Magic Pants...yum.

So, uh, people like to wear flattering clothes?

That's some fine journalism, Lou.

Some said they used vaseline on their eyelids to appear more awake, while it was also suggested haemorrhoid cream under the eyes gets rid of dark circles and bags.

Whoa there. That is a Guido trade secret, we can't just have everyone doing it now.

"And one in 10 admitted using breast-enhancing "chicken fillets"."

....
This one kind of screams to be mocked, but then again, it does that itself.
/mmm, chicken breast fillets
//finger lickin' good

Men meanwhile were asked what outfit they believed women to look sexiest in.

While women believed a classic black dress or snug fitting jeans was the best, men thought short skirts and low-cut tops were the way to go.

No (on an attractive woman), it's the properly fitting summer dress.
Really.
(Or naked)

berylman: Some said they used vaseline on their eyelids to appear more awake, while it was also suggested haemorrhoid cream under the eyes gets rid of dark circles and bags.

Whoa there. That is a Guido trade secret, we can't just have everyone doing it now.

I actually learned that from Conan O'Brien

"And one in 10 admitted using breast-enhancing "chicken fillets".

Just... damn!

/Whiskey...tango...foxtrot

The picture of Jennifer Lopez next to it looked like she took a fist to the eye.

2 out of 5....

//yeah, I just reduced that fraction

All women's pants are "magic" - I make them dissappear.

/didn't RTFA

What, did someone knight Ric Romero so that he's now Sir Ric Romero?

/Candidate for best non-news story of the year.

Mormon magic pants

Some of us realize that no amount of magic undergarments will do the trick, so we just let ourselves go.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The picture of Jennifer Lopez next to it looked like she took a fist to the eye.

A woman that can take a punch or two is very desirable.

/magically rehosted

Magic pants for "magic legs"?

panzerfaustbob: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The picture of Jennifer Lopez next to it looked like she took a fist to the eye.

A woman that can take a punch or two is very desirable.

Why because you like to repeat yourself?

Are these "magic paints"?

myalias1845: panzerfaustbob: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The picture of Jennifer Lopez next to it looked like she took a fist to the eye.

A woman that can take a punch or two is very desirable.

Why because you like to repeat yourself?

don't make fun of his stutter you insensitive clod!

I wear clothes that fit. No magic required, though admittedly some of my clothing is harder to get into.

"Those are skin-tight, baby... how d'you get into those pants?"

FTFA:While women believed a classic black dress or snug fitting jeans was the best, men thought short skirts and low-cut tops were the way to go.

Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

Chicken on breasticles? No WONDER i got salmonella.

Wonder if I should mention my Magic Shoes?

Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

Lady on the street, but a freak in the bed.

Seriously, how hard is that for women to understand?

Men: When you see a couple together and the girl is all skanked out, what do you immediately think about the guy?

If you want your man to feel respected, don't dress like a hooker when you're out with him

Hello, Mummy!

Magnanimous_J: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

Lady on the street, but a freak in the bed.

Seriously, how hard is that for women to understand?

Men: When you see a couple together and the girl is all skanked out, what do you immediately think about the guy?

If you want your man to feel respected, don't dress like a hooker when you're out with him

I know that. My dad doesn't like it when I wear skimpy clothes. I was asking if guys liked it.
Apparently not.
Interesting...

SleeklyAshamed: "And one in 10 admitted using breast-enhancing "chicken fillets"."

....
This one kind of screams to be mocked, but then again, it does that itself.
/mmm, chicken breast fillets
//finger lickin' good

Angelina Jolie used Chicken breast 'addons' in Tomb Raider to make her look like she filled the part.

Breast-fill-ins are great for what they are. If a person is using them to find a mate, or is using them more than once per blue moon, said person needs to either get tits bigger, or learn to be less of a useless twat.

A guy who judges a woman on breast size is the same as a woman who judges a man on his car/watch/whatever.

I was told to ignore dating when I was considering buying a compact 2 door (rather than the 4 door compact I settled on).

Magnanimous_J: Men: When you see a couple together and the girl is all skanked out, what do you immediately think about the guy?

it makes me think, "there's a man more financially prepared to have fun tonite than me".

vrod2028: Are these "magic paints"?

They must be, because suddenly I've got my magic wand in my hand..

Please tell me you don't actually mean chicken breasts. As in, uncooked pieces of meat.

Please tell me..

Chariset: Please tell me you don't actually mean chicken breasts. As in, uncooked pieces of meat.

Please tell me..

extra crispy and all.

Miss Smartass: Magnanimous_J: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

Lady on the street, but a freak in the bed.

Seriously, how hard is that for women to understand?

Men: When you see a couple together and the girl is all skanked out, what do you immediately think about the guy?

If you want your man to feel respected, don't dress like a hooker when you're out with him

I know that. My dad doesn't like it when I wear skimpy clothes. I was asking if guys liked it.
Apparently not.
Interesting...

Depends. Is the guy secure or not?

I am ok with my 'woman' wearing skimpy clothes, because I know that regardless of what she wears, she is going to come home to me.

At the same time, I see that if she feels the need to wear skimpy clothes, and attract the attention of people, I'm probably not doing it for her, in some important manner.

Blergle.

I suppose it comes down to: are we at some event, where she wants to show off more than normal? Like Xmas, or whatever. If so, then no holds barred.

Just more proof that women are born and bred for deception.

/how do you think marriage got started?

Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

I wonder where that 40% would fall on this graph...



/hotlinked because I don't care...

