Tell your alderman to post some @#$%ing minimum speed limits!
You have the ability to change these things!
SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!

hahahahaha. this is great.

Christ. That reads like a Fark thread.

I'll go on the record and say I hate bicyclists. The worst offenders are messengers. They somehow think that riding the wrong way on a one way street between lanes in downtown Chicago is acceptable behavior. I do feel kind of bad for them when I see them get hit because they are independent contractors and must provide their own insurance (never have any). They are complete psychos and fun to get drunk with though.

What I hate the most are the assjacks that ride side by side hogging a lane. Look behind you. Do you see this canary yellow car behind you? What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche." That means I can go faster than 20 mph. Get the fark out of the way or you will keep listening to my horn, interrupting the important conversation you are having about bicycles. Would it kill you to ride single file on the side so I can get around you?

oh god. this is wonderful:

"But we're forgetting about the other half of Mr. Dempsey's gripe: the clown suits.

I wish we as a species could become aware that when a given body rides the streets of a given U.S. town on an obscure Saturday morning, said body is not actually in France racing Lance. What is it that makes a human want to wear a costume and become somebody else? Look at the Harley culture. You really think those fat guys with their fat heads in itty-bitty helmets are tough and mean? Could they even walk a mile? I doubt it. But they sure do look mean and tough because once they put on the cowboy suit and get on the hog, they're not who they were five minutes ago. They're mean and tough high plains drifters now.

If I sported a Michael Phelps outfit pool side would I be Michael Phelps? Would my wife provide me with a first class one way ticket to Moccasin Bend? I sincerely hope she would.

What I mean is that I seriously don't believe the wind resistance savings these little suits afford is worth the shameless display of, well, vitals. At a distance it's pretty silly but it's okay because my eyes aren't as sharp as they used to be."

BigDumbGuy: Christ. That reads like a Fark thread.

I would have to disagree. The dialog is much more coherent and logical than that on a Fark thread. And nobody's posted any pictures of that accident in Mexico that killed a couple bikers.

this has to be fake. there is no way this site can possible be real:
"If I am not mistaken, Arlos Dempsey is the gentleman that has acquired old discarded/donated bicycles and refurbished them to give to disadvantaged children at Christmas. I have heard of his efforts for many years and admire his concern for the less fortunate children in our community. "

The story needs more references to clown suits.

Bicyclists and car drivers are all arrogant jackasses. I say we get rid of personal transit all together.

7of7: Bicyclists and car drivers are all arrogant jackasses. I say we get rid of personal transit all together.

That's like saying Johns and people who don't use hookers are all arrogant jackasses and we should all be whores.

Ah bicycle hate.

Maybe if drivers actually learned to accept the fact that people do use bicycles and a bunch of idiot cyclists learned to pay attention on a bike we'd be fine.

Also if cities spent more money on bike lanes would be helpful too.

Well, at least this thread won't be predictable.

Wait, what?

Canadian Canuck: Also if cities spent more money on bike lanes would be helpful too.

I WILL NOT LET MY TAX DOLLARS BE SPENT TO EASE THE COMMUTE OF CLOWN-SUITED NE`ER-DO-WELLS!

Yes some bicyclists can be annoying. Don't kill them though. It's not worth it. You might get scratches on your bumper.

Maybe if idiots who rode bicycles paid attention to the traffic laws there would be less accidents. I have been involved (as a witness) in three accidents where bikers ran red lights and had been t-boned. One of which I was credited with saving the life of the driver who hit the biker when his partner was pulling her out of the car for hitting the idiot who rad the red light. Police had to tazer the guy several times. Personally I almost killed several bikers when driving the speed limit around a blind corner where were several bikers in the wrong lane facing me. State troopers were called and arrested several and small claims had me get repairs to my truck due to running off of the road to avoid them.
Share the road- YES! Be arrogant assholes who ignore the rules? Hope that they die.

What are these people 12? Grow up and run to work. That way you can short cut through parks and use the sidewalks.

Canadian Canuck: Maybe if drivers actually learned to accept the fact that people do use bicycles and a bunch of idiot cyclists learned to pay attention on a bike we'd be fine.

You should take a vacation in Beijing. It is shear terror when you are in a taxi. Bikes are all over the place going in seemingly random directions. The cabbies come within inches of hitting them and causing this tough Marine to scream like a little girl. Then the cabbie laughs at me. Also they get offended if you insist on wearing the seatbelt because they are "good drivers."

