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(Star-Bulletin) Obvious Doomsday lawsuit against Large Hardon Collider thrown out after judge rules that no, the Swiss-French border region isn't under the jurisdiction of US courts   (starbulletin.com) divider line 80
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Pope George Ringo [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:14:40 PM  
lolthulhu.com

 
Etchy333 [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:19:05 PM  
Well, not yet. But, once they switch it on, it'll suck all matter and space-time into a singularity.

 
me texan [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:24:05 PM  
Hardon?

 
Kublai Khan [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:47:02 PM  
me texan: Hardon?

i220.photobucket.com

It's not just a large hardon, it's HUGE!

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:48:27 PM  
me texan: Hardon?

I can see why large colliding hardons are bad, yes... can't you?

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:53:37 PM  
I can see why large colliding hardons are bad, yes... can't you?

Swordfight!

 
BuckTurgidson 2008-09-28 07:58:42 PM  
Mugato: I can see why large colliding hardons are bad, yes... can't you?

Swordfight!


You never make them touch, that's NOT cool! (possibly not work safe)

 
Speaker2Animals 2008-09-28 08:53:58 PM  
Scienceman123: Did Rugbyjock submit this headline?

Please! Don't wake him up.

 
Studson 2008-09-28 08:54:24 PM  
no subject matter jurisdiction

 
Fabric_Man 2008-09-28 08:54:39 PM  
Well, if they touch, that wouldn't be too bad. Not for me, of course, but I'm not one to judge others for their sexual orientation.

But collisions? Dude, that could be painful.

 
Pegasus_CAG 2008-09-28 08:54:51 PM  
Do you ever wonder if the mods greenlight headlines with the spelling errors left in so they can generate comments like the ones in this thread?

 
AuCinaoaMie 2008-09-28 08:55:17 PM  
Hardon collider? Shouldnt that be in San Fransico or perhaps South Beach Florida?

 
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat 2008-09-28 08:55:18 PM  
France surrenders!

 
Madman drummers bummers 2008-09-28 08:56:33 PM  
...yet.

 
BKred 2008-09-28 08:56:55 PM  
BuckTurgidson: Mugato: I can see why large colliding hardons are bad, yes... can't you?

Swordfight!

You never make them touch, that's NOT cool! (possibly not work safe)


Boss! BOSS!

 
namegoeshere 2008-09-28 08:58:00 PM  
Etchy333: Well, not yet. But, once they switch it on, it'll suck all matter and space-time into a singularity.

At least we wouldn't have to worry about the economy anymore.

 
Gordon Bennett 2008-09-28 08:58:00 PM  
Large Hardon Collider. Somewhere out there, an epic gay porn is being born.

 
KiwDaWabbit 2008-09-28 08:58:04 PM  
Switzerland is obviously along the Iraqi-Afghanistani border.

 
PH Neutral 2008-09-28 08:58:23 PM  
Etchy333: Well, not yet. But, once they switch it on, it'll suck all matter and space-time into a singularity.

Nice! +1

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:58:40 PM  
So does this mean we can stop being the world police now, or do we still have to do that?

 
xria 2008-09-28 08:58:58 PM  
Fabric_Man: Well, if they touch, that wouldn't be too bad. Not for me, of course, but I'm not one to judge others for their sexual orientation.

But collisions? Dude, that could be painful.


Well especially colliding them at nearly 300,000km/s.

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:59:11 PM  
Somewhere in Arkansas, a guy named Cletus is saying, "Jaysus, sum peeple ar just stoopid".

 
mouell 2008-09-28 08:59:29 PM  
I'm sort of confused as a lot of asshats think that foreign fighters captured in Afghanistan and/or Iraq somehow do...

 
dbaggins 2008-09-28 08:59:36 PM  
I was about to say "bah! I eat Large Hadrons for breakfast!"

then I re-read the headline.

never mind.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 09:00:16 PM  
If the balls touch, we all die (new window - nsfw)

 
Priapic 2008-09-28 09:00:28 PM  
Boy o boy, these judges are as active as meth freaks when they want to get my guns or goat porn, but as soon as their international Jew banker overlords yank the leash, they pull their heads into their commie tortoise shell and are, like, "ooh, no jurisdiction!" Well, keep your jurisdiction out of my 16 year old girlfriend's anus too!

 
blkhwk86 2008-09-28 09:00:34 PM  
Large Hardon Collider??? Subby fails...

 
TopoGigo 2008-09-28 09:00:40 PM  
I'm assuming it's on purpose. I've been calling it that in my head for the last couple of weeks. If I had friends who knew about anything other than sports statistics, I could call it Hardon Collider to them. As it is, they'd just say "What the hell are you talking about, fag?"fark, I need some new friends.

 
mortimer_ford 2008-09-28 09:01:42 PM  
Pegasus_CAG: Do you ever wonder if the mods greenlight headlines with the spelling errors left in so they can generate comments like the ones in this thread?

