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(London Times) Dumbass Aspiring chef cooks up a killer chili sauce, Darwin stops by for a hearty helping   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 111
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 05:26:09 PM  
HABANEROWN3D

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:03:15 PM  
Well, that's one thing I won't be doing with the six dozen habeneros in my freezer.

(The garden did well this year.)

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:24:46 PM  
"He apparently got into bed at 2.30am and started scratching all over. His girlfriend scratched his back until he fell asleep"


Sounds more like an allergic reaction than death by habanero.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:48:18 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: HABANEROWN3D

WINNAH!

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:39:41 PM  
rcain: Sounds more like an allergic reaction than death by habanero.

I can imagine a high enough dose of Capsaicin might trigger an anaphylactic reaction.

 
Studson 2008-09-28 07:44:02 PM  
img100.imageshack.us

 
Phil McKraken 2008-09-28 07:44:52 PM  
They're british. WTF did they expect?

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:50:25 PM  
www.ahappycamper.com

Approves

 
nirwana [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:50:31 PM  
I survives anaphylaxis due to speedy response from ER personnel, so I'm getting a kick from this dude's death.

/I call it 'negative land'
//hot is cold, up is down, muscles move accoring to their own free will
///avoid it if you can, k?

 
T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:50:43 PM  
Can you order it online?

 
carrot 2008-09-28 07:52:44 PM  
They're british. WTF did they expect?

But I didn't eat the mousse!

 
theorellior 2008-09-28 07:53:44 PM  
abb3w: Well, that's one thing I won't be doing with the six dozen habeneros in my freezer.

You could make homemade pepper spray, though.

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:53:46 PM  
Food is not a contact sport.

 
luckyeddie 2008-09-28 07:53:57 PM  
carrot: They're british. WTF did they expect?

But I didn't eat the mousse!


Fine pythoning, carrot

 
tuna fingers 2008-09-28 07:54:11 PM  
nirwana: I survives anaphylaxis due to speedy response from ER personnel, so I'm getting a kick from this dude's death.

/I call it 'negative land'
//hot is cold, up is down, muscles move accoring to their own free will
///avoid it if you can, k?


Did you get that from peppers?
The next pepper on my list is the Scotch Bonnet - 100,000-350,000 Scoville Units.
My wife just began grad school at NMSU - the pepper Mecca.

 
Rethorn 2008-09-28 07:55:30 PM  
Phil McKraken: british

Came here to say this.

 
sungodmtu 2008-09-28 07:56:21 PM  
radprofile.com

Wonder how his tears tasted?

/Got nothing...just the first thing that came to mind.

 
mouell 2008-09-28 07:56:26 PM  
www.allposters.com


Currently unavailable for comment.

 
tuna fingers 2008-09-28 07:56:38 PM  
Studson - that is one curious post. Please inform me. What is wrong with whey protein?

 
McKeesport Beer Baron 2008-09-28 07:56:40 PM  
You people let me down every now and then...
i227.photobucket.com

 
whammer 2008-09-28 07:57:17 PM  
Best easy habernero picante recipe:

Put on rubber gloves, wear good quality dust mask and lab glasses.

Remove stems from two dozen habaneros. Run them through a meat grinder with a large white onion on a stove top with the fan on high. Put ground peppers and onion in one quart glass jar with airtight lid.

Disassemble and wash grinder parts in cold, soapy water and rinse in cold water *before* putting them in a dishwasher to wash. They may look clean, but...

Boil enough cider vinegar to cover mash. Use 1 teaspoon sea salt per cup of vinegar. Pour over mash and seal jar.

Let mash sit for a minimum of two weeks. Then, donning safety equipment again, puree the heck out of it in a blender, again on stove top under fan. Finally, mix in one cup of Everclear(tm) grain alcohol and bottle.

Start out with one drop on a burrito. After a month of regular use, you should be a total habanero picante junkie. Tabasco sauce is a strong addiction, but habanero is like Farking heroin.

 
theorellior 2008-09-28 07:57:36 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: HABANEROWN3D

Since the guy was British, it was probably poblanos or Hungarian wax peppers that did it.

