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(International Herald Tribune) Amusing Pirates hijack a cargo ship, the cargo ship has a problem. Pirates hijack a Ukrainian arms ship, pirates have a problem   (iht.com) divider line 180
More: Amusing  
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Open_Mouth_Inert_Foot 2008-09-27 12:28:29 PM  
at least they didn't piss of the japanese, then they'd have ninjas after them.

 
snocone [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 12:44:19 PM  
OOPS!
This means more global warming.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 12:53:21 PM  
It looks like they found out the harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd way.

 
aimtastic [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 12:58:44 PM  
I bet those were some damn happy pirates for a few hours, though. If I was a pirate, took over a ship, pulled off a tarp, and found a farking tank, I think I'd pretty much wet myself.

 
This About That [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 01:08:30 PM  
"I have an idea! Let's go rip off a Ukranian state-owned arms merchant! Y'arr!"

 
queezyweezel 2008-09-27 01:09:12 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: It looks like they found out the harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd way.

LOL +1 interwebs.

 
queezyweezel 2008-09-27 01:11:23 PM  
aimtastic: I bet those were some damn happy pirates for a few hours, though. If I was a pirate, took over a ship, pulled off a tarp, and found a farking tank, I think I'd pretty much wet myself.

I don't know about that. They're pretty easy to trace, hard to move, and require a shiatload of logistics to support. The RPGs and small arms however, that had to be like Jessica Alba, a kilo of coke, and a box of rubbers under the christmas tree.

 
wargarbl 2008-09-27 01:14:52 PM  
FTFA: "There is even a pirate spokesman (who could not be reached for comment on Friday.)"

lol wut?

/weird

 
Pope George Ringo [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 02:18:06 PM  
Nice, more "shoe with human foot inside washes up on beach" stories in a few weeks...

/sharks no likey

 
mainstreet62 [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 02:47:21 PM  
this will not end well for the pirates

 
rmoose 2008-09-27 02:51:06 PM  
I hope they get a better pirate radio station out of the deal.

 
jaylectricity [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 02:52:14 PM  
If they get away with it other pirates will begin parroting their tactics.

 
seveword 2008-09-27 02:52:48 PM  
wargarbl: FTFA: "There is even a pirate spokesman (who could not be reached for comment on Friday.)"

lol wut?

/weird


"Arr. Thank ye for coming. The real reason all ye be here is to discuss the recent string of pirate attacks on ye cargo ships. Aye, we be doing some shifty pirate business round these waters. Sometimes, people get hurt messin' in business that aint be theirs! But, its all a lie I tell ye! There be ninjas attackin' these ships and blamin' it on the pirates! It's a sham, I tell ye! We be innocent! Thank you."

 
and the floor show never ends 2008-09-27 02:56:23 PM  
Ummm... Why didn't a destroyer or two escort a ship full of frickin' TANKS, for Chrissakes?

 
mjk42 2008-09-27 02:57:15 PM  
If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, and mother-farking Ukrainians.

 
Typhoid 2008-09-27 02:57:27 PM  
"Pirates even tried to attack an American naval supply ship earlier this week. The navy ship fired warning shots at them. The pirates sped away."

This is the second time I've heard about the US military firing warning shots to make the pirates stay away. How about sinking their farking pirate ships, to make them think twice next time?

 
Crispy 2008-09-27 02:58:20 PM  
From reading the article sounds like the US needs to stop sending food to Somalia and instead just run a few disguised gunboats through there every couple of weeks and kill some pirates. I think after a couple times a month of the pirates going to raid and ship and instead getting mowed down by machine gun fire unexpectedly would probably make them think twice about setting out.

 
devioustrevor 2008-09-27 02:58:36 PM  
From what I understand international law allows Pirates to be executed on site. Why doesn't the US Marine Corps charter a Filipino freighter and load it with a platoon of Marines and when the Pirates open that cargo hold give them a nasty surprise. After a couple of such incidents I imagine piracy would trend downwards pretty quickly.

 
studebaker hoch 2008-09-27 02:58:39 PM  
jaylectricity

If they get away with it other pirates will begin parroting their tactics.

They won't have a leg to stand on.