Yes

 
EvilAvatar 2008-09-28 09:03:00 PM  
I am constantly amazed by how ridiculously stupid we can be.

This just reminds me of the people that understand that we cannot possibly be alone in the universe, yet wonder why no one has made definitive contact yet.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 09:05:12 PM  
blkhwk86: Large Hardon Collider??? Subby fails...

I'm never sure if these headlines say "hardon" or "hadron."

 
frontrowgirl 2008-09-28 09:05:14 PM  
their claims are as specious as jonathan lee riches(c)'s claims are.

 
ultraholland 2008-09-28 09:22:57 PM  
The fear is strong with this one.

 
Nightmaretony 2008-09-28 09:23:18 PM  
Did someone say Hardon Collider?

www.nightmarepark.com

 
whizbang [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 09:24:41 PM  
img88.imageshack.us

 
rathoth 2008-09-28 09:24:44 PM  
FTA: Gillmor, in a 26-page decision Friday, said the plaintiffs - a Big Island man and a Spanish citizen who lives in Hawaii - did not prove that the federal courts have jurisdiction over the Large Hadron Collider on the French-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland.

So much Fail...it's a Win.

 
Yakk 2008-09-28 09:24:45 PM  
Can you say Black Mesa? Grab your crowbars everyone, we got headhumpers to womp.

 
Joker you diabolical... 2008-09-28 09:24:46 PM  
The Swiss-French border isn't under the jurisdiction of U.S. courts? Fine. Then don't expect the American government to pour billions of its atoms into your mess, when your system collapses, chumps.

 
freakdiablo 2008-09-28 09:26:36 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: If the balls touch, we all die (new window - nsfw)

I hate you, I clicked it before reading the NSFW part :(

 
Arbus_Khan 2008-09-28 09:35:41 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: I watched the 60 Minutes segment earlier. Fascinating stuff, but I can't help but think...what would happen if somebody...

not to worry- just apply L'Hospital's rule a couple of times and that zero thingy in the denominator goes right away, or else it causes the Cathedral at Chalesm to blip out of existence; one or the other- I forget which.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 09:41:20 PM  
But she said the proper venue for the debate over U.S. support for the program is in Congress, not the federal courts.

Because they have such an impressive record of making brilliant decisions.

 
Jument 2008-09-28 09:45:11 PM  
Gillmor, in a 26-page decision Friday...

It makes me sad that it takes 26 pages to say "get out of my court, you loons".

 
MBA Whore 2008-09-28 09:45:27 PM  
WTF is this in Europe? We have smart scientist and an assload of money too. Yes, I know Americans work on the project but that is not the point. We, too, can do this. We should.

WTF don't we build one?

 
shipofthesun 2008-09-28 09:47:20 PM  
MBA Whore: WTF don't we build one?

Well, uh, we tried(p).

 
Jument 2008-09-28 09:48:31 PM  
MBA Whore: WTF don't we build one?

Because you have no money left after all those wars? Because your debt-overload economy is flushing itself down the shiatter? Because most of your citizens are farktarded backwards hicks?

Do I need to go on?

/half-serious, half-kidding, mostly weeping

 
ZurkisPhreek 2008-09-28 09:59:32 PM  
Doomsday lawsuit... jeebus! Like a wad of cash will do anyone any good if the Earth got sucked into a singularity. (singularity ensues?)
Just another case of "hey, let's see if we can get some money outta this!".
The whole jurisdiction excuse is only a nice way of saying "go fark yourselves and stop wasting our time, morans".

 
Yogimus 2008-09-28 10:02:06 PM  
Jument: MBA Whore: WTF don't we build one?

Because you have no money left after all those wars? Because your debt-overload economy is flushing itself down the shiatter? Because most of your citizens are farktarded backwards hicks?

Do I need to go on?

/half-serious, half-kidding, mostly weeping


We have 1. http://www.fnal.gov/

But don't let that get you out of your funk.

 
eraser8 2008-09-28 10:04:01 PM  
ZurkisPhreek: Like a wad of cash will do anyone any good if the Earth got sucked into a singularity.

I'm guessing they were looking for an injunction against further operation of the machine. There's no money to be had here.

 
zhinz 2008-09-28 10:12:23 PM  
EvilAvatar: I am constantly amazed by how ridiculously stupid we can be.

This just reminds me of the people that understand that we cannot possibly be alone in the universe, yet wonder why no one has made definitive contact yet.

How do people "understand" that we cannot possibly be alone in the universe? No one really knows the proper values for the variables in Drake's Equation. If a person takes a pessimistic view of each of these, it's easy to come up with numbers that say that we may never receive radio traffic from intelligent life, let alone be "visited" by them.

 
Gothmolly 2008-09-28 10:16:20 PM  
LHC = Oster-Hagen Key ?

 
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