 
Jean-Puc_Licard 2008-09-28 07:58:27 PM  
no whey

 
theorellior 2008-09-28 07:59:34 PM  
whammer: After a month of regular use, you should be a total habanero picante junkie.

[copy, paste]

 
luckyeddie 2008-09-28 08:00:50 PM  
theorellior: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: HABANEROWN3D

Since the guy was British, it was probably poblanos or Hungarian wax peppers that did it.


Not me, pal - many Brits are curryaholics. As for me, it has to be vindaloo - minimum.

 
hyperspacemonkey 2008-09-28 08:01:13 PM  
I think that the girlfriend scratching his back left trace amounts of cyanide in the little marks that her nails left.

 
robisfunky 2008-09-28 08:01:56 PM  
members.cox.net

 
emdub 2008-09-28 08:03:08 PM  
I'd say that he died due to the fact the food had any flavor at all. The traditional guide to British cooking: Boil all meat and veggies until they're all the same color, and devoid of flavor. Remember, you can always salt it back to life!

 
tuna fingers 2008-09-28 08:03:41 PM  
tuna fingers: Studson - that is one curious post. Please inform me. What is wrong with whey protein?

I deserve any ridicule already presented and forthcoming.
I went to the pisser and it came to me.
I was ripe for that to fly over my head as I've been researching the rumor that soy protein will shrinken my pecker.

 
xuanzhiyouxuan 2008-09-28 08:04:02 PM  
Phil McKraken: They're british. WTF did they expect?

Looks like I'm going to have to post the vegemite soldiers pic again
farm4.static.flickr.com

 
Luthiel 2008-09-28 08:06:37 PM  
www.thedotdotdot.com

It tastes like burning!

 
luckyeddie 2008-09-28 08:07:13 PM  
emdub: I'd say that he died due to the fact the food had any flavor at all. The traditional guide to British cooking: Boil all meat and veggies until they're all the same color, and devoid of flavor. Remember, you can always salt it back to life!

Stereotypes are great aren't they, fatty?

;)

 
theorellior 2008-09-28 08:08:57 PM  
luckyeddie: Not me, pal - many Brits are curryaholics. As for me, it has to be vindaloo - minimum.

Crap, I'd forgotten about curries. So tasty.

And now I want a vindaloo. Curses!

 
Madman drummers bummers 2008-09-28 08:11:21 PM  
Dude, that's hot.

 
Hotdoggin 2008-09-28 08:12:18 PM  
xuanzhiyouxuan: Phil McKraken: They're british. WTF did they expect?

Looks like I'm going to have to post the vegemite soldiers pic again


FAIL

Vegemite is from Australia.

 
Hotdoggin 2008-09-28 08:16:04 PM  
Naga Jolokia FTW (new window)

 
adeist69 2008-09-28 08:16:50 PM  
whammer:

Finally, mix in one cup of Everclear(tm) grain alcohol and bottle.



Wait, whut?

 
tuna fingers 2008-09-28 08:17:32 PM  
luckyeddie: emdub: I'd say that he died due to the fact the food had any flavor at all. The traditional guide to British cooking: Boil all meat and veggies until they're all the same color, and devoid of flavor. Remember, you can always salt it back to life!

Stereotypes are great aren't they, fatty?

;)


Not a stereotype.
The fact is that not a lot of varying flora exist in England necessary for exceptional culinary skills. My mother is of Swedish heritage and was raised on a farm in Minnesota. Her cooking can be atrocious. Have you ever been to a fantastic Swedish restaurant?
No, you haven't.
They do not exist; meat and potatoes and meat and fish and meat.

 
Poteighteau 2008-09-28 08:19:00 PM  
"Aspiring chef cooks up a killer chili sauce, Darwin stops by for a hearty helping"

He killed Darwin?

 
xuanzhiyouxuan 2008-09-28 08:19:20 PM  
Hotdoggin: xuanzhiyouxuan: Phil McKraken: They're british. WTF did they expect?

