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(People Magazine) Sad It's a dark day for Farkers everywhere. Scarlett Johansson has gotten married   (people.com) divider line 264
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32669 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2008 at 8:26 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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eyehate [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:02:06 AM  
Terribly dark.

Somebody I have never met before is married.

I am inconsolable.

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:12:11 AM  
...'cause so many Farkers had a chance with her.

/I hear she's into Cheetos

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:16:09 AM  
I don't care if she's married or not, as long as she starts doing full-frontal in her films. And maybe "loses" a sex tape. Or two. With her lesbian lovers.

/I'll be in my bunk

 
notmtwain [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:02:50 AM  
Well you know what they always say-- You only get married once for the first time.

 
Madbassist1 [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:27:20 AM  
devastating....*sniffle*

 
T-Servo 2008-09-28 07:37:31 AM  
Well, he's Canadian and he's not a drummer, so she's got that going for her.

 
bobbette [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:27:13 AM  
It's a dark day for Farkers everywhere Woody Allen. Scarlett Johansson has gotten married

FTFY

 
white [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:27:30 AM  
him?

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 08:28:02 AM  
I submitted this with a headline of equal value, so I'm really kicking mods in the groin right now.


/because Fark's a contest, you know?

 
downtownkid 2008-09-28 08:31:28 AM  
If you trust the adage "before you marry a girl take a good long look at her mother" you might all be cured of your Scarlett Fever.

 
Whistle Pig 2008-09-28 08:31:49 AM  
Sorry, but I can't seem to give a shiat. Can someone explain to me why I should?

 
michaeld5 2008-09-28 08:32:33 AM  
You would take this:
charagoesquerdo.files.wordpress.com

over this? Suckers.
www.sexiestcelebs.net

 
EvilElecBlanket [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:34:17 AM  
i197.photobucket.com

 
nautimike 2008-09-28 08:34:23 AM  
Noooooo! Somehow, I feel my chances have gotten significantly worse, even though I know this only lowers my odds from 0.00001% to 0.000001%.

 
Lord Summerisle 2008-09-28 08:34:43 AM  
That's too bad. I love that expression of bovine placidity she habitually wears. I'm sure it wouldn't irritate me if I had to look at it constantly. Having said that, I wouldn't mind having a go on her tits.

 
Rob Anybody 2008-09-28 08:35:09 AM  
i35.tinypic.com

I bet she'd dig my Fark username.

/she'll play tennis and wear dresses and have bare feet, and in the autumn, I'll ditch her, because she's my summer girl!

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 08:35:40 AM  
michaeld5: You would take this:


over this? Suckers.

It's not just the looks. That smoky voice is farking sexy to me.

/still take Reese, too

 
soy_bomb 2008-09-28 08:36:12 AM  
Does that mean she won't have dinner with Kim Il Sung to end nuclear proliferation?

 
natedogtx 2008-09-28 08:36:24 AM  
i470.photobucket.com

 
elvindeath 2008-09-28 08:37:12 AM  
michaeld5- I'd take them both. At the same time. With each other. And me. And Natalie Portman.

 
Huggermugger 2008-09-28 08:38:28 AM  
Woody Allen definitely has a "type": Louise Lasser (in her early 20s), Mia Farrow in her younger days, Scarlett Johansson. They all look alike.

/Louise was hot when she was young

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 08:39:10 AM  
elvindeath: michaeld5- I'd take them both. At the same time. With each other. And me. And Natalie Portman.

I like the way you think

 
Savoir-Faire 2008-09-28 08:41:09 AM  
Isn't it sad that the article has to say, "This is the first marriage for both"?

It almost implies there WILL be a second.

 
johnnyrocket 2008-09-28 08:41:37 AM  
Baumer: elvindeath: michaeld5- I'd take them both. At the same time. With each other. And me. And Natalie Portman.

I like the way you think

You could always throw Jess in the mix.

mymalaysia.files.wordpress.com

 
dhamack 2008-09-28 08:42:01 AM  
Dark day? Meh.

So she's got a big rack, it still doesn't take away from that face.

 
white [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:46:46 AM  
It's like raaain..

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 08:48:00 AM  
johnnyrocket:

butt cheeks

/that is all

 
Fizics 2008-09-28 08:48:10 AM  
I'm having a big rack attack! Post more pics!

 
Shadowknight [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:50:22 AM  
It's not like I ever had a chance with her. I'm married anyway, so it doesn't matter. I just want her to do a nude scene or twelve.

 
guyver01 2008-09-28 08:51:27 AM  
dhamack: Dark day? Meh.