Do not even consider renting a car there.

BigDumbGuy: What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche."

Sorry about the small penis.

staplermofo: I WILL NOT LET MY TAX DOLLARS BE SPENT TO EASE THE COMMUTE OF CLOWN-SUITED NE`ER-DO-WELLS!

I DON'T WANT MY TAX DOLLARS BE SPENT TO EASE THE COMMUTE OF COMMUNIST DRIVING HIPPIE MEN!

/what?

Canadian Canuck: /what?

In America, city money comes from the people within the city.
Ergo, if they city paid for more bike lanes, I would, indirectly, be paying to help bicyclists -- in clown suits mind you -- be on the streets of my fair city. I refuse to be a part of that.

YEAH, I SAID "ERGO" LIKE A MOFOING SOPHIST AND USED A SHIAT TON OF COMMAS!

BigDumbGuy: Also they get offended if you insist on wearing the seatbelt because they are "good drivers."

Same with my arab friends. Then they gun the engine and test their tires.

I am a clown-suited cyclist and I obey the rules. As was pointed, the clown suit helps me be seen and it is also functional. My commute is easier when my clothes are a bit more aeordynamic. I stop at signals and and respect crosswalks where cars scream through. I have been hit once by a woman who ran a stop sign and have come close on many other occasions. I have had objects thrown at me, been yelled at, honked at (yes, I know you are there, you don't need to announce yourself) and have put up with alot of crap from fat-ass drivers who probably get winded walking to the mailbox. The Fritos will still be at the Wal-Mart even if you get there 5 minutes later so hey lardy, why not enjoy a more peaceful drive and appreciate that other people are 1) - Economzing, 2) - Getting excercise, 3) - Enjoying the scenery (it's amazing what you can see when you are going half as fast) and 4)- Getting rid of a little stress while you lather up in your road rage. But I forgot, you all-you-can-eat, fat-ass, it's my right to drive, fark-wad - it's the American way.

ADDDAddy: But I forgot, you all-you-can-eat, fat-ass, it's my right to drive, fark-wad - it's the American way.



Because that picture of the car take-out isn't allowed.

I've never thought of them as clown suits. More like homo suits. It wearing those tights isn't gay, I don't know what is.

exvaxman: I have been involved (as a witness) in three accidents where bikers ran red lights and had been t-boned.

I don't mind sharing the road with bicyclists, but I get pissed off every time I see them run red lights (or break other road rules). That shiats dangerous, I don't want to hit someone doing that.

MixxMaster: BigDumbGuy: What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche."

Sorry about the small penis.

It's just a 1970 4 cylinder 914. The "poor mans Porsche." It is nothing to brag about, although I do look cool in it and you can take turns in it at insanely high speeds (mid-engine).

It's so cute how they all pretend they are sponsored.

Can we please get back to my awesome car? Jesus, I thought threadjacking was frowned upon here.

Not mine, but they all look the same. Mine has cool mag wheels and has a Porsche stickers on the bottom of the doors so people looking at it from the side know it is a Porsche (actually they are 1/2 VW).

BigDumbGuy: Not mine, but they all look the same. Mine has cool mag wheels and has a Porsche stickers on the bottom of the doors so people looking at it from the side know it is a Porsche (actually they are 1/2 VW).

Is it true they have less than horsepower than any car currently for sale in America?

staplermofo: Is it true they have less than horsepower than any car currently for sale in America?

Maybe. The 1.7 liter engine produced 80 horsepower. It is not exactly a race car, but still fun to drive.

BigDumbGuy: Maybe. The 1.7 liter engine produced 80 horsepower. It is not exactly a race car, but still fun to drive.
My Kia puts out over 100 horse power. That's an entire significant figure more than your Porsche.
It's also a grown up color.

Ladies, e-mail in profile.

Greenage. Heh.

staplermofo: BigDumbGuy: Maybe. The 1.7 liter engine produced 80 horsepower. It is not exactly a race car, but still fun to drive.
My Kia puts out over 100 horse power. That's an entire significant figure more than your Porsche.
It's also a grown up color.

Ladies, e-mail in profile.


The 916 variant was a serious race car. 916. (new window) It didn't go into production though. As was the 914-6 GT (new window).

staplermofo:

YEAH, I SAID "ERGO" LIKE A MOFOING SOPHIST AND USED A SHIAT TON OF COMMAS!