Looks like I'm going to have to post the vegemite soldiers pic again

FAIL

Vegemite is from Australia.


FAIL yourself. Vegemite is common in Great Britain, Australia, and New Zealand.

 
tuna fingers 2008-09-28 08:21:44 PM  
tuna fingers:
Not a stereotype.
The fact is that not a lot of varying flora exist in England necessary for exceptional culinary skills. My mother is of Swedish heritage and was raised on a farm in Minnesota. Her cooking can be atrocious. Have you ever been to a fantastic Swedish restaurant?
No, you haven't.
They do not exist; meat and potatoes and meat and fish and meat.


Change "skills" to "history" or something similar. I'm sure there are fine chefs in England, but they are applying global traditions - not local.

 
calm like a bomb 2008-09-28 08:24:44 PM  
tuna fingers:
Not a stereotype.
The fact is that not a lot of varying flora exist in England necessary for exceptional culinary skills. My mother is of Swedish heritage and was raised on a farm in Minnesota. Her cooking can be atrocious. Have you ever been to a fantastic Swedish restaurant?
No, you haven't.
They do not exist; meat and potatoes and meat and fish and meat.


My brother in law gave us a Colombian cookbook for xmas one year while he was living in Bogota. EVERY farkING DISH included rice, potatoes, and for some reason, a fried egg. Horrible.

And while we're on crappy national cuisine, what is the deal with the Ethiopian bread? Give me the willies just touching it.

 
Meet Us at the Stick [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:26:16 PM  
tuna fingers: I'm sure there are fine chefs in England, but they are applying global traditions - not local.

Gordon Ramsay would like to have a word with you.

One of his pet causes is traditional British food.

 
nirwana [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:28:01 PM  
tuna fingers: nirwana: I survives anaphylaxis due to speedy response from ER personnel, so I'm getting a kick from this dude's death.

/I call it 'negative land'
//hot is cold, up is down, muscles move accoring to their own free will
///avoid it if you can, k?

Did you get that from peppers?
The next pepper on my list is the Scotch Bonnet - 100,000-350,000 Scoville Units.
My wife just began grad school at NMSU - the pepper Mecca.


Nah, I got mine from taking an experimental, psychoactive sedative given to me from a crazy Vietnam vet. Ah, the things you do when you're 20..

 
calm like a bomb 2008-09-28 08:28:22 PM  
Meet Us at the Stick: tuna fingers: I'm sure there are fine chefs in England, but they are applying global traditions - not local.

Gordon Ramsay would like to have a word with you.

One of his pet causes is traditional British food.


I've had some very good traditional British food. Porter's in London is one of my favorite restaurants. Hell, the pub lunches are often excellent. I lived there for two years, was frightened by the food stories I heard before going, and they just didn't stand up to some of the meals I had. Now, Irish food, OTOH, is just godawful.

 
emdub 2008-09-28 08:30:37 PM  
luckyeddie: emdub: I'd say that he died due to the fact the food had any flavor at all. The traditional guide to British cooking: Boil all meat and veggies until they're all the same color, and devoid of flavor. Remember, you can always salt it back to life!

Stereotypes are great aren't they, fatty?

;)


Yep, and there's a reason they're called generalizations... they're generally true.

/entirely of british ancestry
//eaten lots of british food

 
robisfunky 2008-09-28 08:32:37 PM  
www.tshirtwatch.com

 
sofa_King_2006 2008-09-28 08:33:01 PM  
i95.photobucket.com

Approves.

 
Sarah Jessica Farker [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:33:17 PM  
adeist69: whammer:

Finally, mix in one cup of Everclear(tm) grain alcohol and bottle.



Wait, whut?


this just in - some nouns can also be used as verbs.

 
jso2897 2008-09-28 08:34:56 PM  
Damn. I've got to find a good Indian place on the West Side.
Vindaloo.
Yeh.

 
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