 
Warthog [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 02:58:53 PM  
Think I can get Drew or the Modmins to change my FarkID to Pirate Spokesman? Because that would rock.

 
hukedanfonix 2008-09-27 02:59:49 PM  
The US military oughta have a few frigates stationed in that area with AH-64 Apaches or some other attack helicopter on the back. Pirates show up and try to take a civilian ships? Call out the Apaches. Problem solved. And I guarantee you eventually the pirates are gonna decide it just isn't worth it harassing civilian ships when they have US attack helicopters on their ass every time they try.

 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:00:31 PM  
Admiral Horatio Nelson would be proud.

i221.photobucket.com

 
msimon8 2008-09-27 03:01:11 PM  
jaylectricity: If they get away with it other pirates will begin parroting their tactics.

www.teamdrunkottawa.com

/hotlinked like a sumbiatch

 
Phil the SWO [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:01:16 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

videowatch.files.wordpress.com

Hot like the barrel of an AK-47.

 
Crispy 2008-09-27 03:01:17 PM  
Don't forget about not sending any more food to Somilia while we are at it. Blame it on the pirates as the reason we can't send it to them.

 
Dead_Pool_82 2008-09-27 03:01:19 PM  
You never hear of ninja doing anything like this.
+1 for pirates.

 
Monty845 2008-09-27 03:01:22 PM  
Pirates have rather upset both the US and Russia at the same time...

Don't worry, I'm sure that between Bush and Putin we can count on a reserved and catious response to the problem... Neither of them would ever consider a full scale invasion of a foreign country.

 
scruffy1 [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:01:24 PM  
so what happens if both the Russian and the American warship get to the Ukrainian ship carrying Soviet era tanks originally bound to Kenya but now held by Somali pirates holding Russian, Ukranian and Latvian hostages at the same time? Would you then have the possibility of a Mexican standoff?

 
ronnie spleen 2008-09-27 03:02:28 PM  
wargarbl: FTFA: "There is even a pirate spokesman (who could not be reached for comment on Friday.)"

Yarr, now if e'd been looking fur a pirate to talk to Friday afore...

 
phoenixdan [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:03:08 PM  
Kind of confused here! If the shipped that was hijacked was carrying tanks, wouldn't that be a pretty big ship? Why did they let the pirates on board? Wouldn't the pirates have to climb up the ship? It is a frickin arms ship, shoot at the pirates, lob a grenade at them, do something!!!
The U.S. Navy should go ahead and issue a statement saying, any dingy, jonboat, or ghetto canoe that acts aggressively toward U.S. ship will be destroyed, no warnings. Quit playing around with warning shots.

 
balfourk 2008-09-27 03:03:42 PM  
Captain Jack Sparrow not available for comment.

mmm Keira Knightly

 
ThatGuyOverThere 2008-09-27 03:04:15 PM  
Typhoid: This is the second time I've heard about the US military firing warning shots to make the pirates stay away. How about sinking their farking pirate ships, to make them think twice next time?

Right, like we don't already get enough bad press about civilian casualties. You know if that happened, suddenly the boat would have been filled with high school honor students on a community service afternoon taking amputee orphaned children on a fishing trip so that they could teach them to eat for a lifetime.

But yeah, I'm all for honeypots just over the border and floating in international waters. They could even make it extra great and use blackbagged terrorists as "drop pieces." Solve all sorts of problems at once.

 
hyperspacemonkey 2008-09-27 03:04:38 PM  
queezyweezel: aimtastic: I bet those were some damn happy pirates for a few hours, though. If I was a pirate, took over a ship, pulled off a tarp, and found a farking tank, I think I'd pretty much wet myself.

I don't know about that. They're pretty easy to trace, hard to move, and require a shiatload of logistics to support. The RPGs and small arms however, that had to be like Jessica Alba, a kilo of coke, and a box of rubbers under the christmas tree.


I expect that organized African syndicates are good at moving black market military material of any sort.

 
hitler was a hardcore liberal 2008-09-27 03:07:15 PM  
mjk42: If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, and mother-farking Ukrainians.

tell that to stalin

 
lifeboat 2008-09-27 03:07:56 PM  
The pirate spokesman:

img157.imageshack.us

/Unavailable for comment

 
sorhed 2008-09-27 03:08:22 PM  
If I were the pirates in question, I'd be cutting bait right now. And probably a few throats. Take what I can on my zodiacs and booby trap the cargo ship for a nasty surprise when the cavalry arrives.

 
blueviking 2008-09-27 03:08:25 PM  
studebaker hoch: jaylectricity

If they get away with it other pirates will begin parroting their tactics.

