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(Some Guy) Strange Shoplifter pulls from her pants 10 DVDs, a Play Station, a pair of tube socks, a black and red bra, a black and red pair of women's underwear with the word "pouty" printed on them, boys underwear, and two rings   (nwitimes.com) divider line 96
More: Strange  

96 Comments   (+0 »)


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NecoConeco [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 02:23:07 AM  
FTA: She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.

WTF?

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 02:23:08 AM  
What? No partrige in a pear tree?

 
kitryne [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 03:06:56 AM  
Quote 2008-09-28 02:23:07 AM
FTA: She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.


Well, it's a good thing it was in her pants then.

 
Nebulious [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 03:08:28 AM  
Not a clown car, but almost as big.

 
TikiAndTorch [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 03:14:10 AM  
The Aristocrats!

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 03:19:09 AM  
FTA...Yeakey was charged with felony theft and misdemeanor conversion. She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.


Someone needs to explain to the reporter that jails don't have a death row. However, most prisons do.

 
FreakPuppet 2008-09-28 03:28:17 AM  
kitryne: Quote 2008-09-28 02:23:07 AM
FTA: She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.

Well, it's a good thing it was in her pants then.


After I RTFA, I LOL'd

 
vegasj 2008-09-28 03:58:22 AM  
no wonder my cock wouldn't fit in there...

/PlayStation = cock blocker

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 04:02:21 AM  
What is she, Hammer's girlfriend?

 
beve [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 04:35:29 AM  
Sounds like quite a pants party.

 
pecosdave [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 04:51:29 AM  
Hey junior, mommy got you a new Playstation game!

Thanks a pant-load mom!

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 05:44:37 AM  
Come on, lady - it's a vagina, not a shopping cart!

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:19:12 AM  
Something smells fishy here. Well... everything smells fishy here.

 
Richard Saunders 2008-09-28 06:55:12 AM  
Bathia_Mapes
FTA...Yeakey was charged with felony theft and misdemeanor conversion. She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.


Someone needs to explain to the reporter that jails don't have a death row. However, most
very few prisons do.

(more like 1-2 per state)

 
LonMead 2008-09-28 06:56:05 AM  
Seen this somewhere before...
www.octoberscreams.com

 
IBreakdance2NIN [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:59:43 AM  
I read the headline and thought, "Really? An entire PlayStation? I know those things are slimline but DAMN..."

Then I RTFA and it said it was a PS game.

Hmph.

-1 Subby.

 
Rat [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 06:59:56 AM  
When did tube socks come back in style?

© focus on the issues people

 
swahnhennessy 2008-09-28 07:08:44 AM  
Everything in moderation.

 
Viss 2008-09-28 07:11:49 AM  
Ta-daaaa!

 
luckyeddie 2008-09-28 07:12:17 AM  
... a cabbage and a CRACKERJACK pencil

 
Painezor 2008-09-28 07:13:10 AM  
and a partridge in a pear tree.

 
leathco 2008-09-28 07:14:07 AM  
A PS2 or (oh dear lord NO) a PS3?

 
Jamieboy 2008-09-28 07:14:39 AM  
Babs Johnson is not impressed.

 
ULTRON 5 2008-09-28 07:22:17 AM  
And she even went throught the 10 item or less line ! UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE !

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:27:27 AM  
leathco: A PS2 or (oh dear lord NO) a PS3?

I lover my PS3 Plays all the games and BluRay. Fark you. Damn thing puts off alot of heat though

 
bass555 2008-09-28 07:33:18 AM  
Shoot, a feller could have a hell of a time in Vegas with all that stuff

/paraphrased

 
rackrent [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 07:36:00 AM  
Well, at least she wasn't your average high school student.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zepAp5qQiDw

 
Lumoclear 2008-09-28 07:40:50 AM  
So that's where I left my Harley...

 
N. S. Radieaux 2008-09-28 07:41:51 AM  
After being caught, she knocked out everyone in the store with gas (including her accomplice) and did the same to herself after noticing an attractive unconscious person to sleep next to.

 
12inpianist 2008-09-28 07:42:17 AM  
"A whoopy cushion"

"I've never seen that before in my life"

"A rocket launcher"

"I have a permit for that"

"A picture of Callahans wife..."

 
SmithHiller 2008-09-28 07:44:54 AM  
Now watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat!

