: Can't be any worse than Water World.

I think you mean Wa'ter Worl'd

/nods toward subby

 
Guy Innagorillasuit [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 10:19:24 AM  
I like a little bit of some of the older country, but new country is just lame ass rock with a little twang in it.

 
Gunny Highway 2008-09-30 10:26:46 AM  
i282.photobucket.com

Hopefully a musical version of this.

 
internut scholar [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 10:52:04 AM  
Alan Jackson should make a song about this type of thing.

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 11:28:02 AM  
Ah, country "music." The last refuge for people so ludicrously untalented that they simply can't make it anywhere EXCEPT where the bar is set so low that it's actually buried in the mud.

I hope Darius Rucker and Jessica Simpson keep him company.

 
dogdaze [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 12:58:59 PM  
i30.photobucket.com

 
degreeless 2008-09-30 01:03:18 PM  
Mr. Murder: Can't be any worse than Water World.fark you I liked water world. Dennis Hopper played an awesome smoker.

 
Fraggler [TotalFark] 2008-09-30 01:08:29 PM  
He's probably incapable of a western accent, though.

 
HipsterHolocaust 2008-09-30 01:40:59 PM  
Yeah, but will he achieve the same stellar level of critical and commercial success as noteworthy crossover acts Bruce Willis? Or Don Johnson? How about Patrick Swayze? The bar is set high. Godspeed, Mr. Costner. Godspeed.

/she's like the wind

 
H31N0US 2008-09-30 02:53:08 PM  
Kevin Costner just might be insipid enough to become a success in that field.

 
vblade 2008-09-30 03:23:16 PM  
HipsterHolocaust: Yeah, but will he achieve the same stellar level of critical and commercial success as noteworthy crossover acts Bruce Willis? Or Don Johnson? How about Patrick Swayze? The bar is set high. Godspeed, Mr. Costner. Godspeed.

/she's like the wind


Don't forget Eddie Murphy

/she likes to party all the time

 
markiedog 2008-09-30 10:38:21 PM  
MaxxLarge
Ah, country "music." The last refuge for people so ludicrously untalented that they simply can't make it anywhere EXCEPT where the bar is set so low that it's actually buried in the mud.

I hope Darius Rucker and Jessica Simpson keep him company.


FYI 2 Country artists had the highest grossing tours of the year.
Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney each took in over 30 million.

Country music outsells all genres of music.There are more country
radio stations than any other format. Why? Because it's the most
popular with Americans.

The only reason you make fun of it is you're afraid you might like it.

Try some Keith Urban or the Road Hammers you might be surprised.
And take off the ugly ass doo rag.

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2008-10-01 01:43:26 AM  
markiedog: MaxxLarge
Ah, country "music." The last refuge for people so ludicrously untalented that they simply can't make it anywhere EXCEPT where the bar is set so low that it's actually buried in the mud.

I hope Darius Rucker and Jessica Simpson keep him company.

FYI 2 Country artists had the highest grossing tours of the year.
Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney each took in over 30 million.

Country music outsells all genres of music.There are more country
radio stations than any other format. Why? Because it's the most
popular with Americans.

The only reason you make fun of it is you're afraid you might like it.

Try some Keith Urban or the Road Hammers you might be surprised.
And take off the ugly ass doo rag.


You could've at least recommended Dale Watson or Hank III or something like that. Or some Waylon or Merle Haggard.

I've noticed though, that he never shares any examples of his own no doubt profound and incredibly creative music. Wonder why that might be?

 
Killer Miller 2008-10-01 02:07:42 AM  
I saw his band perform at a NASCAR race a couple of years ago. Not out on the infield grass in front of thousands, they were on a stage out by the souvenir trailers and sponsor exhibits. They were horrible. It was on the same day as the Academy Awards. Just shows you the state of his career when on the day of the Oscars he was playing the equivalent of a county fair.

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2008-10-01 02:34:24 AM  
markiedog: FYI 2 Country artists had the highest grossing tours of the year.
Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney each took in over 30 million.

Country music outsells all genres of music.There are more country
radio stations than any other format. Why? Because it's the most
popular with Americans.


Let me see if I can re-phrase your argument in similar terms:

"FYI McDonald's had the highest sales of any restaurant of the year. According to their signs, they served over 30 billion. McDonald's food outsells all other restaurants' food. There are more McDonald's than any other restaurant. Why? Because it's the most popular with Americans."

Just because something is EVERYWHERE doesn't mean it's GOOD, dipshiat. It just means that stupid people will consume whatever is fed to them in massive amounts. Some of us would rather eat GOOD food, prepared by skilled chefs, and using quality ingredients. But if you're happy eating mass-produced, re-heated, factory-farmed garbage cooked by pimply 16-year-olds on an assembly line, bully for you. Just don't try to convince me that ubiquity equals quality. It just equals marketing.

The only reason you make fun of it is you're afraid you might like it.

Gee, THERE'S a well-reasoned argument...But I'm afraid not. I've heard plenty of it, because it's largely inescapable in some contexts. And it is universally horrible. Twangy, nasal garbage that only knows a few beginner chord progressions, a few extremely basic lyrical themes, and only one sort of "fashion sense"...The kind that worships ignorance. It's neither culturally relevant, nor musically well-constructed. Country is simple, rudimentary, stupid music for simple, rudimentary and stupid people.

Try some Keith Urban or the Road Hammers you might be surprised.