They won't have a leg to stand on.


They'll be keeping an eye on the seas for some time.

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:08:32 PM  
Phil the SWO: Wanted for questioning:



Hot like the barrel of an AK-47.



Came here for this - awesome, thank you.

 
Father_Jack 2008-09-27 03:09:23 PM  
this seems like the kinda stuff SEAL and Spetznaz teams were created for.

we need a good ol fashioned pirate round up, like what we did back in the day against the Berbers in what is now present-day libya.

"from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli..."

you guys with me on this?

too bad we decommissioned all our battleships. this is the PERFECT use for a battleship with 16" guns. Go f up some pirate hideouts with a good salvo and save the expensive cruise missiles fro al qaeda. 16" shells dont cost much.

 
Magorn 2008-09-27 03:10:31 PM  
This is like the Pirate version of the Old Man and the Sea


my favorite line FTA:

"This is really getting out of control," said Mohammed Osman, a Somali government official in Kenya. "You see how many countries are involved now? These pirates aren't going to get away with this.


"and we'll all be lucky to live through it" , he should have added.

so if the Russians and the Americans reach the pirates at the same time, what's the protocol? Flip a coin? Make A wish? Take turns?

 
Befuddled 2008-09-27 03:10:31 PM  
Can't someone build a Q-ship or two and just blow the crap out of these idiots. If the pirates start going out and and never coming back, especially if they don't know why, soon there will be no more pirates.

If I ever win the lottery, one of the things I might do is sail around the globe. I should be able to arm my ship to defend myself and not be in trouble when I sail into port anywhere around the world. A permanently mounted gun on a ship shouldn't be a problem for anyone except someone intent on taking my things from me.

 
jmgilchr 2008-09-27 03:12:40 PM  
What happens when pirates try to board America's prison ships?

 
scruffy1 [TotalFark] 2008-09-27 03:12:54 PM  
Magorn: This is like the Pirate version of the Old Man and the Sea


my favorite line FTA:

"This is really getting out of control," said Mohammed Osman, a Somali government official in Kenya. "You see how many countries are involved now? These pirates aren't going to get away with this.

"and we'll all be lucky to live through it" , he should have added.

so if the Russians and the Americans reach the pirates at the same time, what's the protocol? Flip a coin? Make A wish? Take turns?


Mexican standoff.

 
Simia goosenicae 2008-09-27 03:13:23 PM  
www.delawareonline.com

Has his thoughts on the matter...

 
clipperbox 2008-09-27 03:13:40 PM  
blueviking: studebaker hoch: jaylectricity

If they get away with it other pirates will begin parroting their tactics.

They won't have a leg to stand on.

They'll be keeping an eye on the seas for some time.


As long as they can patch up relations.

 
gluestickralph 2008-09-27 03:16:35 PM  
They should just reactivate the USS Iowa and New Jersey. Keep them on station in the area. Watching your mothership get hit by volkswagon sized shells would make you rethink your career choice.

/shock and awe motherfarkers!

 
Dear Jerk 2008-09-27 03:16:36 PM  
2320 tons of weapons for $30M. That's $6/lb. I'd like to get walnuts at that price.

 
Tainted1 2008-09-27 03:16:44 PM  
Crispy: From reading the article sounds like the US needs to stop sending food to Somalia and instead just run a few disguised gunboats through there every couple of weeks and kill some pirates. I think after a couple times a month of the pirates going to raid and ship and instead getting mowed down by machine gun fire unexpectedly would probably make them think twice about setting out.

Bring back the Q ships!

Seriously, the whole lot of em should be exterminated like the intestinal parasites that they are.

 
Converser 2008-09-27 03:16:48 PM  
FTFASomali officials say the pirates are growing in numbers, with more than 1,000 gunmen at their disposal, and they have evolved into a sophisticated organized crime ring with their headquarters along the rocky shores of northern Somalia. There is even a pirate spokesman (who could not be reached for comment on Friday.)

WTF? There is a spokesman for known terrurists, and we know this? WTF?

 
ultraholland 2008-09-27 03:17:37 PM  
farm4.static.flickr.com

Advantage: Ninjas

 
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