NOW YOU ARE ALL FANCY WITH THE "ERGO" AND THE "DESCARTES" WITH THE COGITO ERGO SUM.

THANK GOD I DO NOT LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE FANCY LIBERAL ELITE PHILOSOPHERS

Canadian Canuck: THANK GOD I DO NOT LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE FANCY LIBERAL ELITE PHILOSOPHERS

MY CAPS ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR CAPS, SYRUP CHUGGER!

Non-professional cyclists who wear the spandex crap are like you or me going to the local pool in a one piece body suit. Totally useless for the purpose, just makes you look like a douche playing dress-up.

staplermofo: Canadian Canuck: THANK GOD I DO NOT LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE FANCY LIBERAL ELITE PHILOSOPHERS

MY CAPS ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR CAPS, SYRUP CHUGGER!

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:

If you want to get into it with me, know this: I will not stop until you put Tokkaekko on your movie list.

swahnhennessy: Non-professional cyclists who wear the spandex crap are like you or me going to the local pool in a one piece body suit. Totally useless for the purpose, just makes you look like a douche playing dress-up.

I wear spandex under my shorts to avoid some serious chafing. And to avoid a serious case of dangly jangly.

Tr0mBoNe: swahnhennessy: Non-professional cyclists who wear the spandex crap are like you or me going to the local pool in a one piece body suit. Totally useless for the purpose, just makes you look like a douche playing dress-up.

I wear spandex under my shorts to avoid some serious chafing. And to avoid a serious case of dangly jangly.

THIS. I wear padded spandex shorts to 1) Keep my ass from getting saddle sore; 2) keep my junk from bouncing around; and 3) keep my legs and other parts from chafing. I wear a pair of cargo or mountain bike shorts over them for practical reasons (pockets being the biggest one).

I also wear a bright-colored shirt so that cars and peds can see me. You'd be surprised how many people can't see a fat guy wearing a bright orange shirt doing 15 mph on a bike, even though I obey all traffic laws.

/ that includes stop signs, turn signals, and yielding right-of-way.

'nuff said

I hate bicyclists that ride on the road against oncoming traffic. And the ones that run red lights or stop signs because they are on a bicycle.

darkhorse23

I hate you.

/just for today

These lycra-clad weekend warrior bike assholes are the scourge of north san diego. They always ride in packs on roads with no bike lane or shoulder. Luckily my car spews noxious exhaust and always seems to find its way floored and in neutral when trying to pass them.

Subaru WRX motors bolt right(well, there's a kit) in to 914s. 250+ hp. perks 'em up just a little.

Hal Jalykakik: Tr0mBoNe: swahnhennessy: Non-professional cyclists who wear the spandex crap are like you or me going to the local pool in a one piece body suit. Totally useless for the purpose, just makes you look like a douche playing dress-up.

I wear spandex under my shorts to avoid some serious chafing. And to avoid a serious case of dangly jangly.

THIS. I wear padded spandex shorts to 1) Keep my ass from getting saddle sore; 2) keep my junk from bouncing around; and 3) keep my legs and other parts from chafing. I wear a pair of cargo or mountain bike shorts over them for practical reasons (pockets being the biggest one).

I also wear a bright-colored shirt so that cars and peds can see me. You'd be surprised how many people can't see a fat guy wearing a bright orange shirt doing 15 mph on a bike, even though I obey all traffic laws.

+1 on all counts.

Canadian Canuck: staplermofo:

YEAH, I SAID "ERGO" LIKE A MOFOING SOPHIST AND USED A SHIAT TON OF COMMAS!

NOW YOU ARE ALL FANCY WITH THE "ERGO" AND THE "DESCARTES" WITH THE COGITO ERGO SUM.

THANK GOD I DO NOT LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE FANCY LIBERAL ELITE PHILOSOPHERS

YEA. THEY WILL ALL PAY WHEN THEIR MESSIAH IZ ELECTED AS EMPEROR OF THE PLANET AND TAKE ALL YOUR TAXES FOR THE SOCIALIST MOVEMENT WHILE SODOMIZING YOUR CHILDREN.

I like the clown suits. They look good on the douches lying on the side of the road, rocking back and forth in pain from a freshly broken hip. It's like an animated neon sign.

Wow, been a while since the last bicycle bashing thread...