I've heard Keith Urban. Isn't he the fellow who penned that modern classic, "Yew Look Good in Mah Shert"? The one that includes the immortal lyrics:

C'mon now
Aww that's right
Oh you look so fine
And maybe it's a little too early
To know if this is gonna work
All I know is you're sure looking
Good in my shirt


Gee. Real shining example of the overall highbrow nature of the genre, there. Super example to pull out if you're trying to make the argument that Country isn't just for thick-skulled, beer-swillin' rednecks who'll never love they wives as much as they pickup trucks, ya hear? Gawrsh! P-tui!

And take off the ugly ass doo rag.


At least I have the sack to post a photo, Nancy. I don't see you stepping up to the plate.

You're going to have to try harder, I'm afraid.

 
Mad Mark 2008-10-01 07:35:10 AM  
Killer Miller: I saw his band perform at a NASCAR race a couple of years ago. Not out on the infield grass in front of thousands, they were on a stage out by the souvenir trailers and sponsor exhibits. They were horrible. It was on the same day as the Academy Awards. Just shows you the state of his career when on the day of the Oscars he was playing the equivalent of a county fair.

I wonder if he'll be wearing his Bass Pro Shops hat on the cover of his new album?
Can I still call it an album????

 
GibbyTheMole 2008-10-01 09:19:45 AM  
markiedog:

Popularity does not equal quality.

I've worked in what is called "country" radio for the past decade or so. The stuff that is being shoveled to the masses by the suits in Nashville has all the substance of a pop-tart. What's being called "country" music these days is stagnant and repetitive pop with the occasional fiddle and "y'all" thrown in once in awhile. As with most kinds of music, there is good country music out there, but you're not going to hear it on the radio very much. The stuff on the radio is simply a manufactured mass-market product with about as much "soul" as a Kenny G record.

Don't get me wrong, there are some great musicians in contemporary country music. (Brad Paisley and Keith Urban are monster guitar players, for instance.) But the stuff they record is mostly drivel, because that's what sells.

 
This 2008-10-01 10:45:19 AM  
I have no respect for a genre where every third song includes verses belittling me for not being a moral, down-home salt-of-the-earth country person.

No wonder rednecks obsess so much about "elitism" - they wrote the book on it. Anybody who doesn't live their lifestyle is obviously beneath them.

 
John Buck 41 2008-10-01 12:41:38 PM  
Gunny Highway: Hopefully a musical version of this.

That movie ('Open Range') kicked some serious ass.

 
John Buck 41 2008-10-01 12:48:41 PM  
This: I have no respect for a genre where every third song includes verses belittling me for not being a moral, down-home salt-of-the-earth country person.

No wonder rednecks obsess so much about "elitism" - they wrote the book on it. Anybody who doesn't live their lifestyle is obviously beneath them.


Well...yeah.

 
John Buck 41 2008-10-01 01:00:05 PM  
Maxxlarge wrote:

In any country thread, I just assume he/she will pop in and bash it.

 
Mirrorz 2008-10-01 01:19:45 PM  
I speak Portugreek so i'm getting a kick out of...

Why do people hate Kevin Costner movies so much?
Length, content, etc?

I'll take a Costner movie over anything Nicholas Cage has ever cursed with his "acting."

 
T.rex 2008-10-01 08:03:27 PM  
Mr. Murder
Can't be any worse than Water World.

Contrary to popular thought, Water World made money, and in fact was not panned by most critics.

I'd say his worst movie was The Postman. I don't hate on Kostner at all. He's aging well, and generally makes good movies.

 
markiedog 2008-10-01 09:11:10 PM  
maxxlarge
And it is universally horrible. Twangy, nasal garbage that only knows a few beginner chord progressions, a few extremely basic lyrical themes, and only one sort of "fashion sense"...The kind that worships ignorance. It's neither culturally relevant, nor musically well-constructed. Country is simple, rudimentary, stupid music for simple, rudimentary and stupid people.

How long did it take you to look up all those big words?

You obviously haven't listened much lately. If you don't like Country music why the fark do you even post a comment! Do you think you are so worldly that people are going to stop and say "Damn,
that there feller with a bandana sure is smart!"

Why don't you tell us what your favorite music is? I'll bet I can
make it sound as horrible as you can country music. Should be easy,,
you look like the Jonas Brother type. Ok, that was a cheap shot
my apologies.

GibbyTheMole

Name a genre of music that is completely awesome and doesn't have
any ass clowns or no-talent hacks in it? They all do. The point is
if you don't like it, fine, but don't run it down. Nobody cares
what you think.

 
markiedog 2008-10-01 09:19:32 PM  
Maxxlarge
At least I have the sack to post a photo, Nancy. I don't see you stepping up to the plate.

Wow I didn't realize to be manly you have to post picture on Fark.
Do they sell sacks at the bandana store? I should maybe try to get
one.

 
GibbyTheMole 2008-10-02 08:17:41 AM  
markiedog:

"Name a genre of music that is completely awesome and doesn't have any ass clowns or no-talent hacks in it?

I don't see a lot of no-talent hacks in the classical or jazz fields. Maybe they're out there, but I have yet to spot one.

"Nobody cares what you think."

Well, apparently you did.

 
markiedog 2008-10-02 11:04:48 AM  
GibbyTheMole
I don't see a lot of no-talent hacks in the classical or jazz fields. Maybe they're out there, but I have yet to spot one.

Congratulation to you for taking up the slack!

My point is if you don't care for something don't come throwing
insults at it. I believe the unwritten Fark rule is. YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ANYTHING, BUT IT HAS TO HAVE A HUMOROUS TWIST TO IT.

 
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