 
Well-read Baron 2008-09-28 07:46:11 AM  
I hope she's not using that antifungal cream for what I think she using it for.

 
myalias1845 2008-09-28 07:46:25 AM  
Now is this what you would refer to as magic pants?

 
nonoyesno 2008-09-28 07:46:29 AM  
img179.imageshack.us

 
TheHopeDiamond 2008-09-28 07:46:52 AM  
I swear to God, I was in a grocery store when they caught this big fat woman with a ham under her skirt.

The sight of the security guard removing it is seared into my memory.


/Please cue "What has been seen ..." cat!

 
Aschenputtel 2008-09-28 07:53:41 AM  
NecoConeco, Bathia_Mapes, and Richard Saunders...

FTA...Yeakey was charged with felony theft and misdemeanor conversion. She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.

Someone needs to explain to the reporter that jails don't have a death row. However, most very few prisons do.


The fact that no county jail has a *DEATH ROW* struck also struck me as a relevant point--but maybe even more so, this: Why the hell would the writer even think of it? Since when is shoplifting a capital crime?

 
Ro_thunder 2008-09-28 07:55:08 AM  
And to think I came here for the hotdog v hallway comment.



/True story - a buddy of mine from "A" school was trying to have the sexxy time with this chick. He's there, pounding away, and she's not making a sound.. He's a little worried, like what is wrong with her? He stops, and she's like "Are you done? I didn't know we started.." He's like fine, I'll give it to you... Tries for the next 5 minutes or so to really hammer her, to which she finally goes "Uh.. ok, I'm done".

//He was a black guy named after Jonathan Winters.. Seriously, his mom was a (the only one, I'm presuming) fan of Jonathan Freakin' Winters!

 
billybobtoo 2008-09-28 07:56:05 AM  
ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com

 
zenarche 2008-09-28 08:00:38 AM  
Baggin' Saggin' Barry?

/possibly obsure

 
Lonestar [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:00:48 AM  
Now where did she put the rings?

We sure this is a women?

 
zenarche 2008-09-28 08:01:15 AM  
/and maybe even obscure

 
Aschenputtel 2008-09-28 08:05:10 AM  
NecoConeco, Bathia_Mapes, and Richard Saunders...

FTA...Yeakey was charged with felony theft and misdemeanor conversion. She was taken to Porter County Jail, which has no death row.

Someone needs to explain to the reporter that jails don't have a death row. However, most very few prisons do.

The fact that no county jail has a *DEATH ROW* struck also struck me as a relevant point--but maybe even more so, this: Why the hell would the writer even think of it? Since when is shoplifting a capital crime?


Now I remember...it's a reference to the disc title in the first line(s). I sort of skip those first lines when they editorialize. And try to be funny, no less. Kind of like the end.

 
cwick [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:05:38 AM  
Friend of mine saw a large lady at a grocery store checkout, when a canned ham fell out from under her dress she looked around and said "Who threw that ham at me?!?"

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:23:18 AM  
You know the store put all those undies back on the shelves.

And you know where she needed the anti-fungal creme.

 
Glitchwerks 2008-09-28 08:31:32 AM  
Must be one of those "juggalos" who wear those huge, baggy pants. Just an FYI for anyone who likes wearing really baggy pants, you are immediately marked as a shoplifter upon entering a store.

 
IlGreven 2008-09-28 08:31:56 AM  
Where the fark is the "Vagina: It's not a clown car" picture?

 
Bendal 2008-09-28 08:32:36 AM  
One of my old employees worked evening shifts at a local WalMart as a security guard. His job was to watch the security cameras for shoplifters, and then catch them when they left the front door with the merchandise. The security room was way in the back, however, so he had to run through the store to get there on time; he wasn't allowed to catch them in the store.

He said one large woman wearing a skirt attempted to steal a small TV by putting it under the skirt and walking out with it between her legs. When he caught up to her she protested she was innocent, but in the argument the TV dropped to her feet. At that point she began yelling she had no idea how it got there...

 
cwick [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:36:13 AM  
IlGreven: "Vagina: It's not a clown car shopping cart"
FTFY

 
Mega Steve [TotalFark] 2008-09-28 08:49:03 AM  
GreenAdder: What is she, Hammer's girlfriend?

Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-09-28 08:49:47 AM  
Bendal: He said one large woman wearing a skirt attempted to steal a small TV by putting it under the skirt and walking out with it between her legs. When he caught up to her she protested she was innocent, but in the argument the TV dropped to her feet. At that point she began yelling she had no idea how it got there...


This is the point where you should just be allowed to shoot them in the head and call the cart-pusher over to move the body into a ditch somewhere.

 
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