Quantum Apostrophe: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

you ripper :)

Quantum Apostrophe: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

Sorry, my mistake.
*your
And I want my guy not to get upset over grammar errors.

kroonermanblack: Miss Smartass: Magnanimous_J: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

Lady on the street, but a freak in the bed.

Seriously, how hard is that for women to understand?

Men: When you see a couple together and the girl is all skanked out, what do you immediately think about the guy?

If you want your man to feel respected, don't dress like a hooker when you're out with him

I know that. My dad doesn't like it when I wear skimpy clothes. I was asking if guys liked it.
Apparently not.
Interesting...

Depends. Is the guy secure or not?

I am ok with my 'woman' wearing skimpy clothes, because I know that regardless of what she wears, she is going to come home to me.

At the same time, I see that if she feels the need to wear skimpy clothes, and attract the attention of people, I'm probably not doing it for her, in some important manner.

Blergle.

I suppose it comes down to: are we at some event, where she wants to show off more than normal? Like Xmas, or whatever. If so, then no holds barred.
.
.
.
Christmas? It's ok for her to dress slutty on christmas, to "show off more than normal", while going to visit family and friends? A time and a place for all things, dude.

kroonermanblack: I suppose it comes down to: are we at some event, where she wants to show off more than normal? Like Xmas, or whatever. If so, then no holds barred.

I didn't mean to come off as some conservative prude. If a top or dress shows a bit of cleavage, I don't get bent out of shape.

But if a girl's got half her boobs hanging out, it clearly says to the world. "I am looking for attention."

Miss Smartass: I was asking if guys liked it.

Hey, I love great breasts and I'm sure all the straight guys in here agree with me. But showing off the goodies is a sign that you are sexually available, which works out real well if you are, but if you've got a man, it makes him look awful.

Good God, the return of structured undergarments. Yay! Remember how bulgeless Doris Day was in her 60's films? The trusses and bindings under the perfect little tight dress made it all look so peechy. Even on Mrs. Kravits.
That shiat goes way back-- even the ancient Greeks laced it all in under their robes. We cast off all sculpting underwear somewhere after the bra burning incidents. (but you couldnt tell with all the huge shoulderpads and hairdos that obscured it all thru the 80's.)

Yes, we females are more comfy now, but the visual cost has been high. The serious un-hemmed-in flabbage walking the streets and rolling out of car seats heading for donut shops can be alarming. It also can make some of us evenm more psycho than normal trying to reach perfection in the gym, or result in just giving up. Look what a $750 pair of Magic Pants can do-- it can save the world!

Miss Smartass: Quantum Apostrophe: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

Sorry, my mistake.
*your
And I want my guy not to get upset over grammar errors.

.
.
.
Well, it's not like he shaves yet, or anything. I imagine at his age, he'd overlook a freakin' elephant in the driveway, if he thinks he might have a chance of getting some.

Quantum Apostrophe
I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

I LOL'D!!!

headstone: Miss Smartass: Quantum Apostrophe: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

Sorry, my mistake.
*your
And I want my guy not to get upset over grammar errors.

.
.
.
Well, it's not like he shaves yet, or anything. I imagine at his age, he'd overlook a freakin' elephant in the driveway, if he thinks he might have a chance of getting some.

Who says I go for guys my age?

Miss Smartass: headstone: Miss Smartass: Quantum Apostrophe: Miss Smartass: Tell me, Farkers, would you want you're girl to look like a skank?

I want my girl to know the difference between YOU ARE and YOUR. And she does. And it's hot.

Sorry, my mistake.
*your
And I want my guy not to get upset over grammar errors.

.
.
.
Well, it's not like he shaves yet, or anything. I imagine at his age, he'd overlook a freakin' elephant in the driveway, if he thinks he might have a chance of getting some.

Who says I go for guys my age?
.
.
.
What? You're shootin' for the fifteen year old?

headstone: Well, it's not like he shaves yet, or anything. I imagine at his age, he'd overlook a freakin' elephant in the driveway, if he thinks he might have a chance of getting some.

No, grammar is vital. I can't even tell you how many times I've been hitting it off with a lady, and she's smart, quirky, and sexy. Then she doesn't use an apostophe where one is needed and I physically throw her out of my apartment.

The survey of 1,300 women, carried out by the Lakeside Shopping Centre...

LOL'd

Miss Smartass: Who says I go for guys my age?

Somebody needs to break out the Chris Hanson pics.

/I can't cause I'm at work
//Also, I don't know how

Chariset writes: Please tell me you don't actually mean chicken breasts. As in, uncooked pieces of meat. Please tell me..

Assuming this is a serious question-- the article is referring to silicone push up pads that women put in their bras. (Think of implants, but stuffed in women's bras rather than being surgically implanted.) In shape and color the pads vaguely resemble uncooked chicken breasts so some people refer to the pads that way.

Here's a representative example: http://www.herroom.com/Fashion-Forms-8406-Silicone-Push--Up-Bra-Pads.shtml (pops).

Magnanimous_J: headstone: Well, it's not like he shaves yet, or anything. I imagine at his age, he'd overlook a freakin' elephant in the driveway, if he thinks he might have a chance of getting some.

No, grammar is vital. I can't even tell you how many times I've been hitting it off with a lady, and she's smart, quirky, and sexy. Then she doesn't use an apostophe where one is needed and I physically throw her out of my apartment.
.
.
.
Dude. We're talking about thirteen year olds. At that age, most guys would hump a tree, if the knot looks right.