So she's got a big rack, it still doesn't take away from that face.

So.. look at her backside the whole time then...

www.fileitunder.com

 
Arkcon 2008-09-28 08:54:19 AM  
img2.timeinc.net

Fark. But she can fill out a plain old shirt and pants like no one else, can't she.

/My bunk. I'll be in it.

 
No Such Agency 2008-09-28 08:54:21 AM  
downtownkid:
If you trust the adage "before you marry a girl take a good long look at her mother" you might all be cured of your Scarlett Fever.

I'm not worried about her (my GF, not Scarlett) turning into her mother... her life goal is to NOT turn into her mother. I'm worried about her turning into some completely unique and unexpected crazy person. Hell, I'm worried I'll turn into some completely unique and unexpected crazy person.

 
Shadowknight [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:55:20 AM  
downtownkid: If you trust the adage "before you marry a girl take a good long look at her mother" you might all be cured of your Scarlett Fever.

I have yet to find a picture of her mother. Care to share with the class?

 
LupusC 2008-09-28 08:56:15 AM  
First we lose Paul Newman.
Then this.

Life totally sux. And seems meaningless...

 
Supercheeks [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:57:11 AM  
She looks exactly like some trailer trash skank I went to school with. I just can't get past that long enough to think she's hot.

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 08:57:16 AM  
No Such Agency: downtownkid:
If you trust the adage "before you marry a girl take a good long look at her mother" you might all be cured of your Scarlett Fever.

I'm not worried about her (my GF, not Scarlett) turning into her mother... her life goal is to NOT turn into her mother. I'm worried about her turning into some completely unique and unexpected crazy person. Hell, I'm worried I'll turn into some completely unique and unexpected crazy person.

well, you're Canadian so that's normal. you should be more worried if your head stops flapping or if it is no longer full of lies

/I keed

 
otto the bull 2008-09-28 09:01:57 AM  
Damn, look at the funbags on that hosehound!

 
sendbillmoney [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 09:04:59 AM  
Eh, I'm not mourning. The only hope I had of getting with her involved 1) outliving her, and 2) a shovel.

 
Richard Saunders 2008-09-28 09:10:46 AM  
Honestly never heard of her until now.

 
michaeld5 2008-09-28 09:10:51 AM  
sendbillmoney: Eh, I'm not mourning. The only hope I had of getting with her involved 1) outliving her, and 2) a shovel.

Outrageous!!!

nextraterrestrial.com

 
museamused 2008-09-28 09:12:44 AM  
johnnyrocket: Baumer: elvindeath: michaeld5- I'd take them both. At the same time. With each other. And me. And Natalie Portman.

I like the way you think

You could always throw Jess in the mix.

I like where this thread is going.

 
AnnoyingKidNextDoor 2008-09-28 09:14:32 AM  
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

/jumps

 
ReeferChiefer 2008-09-28 09:14:45 AM  
I can't wait until she gets pregnant boobs.

The image links still appear to work... I don't see how this affects me at all.

 
stiletto_the_wise 2008-09-28 09:15:20 AM  
I humbly submit, that we need more pictures of her sweater puppies, in order to, uhm, mourn.

 
junge altman 2008-09-28 09:16:01 AM  
meh...who cares now that Joanne Woodward is available

 
Baumer 2008-09-28 09:18:12 AM  
junge altman: meh...who cares now that Joanne Woodward is available

I don't even feel bad about laughing at that.

 
michaeld5 2008-09-28 09:19:05 AM  
stiletto_the_wise: I humbly submit, that we need more pictures of her sweater puppies, in order to, uhm, mourn.

Everyone please meet Gemma Atkinson
www.boobclues.com

 
ReeferChiefer 2008-09-28 09:20:13 AM  
cache.defamer.com

 
skinink 2008-09-28 09:21:57 AM  

Everytime I see a pic of Scarlett Johansson, it reminds me of the nickname Richard Burton had for Elizabet Taylor: "Miss Tits". That's what I think of Scarlett. See is an okay actress, but if you compared her to other actresses of her age, she not great.


This isn't to say I wouldn't sleep with her. She's smoking!


 
GungFu 2008-09-28 09:22:05 AM  
Dammit.

And she said she would marry me next. Liar.


/how come no-one ever posts pics of her from The Man Who Wasn't There?
//Sexiest ever! Not the giving Billy Bob a blow-job bit but her just lounging about in her house bits...yum yum!

 
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